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Posted: 5/28/2002 7:14:43 PM EST
60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Chicago people sun bathe.

50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicago people plant gardens.

40 above - Italian cars won't start. Chicago people drive with the windows down.

32 above - Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.

20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.

15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.

0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.

20 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Chicago people get out their winter coats.

40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

60 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Chicago people start saying. . ."Cold 'nuff for ya??"

500 below - Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series

Link Posted: 5/28/2002 7:39:42 PM EST
67 degrees F. Mayor Daily suffers brain damage and proposes more gun control.
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 8:41:31 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/29/2002 2:26:13 AM EST
When I was living in Chicago, people would talk about how bad winters are there and how cold it got, and the snow.  I just laughed at them.  Chicagoans don't have a friggin clue what winter is.  Compared to North Dakota winters Chicago is like Palm Beach.

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