How do you stealthily kill a tree?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How do you stealthily kill a tree? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:08:42 PM EDT

I have a couple of view offending trees that need to be removed. Unfortunately, they are on a county rite of way. No way is the county going to let me top them for view enhancement. I could girdle them, but that is to obvious. Is there something that I could put into a 3/4-1" augered hole in the base of the tree that will for sure kill it?

It's too close to the house to nuke it form orbit.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:09:51 PM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
I have a couple of view offending trees that need to be removed. Unfortunately, they are on a county rite of way. No way is the county going to let me top them for view enhancement. I could girdle them, but that is to obvious. Is there something that I could put into a 3/4-1" augered hole in the base of the tree that will for sure kill it?

It's too close to the house to nuke it form orbit.

tannerite should fit into that hole quite nicely.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:10:18 PM EDT

[#2]

Dig to the roots and sprinkle a shitload of Triox concentrate on 'em.

Give them a few weeks to die, then offer to remove the remains.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:10:27 PM EDT

[#3]

Nuke it from orbit....

the only way to be sure

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:10:33 PM EDT

[#4]

I've heard milk injected into a tree will kill it or just pour chlorine at the base of it and bury a couple of chlorine tabs at the base of it.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:10:36 PM EDT

[#5]

Copper nails in the roots.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:12:00 PM EDT

[#6]

lots of salt.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:12:23 PM EDT

[#7]

Have you asked the county?

If they ain't on your property......hmmmm

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:12:51 PM EDT

[#8]

Fuck that they aren't your trees so leave them alone.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:14:08 PM EDT

[#9]

Chainsaw while wearing a ghillie suit?

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:15:02 PM EDT

[#10]

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:15:39 PM EDT

[#11]

1. buy a cheep/old truck.
2. run to 75 MPH.
3. hit trees.
4. collect insurance.

win/win

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:15:52 PM EDT

[#12]

Gridle them with one of those wire saws... Like the ones they sell for emergancies.. You usually can't see the cut..

everything else takes too long

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:15:54 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Chainsaw while wearing a ghillie suit?

+1, I hear if you put a 2 liter bottle on the end it's just like a silencer.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:16:57 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Fuck that, they aren't your trees so leave them alone.

Quoted:
Fuck that. They aren't your trees so leave them alone.

Punctuation is your friend.

I have considered your advice. I have moved past it now.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:17:59 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Chainsaw while wearing a ghillie suit?

+1, I hear if you put a 2 liter bottle on the end it's just like a silencer.

On the end of a chainsaw?

Rip off piece of bark, drill hole into tree, insert poison, cover with removed piece of bark.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:18:30 PM EDT

[#16]

Just get a couple of your buddies together, cut them down, and clean up your mess all in one day. No one is going to know that you aren't supposed to be taking the trees down and most likely no one will care. Unless there are a lot of other houses around you and people use those trees.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:19:40 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Chainsaw while wearing a ghillie suit?

LMAO

The visual made me laugh out loud.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:24:24 PM EDT

[#18]

I'd leave em alone.

Kill trees that don't belong to you? It's people like you that poisoned the Treaty Oak here in Austin. If you do it, I hope they arrest your ass.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:25:47 PM EDT

[#19]

A nice dose of copper sulfate.
At 3:30 AM of course.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:26:37 PM EDT

[#20]

Not a bad idea. Be obvious. Wear orange road construction vests.

Quoted:
Just get a couple of your buddies together, cut them down, and clean up your mess all in one day. No one is going to know that you aren't supposed to be taking the trees down and most likely no one will care. Unless there are a lot of other houses around you and people use those trees.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:29:39 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Chainsaw while wearing a ghillie suit?

Good one!!!!!

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:31:11 PM EDT

[#22]

Someone did what you are thinking for the same exact reason and got caught.
Hefty fines and jail time were part of the package.
Google tree killer

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:31:30 PM EDT

[#23]

Call the county. IME the county is usually pretty good about these kinds of things. They do have a vested interest in the value of properties after all. Also there is usually a community developement center you could call to find info on it. If all else fails you could just top them and pay the fine.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:32:50 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
I'd leave em alone.

Kill trees that don't belong to you? It's people like you that poisoned the Treaty Oak here in Austin. If you do it, I hope they arrest your ass.

Only a small handfull of tree huggers so far? I'm dissapointed.

It's a bummer that someone killed the last tree in Austin. However, around here there are no lack of trees. In fact, trees have been known to cause a lot of damage during wind storms. Something you don't have to worry about in Austin. I have seen the scrub that pass for trees there.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:34:33 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Someone did what you are thinking for the same exact reason and got caught.
Hefty fines and jail time were part of the package.

A good friend of mine right down the road with a spectacular view of Seattle came home to find the trees in his back yard topped and there wasn't much other than a fine that he could do to the guy building the house behind him. In the end he said it wasn't worth the hastle.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:38:07 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I'd leave em alone.

Kill trees that don't belong to you? It's people like you that poisoned the Treaty Oak here in Austin. If you do it, I hope they arrest your ass.

Only a small handfull of tree huggers so far? I'm dissapointed.

It's a bummer that someone killed the last tree in Austin. However, around here there are no lack of trees. In fact, trees have been known to cause a lot of damage during wind storms. Something you don't have to worry about in Austin. I have seen the scrub that pass for trees there.

www.cis.usouthal.edu/~mckinney/TreeOnHouseBigPicture.JPG

I don't think "treehuggers" is the real issue here. You are asking people on this forum to abet you in an act you already know to be illegal as they are not on your property and pretty much stated you "don't think" the county will do anything, yet have not asked to find out.......

How do expect people to react?

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:40:55 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Someone did what you are thinking for the same exact reason and got caught.
Hefty fines and jail time were part of the package.

A good friend of mine right down the road with a spectacular view of Seattle came home to find the trees in his back yard topped and there wasn't much other than a fine that he could do to the guy building the house behind him. In the end he said it wasn't worth the hastle.

I suspect that a county could administer much more of a spanking than an individual could.

In the end, I may just let it ride. I don't know yet. It would be nice to have them topped/gone though.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:42:14 PM EDT

[#28]

I've heard that Amazonian tribesmen will wake up just before dawn and go out to trees and scream, yell and curse at the top of their lungs.

The trees would die in a short amount of time. I guess they lose the will to live.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:42:32 PM EDT

[#29]

Try a mating pair of beavers. That should work.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:44:09 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Someone did what you are thinking for the same exact reason and got caught.
Hefty fines and jail time were part of the package.

A good friend of mine right down the road with a spectacular view of Seattle came home to find the trees in his back yard topped and there wasn't much other than a fine that he could do to the guy building the house behind him. In the end he said it wasn't worth the hastle.

when the tree huggers find out they can raise a stink.
I don't think theres anything wrong with chopping down trees but only if they are on your property

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:44:45 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:

How do expect people to react?

Just as they have. And the ratios are just as I figured. I'm suprised at the amount or quick responses though.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:47:02 PM EDT

[#32]

Nothing says "stealthy tree killing" like flushing some Tordon into the sewer pipes.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:48:03 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I'd leave em alone.

Kill trees that don't belong to you? It's people like you that poisoned the Treaty Oak here in Austin. If you do it, I hope they arrest your ass.

Only a small handfull of tree huggers so far? I'm dissapointed.

It's a bummer that someone killed the last tree in Austin. However, around here there are no lack of trees. In fact, trees have been known to cause a lot of damage during wind storms. Something you don't have to worry about in Austin. I have seen the scrub that pass for trees there.

www.geeksrus.com/albums/tree/Images/CRW_3219.jpg

Yeah. Tree hugger. That's me.

Google "Treaty Oak Austin" before you show your ass again.

And regardless, what you are thinking of doing is illegal. And I hope you end up in prison if you actually do it.

Have a nice day!

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:52:30 PM EDT

[#34]

Obtain the following: a steel trashcan, a suitable length of rope, and a large, live beaver.

Place said beaver into trashcan and firmly attach the beaver/trashcan assembly to the tree using the rope. Be sure that the open end of the trashcan is against the base of the tree.

Next, begin to gently apply heat to the trashcan using a torch or small fire depending on the liveliness of the beaver.

The heat should inspire the beaver to escape from the trashcan through the path of least resistance (the unwanted tree). Repeat as necessary.

Tip: Avoid angry, escaping beaver.

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:56:47 PM EDT

[#35]

Get yourself a "helper" (accomplice), get two orange hard hats, two orange vests, rent ONE orange truck, get a nice tree murderin' chainsaw and pretend to be a county worker. Leave cut up wood behind (there IS a logic to THAT) for the community to "steal". Drive away... return truck, ditch orange hardhats and vests. Crime complete!

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:57:00 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Obtain the following: a steel trashcan, a suitable length of rope, and a large, live beaver.

Place said beaver into trashcan and firmly attach the beaver/trashcan assembly to the tree using the rope. Be sure that the open end of the trashcan is against the base of the tree.

Next, begin to gently apply heat to the trashcan using a torch or small fire depending on the liveliness of the beaver.

The heat should inspire the beaver to escape from the trashcan through the path of least resistance (the unwanted tree). Repeat as necessary.

Tip: Avoid angry, escaping beaver.

Not very practical, but you get double bonus points for creativity!

Posted: 2/23/2006 6:58:39 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

And regardless, what you are thinking of doing is illegal. And I hope you end up in prison if you actually do it.

Have a nice day!

\

WOW. Prison time, stuck for a year or more in a cell for cutting down a couple of trees. I can imagine it now:
Brutus Buttslammin' Cellmate (convicted rapist): What're you in for, fish?
HABU: I cut down two trees.
Brutus Buttslammer: silence, followed by sounds of forced anal sex.

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:05:01 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:Just wow. Prison? Not just jail? Prison's a year or more sentence you know, that's pretty fucking harsh. He's not talking about deforesting anything, just cutting down a couple of trees that are most likely weeds. Yes, I said it, weeds. A weed is a plant out of place. Don't give me this "let trees grow where they will." More than likely the trees he's talking about were just far enough away from the road on the right of way that the county didn't want to waste the time taking them out while they made the road, either that or they were too little to notice. I'd be willing to bet that if he cut the trees down discreetly, cleaned up the mess and burnt out the stumps nobody would ever know, much less care enough to push for a felony conviction to get him in PRISON.

The guy that poisoned the Treaty Oak? The jury could have given him LIFE in prison. He ended up with nine years.

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:06:34 PM EDT

[#39]

According to legend, this live oak stood as a witness to a treaty between Indians and the Anglo settlers. The man representing the settlers was reputed to be none other than the "Father of Texas" Stephen F. Austin himself. There has been no hard evidence that any such treaty took place - but it makes a good story - and it may have helped save the tree.

These trees are not hallowed like the Treaty Oak was. They are common Doug Fir that are surrounded by thousands of others just like them. No one will mourn them and someone will get paid to remove them at no extra cost to anyone. Win/win.

ETA link:treaty oak

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:07:11 PM EDT

[#40]

tag

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:09:55 PM EDT

[#41]

Ring them 360 degrees

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:11:23 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Copper nails in the roots.

+1

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:12:26 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
These trees are not hallowed like the Treaty Oak was. They are common Doug Fir that are surrounded by thousands of others just like them. No one will mourn them and someone will get paid to remove them at no extra cost to anyone. Win/win.

I have a couple of view offending trees that need to be removed. Unfortunately, they are on a county rite of way. No way is the county going to let me top them for view enhancement.

Alrighty then.

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:13:59 PM EDT

[#44]

roundup poured into a borehole

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:15:57 PM EDT

[#45]

Near the bottom cut the bark about and inch wide around the whole trunk. Itll die off before too long.

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:17:08 PM EDT

[#46]

answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=360604

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:37:01 PM EDT

[#47]

Once I ringed a small pine in the middle of a large, undeveloped tract of land. My work duties took me by it once every few weeks.

The sucker never did die, and I ringed it GOOD. To clear wood with a ring over an inch wide, all the way around.

I guess pines are different or something.

CJ

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:42:02 PM EDT

[#48]

Too funny...

You wanna kill some trees to improve your view... everyone who doesn't agree with your 'lil scheme, is a tree-hugger commie.

It's a fair trade - you won't mind when I buy the land around you and give you 100 single wides to look at... you never know - they may plant some trees... at least you'll have a view

Selfish bastard you are - just admit you built in the wrong spot, and move your house.

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:42:06 PM EDT

[#49]

guys, he's really trying to cut them down so that more sunlight can get through to the smaller, oppressed, developing trees.

sort of a redistribution of ~~wealth~~ sunlight.

Posted: 2/23/2006 7:42:37 PM EDT

[#50]

Tannerite!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How do you stealthily kill a tree? (Page 1 of 2)

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