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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:33:14 AM EDT
[#1]
When I have kids, you better damn well believe they'll be respectful or they'll never be able to sit down.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:35:42 AM EDT
[#2]
yup
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:35:47 AM EDT
[#3]
I would if I had kids.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:36:38 AM EDT
[#4]
I do, our kids will as well!
Where is the poll? |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:39:51 AM EDT
[#5]
It's a matter of teaching your children respect to adults. The problem with today's society is that children are NOT taught to be respectful to anyone, even their own parents.
Both my boys better say yes sir/no sir, yes maam, no maam, please, thank you, may I, etc... or I will tan their assses. My father is a retired Army First Sergeant. I was raised to be respectful to adults and my kids and their kids will be as well. When Top said jump, you asked him how high when you were already in the air!!! Ken |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:40:40 AM EDT
[#6]
Yes, both of my kids do.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:41:04 AM EDT
[#7]
Yes. And I think I'm the only one of my friends that does so... they get a little upset when I insist that my kids call them "Mr." and Mrs." so-and-so too. But I don't think my 3 year old should be calling an adult by a first name. I refuse to have one of those disrespectful punks that I see everywhere.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:45:00 AM EDT
[#8]
Mine are required to, as well as please, thank you, no thank you, etc...but they may call adults (casual friends only) by first name except with a mister or miss infront....like Mr. Chris or Ms. Karen. All other adults by surname (Mr. Smith, Mrs. Jones)
roy d...Manners are manners. Period |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:45:35 AM EDT
[#9]
I have 5 kids. 2 of them are my biological children (18 and 14), and the other three are Camy's that I raise as my own (15, 13, and 12).
Every one of them uses ma'am and sir, shakes hands firmly during introductions, says, "excuse me" when they need to interject during a conversation, and never fails to say please and thank you. I know about 15 AZHTF members, and every one of them have complimented them on their manners and respect. There isn't any greater feeling in the world 
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:45:46 AM EDT
[#10]
EDIT
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:49:14 AM EDT
[#11]
All their lives. That's manners. More need it.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:50:24 AM EDT
[#12]
Yes..... somewhat. She's been saying please, thank you, may I, excuse me, and sorry since she could first talk. We made sure of that and insist upon it. Sir/Ma'am.... I'm not s consistant with that myself. It depends on the circumstances and the occasion, and thats hard to convey to a 2 year old.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 7:55:25 AM EDT
[#13]
I don't have any kids, but I was raised with the Sir/Ma'am thing. It's all about respect. And it was ingrained with ass whuppins!
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Posted: 8/26/2006 8:00:27 AM EDT
[#14]
What's kind of sad is when people comment on how polite kids are that say Sir/Ma'am Please/Thank You.It's sad that they stand out for behaving like they SHOULD.Parents don't teach manners/discipline and then wonder why they can't control little Johnny when he's 16.
I started out spanking my son when he was 3 about twice a month.As he realized the connection between bad behavior and a sore butt, the need for him to get re-acquainted with my work belt has gone down to about once every 3or4 months. I would like to add that I absolutely hate to spank my child but I know that it's something I have to do as a father. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 8:02:14 AM EDT
[#15]
I agree!!
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Posted: 8/26/2006 8:03:54 AM EDT
[#16]
My parents taught me manners early: please, thank you, excuse me, etc.
As for "sir"/"ma'am," I think it's creepy. I didn't do that when I was a kid ("Mom"/"Dad" worked just fine) and I turned out to be a pretty damned respectful person. Hell, the only time I use "sir"/"ma'am" today is when a) I'm speaking to a stranger, b) speaking to a person who holds an office (governor, senator, mayor, etc), or c) someone I honor greatly. I'm guessing this is generally a southern thing. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 8:18:02 AM EDT
[#17]
Speaking as a first generation Polish-American
 , you are damn right I have taught my kids manners! When I was raised it was far more stringent and I have adapted what my Parents taught me unto my Childrem. I have a 6 yr old and a 3 1/2 yr old. Please/thank you, excuse me/SIr and Ma'am are just the tip. Good table manners and general politness also help.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 8:50:43 AM EDT
[#18]
I do.
When I have them around, at least. 
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Posted: 8/26/2006 8:52:40 AM EDT
[#19]
+1000 My little girl is only 9 months old, but she's gonna learn please, thank you, and yes/no ma'am/sir. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 8:53:40 AM EDT
[#20]
Mr (Last name too) Until you can kick the shit out of them or buy them a drink. Dont have kids but words of my father.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 8:55:05 AM EDT
[#21]
The first and last words out of your mouth will be sir! Do you get me?
Sir, yes sir. I think it is funny when I tell my 5 year old to do something and he responds: Sir, Yes Sir! |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:04:13 AM EDT
[#22]
My parents never taught me to do that kind of thing. I say Sir and Miss. Ma'am can be offensive. I also hold doors and say excuse me even if I think I come close to getting in someone's way or obstructing their view or routine. I'm 19 and have been that way for years.
edit: I also believe the whole "say sir or you'll get the taste of the back of my hand/I say jump you say how high" kind of thing is bullshit. There are plenty of other ways to teach respect to a child without throwing your dominance in the childs face. What kind of lesson do you think that teaches them? |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:14:24 AM EDT
[#23]
Don't expect to be treated with respect if you do not treat others with respect.
Failure to teach your children good manners and proper respect is bad for the kids. Kids need to learn that their elders will respond to them better if they treat their elders with just this small level of deference. I know plenty of folks older than I (50) who are offended when people in the service industry who are much, much younger address them in overly familiar terms: dear, sweety, darling, etc. Few things make a parent prouder than to have other adults report back on how polite their children are when they are away from the house. Now that I am a geezer (am damn proud of it), I appreciate the good manners and appropriate deference shown to me. I am always polite and friendly in return. For those of us who were raised in the South, we take this for granted. Go hang out with the Yankees sometime and you will be amazed at what a crude and impolite culture they have back East. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:18:28 AM EDT
[#24]
In the process, I was taught to and they will learn to.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:23:27 AM EDT
[#25]
For those whos children do say Sir/Ma'am: Do they say it out of sincerity or rote?
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:28:35 AM EDT
[#26]
I am willing to bet the latter. That follows my original contribution to this thread too. Making them say it with threat of violence is bullshit. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:28:42 AM EDT
[#27]
I dont say it, never have in my life. Im respectful, always say please or thank you, always hold the door the a woman, or anyone who's about to come through it... But I was never did catch on to the whole "Yes Sir" or "Yes Maam" thing.
The only time I've ever seen anybody say it is when they are being corrected, by an "adult" or someone older then them, or someone like a LEO, (OR THEIR BOSS). IMO it sounds like something from the whole slave era, and reminds me of a "Yes I will do what you say because you are better then me" type of thing. But im a pretty quiet person, if someone doesnt like me or thinks less of me because I dont say it they dont deserve respect anyways. Also take into account most people who say "YS and YM" usually turn their back on that person and are cursing them. So when I have kids I wont make them say it, I dont see the point. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:33:08 AM EDT
[#28]
i voted yes becuase im gonna do it with my kids. My parents dont make me say it (im 17) but I say it anyway, always.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:56:53 AM EDT
[#29]
90% of adults don't deserve the title, "sir," or "Ma'am." My children will be taught respect, but not at all costs. Last thing I want is little Johnny calling some liberal hippy "sir."
As for in the family titles, "mom" and "dad" will be more than appropriate. There were very few people who I called Sir or Ma'am growing up. Those people had earned my respect (yes, as a child I was taught that respect is earned - not throwing titles at worthless scumbags because they were simply older had a lot to do with that). Remember, all men are NOT created equal. Men are called by the title they EARN. Matt |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:58:28 AM EDT
[#30]
The 'threat of violence' is to ensure that they're behavior is consistent when young because they don't have the ability to reason yet. After a few years of training, it just becomes normal to them and they don't even think about what they're doing and why. After they become older, someone will mention it and they will then think about it with, hopefully, a little more wisdom/understanding and it will continue into adulthood because they 'get it'. Once this happens, violence is no longer necessary or appropriate and shame becomes the method of control. Consistent, controlled violence is the oldest and still the best method for training young children/dogs. That being said, the keyword in the previous sentence is consistent. Your behavior when instructing is just as critical if not more so than what you teach. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 9:58:42 AM EDT
[#31]
Attitude is more important than words.
Sir or Ma'am makes me feel like I am being a hard ass. As long as their attitude is respectful we will be fine. My dad was a hard ass pastor and I hated it and din't respect him because it was hyppocritical. If I respect my kids and they respect me we will be fine. As soon as I start coming down on them for stupid crap they will start disrespecting me and it will becomce a battle of wills. I don't want that with my kids. do what I say and here is the reason why. Not just because I or God said so. My 2 pennies. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:06:10 AM EDT
[#32]
Women don't seem too particularly fond of "Ma'am" today. I use "Ms." instead, and it appears to work.
Hell yea on the "Yes sir!." That's how a man is to be addressed. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:08:16 AM EDT
[#33]
I don't remember being scared of the boogy man, but I still was at some point. And it probably wasn't fun. Just because the child doesn't remember being afraid not to say Sir and Ma'am long after the fact doesn't mean it's OK. You can teach a kid respect without threatening them. Teach them why they should take care of and have fondness for their fellow man rather than instilling fear. Not only does it save the kid from having to be afraid of their own parents, it also works a lot better. I was able to understand right from wrong when I was 5 yrs old and I was also able to understand why one should be nice to others. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:11:45 AM EDT
[#34]
Mine are 25 years old and 23 years old. They still say yes sir and yes mam.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:14:45 AM EDT
[#35]
Couldn't agree more. However, can you reasonably expect a young child to understand that and moreover, decide with any level of competency, who has and who hasn't earned it? Personally, I'd rather they just default to polite behavior until they've reached an age where they're able understand and then let them do what they will. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:30:31 AM EDT
[#36]
Very true... I live in the rural south where (for the most part) social graces are the norm. My children say sir and ma'am, and so do I with folks who are significantly older than I am. I have explained to my children that good manners are simply a "social lubricant" that makes everyone feel more pleasant and costs you nothing in return. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:32:17 AM EDT
[#37]
Mine just say 'Are you going to give me some money or not you grumpy old bastard'
ANdy |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:34:25 AM EDT
[#38]
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:45:29 AM EDT
[#39]
Same here, to the point that it used to bug my ex-wife when I would say "Yes/No Ma'm" in response to her. I was just my natural response after years of programing. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 10:48:54 AM EDT
[#40]
For me it's both. It's my natural trained response, but I believe it it the correct and civil way to deal with people. I learned from my father that treating people with the highest respect (until they show they don't deserve that respect) reaps huge benefits for everyone involved. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:03:35 AM EDT
[#41]
"There're only two ways you answer me: 'Yes Dad' or 'Yes Sir'"
"Yes Sir" Please and thank you are mandatory. I don't like to have to remind them to say it to an adult (though it is rare). Most times, the parents in the neighborhood compliment my wife on our kids great manners when they are visiting other kids. It pisses me off to no end when other parent insist my kid call them by their first names. It's completely contrary to what I am trying to teach them. Everybody thinks they have to be my five-year-old's slightly-older friend.  When I was 9 or 10, some friends of ours called my parents by their first names while we were over visiting.  They did it once. Before we left, my brother and I climbed down their throats, and made it very, very clear it must never happen again. It never did. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:08:29 AM EDT
[#42]
If I had kids I wouldn't. They would know respect, but sir / ma'am to their PARENTS only seems to make them, in my mind, more "further away". Hard to explain.
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:09:45 AM EDT
[#43]
+1. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:17:18 AM EDT
[#44]
+1 
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:20:36 AM EDT
[#45]
Several years ago a fine Texas family was making their kids call adults Mr/Mrs/Miss. I was fresh out of the service and was young enough so I felt that being addressed as Mister Piccolo made me feel old.
I discussed it with his dad, and saw his point, yet still didn't want to be called Mister Piccolo. He asked me my old rank, and instead of explaining the Sp/5 crap to him, I said I had been a sergeant. To that kid I became Sergeant Piccolo until the family left town a few years later. A pretty good compromise if you ask me. I didn't feel like an old fogey, and the kid learned a little something about respect. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:22:05 AM EDT
[#46]
i was not taught to use sir and ma'am, but i was taught to be respectful to ALL adults
i was taught to call adults by a title (Aunt Mary, Uncle John or Mr and Mrs Smith) i started using sir and ma'am as a teenager, when i was working, because people expected it from me--bosses AND customers--i still use it at work since im am an adult now, my family and my parents' friends usually insist i call them by their first names instead or Mr and Mrs and i try, but its still hard for me because they are my elders and are not MY friends, KWIM? respect is about attitude and demeanor, not the words you use YMMV |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:25:46 AM EDT
[#47]
I tend to think along these default lines myself. At a young age, they are often unable to see the difference, and besides it looks tacky seeing a 10 year old call someone 'shithead' even if he deserves it. |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:27:01 AM EDT
[#48]
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:32:54 AM EDT
[#49]
I agree. For me growing up, close friends of my parents weren't Mr and Mrs So and so, they were Uncle So and so and Auntie So and so, never just So and so. I grew up in the UK and we're not big on the Sir and ma'am stuff over there, but when I went to work here, I knew enough to use it when necessary. We insist on good manners and respectful behavior in our children. It's not a hard thing to teach if you lead by example. I won't have my children be the ones people are looking at in stores or restraunts thinking WTF?? |
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Posted: 8/26/2006 11:36:06 AM EDT
[#50]
I don't inforce or expect it 24/7, but they are to say at times when I think(and they know), they're supposed to. When verbally reprimanded, talking to elderly or higher authority, etc... Good enough for me.
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