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Posted: 5/12/2004 4:22:55 PM EST
I'm a pretty firm believer in not taking time to deal with other people's emotions. As such I generally get accused of, at best, being abrasive or, at worst, all sorts of colorful metaphors. From time to time I encounter people in my life that suggest that you "better change your attitude". On rare occasions these are people I actually trust, or care about, or respect. Whether it be a coworker, a family member, or whatever.

But is change like that really possible? I once read somewhere that if you still had the same personality by the time you were 30, you were stuck for life. I'm 29 now and will be 30 at the end of this year. I honestly don't think, even if I wanted to, I'd be capable of changing something like that so drastically. This got me to wondering if anyone else has managed to do so. I don't think I want to change anything (see my sigline), but now it bothers me that I might not be able to. I quit alcohol, caffeine, and nicoteine cold turkey all at once just to prove that I could and that I had that sort of control over myself. The idea that I might not be capable of changing my outlook/attitude bugs the crap out of me.

So if you did it, how, and how old were you, and why?
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:25:39 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/12/2004 4:26:53 PM EST by cyanide]
Yes , just recently.
I decided to become a nicer person. It was easy.


Ask thebeekeeper1
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:28:51 PM EST
You will always be 'stuck' with your personality, and it is more from the age of 7 on. But you can change how you treat people. I did.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:30:57 PM EST
When I was about 10-11, I really started developing the personality I have now.

In terms of a radical 180 degree reversal in personality, no, I've never had one.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:31:26 PM EST
You can't just decide to be someone else, but you can change how you react to things. Over time, you gain more control and don't usually have to fight it as hard, but sometimes a rather worthless humanoid will push the right buttons and set you off for a bit. It's easier to control if you're in the habit of controlling it.
You can change, but you have to be ever vigilant.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:32:56 PM EST
I stopped trusting cops just because they are cops. Before I came here, I figured if I was a good guy they were my friends because we are on the same side. I know that it was really naive of me, but I learned a lot on this site.

I also now realize the .45 1911 is not the ultimate in pistols, but I still like them the best anyways.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:34:40 PM EST
I have the typical "type A" personality.

A few years ago something happened to me that made me look at how I live my life and deal with situations. I decided that life is short and hurrying through everything was not really the best way. I decided to slow down, take things a little easier and be more relaxed.

It lasted a week.

Then I decided I am who I be, and I like it.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:35:41 PM EST
I used to not give a shit. Now I really don't give a shit.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:37:23 PM EST
I've changed opinions on issues in my life, but the personality hasn't changed.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:41:12 PM EST
My personality changed way back somewhere between 10 and 12. Since age 12 I've been pretty much the same person. however, I have been trying to change a few aspects of my personality lately. I've never had a COMPLETE change, but I did change a lot in that 10 to 12 time frame.

Hoppy8420
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:42:54 PM EST
I used to be a horsesass just like you, norman74. Not as big of an ass but an ass neverthe less.LOL

Not really. I had a huge temper that matched my ego. Nothing was fast enough to suit me, good enough, nice enough. It seemed that there was always a problem with something. There was. It was me. I was the one constant in the equation and I finally realized it was my fault. Within one year I was a different person. The temper is under controll and rarely slips its chain. There was no drug or drinking problem. I didn't start drinking untill I was 42 yearsold. It was all me. I just made up my mind to be a better person and I think I'm doing alright.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:44:16 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:44:43 PM EST

Originally Posted By kikomax:
I used to not give a shit. Now I really don't give a shit.

........me too, especially when it comes to women, THEIR a pain in the ass, and influenced me negatively, every last one of them! NEVER AGAIN ....I'd be a multi-millionaire now!
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:44:45 PM EST
I had a conversation with my Mother re my late Father, who died when I was 19.
After the conversation, I realized that I'd spent many, many years trying to live my life the way I thought my Father lived his, and that I'd been trying to see life as I thought he did.
BIG REVELATION.
I'm NOT my Dad.
It took a lot of pressure off of my mind that I didn't even realize I'd had until then.
Because my Dad had never told me I could be 'my own Man', so to speak, I was living in the shadow of a ghost.
I had been missing a key component to putting myself together and just being ME.
Shit.

Hope this doesn't scare anybody, or better yet, I hope it helps somebody in some way.
It's good to be yourself. It helps when Dad says it's OK to do that.
If he doesn't, or can't, then the journey may be long and difficult until you figure it out.
Thanks for letting me 'share'.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:47:38 PM EST
My personality is basically the same, I'm a fairly easy going kind of guy but I have changed religious believes a few times over the years. I guess I'm trying to find MY path. I know several people, my wife included, that are happy being Christian, but I don't feel it's my path. Please, no lectures from those of you that are Christian, I respect your choice to be what you are, please do the same in return. I'm sure I'll find my way sooner or later.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 4:55:06 PM EST
people can change, sometimes life dictates the change, sometimes you can control it. My entire attitude started to change when I hit 30. 2 years later I find myself much different today than a decade ago. I like myself better today, and have a better quality of life and a brighter outlook for the future becauase of my attitude adjustment.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 5:00:23 PM EST
A couple times. It's very very hard and painful emotionally. My advice is when you change, get it right the first time.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 5:03:27 PM EST
Almost exactly two years ago I was attacked by a pit bull. While it was not a life threatening injury by any means, it certainly was a life changing injury. For the first time in my life, I got really pissed and realized that there are some people out there that truly have no regards for others. It changed my outlook completely. I figured out that I would be the only one that could truly take care of myself and I made some major changes in my life as a result. I don't think most people would notice, but those who know me really well can certainly see how I am more confident, more wary of others and way less trusting. While some may see this as a negative, I think it has certainly been a positive change for me overall.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 5:05:06 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 5:08:25 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/12/2004 5:15:39 PM EST by Hokie]
You said in an earlier thread that you don't want a family...so why bother changing if you're satisfied? What's the point? For work? For pussy? What's your m/o? To see if you can? Gotta be more to it than that. I'm thinking insecurity about not liking who you are. Otherwise you'd never think up such wierd shit unless you're trying to beef up your post count. Am I wrong?
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 5:14:12 PM EST
I have always been a nice person and try to be everyone's friend. Evil people do not like this and constantly display their hatred for me by accusing me of terrible and untrue things.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 5:15:41 PM EST

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
I have always been a nice person and try to be everyone's friend. Evil people do not like this and constantly display their hatred for me by accusing me of terrible and untrue things.



Careful dude, you're bordering troll again. Some of us would like to see you stay around for awhile
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 5:16:51 PM EST

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
I have always been a nice person and try to be everyone's friend. Evil people do not like this and constantly display their hatred for me by accusing me of terrible and untrue things.



You are the wind beneath my wings....
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 5:17:41 PM EST
At 46 my personality is basically the same as it has always been. I have learn to control my reactions to events around me. I have an extreme amount of patience.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 6:48:44 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 6:53:53 PM EST
Nearly getting killed will usually put things in a different perspective!
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 7:03:31 PM EST
Over the course of the last year... I've become alot calmer in my personality... I guess its the transformation from a young adult, into a mature one.

Plus, instead of me trying to please others, I've been tryin to please myself. Why? Because everytime I try to help someone, I always get fucked over.
Link Posted: 5/12/2004 9:31:50 PM EST
Yeah I could say you can change your personality. Frankly when I was with my bitch of an ex fiancee', I was all lovy dubby, and was a peace loving gun owner. After she ripped my heart out of my chest, and ran over it with her truck, I frankly turned into a bit of an asshole. I'm my own person, and if people don't like it they can fuck off. I used to care what people thought of me, now I don't.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 2:30:48 AM EST
This may not be the answer you want, but it's the only one I have.

I'm not the same person I used to be. A few years back I went to a HS reunion and people were commenting on the radical change.

The difference? Christianity. I thought "born again" was just some cheap cliche until it happened to me.

Now I'm a new person, from the inside out, and I have no desire to go back to who I was before.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 3:02:26 AM EST
One can't really put a time limit or age to change oneself.

During my years I have changed the outlook of life many many times until I came to a time that I felt comfortable with it.

I thought that I would never get married and to live a happy single life.....Then at 40+ I wanted to get marry and have kids. Since then, I am very happy with myself.




Link Posted: 5/13/2004 3:08:59 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 3:29:02 AM EST
It's absolutely possible to change one's attitude. Trauma is the usual thing that does it.
It definately happened to me, - big time.
I used to be a screaming liberal until I finally made such a mess out of my life that it was either change myself and my outlook, or crash and burn completely.
I didn't accomplish it all by myself. I needed three and a half years of weekly therapy from an addiction councilor in order to turn myself around, but I did it. I'm a different person now; much more responsible. That's the biggest change. Also much more conservative on many (not all) things.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 3:56:03 AM EST

Originally Posted By Hokie:

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
I have always been a nice person and try to be everyone's friend. Evil people do not like this and constantly display their hatred for me by accusing me of terrible and untrue things.



You are the wind beneath my wings....



Now that' funny!
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