Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Posted: 1/18/2006 4:26:39 PM EDT
UNLESS YOU HAVE WALKED A BEAT JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, CAUSE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!!

<­BR>

Relax, it's just a joke
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:34:24 PM EDT
You are generalizing,a ban should follow shortly.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:41:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TrijiCog:
You are generalizing,a ban should follow shortly.



Either you are joking, or you have no sense of humor
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:42:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:

Originally Posted By TrijiCog:
You are generalizing,a ban should follow shortly.



Either you are joking, or you have no sense of humor


He has no sense of humor.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:47:55 PM EDT
A SWAT team to break down the door, shoot the dog, beat the owners, ransack the house then one guy to come in and screw the bulb into the socket all before the place is burnt to the ground.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:48:35 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/18/2006 4:49:15 PM EDT by XDBACKUPGUN]
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:51:20 PM EDT
1 to change the bulb

<­BR>





1 to make the warrantless, illegal, no-knock break-in
1 to shoot your dog
1 to confiscate all your guns

Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:52:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SPECTRE:
A SWAT team to break down the door, shoot the dog, beat the owners, ransack the house then one guy to come in and screw the bulb into the socket all before the place is burnt to the ground.


Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:54:21 PM EDT
The dog used to change the bulbs...

But alas, he is gone now.


GM
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:58:00 PM EDT

Originally Posted By goodmedicine:
The dog used to change the bulbs...

But alas, he is gone now.


GM




Don't worry, it was for the children.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:59:43 PM EDT
1 to put the light in.

But then there's a crowd of 17 bystanders, that were there when the light went out, that complain the new light is too bright, the old light was manhandled, the cop took too long to change it, made a face that insulted someone as he changed it, shouldn't have let it go out in the first place, put the new bulb in too tightly, would've changed it more quickly if the socket was in a better neighborhood.............................................

Yet none of them have ever changed a light, nor would they if given the opportunity.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:00:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/18/2006 5:00:53 PM EDT by LonePathfinder]
1 to take the call at the station
1 to order a car to do a drive by
1 to supervise the car doing the drive by
1 to take neighbors statements about the burned out bulbs in that guys house
1 guy to call swat
1 negociator to talk the burnt bulb out of the socket
1 swat guy to break the door
1 swat guy to throw a flash bang
2 swat guys to jerk each other off behind the house as security
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel right, missing the dog
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel left, missing the now two dogs
1 swat guy to enter the house and shoot at the dogs and miss
1 swat guy to enter the house and go full auto on the dogs and kill them
4 cops to rope off the block while the op is going down
4 medics on standbye
2 city workers to shut off the power
1 bomb disposal guy to look at the burnt out bulb
1 bomb disposal guy who is sitting at the truck hitting on the hot chick medic
1 bomb disposal guy looking over the first bomb disposal guys shoulder looking at the bulb
1 bomb disposal guy to un screw the light bulb
1 private contractor to provide a new bulb
1 private contractor, freshly back from Iraq to screw in the bulb

Did I miss anyone?
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:00:31 PM EDT
Nice take on an old Vietnam vet joke.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:06:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By OLY-M4gery:
1 to put the light in.

But then there's a crowd of 17 bystanders, that were there when the light went out, that complain the new light is too bright, the old light was manhandled, the cop took too long to change it, made a face that insulted someone as he changed it, shouldn't have let it go out in the first place, put the new bulb in too tightly, would've changed it more quickly if the socket was in a better neighborhood.............................................

Yet none of them have ever changed a light, nor would they if given the opportunity.



How true.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:06:25 PM EDT
where's the thread about how many arfcomers it takes to change a light bulb
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:07:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By thedoctors308:
Nice take on an old Vietnam vet joke.



Yeah, I loved the Vietnam Veteran joke so I adapted it for the forum.

My favorite cop joke is the one I picked up from Sherrick13 (himself a cop). I'll save that one for another time though.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:09:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By jmzd4:
where's the thread about how many arfcomers it takes to change a light bulb



Change it?????????????????? Pfffffffft

We are going to tannerite it in place, and put 3 new receptacles in it's place, including one with a motion sensor, and a golden rod..............................................
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:10:36 PM EDT
Does the light bulb have on rollerskates???
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:14:01 PM EDT
Who needs a lightbulb when you got a Maglite?
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:15:02 PM EDT
Hahahahahahahah..........are you old enough to own a handgun yet????
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:18:50 PM EDT
at least 3

you need to get a sarge there to supervise, then you need someone to video tape the incident for liability reasons. And of course the guy that changes the bulb.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:26:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By LonePathfinder:
1 to take the call at the station
1 to order a car to do a drive by
1 to supervise the car doing the drive by
1 to take neighbors statements about the burned out bulbs in that guys house
1 guy to call swat
1 negociator to talk the burnt bulb out of the socket
1 swat guy to break the door
1 swat guy to throw a flash bang
2 swat guys to jerk each other off behind the house as security
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel right, missing the dog
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel left, missing the now two dogs
1 swat guy to enter the house and shoot at the dogs and miss
1 swat guy to enter the house and go full auto on the dogs and kill them
4 cops to rope off the block while the op is going down
4 medics on standbye
2 city workers to shut off the power
1 bomb disposal guy to look at the burnt out bulb
1 bomb disposal guy who is sitting at the truck hitting on the hot chick medic
1 bomb disposal guy looking over the first bomb disposal guys shoulder looking at the bulb
1 bomb disposal guy to un screw the light bulb
1 private contractor to provide a new bulb
1 private contractor, freshly back from Iraq to screw in the bulb

Did I miss anyone?

And at least a dozen TV reporters to get everything wrong.

I'll let somebody else do the local newspapers.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:32:24 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TxLawDog:
Hahahahahahahah..........are you old enough to own a handgun yet????



You mean 18? Yeah.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:32:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By LonePathfinder:
1 to take the call at the station
1 to order a car to do a drive by
1 to supervise the car doing the drive by
1 to take neighbors statements about the burned out bulbs in that guys house
1 guy to call swat
1 negociator to talk the burnt bulb out of the socket
1 swat guy to break the door
1 swat guy to throw a flash bang
2 swat guys to jerk each other off behind the house as security
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel right, missing the dog
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel left, missing the now two dogs
1 swat guy to enter the house and shoot at the dogs and miss
1 swat guy to enter the house and go full auto on the dogs and kill them
4 cops to rope off the block while the op is going down
4 medics on standbye
2 city workers to shut off the power
1 bomb disposal guy to look at the burnt out bulb
1 bomb disposal guy who is sitting at the truck hitting on the hot chick medic
1 bomb disposal guy looking over the first bomb disposal guys shoulder looking at the bulb
1 bomb disposal guy to un screw the light bulb
1 private contractor to provide a new bulb
1 private contractor, freshly back from Iraq to screw in the bulb

Did I miss anyone?




Yeah. Where's the K-9 Officer???
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:39:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TxLawDog:
Hahahahahahahah..........are you old enough to own a handgun yet????




Almost. However he needs a job first.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:40:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By GiggleSmith:

Originally Posted By LonePathfinder:
1 to take the call at the station
1 to order a car to do a drive by
1 to supervise the car doing the drive by
1 to take neighbors statements about the burned out bulbs in that guys house
1 guy to call swat
1 negociator to talk the burnt bulb out of the socket
1 swat guy to break the door
1 swat guy to throw a flash bang
2 swat guys to jerk each other off behind the house as security
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel right, missing the dog
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel left, missing the now two dogs
1 swat guy to enter the house and shoot at the dogs and miss
1 swat guy to enter the house and go full auto on the dogs and kill them
4 cops to rope off the block while the op is going down
4 medics on standbye
2 city workers to shut off the power
1 bomb disposal guy to look at the burnt out bulb
1 bomb disposal guy who is sitting at the truck hitting on the hot chick medic
1 bomb disposal guy looking over the first bomb disposal guys shoulder looking at the bulb
1 bomb disposal guy to un screw the light bulb
1 private contractor to provide a new bulb
1 private contractor, freshly back from Iraq to screw in the bulb

Did I miss anyone?

And at least a dozen TV reporters to get everything wrong.

I'll let somebody else do the local newspapers.



You forgot to send someone for the donuts!!!
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:46:34 PM EDT
Who forgot the attornies to make sure that the lightbulb's rights weren't violated when it was removed from it's socket?
How about the "cops" video guy to film all the "action?"
Where was the state atty to throw as many charges he/she can find in the statute book at the bulb, when in fact it was only guilty of being burnt out?
Where was the civil rights advocate to make a big deal about every little aspect of the light bulb changing operation, and comment on the makeup of the changing team, what the team wore, and loosely associate the operation with the lack of civil rights for their minority group?
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:53:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:

Originally Posted By TxLawDog:
Hahahahahahahah..........are you old enough to own a handgun yet????



You mean 18? Yeah.



Happy birthday! Now get a job.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 5:59:12 PM EDT
We still need someone to point out that laws forcing light bulbs to be changed without their consent are unconstitutional, because after all, they aren't hurting anyone else by being burned out in the first place. These laws are just another form of the .gov intruding in people's lives and all cops should be ashamed to enforce these laws.

We also need someone to protest in favor of mandatory light bulb changing laws, not to get their own faces on the news, but for the children.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 6:09:13 PM EDT
If they'd just legalize the light bulbs, for gosh sakes...
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 6:12:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FatCobra:

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:

Originally Posted By TxLawDog:
Hahahahahahahah..........are you old enough to own a handgun yet????



You mean 18? Yeah.



Happy birthday! Now get a job.



Is there a problem? I won't address this post because I have decided that I will no longer share my personal life with every clown who has access to a modem.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 6:12:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/18/2006 6:13:08 PM EDT by fla556guy]
Well, aren't they legal, but you have to register it and recieve a tax stamp for any bulb over 100 wats with the HWLBA? (High Wattage Light Bulb Administration)?
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 6:13:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By GiggleSmith:

Originally Posted By LonePathfinder:
1 to take the call at the station
1 to order a car to do a drive by
1 to supervise the car doing the drive by
1 to take neighbors statements about the burned out bulbs in that guys house
1 guy to call swat
1 negociator to talk the burnt bulb out of the socket
1 swat guy to break the door
1 swat guy to throw a flash bang
2 swat guys to jerk each other off behind the house as security
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel right, missing the dog
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel left, missing the now two dogs
1 swat guy to enter the house and shoot at the dogs and miss
1 swat guy to enter the house and go full auto on the dogs and kill them
4 cops to rope off the block while the op is going down
4 medics on standbye
2 city workers to shut off the power
1 bomb disposal guy to look at the burnt out bulb
1 bomb disposal guy who is sitting at the truck hitting on the hot chick medic
1 bomb disposal guy looking over the first bomb disposal guys shoulder looking at the bulb
1 bomb disposal guy to un screw the light bulb
1 private contractor to provide a new bulb
1 private contractor, freshly back from Iraq to screw in the bulb

Did I miss anyone?

And at least a dozen TV reporters to get everything wrong.

I'll let somebody else do the local newspapers.



1 senetor and countless crazed liberals to ban the "assault bulbs" for the children
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 6:15:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By GiggleSmith:

Originally Posted By LonePathfinder:
1 to take the call at the station
1 to order a car to do a drive by
1 to supervise the car doing the drive by
1 to take neighbors statements about the burned out bulbs in that guys house
1 guy to call swat
1 negociator to talk the burnt bulb out of the socket
1 swat guy to break the door
1 swat guy to throw a flash bang
2 swat guys to jerk each other off behind the house as security
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel right, missing the dog
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel left, missing the now two dogs
1 swat guy to enter the house and shoot at the dogs and miss
1 swat guy to enter the house and go full auto on the dogs and kill them
4 cops to rope off the block while the op is going down
4 medics on standbye
2 city workers to shut off the power
1 bomb disposal guy to look at the burnt out bulb
1 bomb disposal guy who is sitting at the truck hitting on the hot chick medic
1 bomb disposal guy looking over the first bomb disposal guys shoulder looking at the bulb
1 bomb disposal guy to un screw the light bulb
1 private contractor to provide a new bulb
1 private contractor, freshly back from Iraq to screw in the bulb

Did I miss anyone?

And at least a dozen TV reporters to get everything wrong.

I'll let somebody else do the local newspapers.



1 senetor(sp?) and countless crazed liberals to ban the "assault bulbs" for the children
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 7:02:43 PM EDT
[feinswine] Since all you need is a 5 watt bulb to see, anything over 5 watts is considered "assault lightage" and all photons emitted from such illumination devices shall bear a permanent serial number so they can be more easily tracked by the federal government. [/feinswine]
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 7:17:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/18/2006 7:32:34 PM EDT by NeedMoreAmmo]

Originally Posted By jmzd4:
where's the thread about how many arfcomers it takes to change a light bulb



2 snipers out about 1500m with 50s to keep unauthorized bulbs from infiltrating
8 snipers out 500m with more 50s on each compass point to watch for zombies
10 guys with Bushmasters and 10 more with Colts who spend all their time arguing and never get near the bulb
100 guys with ARs and AKs to cordon off the block with a belt fed on each intersection (zombies again)
50 guys with ARs and AKs to surround the house (zombies are sneaky)
10 guys who argue whether to shoot the dogs or hug them and never get near the bulb
6 sandbox vets to do an entry
1 sniper out at 300m to take out the old bulb with a 50
1 guy to change out the bulb
1 guy to look at the bulb and declare it is a duplicate of the burned out bulb next door
1 guy to describe the bulb in a grammatically correct manner
20 guys to bring the kegs for after the op
20 more to carry the ammo

and 1 38 year old slob to sit on the couch eating pizza and say "Back when I was on Seal Team 6 in VN we didn't change the bulbs because Charlie had them all booby trapped"
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 7:25:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NeedMoreAmmo:

Originally Posted By jmzd4:
where's the thread about how many arfcomers it takes to change a light bulb



2 snipers out about 1500m with 50s to keep unauthorized bulbs from infiltrating
8 snipers out 500m with more 50s on each compass point to watch for zombies
10 guys with Bushmasters and 10 more with Colts who spend all their time arguing and never get near the bulb
100 guys with ARs and AKs to cordon off the block with a belt fed on each intersection (zombies again)
50 guys with ARs and AKs to surround the house (zombies are sneaky)
10 guys who argue whether to shoot the dogs or hug them and never get near the bulb
6 sandbox vets to do an entry
1 sniper out at 300m to take out the old bulb with a 50
1 guy to change out the bulb
20 guys to bring the kegs for after the op
20 more to carry the ammo

and 1 38 year old slob to sit on the couch eating pizza and say "Back when I was on Seal Team 6 in VN we didn't change the bulbs because Charlie had them all booby trapped"



You forgot the Dupe Police and Grammar Nazis
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:54:43 AM EDT

Posted by QuantumPion


1 to make the warrantless, illegal, no-knock break-in
1 to shoot your dog
1 to confiscate all your guns



This is arfcom, better bring 6 guys and a big truck to confiscate the guns.

Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:02:35 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/19/2006 6:04:40 AM EDT by Motor05]
.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:04:27 AM EDT

Originally Posted By OLY-M4gery:
1 to put the light in.

But then there's a crowd of 17 bystanders, that were there when the light went out, that complain the new light is too bright, the old light was manhandled, the cop took too long to change it, made a face that insulted someone as he changed it, shouldn't have let it go out in the first place, put the new bulb in too tightly, would've changed it more quickly if the socket was in a better neighborhood.............................................

Yet none of them have ever changed a light, nor would they if given the opportunity.



Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:08:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LonePathfinder:
1 to take the call at the station
1 to order a car to do a drive by
1 to supervise the car doing the drive by
1 to take neighbors statements about the burned out bulbs in that guys house
1 guy to call swat
1 negociator to talk the burnt bulb out of the socket
1 swat guy to break the door
1 swat guy to throw a flash bang
2 swat guys to jerk each other off behind the house as security
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel right, missing the dog
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel left, missing the now two dogs
1 swat guy to enter the house and shoot at the dogs and miss
1 swat guy to enter the house and go full auto on the dogs and kill them
4 cops to rope off the block while the op is going down
4 medics on standbye
2 city workers to shut off the power
1 bomb disposal guy to look at the burnt out bulb
1 bomb disposal guy who is sitting at the truck hitting on the hot chick medic
1 bomb disposal guy looking over the first bomb disposal guys shoulder looking at the bulb
1 bomb disposal guy to un screw the light bulb
1 private contractor to provide a new bulb
1 private contractor, freshly back from Iraq to screw in the bulb

Did I miss anyone?



You forgot the Police Chief who has to explain to the family that the bulb listed on the warrant was actually in the house across the street
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:10:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By EKLYPSE:

Originally Posted By GiggleSmith:

Originally Posted By LonePathfinder:
1 to take the call at the station
1 to order a car to do a drive by
1 to supervise the car doing the drive by
1 to take neighbors statements about the burned out bulbs in that guys house
1 guy to call swat
1 negociator to talk the burnt bulb out of the socket
1 swat guy to break the door
1 swat guy to throw a flash bang
2 swat guys to jerk each other off behind the house as security
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel right, missing the dog
1 swat guy to enter the house and peel left, missing the now two dogs
1 swat guy to enter the house and shoot at the dogs and miss
1 swat guy to enter the house and go full auto on the dogs and kill them
4 cops to rope off the block while the op is going down
4 medics on standbye
2 city workers to shut off the power
1 bomb disposal guy to look at the burnt out bulb
1 bomb disposal guy who is sitting at the truck hitting on the hot chick medic
1 bomb disposal guy looking over the first bomb disposal guys shoulder looking at the bulb
1 bomb disposal guy to un screw the light bulb
1 private contractor to provide a new bulb
1 private contractor, freshly back from Iraq to screw in the bulb

Did I miss anyone?

And at least a dozen TV reporters to get everything wrong.

I'll let somebody else do the local newspapers.



1 senetor(sp?) and countless crazed liberals to ban the "assault bulbs" for the children



20 tree huggin protesters because you didn't use a High-efficiency Fluorescent replacement bulb
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:10:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By goodmedicine:
The dog used to change the bulbs...

But alas, he is gone now.


GM

Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:10:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/19/2006 6:11:47 AM EDT by blacklisted]
I'm no cop but in my city it takes every single officer and every car. They only bring out the SUVs on special occasions. Almost all the officers I have met here have been friendly. Except the evil guy with a lazy eye, but I wont get in to that.

Humorous story: when I was in Junior High, there was going to be a fight between two girls after school. Each one had a posse of angry yelling hormonal females surround her and they started walking to the park. I was going that way so I thought I would check it out. All they were doing is shouting insults so I started to leave (I was about 50 yards away at the time) when all the cops in the city make a tactical entrance to the park (driving their cars in from each entrance and corner). I was already running near an exit at this time and one stopped and asked me what was going on. I told him two girls were fighting, and he said "cool" and drove over there. About 40 minutes later most of them were still there and they were talking about knives. :D
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:14:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Motor05:

Originally Posted By OLY-M4gery:
1 to put the light in.

But then there's a crowd of 17 bystanders, that were there when the light went out, that complain the new light is too bright, the old light was manhandled, the cop took too long to change it, made a face that insulted someone as he changed it, shouldn't have let it go out in the first place, put the new bulb in too tightly, would've changed it more quickly if the socket was in a better neighborhood.............................................

Yet none of them have ever changed a light, nor would they if given the opportunity.






Not to mention the ones that:

Claim that the bulb was "turning it's life around".
Yell "I pay your salary", for no discernible reason.
Claim that the bulb was good, but fell in with the wrong crowd.................
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:54:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By sydney7629:
You forgot the Police Chief who has to explain to the family that the bulb listed on the warrant was actually in the house across the street


Link Posted: 1/19/2006 8:09:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By OLY-M4gery:

Originally Posted By Motor05:

Originally Posted By OLY-M4gery:
1 to put the light in.

But then there's a crowd of 17 bystanders, that were there when the light went out, that complain the new light is too bright, the old light was manhandled, the cop took too long to change it, made a face that insulted someone as he changed it, shouldn't have let it go out in the first place, put the new bulb in too tightly, would've changed it more quickly if the socket was in a better neighborhood.............................................

Yet none of them have ever changed a light, nor would they if given the opportunity.






Not to mention the ones that:

Claim that the bulb was "turning it's life around".
Yell "I pay your salary", for no discernible reason.
Claim that the bulb was good, but fell in with the wrong crowd.................



We have one of those in one of the other cop threads.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 8:12:25 AM EDT
None, it turned itself in.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 9:01:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/19/2006 9:01:44 AM EDT by TomJefferson]
Top Top