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Posted: 3/24/2006 9:16:02 AM EST
[Last Edit: 4/18/2006 5:00:41 AM EST by AvengeR15]
I've been wanting to meet one of these guys for a while, and my dream finally came true yesterday. I was just getting off duty and heading home when I decided to stop by the local public library to see if a book I had reserved earlier had come in. I was still in my Army uniform, which is why I got The Treatment.

As I'm walking in, I see a guy near the front entrance who has immediately locked on to me, and I can tell that he is going to talk me up some before I am allowed to go in. Guy is about 5'9", 190lbs, with a brown army T-shirt on and a ponytail in a rubber band, smoking a cigarette.

When I am still about 10 feet away he starts talking as if we are already in the middle of a conversation. I missed the first thing he said (in fact, I missed A LOT of what he said, because he talked very quickly, and his conversation had the feel of a well-rehearsed monologue, as if he had given it dozens of times).

I'll post everything I can remember. The whole time we talked (maybe 10 minutes) I was trying to keep from laughing and was thinking "boy, this is going to make a terrific thread on ARFCOM".

--He was apparently a member of the Shadow Warriors, which is above Delta Force, and which no one has ever heard of.

--He served 28 years, and EVERY SINGLE THING he did was classified top secret. So now he couldn't get any retirement benefits, because there was no record of him being in the service at all.

--He wrote the Advanced Infantry Tactics manual for the US Army after he retired.

--He reinstated Zulu tactics in the Army, which were then successfully used in OIF to defeat the Iraqi military.

--He helped develop the PSR-72 and -73, which came after the SR-71. The -72 and -73 used a revolutionary new engine that ran on 'atmosphere' and could also swoop down over the oceans and suck up salt water to use at fuel. These two planes could fly at Mach 18.5.

--In 2000, when the Chinese were making noise about invading Taiwan, he flew in the copilot's seat of a PSR-72 and dropped a thermonuclear earthquake-producing bomb on their country, to convince them of the futility of invading Taiwan, since we could wipe them out easily with our superior technology.



As I said earlier he talked so fast that I missed quite a bit of what he was saying, but those are the high points that come to mind. He continuously emphasized that he 'didn't exist' and everytime he asked me if I had heard of the things he had done, I would of course answer no and he would reply "Of course not, that's all still classified".

He also asked me if I had heard of a number of people he had worked with, like Delta Force personnel and Air Force Combat Controllers. He rattled off a bunch of names I didn't recognize, and the only one I remember is CPT Lindsey Thompson, a Delta Force guy, IIRC.

Finally I told him I really had to get going, but it was nice meeting him. I shook his hand and asked him his name, and he replied with The Deal-Closer:

"My real name's Dean."

I went inside, looked for my book and came out a few minutes later, and he was gone. However, another (normal) guy approached me as I walked to my vehicle, and asked if the crazy guy had been talking to me about his military career. I filled him in on the details and this guy nodded, and said he had heard the same things, except that Dean had also told him that he and his dive-buddy were responsible for sinking the Soviet sub the Kursk.

We laughed it up for a minute and parted ways. Dean is kind of crazy, but for all that he seemed relatively harmless to me, just a guy who really needs attention. Plus, I doubt anyone in the world would actually believe he did any of the things he did, so no worries of him recieving false praise or honors or anything like that.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:18:52 AM EST
[Last Edit: 3/24/2006 9:19:19 AM EST by Hellhound]
Lucky!!

Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:21:08 AM EST
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:21:52 AM EST
wow!

BTW I was the one that sunk the Kursk!
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:23:22 AM EST
The Shadow Warrior thing sounds familiar for some reason, probably just something I read in a book though.

I've never had to deal with one of these assclowns personally yet, but I've watched my Dad run a few off.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:23:54 AM EST
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:24:24 AM EST
Next time you see him, give him a roll of Alum foil and tell him good luck.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:25:02 AM EST

Originally Posted By RIA45ACP:
The Shadow Warrior thing sounds familiar for some reason, probably just something I read in a book though.




Tom Clancy wrote a non-fiction book of that title. In fact, I asked Dean if that was what he meant when he first mentioned it, and he said that was a DIFFERENT group of Shadow Warriors.

Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:25:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By macman37:
wow!

BTW I was the one that sunk the Kursk!



I helped dammit
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:26:22 AM EST
Well, lets just THANK GOD that "Dean" is on our side!!
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:26:49 AM EST
Shadow Warriors, wasn't that part of Lethal Weapon I?
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:28:42 AM EST
And then he returned to ultra secret Methamphetamine clinic he REALLY was a member of and came down off his high and realized he was the just same old loser he was before he got high and told you of his exploits of daring!
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:29:50 AM EST
why is it that whenever these guys talk about their time in any branch, they were always superhero type adventures? Why don't they just talk about the boredom of supply? shipping? shuffeling papers? nosirebob, never served in a regular support position, always had to be the man of action thing.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:30:13 AM EST
Zulu Tactics? Isn't that lining up and jumping up and down while chanting "zulu, zulu, zulu"? I guess I missed that part when we invaded Iraq. It would have been something to see.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:30:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By RIA45ACP:
The Shadow Warrior thing sounds familiar for some reason, probably just something I read in a book though.

I've never had to deal with one of these assclowns personally yet, but I've watched my Dad run a few off.



No no no..........He was one of the shadow people.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:32:23 AM EST
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:34:38 AM EST

Originally Posted By AvengeR15:
he couldn't get any retirement benefits, because there was no record of him being in the service at all.



I suspect that statement is 100% correct.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:34:47 AM EST
did he offer you some jerky?
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:41:13 AM EST

Originally Posted By HarrySacz:

Originally Posted By macman37:
wow!

BTW I was the one that sunk the Kursk!



I helped dammit



True!

Every great hero needs a sidekick!
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:42:10 AM EST

Originally Posted By AvengeR15:

--In 2000, when the Chinese were making noise about invading Taiwan, he flew in the copilot's seat of a PSR-72 and dropped a thermonuclear earthquake-producing bomb on their country, to convince them of the futility of invading Taiwan, since we could wipe them out easily with our superior technology.




BUSTED!

What a loser.

This event was declassified last year, and that's why I can tell you that it was my Uncle Howard that delivered that thermonuclear device.

And anyone in the know would realize that the PSR-72 didn't have the capability to deliver that device until after the main spar was re-designed in late '63 (or was it '64?)

My uncle Howard (RIP) participated in what is now known as the only suicide mission ever performed by a US soldier, when he rode his Hodaka Combat Wombat into the earthquake target area with the device strapped to his back.

And that's the God's Honest Truth.

Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:42:29 AM EST

Originally Posted By AJ-IN-JAX:

Originally Posted By RIA45ACP:
The Shadow Warrior thing sounds familiar for some reason, probably just something I read in a book though.

I've never had to deal with one of these assclowns personally yet, but I've watched my Dad run a few off.



No no no..........He was one of the shadow people.




lol That to, but I remember reading the Clancy book now.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:47:00 AM EST
[Last Edit: 3/24/2006 9:52:45 AM EST by Hokie]
I dunno, Dean sounds legit to me. Too bad you didn't have a paper bag. You could have blown it up, snuck up behind him, and POPPED it! His reaction would have been funny, especially if he screamed like a girl.

unless of course he totally flipped out and kicked your ass with all his Shadow Warrior training...

what a turd
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:48:25 AM EST
I love self diluted idiots.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:54:18 AM EST

Originally Posted By HarrySacz:

Originally Posted By macman37:
wow!

BTW I was the one that sunk the Kursk!



I helped dammit



Hey, don't leave me out! Who do you think was piloting that new super-secret silent submarine?
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 9:55:59 AM EST
if everything he tells you is classified, why is he telling you?

1st sign of a poser, he said he was former Special Forces before you even asked, real SF dont just walk up to random people and tell old war stories
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 10:05:38 AM EST
He told you about the SW brigade???? Dammit, our cover is blown now.

All SW double-skunk secret agents, fall back to location Hotel_Oscar_Oscar_Tango_Echo_Romeo_Sierra. We'll confer with Hannibal when everyone is accounted for.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 10:07:57 AM EST

The funny thing is, a real deal warrior approached me a few weeks ago when I was eating dinner at a Chinese place before heading home for the night. This guy was 180 degrees from Dean. It was in his walk and his talk as well.

He told me that he got out as a Master Sergeant in 94 during the Clinton-era forces drawdown. Spent eighteen years in, including a good bit of time in SOCOM. No bullshit or amazing stories, just telling the truth about making jumps, and his old SGM, who was a real prick. He really wished he could get back in because he missed it like hell, but felt he was too old now (51) to make it.

I wish I had thought to give that guy a recruiters card, or even my number, and tried to talk him into joining back up and bringing his experience and abilities to a new generation of soldiers.

Link Posted: 3/24/2006 10:08:57 AM EST
I know who this guy is. We served together ( in the air, on the ground, and even underground, but that's another story.) Hate to do it to a fellow Shadow Warrior who saved my life eight times, but I
have to take him out for talking. The rest of you better forget this.

P.S. Please delete this after reading. Thank you for your co-operation.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 10:12:13 AM EST
I'm still waiting for my chance to meet one. Should be interesting.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 10:33:00 AM EST
Dammit! Dean should know better. I should have killed him in Sicily in '87. Now I'll have to contact shadow ops and order a hit on him for running off at the mouth.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 10:36:53 AM EST
He's not a poser, he sounds like a mentally ill person....

wait, is there a difference?
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 10:59:03 AM EST
I once had a dealer at a gunshow see my T-shirt and start rattling off Marine combat actions from the last 10yrs including a small one i happened to be a part of. now i didnt say anything, i just let him prattle on until he said he had been in my unit and a platoon commander and i just snapped. i had just worked a double shift and was tired and cranky and i said "oh yeah, no shit. im DvlDog, i was the squad leader for Lt. ********, if i remember right we were all able to exfil on 1 CH-53 but i dont fucking remember YOU. and i dont fucking remember you at the S-2 debrief and i dont fucking remember you when it came time to write the AARs and we all had to share that one tiny little table in the S-2 hut. youre a fucking liar and you can shove all this crappy surplus up your ass" it felt good at the time but the guy was giant im 6'5 260# and he had me by at least 50lbs of muscle. i probably should have been more diplomatic. since then the wife wont go to a gunshow with me :-(
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 11:00:52 AM EST

Originally Posted By VinceU1:
Shadow Warriors, wasn't that part of Lethal Weapon I?



That was Shadow Company I think....

Yeah,'cause I ran into some of those Shadow Company pussies in Saigon in '69....
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 11:14:12 AM EST

Originally Posted By AvengeR15:

...
I went inside, looked for my book and came out a few minutes later, and he was gone. However, another (normal) guy approached me as I walked to my vehicle, and asked if the crazy guy had been talking to me about his military career. I filled him in on the details and this guy nodded, and said he had heard the same things, except that Dean had also told him that he and his dive-buddy were responsible for sinking the Soviet sub the Kursk.

We laughed it up for a minute and parted ways...



My God man! Don't you realise how close you came to being abducted by his handlers????

It's obvious that his implanted surveillance chip relayed his conversation and they swooped in from their observation posts to sanitize the situation. The normal guy was just checking to make sure "Dean" hadn't given you the location to the secret command bunker and that you didn't really believe him.

Link Posted: 3/24/2006 11:40:23 AM EST
shadow warriors?
wasnt that the name of the evil soldier unit in diehard?
I remember it from somemovie...
cant recall which one.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 11:54:02 AM EST

Originally Posted By RIA45ACP:
The Shadow Warrior thing sounds familiar for some reason, probably just something I read in a book though.

I've never had to deal with one of these assclowns personally yet, but I've watched my Dad run a few off.




Not trying to be a DICK but ar15 is full of them!!!!
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 12:03:01 PM EST

Originally Posted By cheaptrickfan:
why is it that whenever these guys talk about their time in any branch, they were always superhero type adventures? Why don't they just talk about the boredom of supply? shipping? shuffeling papers? nosirebob, never served in a regular support position, always had to be the man of action thing.



Make themselves feel more important I guess. If they actually served apparently their job was mundane. I don't understand it though. I respect anyone who served in the military. Regardless of your job you still served and provided some sort of function to the security of our nation.

I work with a couple of guys in dispatch who were in the military. One in the Army and the other in the Air Force. They don't embellish one bit about what they did. Both served in Desert Storm to some extent. The guy who was Army will tell you all day long he didn't fire one shot or even see any combat he was just there, he worked with computers of some sort and the Air Force guy loaded cargo planes I think.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 12:04:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 3/24/2006 12:04:44 PM EST by blacklisted]
Hey, why are you making fun of my swim buddy?


Obviously this guy has some sort of mental illness, it's quite sad.
Link Posted: 3/24/2006 12:12:24 PM EST
You should have told him that you were actually there to pick him up for his next mission and to calmly follow you to your vehicle without making a scene.
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:09:01 AM EST

Update!

I had breakfast with one of my fellow NCOs this morning, and out of the blue he started talking about a crazy guy he met at the VFW on Saturday night. His wife bartends there, and he goes sometimes to shoot the shit with the vets.

He started telling me about this complete stranger that cornered him for about three hours Saturday night, with some truly incredible war stories. Turns out this is the exact same guy I met at the library less than a month ago. As soon as he mentioned what this guy said, I brought up my own encounter and it is definitely the same guy.

This NCO got all the same stories as I did, and additionally:

--While Dean was flying the PSR-72 for the Air Force, he developed a new 'corkscrew' flight manuever that the USAF adopted.

--He was on Seal Team 6 and Red Cell with Richard Marchinko, but his name does not appear in either book.

--When he was SF in Afghanistan in late 2001, he didn't agree with how the Army was operating, so he broke away from his Team and formed his own loyal Afghan army, and at this time had 500 Afghan wives because he was the tribal chieftain, or some such nonsense.

There had to have been some other good stories as well, but that was all my buddy could remember that I hadn't already heard.

He told me that at the VFW all the non-regulars must show active or retired military ID at the bar before being served, so presumably this guy had some sort of ID on him at the VFW, which would dispute his original claim to me of "never having existed in the military". I am going to try to get more info about this situation if there are any more encounters, and will update this thread accordingly.

Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:11:40 AM EST

Originally Posted By RIA45ACP:
The Shadow Warrior thing sounds familiar for some reason, probably just something I read in a book though.

I've never had to deal with one of these assclowns personally yet, but I've watched my Dad run a few off.



FWIW, "Shadow Warrior" is the name of a Tom Clancy book that examines the origins and history of Special Forces.
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:13:11 AM EST
Wow ....

"My job is so secret even I don't know what I'm doing."

This guy sounds like a nutjob, it's the ones who are very convincing that piss me off the most.
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:15:56 AM EST
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:16:44 AM EST

Originally Posted By mcnielsen:
You should have told him that you were actually there to pick him up for his next mission and to calmly follow you to your vehicle without making a scene.



THAT would be hilarious!

Get a few buddies to talk into their shirt collars while glancing at him... Walk up, tell him his shadow cell is being activated and his country needs him... Videotape the whole thing...

(of course make sure the guy isn't armed first...)

Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:23:03 AM EST
You are so lucky to meet a person of such high service to our country, do not poke fun at him, be honored.

One of my close brushes with such intelligence was when I worked at a tree nursery the summer before I went to college. I had the honor to work with THE MAN that designed the F-16's entire fule system, but because he was "a classified military engineer" he did not get paid or any credit for it. He was ground foreman at this nursery bringing down about $7.50 per hour.................

Lord help our retired service men...........
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:31:08 AM EST

Originally Posted By macman37:

Originally Posted By mcnielsen:
You should have told him that you were actually there to pick him up for his next mission and to calmly follow you to your vehicle without making a scene.



THAT would be hilarious!

Get a few buddies to talk into their shirt collars while glancing at him... Walk up, tell him his shadow cell is being activated and his country needs him... Videotape the whole thing...

(of course make sure the guy isn't armed first...)





Now that is fucking hilarious!
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:32:04 AM EST

Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer:
did he own a mini14?

which one of these guys was he?

www.legendarytv.com/the_a-team/wallpaper/the_a_team_group_3_800.jpg



GET YOUR GODDAMN FINGERS OFF THE TRIGGERS ASSHOLES!
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:35:54 AM EST

Originally Posted By Cabby:

Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer:
did he own a mini14?

which one of these guys was he?

www.legendarytv.com/the_a-team/wallpaper/the_a_team_group_3_800.jpg



GET YOUR GODDAMN FINGERS OFF THE TRIGGERS ASSHOLES!



Thats the A Team, dont question the tactics of the A Team.
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:39:43 AM EST
Everyone knows the Shadow Warriors are old school. They were disbanded and replaced with Megaforce.

They supply the troops for the SSDG program now.
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:40:16 AM EST
I was spotting for Dean when he had Hitler in his crosshairs. The battery in the radio crapped out, so we couldn't get the green light from Ike.

What a missed opportunity. We could have ended the war two years earlier if we had decent batteries.
Link Posted: 4/18/2006 5:52:12 AM EST
This guy sounds like Hap Shaughnessy from the Red Green Show.

"Did I tell you about the time I killed a charging rhinocerous with a spoon?"
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