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Posted: 11/26/2014 2:55:37 PM EDT
http://taskandpurpose.com/funniest-punishments-military-reddit/




This one got me laughing...

The "suicidal” private caught messing with a girl in basic.

I was in a gender-mixed company in basic. The third floor of the barracks was split with females on one half and males on the other.
Males were not allowed in the female half and vice-versa. My platoon was out back practicing throwing grenade bodies and a window on the female side of the third floor opened and a male snuck out of the window onto the ledge. It was immediately obvious to everyone, including our drill sergeant, that he had been in there messing around with a female and another drill sergeant must have come down the hall, forcing him to get out on to the ledge so he wouldn’t get caught. Our drill sergeant looked at the guy for a minute and then yelled really sarcastically, "don’t do it private, you have lots to live for.” Then they put him on suicide watch, and made him hand over his belts and tie and shoelaces and everything that he could hang himself with, and made him drag his newly bare mattress out into the hallway next to the fire guard desk and sleep out there every night until we graduated four weeks later. And they made his battle buddy sleep on the floor next to him for the first week.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 3:34:24 PM EDT
LOL,those are pretty funny.

I remember the first few weeks in I was on firewatch-DI's come in,everyone gets online and sounds off-1 short.

I look at the other guy on firewatch (we are standing on the quarterdeck behind the DIs) with that look of "Oh Shit"!

Everyone counts off again-still one short-DI starts walking down the bunks-1 recruit still sleeping!!Slept thru all the yelling and sounding off.DI's maded everyone get in and out of the bunks a bunch of times (Get in the rack/get on line/over and over).Glad I was on firewatch.

Ah the memories...........
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:00:18 PM EDT
We had a rash of people getting caught having sex in different barracks over a few weeks. The base CO decided that every division had to muster in one of the drill halls, where they made the latest couple to get caught read their statements out loud to everyone. The girl than proceeded to tell us all about how she took it up the ass in a stairwell. The guy, as I recall was the son of a CO of a ship that was deployed. No one got caught for probably three weeks after that.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:26:26 PM EDT
There was a time when we made a private sweep all the sunshine off the sidewalks. It took the poor guy all day.


Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:31:06 PM EDT
This one is fucking epic:

A service member was a total f—up, to put it gently. Couldn’t be on time, couldn’t show up dressed to standards, constantly forgot professional courtesies, so on. When he was on his last straw, his squad leader pulled him aside and more or less started yelling, then stopped himself.

“No. You know what? I’m done yelling at you. It doesn’t work. Stay right here; don’t go anywhere.” He stormed off into the company building. The phrase, “stay right here, don’t go anywhere” is typically the precursor to something horrible happening when said in anger. The squad leader eventually emerged carrying a small-ish potted tree, which he handed to the service member.

“You will keep this tree alive. You will carry this with you wherever you go in uniform. You will take it to PT, you will take it to chow, you will take it to work. If anyone asks you why you’re carrying this f—ing tree around, you will tell them, ‘It’s to replace the oxygen I stole from everyone else.’ “
View Quote

Link Posted: 11/26/2014 5:10:40 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DeltaElite777:
This one is fucking epic:

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DeltaElite777:
This one is fucking epic:

A service member was a total f—up, to put it gently. Couldn’t be on time, couldn’t show up dressed to standards, constantly forgot professional courtesies, so on. When he was on his last straw, his squad leader pulled him aside and more or less started yelling, then stopped himself.

“No. You know what? I’m done yelling at you. It doesn’t work. Stay right here; don’t go anywhere.” He stormed off into the company building. The phrase, “stay right here, don’t go anywhere” is typically the precursor to something horrible happening when said in anger. The squad leader eventually emerged carrying a small-ish potted tree, which he handed to the service member.

“You will keep this tree alive. You will carry this with you wherever you go in uniform. You will take it to PT, you will take it to chow, you will take it to work. If anyone asks you why you’re carrying this f—ing tree around, you will tell them, ‘It’s to replace the oxygen I stole from everyone else.’ “



Fuck, I'm dyin' here.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 5:13:03 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DeltaElite777:
This one is fucking epic:

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By DeltaElite777:
This one is fucking epic:

A service member was a total f—up, to put it gently. Couldn’t be on time, couldn’t show up dressed to standards, constantly forgot professional courtesies, so on. When he was on his last straw, his squad leader pulled him aside and more or less started yelling, then stopped himself.

“No. You know what? I’m done yelling at you. It doesn’t work. Stay right here; don’t go anywhere.” He stormed off into the company building. The phrase, “stay right here, don’t go anywhere” is typically the precursor to something horrible happening when said in anger. The squad leader eventually emerged carrying a small-ish potted tree, which he handed to the service member.

“You will keep this tree alive. You will carry this with you wherever you go in uniform. You will take it to PT, you will take it to chow, you will take it to work. If anyone asks you why you’re carrying this f—ing tree around, you will tell them, ‘It’s to replace the oxygen I stole from everyone else.’ “



I need this to be a true story
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