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Posted: 7/28/2004 3:33:02 AM EST
I just farted. It was kind of a long fart but not too long. I guess on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the shortest and 10 being the longest, it was a 6. One time I farted a 10, it was in a car with my friends, they were unhappy. Have you ever just let it go without caring about the other people around you? It feels nice, its like "hey, yeah i just farted, I dont care that you have to smell it, you got a problem and ill fart again, in your face, bitch" Speaking of bitches, I am probably going to get another dog, dog farts are the worst. One time my dog kept farting all day every day for like a week, we took her to the vet but he was like "uhh yeah, you will just have to put up with the farts until it passes" So i had to put up with dog farts for a whole fucking week. Have you ever smelled a dog fart? They are the worst farts ever. I wonder why though, i mean was god like "im gonna make dogs have the smelliest damn farts ever" its freaking crazy. Speaking of crazy, I met a crazy guy on the street last week. He was screaming about how todays adult diapers just aren't absorbent enough. It was crazy. I always thought it would be cool to wear adult diapers, you could just crap wherever you want and not have to run to the bathroom until you are ready. I will end this with a memory from my childhood.

A CHILDHOOD MEMORY
When I was a kid, my family would go to Colorado to fly fish in the Taylor river. My uncle had a cabin there. I never fished in the river though, I just fished at the pond, with worms. I never trusted rivers, they move too fast. They seem like they are very very sneaky. So we would catch fish and release some, but keep some to eat. The fish always tasted very fishy, and by fishy I mean they tasted like fish. Not that that was a bad thing, I happen to love the taste of fish. So the pond I fished in had a little pier that went out a little bit into the pond. Under the pier was a sort of drain, it was just a big pipe and there was always water being sucked into it. I always wondered what would happen if someone fell in the drain. So one day when my parents had gone in to town to meet some friends, I asked my little sister if she wanted to go fishing with me at the pond. She wanted to go fishing with me so we got our fishing poles and worms and walked to the pond. When we got there we started fishing. I started fishing off of the pier and my little sister started fishing from the edge of the pond. I caught two fish in about 15 minutes and she did not catch any fish at all. I said she had to fish off of the pier, she was scared to do it at first but I assured her everything was safe. So we fished off of the pier for a bit until I decided to do it. I needed to make sure her back was turned to me so she couldnt react in time. I pointed to the left and yelled "look! a bear!" she foolishly fell for it and I lunged. she fell right next to the drain and was pulled in, but she held on the the edge of the drain! I grabbed my fishing pole and started jabbing at her hands "james! what are you doing?!" she screamed. Eventually she could not hold on any longer and fell in, screaming. After making sure she was gone for good, I laughed a while, then ran back to the cabin. I got my big brother and told him (faking hysterics at the time) that my little sister had fallen into the drain at the pond. I was in the clear, nobody even suspected me. The only problem was that I had to fake being sad for awhile, but it wasn't too hard. Hrmm, that makes me wonder.... Do fish fart? I guess if they did nobody would smell it, because the fish would be underwater.
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 3:38:10 AM EST
Meth and boredom don't mix.
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 3:41:02 AM EST
Wiskey Tango Foxtrot.

One word... decaf. Try it.
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 3:45:05 AM EST
Just another reminder why I stick to the EE & Ar specific sections....
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 3:54:57 AM EST
Forgot to point out... That part about my sister was uhhh fiction, yeah thats right, I made it up, hehehehe
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:06:35 AM EST
I farted again, this time it was a couple of 2's
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:08:32 AM EST
Chicken Fucker.
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:09:10 AM EST
That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:09:48 AM EST


"Cocaine's a helluva drug."
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:10:16 AM EST
Sooner or later, you're gonna crap your pants
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:15:36 AM EST
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:16:28 AM EST
[Last Edit: 7/28/2004 5:18:17 AM EST by threefiftynone]
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:24:30 AM EST

Originally Posted By illigb:
Wiskey Tango Foxtrot.

One word... decaf. Try it.



Sounds like a typical GD topic to me.
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:30:28 AM EST
I ate some whole grain cereal last night. I have shit 6 times in the last 4 hours!!!!!

oh, I almost forgot. IBTL


I have to go wrestle another stink pickle.
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 5:57:57 AM EST
While you get points for content/quantity I don't think you're going to steal my "bizarre" topic thunder just yet. Keep tyring though... I'll gladyly give up my title and belt.

Shaving
Checking the TP
Draws
Piece of ass
Hometown Meet
Decisions
Girthy
Comfort

ad nauseum
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 6:16:32 AM EST
[Last Edit: 7/28/2004 6:17:40 AM EST by 2whiskeyP]
MisterFloppyFarty-->
Link Posted: 7/28/2004 6:28:19 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:11:12 AM EST
I could not stop farting today, it was bad because i was at the dentist and i really tried hard to hold it in but i couldnt and i farted real loud while my teeth were bring drilled and the dentist had this "wtf?" look on his face. It was kinda funny but embarrassing.
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:18:49 AM EST
Holy shit. Break the Zoloft in half Floppy.


Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:19:36 AM EST

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:
Forgot to point out... That part about my sister was uhhh fiction, yeah thats right, I made it up, hehehehe




Plagerism form chat...pure and simple.


SGatr15
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:21:04 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:
Forgot to point out... That part about my sister was uhhh fiction, yeah thats right, I made it up, hehehehe




Plagerism form chat...pure and simple.


SGatr15



WTF you talking about?
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:22:07 AM EST

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:
Forgot to point out... That part about my sister was uhhh fiction, yeah thats right, I made it up, hehehehe




Plagerism form chat...pure and simple.


SGatr15



WTF you talking about?




You're asking ME???

Tell me...are your farts loud or quiet?


SGatr15
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:23:08 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:
Forgot to point out... That part about my sister was uhhh fiction, yeah thats right, I made it up, hehehehe




Plagerism form chat...pure and simple.


SGatr15



WTF you talking about?




You're asking ME???

Tell me...are your farts loud or quiet?


SGatr15



Do you have any idea how old this thread is?

Usually loud.
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:26:09 AM EST

Do you have any idea how old this thread is?



As old as the underware you are wearing??


Loud huh?

WE GOTS OURSELVES A VIRGIN HERE BOYS!

Texas up!!

Sgatr15
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:26:46 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Do you have any idea how old this thread is?



As old as the underware you are wearing??


Loud huh?

WE GOTS OURSELVES A VIRGIN HERE BOYS!

Texas up!!

Sgatr15



You wish.
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:28:35 AM EST

Originally Posted By threefiftynone:
I'm sure that someone will come along soon with the "this thread sucks" gif.




Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:28:52 AM EST
playing a game against yourself?

trying to top each sub-moronic post with yet something dumber? you're good!
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:29:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:
playing a game against yourself?

trying to top each sub-moronic post with yet something dumber? you're good!



You are so cute.
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:30:15 AM EST

Originally Posted By einnor1040:

Originally Posted By threefiftynone:
I'm sure that someone will come along soon with the "this thread sucks" gif.




img.photobucket.com/albums/v109/einnor1040/suck_thread.gif



Bout a month late there bub.
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 3:53:46 PM EST
hey mr floppy you look like a fart turned inside out.
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 6:53:57 PM EST

Originally Posted By TexasRooter:
hey mr floppy you look like a fart turned inside out.




I'll take that as a compliment.
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