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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:23:41 AM EDT
How much cooking skill do you have to have before you are completely gay?
I figure I am pretty much a typical guy. I can throw a steak on the grill, I can make a peanut butter sandwich, I can open a package of beef jerky, and I can heat up soup. If it requires more than that, someone will have to prepare it for me. I just can't stand playing with food for a long time before I eat (barbecued steaks being the sole manly exception) and "pretty" food is lost on me. I just don't see any point to spending a lot of time preparing some concoction of artichoke hearts, brussel sprouts, and frog squeezings and then spreading that over a perfectly good piece of meat. WTF is Emeril doing with all that weird crap when he could have just barbecued the steak and had something good? God must have intended that women should do the cooking. That's why they have small hands -- it is easier to wash inside dishes and stir the food and stuff. When men have cooking shows they invariably prepare wierd crap you couldn't get a crocodile to eat. Now there is another thread here where a guy is asking about cake decorating and "fondants". I am sorry, but cake decorating is gay. And I don't even want to look up the word "fondant" to see what it is for fear that I might turn gay. I say "meat and potatoes for dinner and screw your weird vegetables I have never seen before" and "any food preparation more than making a peanut butter sandwich is gay." (Exceptions are made for barbecuing. Barbecuing is manly.) How say you all? 
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:26:48 AM EDT
[#1]
Real men know their way around a kitchen, it's part of that self sufficiency thing.
RAH said it best:
- Robert A. Heinlein |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:27:08 AM EDT
[#2]
I think your a homophobe, or the blunts are making you paranoid.. Step back from the bong and everything will be just fine...
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:28:07 AM EDT
[#3]
I like simple food,so I'm good.
And why make it pretty? All looks like shit the next day! (har har har) |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:28:17 AM EDT
[#4]
I run the rabbits down and eat them raw, thanks. 
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:28:44 AM EDT
[#5]
If you can make a quiche you're gay!
I cook alot, hell every damned day. I make alot of semi-complex foods and even admit to watching food network but I flat fukking refuse to make a friggen quiche or souflee ( see I cant even spell it) |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:28:57 AM EDT
[#6]
Best Chefs in the world are men. There are straight men who can cook like the best of them & there are gay men who can't cook for shit. If you're gay, you're gay, cooking has nothing to do with it, imho.
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:29:14 AM EDT
[#7]
Some people take life way too seriously. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:29:19 AM EDT
[#8]
true there is a point where it becomes gay(see emeril) but if you dont know how to cook at least 20-30 different types of meals then you are a pretty sad excuse for a male |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:31:21 AM EDT
[#9]
You're single aren't you.
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:33:27 AM EDT
[#10]
Well, I can do smooth peanut butter sandwiches, crunchy peanut butter sandwiches, with and without several kinds of jam, etc. Likewise I can successfully heat up just about every kind of canned soup there is. On the other hand, my wife can do everything from baking from scratch to twelve-course Thanksgiving dinners with all the trimmings. Even her peanut butter sandwiches taste better than mine. I guess I will go on being a sad excuse. It is just working out too well for me. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:33:57 AM EDT
[#11]
Nope. Married 35 years. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:34:06 AM EDT
[#12]
If you are a man who can make a roux while engaging in receptive anal intercourse without significant physical or emotional discomfort, you are gay.
Otherwise, there's no connection - and furthermore, if you're gay you're gay and you shouldn't worry about it. It's like asking "How much woodworking skill is Norwegian?" |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:35:28 AM EDT
[#13]
So, did you drink the "I'm a he-man macho caveman savage, and think all other men who arent the same exact cookie cutter carbon copy as me are gay" koolaid recently, or have you been like this a long time? |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:35:34 AM EDT
[#14]
Yes they do sir.. And there are many here.. Quiche is just like a thick omelet.. Ingredients: 1/4 cup melted butter 1-1/2 cup milk 1 teaspoon salt dash pepper 3 eggs 1/2 cup Bisquick baking mix 1 cup Swiss cheese, shredded 1/2 cup bacon (about 6 to 7 slices pre-cooked), cut or broken into small pieces. Mix first 5 ingredients together and beat well (wire whisk works well). Stir in Bisquick. Pour into 9-inch (deep) cake pan. Put meat and cheese on top of mixture (do not mix). Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:35:44 AM EDT
[#15]
Well, I had never considered that one, but now that you brought it up, how much woodworking skill is Norwegian? but woodworking isn't gay. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:35:50 AM EDT
[#16]
Aw come on. Quiche is just scrambled eggs in a pie shell. mmmmmmmmm, quiche. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:36:45 AM EDT
[#17]
If that is the case then 70% of arfcom is a little fruity.
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:36:51 AM EDT
[#18]
Quiche tastes nasty
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:38:53 AM EDT
[#19]
I've been married for 13 yrs and I cook 90% of the time. Does this I'm 90% gay? No, all it means is that I cook 90% of the time.............
 I do cook with a proficient skill.
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:39:26 AM EDT
[#20]
 I think you're all pretty full of shit. My dad is the best chef I know. He's also a 20 year navy vet. He learned from his dad who was also a career navy officer who fought in ww2. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:40:09 AM EDT
[#21]
He might also still be in the closet and is about ready to come out. hippie.gif |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:40:50 AM EDT
[#22]
it is if you make wooden dildos. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:40:52 AM EDT
[#23]
No normal activity is ghey unless you make it ghey.
Like for example, I once sat thru an entire international fashion show. IT WAS GHEY AS FUCK!!! The reason I did this is because I saw a cute woman standing in line and I introduced myself and sat with her thru the show. So my actions, although ghey to the casual onlooker, were actually done for the best of non-ghey reasons: to get a piece of ass off a good looking woman. Some things however are just plain old ghey. Like giving one of your pals a shoulder rub because he is complaining of a stiff shoulder. Nothing could make that non-ghey. Being a good cook is not necessarily gay. But it is in the danger zone.  |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:41:02 AM EDT
[#24]
I can throw a steak on the grill, I can make a peanut butter sandwich, I can open a package of beef jerky, and I can heat up soup
Too late. You're Gay. Quit your job and go back to school to learn to be an interior decorater. Start watching "Will and Grace", but not to check out Grace. Change the bars you go to. Throw out all you clothes and get a personal shopper to help you develope your new wardrobe. Might as well go with the flow. Remember, you are a GAY-American, a GAY-Republican, a GAY-Episcopalian, etc. Your gayness defines everything you do, and are. Everyone must accept, no, acclaim and affirm your gayness. Dance, Dance in the streets, you are GAY, and all should know and celebrate with you. Robert Heinlein was Gay too. His friends didn't call him Bob-Hiney for nothing. Back to searching for squirrel porn. Over. Edit; Holy Crap, NINE people posted while I was writing this drivel... |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:41:52 AM EDT
[#25]
Traditionally, women have stayed in the cave and cooked the food.
What attracts men to cooking elaborate meals, I'll never know. Maybe, their just getting in touch with their female side. Ghey. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:41:55 AM EDT
[#26]
S-O-U-F-F-L-E and it is actually very easy to make if you just read and follow the directions. My mom taught me when I was fairly young and it is the last meal I fixed for her before the chemotherapy made eating impractical. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:44:28 AM EDT
[#27]
I'd be an A-hole to respond with a smartass answer there so I'll just say that I stand corrected. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:46:56 AM EDT
[#28]
If you want PIE, learn to cook.
 I will guarantee if you can make a decent meal, don't stink, and fart at the table, you will get "dessert" after dinner. Works even better when you tell them you don't NEED a woman around because you can cook better then most of them. Drives em nutz and they have to prove otherwise.
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:47:11 AM EDT
[#29]
Speaking as a gay Norwegian woodworker, I would like to say that I find your narrow-minded dismissal of my beingness very offensive. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:48:29 AM EDT
[#30]
Cooking isn't gay.
Worring about what's gay is gay. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:55:13 AM EDT
[#31]
makes for a nice romantic date when you invite some woman over and prepare a nice meal for her. Then theres the couch, a little wine, and the bedrooms not to far away.
Speaking of cooking, anyone know how to make some good roast duck? Or maybe some BBQ duck? |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:55:54 AM EDT
[#32]
I can cook like nobody's business. Anything from "semi complex" meals, steaks, bbq (it's different from grilling, folks), tamales, quiche (gasp!), to pretty much anything else. Gay? Not a bit. I just love food. Eating the same thing every day is boring.
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:58:00 AM EDT
[#33]
Just to clarify here....
How much cooking skill is GHEY? "Gay" means happy, in spite of what many depressed homosexuals would have you believe  .
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:58:00 AM EDT
[#34]
+1 on the cooking because you like to eat, self reliance, etc.
Nothing pisses me off more than being hungry and wanting something but sucking at making it. I still haven't actually taken the time to learn more than ramen and grilled cheese
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Posted: 2/11/2006 8:58:45 AM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
How much cooking skill do you have to have before you are completely gay? I figure I am pretty much a typical guy. I can throw a steak on the grill, I can make a peanut butter sandwich, I can open a package of beef jerky, and I can heat up soup. If it requires more than that, someone will have to prepare it for me. I just can't stand playing with food for a long time before I eat (barbecued steaks being the sole manly exception) and "pretty" food is lost on me. I just don't see any point to spending a lot of time preparing some concoction of artichoke hearts, brussel sprouts, and frog squeezings and then spreading that over a perfectly good piece of meat. WTF is Emeril doing with all that weird crap when he could have just barbecued the steak and had something good? God must have intended that women should do the cooking. That's why they have small hands -- it is easier to wash inside dishes and stir the food and stuff. When men have cooking shows they invariably prepare wierd crap you couldn't get a crocodile to eat. Now there is another thread here where a guy is asking about cake decorating and "fondants". I am sorry, but cake decorating is gay. And I don't even want to look up the word "fondant" to see what it is for fear that I might turn gay. I say "meat and potatoes for dinner and screw your weird vegetables I have never seen before" and "any food preparation more than making a peanut butter sandwich is gay." (Exceptions are made for barbecuing. Barbecuing is manly.) How say you all? AWOB 
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Posted: 2/11/2006 9:03:31 AM EDT
[#36]
RAH's description of a U. S. Navy Surface Warfare Officer.
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Posted: 2/11/2006 9:03:42 AM EDT
[#37]
Who the hell "barbecues" a steak? Blasphemer. And Emeril sucks. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 9:56:13 AM EDT
[#38]
I'm at sea half my life with a VERY small crew, and NO cook. IMHO, anyone that can't cook a tasty meal I have no use for at sea.He should live on the beach within 200 yards of a McDonalds. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 9:57:03 AM EDT
[#39]
+1 if you cant cook good food, then you probably eat crappy food
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:02:40 AM EDT
[#40]
If you want food cooked right, you've got cook it yourself. Many resturants don't have time to cook food perfectly. Resturant food has way too much fat and sodium(as in salt & MSG).
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:04:17 AM EDT
[#41]
As long as you eat what you cook, there is no gayness in cooking. Period.
Now if you start worrying about your pot holders not matching your dish towels, you might have some issues. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:04:45 AM EDT
[#42]
Are speaking about Asian style BBQ duck? If so, I believe that stuff can't be made at home, and it takes specialized high-temp ovens. Don't really know for sure, but that is what I've been told. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:07:53 AM EDT
[#43]
Sounds like that Steven Seagal's character Casey Ryback in the 1992 move Under Siege. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:12:47 AM EDT
[#44]
 so true....I get free cookies that way, tell a cute girl you can make chocolate chip cookies better than she can, watch out......
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:14:32 AM EDT
[#45]
There is no level of cooking at which a man becomes gay.
There's a reason why the top chefs in the world are men. I dare you to call Mario Batali, Tony Bourdain, Morimoto Masaharu, or Wolfgang Puck gay to their faces. Just don't be surprised when they whip out a gigantic knife and chase you out of their kitchen. To make a dinner of macaroni and cheese with mashed potatoes as a side is not cooking. To craft a meal that would make you weep because you know you'll never taste anything as good again in your life, that's cooking, and that's a manly art. Okay, I'll grant that Bobby Flay probably loves the cock. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:19:46 AM EDT
[#46]
I like to cook, and am fairly good at it.
I think using the terms 'the ghey', and 'PrOn' is more man-meat-loving than knowing how to cook and enjoying it. But what the Hell do I know? My post count is only three-digits! 
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:19:53 AM EDT
[#47]
I'm kind of fascinated by some of the things I have seen or read about cooked, concocted, prepared, whipped-up, etc., over the years. Early in the `90's I remember reading about mid-evil dishes, including GROG made in authentic ways that I'd like to try.
I guess I'm saying cooking is just one of a series of complex skill sets, such as building an engine/car or truck/gun/house, "mixology" (making drinks), sailing, wine tasting, long distance cycling, seduction, hunting, climbing, or flying. It can be the journey as well as the destination to satisfy the appetite. |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:22:04 AM EDT
[#48]
I can cook with the best of men and I am not gay, but if you live in your momma's basement and post on here about men cooking being gay you may have issues.
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:23:13 AM EDT
[#49]
Quiche is just egg pie, so I don't think that qualifies. Now if you can make a souffle.... |
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Posted: 2/11/2006 10:24:08 AM EDT
[#50]
Yup. Had duck for the first time last month and it was excellant. Lemme google for a while and see what i get.... |
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