How do you punish a 40 year old?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How do you punish a 40 year old? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 7/11/2008 7:07:18 AM EDT

So, after a nice long holiday weekend in which the hubby and I took time off from work to hang poolside with friends and celebrate the USA's birth, I "sucked it up" and cleaned my house, Tuesday. With my Dyson in hand, I attacked my couch to remove the hairs my dog so thoughtfully leaves behind. As I approached it, I noticed the cushions were kinda cock-eyed looking.
Hmmm...ok.
I remove cushions (after beating them with the Dyson) only to see that the back frame part of the couch is now concave shape instead of straight up from its joint at the seat frame.

My children tend to "flop" on it...so, I figure it was one flop too many. I call them downstairs.
"Who broke my couch?" I demand.
They exchange glances and then the eldest yells, "Daddy, Mommy wants you."

Mr. Playmore comes around the corner, sees the couch in pain and says, "Oh...THAT'S what that "Crack!!" was!

Evidently, in a round of horseplay, my grown husband threw the eldest down on the couch and the couch protested. And was ignored.

So...I ask you, ladies of ARFcom...HOW do I punish my 40 year old?

Since it is not a sleeper, THIS is not an option.

Posted: 7/11/2008 7:21:07 AM EDT

[#1]

Didn't you marry him already??? j/k

Posted: 7/11/2008 7:25:33 AM EDT

[#2]

He's gotta fall asleep eventually...the options are endless...

You might want to check with Persephone (BTW damned hawt chicka, that one)...

After seeing how badly she owned DustyC...I'll bet she's got lots of diabolical notions.

Posted: 7/11/2008 7:47:38 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Evidently, in a round of horseplay, my grown husband threw the eldest down on the couch and the couch protested. And was ignored.

So...I ask you, ladies of ARFcom...HOW do I punish my 40 year old?

Since it is not a sleeper, THIS is not an option.

Force him to have sex every day for the next year?

Posted: 7/11/2008 7:52:59 AM EDT

[#4]

Give him sex every day for a year. If he refuses, then I will stand in and take his punishment.

ETA: I swear I didn't read the post above mine until AFTER I posted.

But I have been a naughty lad so far this year. I could use the punishment.

Posted: 7/11/2008 8:11:21 AM EDT

[#5]

What are all you icky, potential couch breakers doing in my thread?
Shoo!

Posted: 7/11/2008 8:19:49 AM EDT

[#6]

You make him go with you to shop for the replacement.

(I wouldn't go, but maybe he will.)

Posted: 7/11/2008 8:21:33 AM EDT

[#7]

I don't know. Make him a buy a new one that is better? Good luck with that. If you figure it out, let me know. I have a 33yr old that needs to be punished.

I didn't realize so many guys of arfcom fell under the ladies of arfcom category.

J/K everyone.

Posted: 7/11/2008 8:26:43 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
What are all you icky, potential couch breakers doing in my thread?
Shoo!

We're in the thread because it shows up in active topics.

edited to add: I honestly didn't notice it was in the Women's forum when I first posted. I'll leave you to your husband bashing.

Posted: 7/11/2008 8:44:51 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:

What are all you icky, potential couch breakers doing in my thread?

We're Team Leg-humper...puskrat is our leader...

Posted: 7/11/2008 9:31:35 AM EDT

[#10]

Make him go buy you tampons. Make sure they're heavies.

Posted: 7/11/2008 9:38:51 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Make him go buy you tampons. Make sure they're heavies.

Thats not a punishment, hell its something that is needed. Although my girlfriend does most of the shopping in our house if she were to call me and ask to pick her up some on the way home I would have not problem in doing so. Id prolly try to find the hottest girl in there and ask her opinion as well and ask if there are any that are flavored or scented and dont leave an irritating burn behind when you use them to stop bloody noses. Hell I even have some in my med kit just for using on bloody/broken noses.

Posted: 7/11/2008 10:12:19 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
I'll leave you to your husband bashing.

I haven't STARTED bashing, yet.
I'm looking for suggestions on how to start.
<patiently awaits the arrival of SP1momma and Perse...the women whose bashing skills I most covet>

Posted: 7/11/2008 10:33:51 AM EDT

[#13]

Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

Posted: 7/11/2008 10:35:41 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

<weeping>
I love you, man.

Posted: 7/11/2008 10:45:33 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

Damn, you are good. Devious as all get out, but good.

Posted: 7/11/2008 10:50:35 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

Wow. you're good!

Posted: 7/11/2008 11:04:55 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Damn, you are good. Devious as all get out, but good.

Look who I'm married to. I've had practice.

Posted: 7/11/2008 11:39:54 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

To repeat what everyone else is saying- You are good. I like that idea.

Your idea had me

I know who to go to when I need some advice like this.

Posted: 7/11/2008 11:51:39 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
We're in the thread because it shows up in active topics.

Maybe threads in the Women's Forum could have a pink background or something to alert men that they are not welcome.

Posted: 7/11/2008 11:55:33 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:

Quoted:
We're in the thread because it shows up in active topics.

Maybe threads in the Women's Forum could have a pink background or something to alert men that they are not welcome.

Sense of humor meters need adjusting, gentlemen.
I don't mind when the men come into the WS at all...it was all in good fun!

Posted: 7/11/2008 12:25:11 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:

Quoted:
We're in the thread because it shows up in active topics.

Maybe threads in the Women's Forum could have a pink background or something to alert men that they are not welcome.

Sense of humor meters need adjusting, gentlemen.
I don't mind when the men come into the WS at all...it was all in good fun!

Maybe some people have dry senses of humor.

I'm surprised you don't like the idea. Women always seem to like redecorating. You could force the color scheme to pink & lavender to indicate someone is browsing the women's shooters forum. Maybe you should demand a certain goat get right on that project!

Posted: 7/11/2008 12:29:11 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
What are all you icky, potential couch breakers doing in my thread?
Shoo!

Potential?

I have a long and noble history of broken couches

Posted: 7/11/2008 12:30:49 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:

Quoted:
We're in the thread because it shows up in active topics.

Maybe threads in the Women's Forum could have a pink background or something to alert men that they are not welcome.

Sense of humor meters need adjusting, gentlemen.
I don't mind when the men come into the WS at all...it was all in good fun!

Sarcasm meter:

Posted: 7/11/2008 12:34:17 PM EDT

[#24]

Make him go shopping with you at walmart. And DON'T let him run off to the sporting goods or electronics sections....

Posted: 7/11/2008 2:44:01 PM EDT

[#25]

make him a double bacon sammich and thank him for playing with the kids. Then bed him down for the evening.

Posted: 7/11/2008 2:47:36 PM EDT

[#26]

Making him shop for a new couch would be painful enough.

Posted: 7/11/2008 2:55:41 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Evidently, in a round of horseplay, my grown husband threw the eldest down on the couch and the couch protested. And was ignored.

So...I ask you, ladies of ARFcom...HOW do I punish my 40 year old?

Since it is not a sleeper, THIS is not an option.

Force him to have sex every day for the next year?

This one, it would punish him greatly, especially if you went about it very aggressively and passionately.

Or you could gain 40 pounds....................and break a couch or 3 yourself.

Posted: 7/11/2008 3:32:19 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

i am going to to remember this for when i am marrid and encounter problems such as PM has.

Posted: 7/11/2008 4:07:28 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
(snip)

...HOW do I punish my 40 year old?

Since it is not a sleeper, THIS is not an option.

Take away his Atari?

Posted: 7/11/2008 4:29:34 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Evidently, in a round of horseplay, my grown husband threw the eldest down on the couch and the couch protested. And was ignored.

So...I ask you, ladies of ARFcom...HOW do I punish my 40 year old?

Since it is not a sleeper, THIS is not an option.

Force him to ~~have~~ give oral sex every day for the next year?

Sounds better.

Win-Win

Posted: 7/11/2008 6:04:45 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:

HOW do I punish my 40 year old?

Isn't dying first enough ??

Posted: 7/11/2008 10:07:30 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
What are all you icky, potential couch breakers doing in my thread?
Shoo!

Cook him a nice meal and perform oral sex on him?

Posted: 7/12/2008 3:03:36 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Making him shop for a new couch would be painful enough.

I would never do that.
I mean...he'd probably go all fetal position if we shopped somewhere that had upholstery choices.
And fetal makes it hard to get his wallet out of his pocket to PAY.

Quoted:

Quoted:
(snip)

...HOW do I punish my 40 year old?

Since it is not a sleeper, THIS is not an option.

Take away his Atari?

Posted: 7/12/2008 3:04:44 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

Quoted:
What are all you icky, potential couch breakers doing in my thread?
Shoo!

Potential?

I have a long and noble history of broken couches

So does he: I almost forgot...back when we were teens, we broke my mother's couch.

Posted: 7/12/2008 12:10:26 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
So does he: I almost forgot...back when we were teens, we broke my mother's couch.

At this juncture in the thread, I'd like to remind you that sometimes it's okay not to share.

LY,
MI

Posted: 7/12/2008 7:33:19 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:
What are all you icky, potential couch breakers doing in my thread?
Shoo!

Potential?

I have a long and noble history of broken couches

So does he: I almost forgot...back when we were teens, we broke my mother's couch.

I bet explaining that to the parents was interesting.

I vote for JellyBelly's idea.

You do realize you need a poll for this thread, don't you?

Posted: 7/12/2008 9:17:04 PM EDT

[#37]

Make him fix the damned couch and do the job right! Then he does a chore that he hates and you usually do, every time it needs doing for the next two months.

CJ

Posted: 7/12/2008 9:26:54 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

Or you could just put a game camera in the can and when he goes in to........oh wait, already been done.

Posted: 7/13/2008 5:27:58 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

This is one of the most beautiful plans I've ever seen.

Need help pickin' up the sofa????

Posted: 7/13/2008 5:55:44 AM EDT

[#40]

I had a to buy a new chair when my dog ate hers.

Posted: 7/13/2008 8:26:24 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

Or you could just put a game camera in the can and when he goes in to........oh wait, already been done.

Are you kidding? As soon as Jason realized it was there, he would fill up the memory card with pic's of himself doing the "helicopter."

"OMG!!!! IT SPINS!!!!"

Posted: 7/19/2008 6:49:44 AM EDT

[#42]

Nah, do something worse.....take away his guns!

Posted: 7/19/2008 7:08:34 AM EDT

[#43]

How about make him FIX what he broke ??? I Have done this kind of work and its usually not hard . A razorknife , a good drill w wood screws , some wood glue w some extra braces ???? TADA .

or you could just yell at him .

and don't forget about the makeup sex !!!

Posted: 7/19/2008 7:48:17 AM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Tell him that you've researched new couches and you've located the one you want. Unfortunately, it's pick up only, and it just happens to be found at one store in the country, which just happens to be in Dallas. This will require a road trip, and since you couldn't possibly do it alone, Special K will have to do a ride along. Since it's a long trip down here, you'll have to take a week off and he'll have to watch the kids. Bring vodka and whatever garnish you want for your martinis. Before you leave, take the boys to the store and buy them $100 worth of candy, then ration it out to 1 lb. bags for each of them to have during the day.

<--------goes to clean out guest bedroom and book reservations for the Chippendales Club for a week of hot bodied-goodness

Or you could just put a game camera in the can and when he goes in to........oh wait, already been done.

Are you kidding? As soon as Jason realized it was there, he would fill up the memory card with pic's of himself doing the "helicopter."

i3.photobucket.com/albums/y82/DVR9/Web%20Pics/crazyj.jpg

"OMG!!!! IT SPINS!!!!"

Sadly, the helicopter is a daily shower occurrence in our household.

"HEEEEEEEEEELICOPTER-HELICOPTER-HELICOPTER!!!!"

Posted: 7/19/2008 7:52:41 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Nah, do something worse.....take away his guns!

Wouldn't work around here. My guns are not a negotiating point. I know everyone is having fun, but some ideas could cause big trouble if implemented.

Posted: 7/19/2008 2:34:26 PM EDT

[#46]

first you do this

Then in the bed room you do this

Posted: 7/19/2008 7:06:10 PM EDT

[#47]

what the HELL are you complaining about woman??? you have a DYSON!!!

OY!

Posted: 7/20/2008 3:50:31 PM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Evidently, in a round of horseplay, my grown husband threw the eldest down on the couch and the couch protested. And was ignored.

So...I ask you, ladies of ARFcom...HOW do I punish my 40 year old?

Since it is not a sleeper, THIS is not an option.

Force him to have sex every day for the next year?

She isn't falling for that one again. Heh

Posted: 7/20/2008 3:58:52 PM EDT

[#49]

SP1 remains in the top seat of the WIFEY of the year.

Large replacement purchases and vodka is always a good thing.

Woman rule no 1.
Once you get the new couch..well you notice that all the other furniture just looks uhhhh worn. Then with new furniture the carpet and flooring doesn't match. Of course the wall have to have some fresh paint and paper. Time for new pics INCLUDING A family one.
Gosh these things have a way of just being a continual reminder never to rough house in the living room.
Ever......

Posted: 7/20/2008 6:23:39 PM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
Gosh these things have a way of just being a continual reminder never to rough house in the living room.
Ever......

Depends on the kind of rough housing...

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How do you punish a 40 year old? (Page 1 of 2)

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