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Posted: 4/17/2006 4:37:54 PM EST
Hello All

A mutual friend of my wife and mine is currently in nursing school at a local university. She is dating a instructor/grad student from another school in the university. She is 21 and he 25.

He still lives at home with his parents. He does not pay rent and saves his money. He has a new bass boat. He has never lived outside of the home to our knowledge. He has amassed quite a savings.

I think he will never commit to her, a 25 year old man should not be living at home. I think it is a sign that he does not want responsibility and will never marry.

My wife thinks that because he is hoarding his money and freeloading at home he is fiscally responsible.

A poll will be added.

Tell me what do you think.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:39:01 PM EST
IBTP
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:39:25 PM EST
your friend should marry him, wait a few years, then file for divorce and take all the money he saved up.

it's the american way
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:39:28 PM EST
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:42:30 PM EST

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:
My wife thinks that because he is hoarding his money and freeloading at home he is fiscally responsible.



No. Being fiscally and financially responsible is having a place to live, feeding yourself and washing your own skivvies.

Outside of extreme circumstances, there should be no reason for an adult to continue living at home with their parents.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:42:31 PM EST

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.



No leaving home untill you are 27 is a sign of being a damn leech.

At 27 you need to be out on your own. I purchased my home at 22.

We live in a world of coddled man children and pseudo princesses.

Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:45:08 PM EST
He's still going to school. Big deal.

Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:45:09 PM EST
i'm suspicious of anyone who lives with their parents after age 20 or so, including those in college, and ESPECIALLY college graduates. it's not just fiscal issues he has, but independence ones. i see living with your parents as a way of saying "i dont know how to handle living in the real world"
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:45:25 PM EST

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.



No leaving home untill you are 27 is a sign of being a damn leech.

At 27 you need to be out on your own. I purchased my home at 22.

We live in a world of coddled man children and pseudo princesses.





how long ago was this? in some areas of the country, that's simply impossible. the cost of homeownership has risen much faster than the average salary.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:45:37 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/17/2006 4:47:16 PM EST by IAMLEGEND]

Originally Posted By racer934:

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:
My wife thinks that because he is hoarding his money and freeloading at home he is fiscally responsible.



No. Being fiscally and financially responsible is having a place to live, feeding yourself and washing your own skivvies.

Outside of extreme circumstances, there should be no reason for an adult to continue living at home with their parents.



I thought it was common in Italian families, for example, for children to stay at home until married.

ETA: And many of them are damn close to having a place free-and-clear when they make the move.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:46:07 PM EST

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.



where did you get THAT little factoid? i'm not saying you're wrong, but i'd be shocked if that were the truth
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:46:50 PM EST

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.



No leaving home untill you are 27 is a sign of being a damn leech.

At 27 you need to be out on your own. I purchased my home at 22.

We live in a world of coddled man children and pseudo princesses.




I'm 22 and I make very good money and I cannot buy a home by myself (but I don't live at home either).

I doubt hardly anyone in this day and age that is single and 22 can purchase a home.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:47:02 PM EST

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:
i'm suspicious of anyone who lives with their parents after age 20 or so, including those in college



so it's wrong to live at home during summer break in between the school year? what am i supposed to do, rent an apartment for 2.5 months?
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:47:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By fossil_fuel:

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.



No leaving home untill you are 27 is a sign of being a damn leech.

At 27 you need to be out on your own. I purchased my home at 22.

We live in a world of coddled man children and pseudo princesses.





how long ago was this? in some areas of the country, that's simply impossible. the cost of homeownership has risen much faster than the average salary.

\

I purchased the home in Oak Ridge, TN in 2004. Oak Ridge is just outside of Knoxville, TN.

I don't live in a mansion, it's only two bedroom. But I know I can't start at the top.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:48:25 PM EST

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I thought it was common in Italian families, for example, for children to stay at home until married.



I am not Italian.

However, I did date a young Japanese woman when I was in the mil. She was a 25 yr old GS-5, IIRC, and lived at home as the rent in HI was nuts. I see that circumstance as an exception.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:48:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By fossil_fuel:

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:
i'm suspicious of anyone who lives with their parents after age 20 or so, including those in college



so it's wrong to live at home during summer break in between the school year? what am i supposed to do, rent an apartment for 2.5 months?



no, that's different. i'm talkng permenant residence. i lived with my parents between school years too, though i would not describe it as enjoyable. i don't even consider my parent's house "home" anymore, because it is not.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:49:02 PM EST

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.



where did you get THAT little factoid? i'm not saying you're wrong, but i'd be shocked if that were the truth



The radio one day. I'd say it's pretty close to true, too. I'm 22 and I don't know anyone else my age that lives/provides for themself in this area. My best friend is a few months older than me and he lives in Florida, but he lives with his girlfriend.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:51:25 PM EST

Originally Posted By racer934:

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I thought it was common in Italian families, for example, for children to stay at home until married.



I am not Italian.

However, I did date a young Japanese woman when I was in the mil. She was a 25 yr old GS-5, IIRC, and lived at home as the rent in HI was nuts. I see that circumstance as an exception.



We aint talkin about HI. We live in East TN.

The home I purchased was a forclosure and required a lot of work. But my wife and I did it.

She was in college and working as a waitress part time.

Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:51:35 PM EST

Originally Posted By racer934:

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I thought it was common in Italian families, for example, for children to stay at home until married.



I am not Italian.

However, I did date a young Japanese woman when I was in the mil. She was a 25 yr old GS-5, IIRC, and lived at home as the rent in HI was nuts. I see that circumstance as an exception.



Neither am I, and I left home part way through school. What I was getting at is there are some cultures/ethnicities who consider this normal and for that matter, if you could actually put up with your family, there could be huge advantages in it (in terms of even a few years of not blowing rent and saving up for a downpayment).
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:52:02 PM EST
Dude, I moved out a couple times... and back in a couple times. I was living with my 'rents when I was 23. I WAS paying a little rent at the time, but it was a good situation.

When you're a student, without a huge income, it just makes sense to stay at home for as long as you can. He's obviously smart by saving a lot. Wish I could have done that!

As for his maturity, I'd say it can't be determined with the little detail you've provided, so I'm gonna have to say the jury is out on this one.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:52:32 PM EST

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:
The home I purchased was a forclosure and required a lot of work. But my wife and I did it.



Sure, with TWO incomes! What about us single folks?
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:52:33 PM EST

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.



where did you get THAT little factoid? i'm not saying you're wrong, but i'd be shocked if that were the truth



The radio one day. I'd say it's pretty close to true, too. I'm 22 and I don't know anyone else my age that lives/provides for themself in this area. My best friend is a few months older than me and he lives in Florida, but he lives with his girlfriend.



then it must be true! no offense, but i rate the radio right up there with the internet in the credibility department. remember the old saying: believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what you see
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:52:56 PM EST
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:54:16 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/17/2006 4:54:56 PM EST by fossil_fuel]

Originally Posted By Aimless:
Yikes! I lived at home for awhile after I got out of law school. I did not know how evil I was at the time.

Hell I'm 1/2 tempted to move back



i would agree that there's a hell of a lot more to maturity than having your own residence.

that said, someone who's 30+ and still living at home is a bit sad.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:54:49 PM EST

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:

Originally Posted By racer934:

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I thought it was common in Italian families, for example, for children to stay at home until married.



I am not Italian.

However, I did date a young Japanese woman when I was in the mil. She was a 25 yr old GS-5, IIRC, and lived at home as the rent in HI was nuts. I see that circumstance as an exception.



Neither am I, and I left home part way through school. What I was getting at is there are some cultures/ethnicities who consider this normal and for that matter, if you could actually put up with your family, there could be huge advantages in it (in terms of even a few years of not blowing rent and saving up for a downpayment).



He is a native son of TN. A mixed breed of Scoth/Irish/Welsh. His family immigrated in the 1700's.

Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:56:26 PM EST

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:

Originally Posted By racer934:

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I thought it was common in Italian families, for example, for children to stay at home until married.



I am not Italian.

However, I did date a young Japanese woman when I was in the mil. She was a 25 yr old GS-5, IIRC, and lived at home as the rent in HI was nuts. I see that circumstance as an exception.



Neither am I, and I left home part way through school. What I was getting at is there are some cultures/ethnicities who consider this normal and for that matter, if you could actually put up with your family, there could be huge advantages in it (in terms of even a few years of not blowing rent and saving up for a downpayment).



He is a native son of TN. A mixed breed of Scoth/Irish/Welsh. His family immigrated in the 1700's.




Well, if he has a good relationship with his family and isn't creepy or irresponsible in other ways I might be inclined to chalk it up to thrifty.

Although I never could have done it.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:58:27 PM EST
now that i've thought about it, his parents should probably charge him rent. i see someone who still lives with their parents but pays them rent as being more "mature" than someone who lives in their own home but has their parents help them pay the mortgage.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:58:44 PM EST

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:
The home I purchased was a forclosure and required a lot of work. But my wife and I did it.



Sure, with TWO incomes! What about us single folks?



Thats 1 and a 1/2 incomes.

If you want to purchase.

I would suggest that you spend less money on entertainment, toys, eating out, cable, etc. and use the savings for a down payment.

I would also suggest living in an area where housing is reasonable.

But at 25 you still need to be out on your own and not living at home even if you are renting.

The guy in question is a full time instructor at the college and is working on his PHD.

He can afford a new ski boat but can't live out on his own?


Link Posted: 4/17/2006 4:59:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By fossil_fuel:
now that i've thought about it, his parents should probably charge him rent. i see someone who still lives with their parents but pays them rent as being more "mature" than someone who lives in their own home but has their parents help them pay the mortgage.



+1
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:00:08 PM EST

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:

Originally Posted By fossil_fuel:

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:

Originally Posted By Tim84K10:
Smart guy.

In this day and age, the average person doesn't leave home until 27.

I'm sure he'll do just fine if he has amassed such a savings.



No leaving home untill you are 27 is a sign of being a damn leech.

At 27 you need to be out on your own. I purchased my home at 22.

We live in a world of coddled man children and pseudo princesses.





how long ago was this? in some areas of the country, that's simply impossible. the cost of homeownership has risen much faster than the average salary.

\

I purchased the home in Oak Ridge, TN in 2004. Oak Ridge is just outside of Knoxville, TN.

I don't live in a mansion, it's only two bedroom. But I know I can't start at the top.




No shit I live in Oak Ridge im me and we will go shoot.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:00:47 PM EST
The way I think, it is OK to live with one's parents, if the person is working and paying rent.
The person in question is not paying rent and has bought a bass boat, so IMHO he is a leach.
But I would want to know more before determining.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:01:30 PM EST
25 is awfully young. I would gander on just the info you've given me that marriage isn't in his near future plans. What is this girls expectations? If she's a nursing student her mind should be on finishing college and starting her career, not marriage.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:01:47 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/17/2006 5:03:51 PM EST by Wolf_Warrior]
Loser.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:02:46 PM EST
Graduate assistants make close to nothing...like below the poverty line. He might not have any other option, depending on the school/location. It might be fiscal responsibility or it might be leeching. It depends on whether he is swallowing his pride to avoid throwing rent away or whether he enjoys living there.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:05:02 PM EST

Originally Posted By pattymcn:
25 is awfully young. I would gander on just the info you've given me that marriage isn't in his near future plans. What is this girls expectations? If she's a nursing student her mind should be on finishing college and starting her career, not marriage.



She is a junior in nursing school. She has one more year.

She is not putting the education/career aside for marriage.

Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:06:35 PM EST

Originally Posted By Big_Louie:
Graduate assistants make close to nothing...like below the poverty line. He might not have any other option, depending on the school/location. It might be fiscal responsibility or it might be leeching. It depends on whether he is swallowing his pride to avoid throwing rent away or whether he enjoys living there.



He is not a GA, but a full time instructor.

The mutual friend that is his G/F says his has 50K in the bank and just bought a new ski boat/bass boat.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:06:39 PM EST

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
He's still going to school. Big deal.



I agree
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:07:54 PM EST
She's dating Lowendorf!!!!! OMFG!! Tell her to run away now.

Oh wait, his mom saw one of his paychecks and they made him move out. I guess at 34 it was time to go though. Sorry wrong guy.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:08:09 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/17/2006 5:09:15 PM EST by IAMLEGEND]
Sometimes I wish I had gotten along with my family well enough to live at home longer (and be willing to go back to visit).

But on the other hand I might not have been as determined or independent or travelled as far as China and lots of other places. Done other things I've done. Climbed mountains and stuff, I don't know. I might not have ended up being me.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:08:43 PM EST
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:13:34 PM EST

Originally Posted By ffsparky26:

Originally Posted By Big_Louie:
Graduate assistants make close to nothing...like below the poverty line. He might not have any other option, depending on the school/location. It might be fiscal responsibility or it might be leeching. It depends on whether he is swallowing his pride to avoid throwing rent away or whether he enjoys living there.



He is not a GA, but a full time instructor.

The mutual friend that is his G/F says his has 50K in the bank and just bought a new ski boat/bass boat.



Ok, that's leeching. 50k is a pretty hefty down payment in TN, and he just bought a boat.

It would be a different matter if he was making a typical pathetic stipend and had about a grand in the bank.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:17:24 PM EST
Still at the age of 25 I would be more concerned with him being a Mamma's Boy then a leech.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:18:27 PM EST

Going to school for a graduate degree and "hoarding his money" might also mean that he has his sights set firmly on a career and a house down payment after graduation.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:19:48 PM EST
If he is saving his money, he is at least financially responsible.

I know people who live at home and blow all their money on toys.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:26:02 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/17/2006 5:27:43 PM EST by Tim84K10]

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

then it must be true! no offense, but i rate the radio right up there with the internet in the credibility department. remember the old saying: believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what you see



Really doesn't matter but I find it to be very accurate.

That said, I'm 22 and I live by myself.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:30:23 PM EST
Hell, he's only 25 and has a good savings account. I wouldn't commit to her either.

Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:30:48 PM EST
If he has a good job, straight mind, etc. he is most likely doing it for the right reason.

What is better, a man like this that has his mind straight, or one that lives on his own, lives like AL Bundy and has no money, but can say he "don't live with mom and dad"

GR
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:34:40 PM EST
Really thats not enough info to say whether or not hes a leech or not.
He is still in school. Granted, he does have a full time job, but college instructors don't make THAT much money. I would see his saving up money as being fiscally responsible, and buying the boat as setting a goal and then reaching it. Maybe he doesn't plan to stay around forever and moving all of his stuff into a tiny apartment in the middle of school doesn't make any sense to him. Does he help his parents out around the house? I know when I lived at home while I was in college, my parents did not charge me rent, but I was expected to help out with chores and such.

Really, the character of a man cannot be determined by such a small amount of information about him.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:52:23 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/17/2006 5:54:09 PM EST by NimmerMehr]


I purchased the home in Oak Ridge, TN in 2004. Oak Ridge is just outside of Knoxville, TN.

I don't live in a mansion, it's only two bedroom. But I know I can't start at the top.



Uranium enrichment polution = cheap property.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 5:55:06 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/17/2006 5:56:30 PM EST by General_Tso]
For what I spend in rent, I could buy a bass boat AND a machine gun to lose in a boating accident. More power to him. Wish I had a boat.
Link Posted: 4/17/2006 6:01:32 PM EST

Originally Posted By General_Tso:
For what I spend in rent AMMO , I could buy a bass boat AND a machine gun to lose in a boating accident. More power to him. Wish I had a boat.



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