60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Chicago people sun bathe. 50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicago people plant gardens. 40 above - Italian cars won't start. Chicago people drive with the windows down. 32 above - Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker. 20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold. 15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt. 0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt. 20 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Chicago people get out their winter coats. 40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door. 50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg. 60 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands. 460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Chicago people start saying. . ."Cold 'nuff for ya??" 500 below - Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series

67 degrees F. Mayor Daily suffers brain damage and proposes more gun control.

When I was living in Chicago, people would talk about how bad winters are there and how cold it got, and the snow. I just laughed at them. Chicagoans don't have a friggin clue what winter is. Compared to North Dakota winters Chicago is like Palm Beach. Mike