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Posted: 1/3/2012 8:11:04 PM EDT
I was at the local Whole Paycheck this evening buying some grub when I came across Miracle Rice. It's rice that they've injected AIDS into or something and now it has zero calories.



It also has zero nutrition. Who the hell eats this crap? I want to beat the person who came up with this and I want to doubly beat anyone who eats it. Buy a $25 rice steamer. Buy whole brown rice for $2. Eat like a champ for 2 weeks off it. A small serving is plenty and will provide tons of nutrition without tons of calories.

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:16:38 PM EDT
It sounds like something that would help people lose weight.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:17:43 PM EDT
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:18:21 PM EDT
As a rule, I don't eat non-food. This will be no exception.

Still, I'm curious what it actually tastes like.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:20:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By LOW2000:
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.


Serious reply - but really? I ask because my Panasonic Rice steamer was like $25 or $30 and I like the brown rice I make in it. How would one of the $150 jobs do better?
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:22:53 PM EDT
I just saw the miracle noodles today and was wondering about them.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:26:24 PM EDT
Tag...'cause I'm fat.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:27:57 PM EDT
Seems like it would be a reasonable filler for someone looking to cut carbs, but shit, just steam some broccoli or something!
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:28:56 PM EDT
Sounds like an awesome midnight snack when you don't really need the calories but your stomach is calling 'moar"


A little tobasco and I bet it would be alright. If I see it I will buy it and let y'all know if its any good.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:32:37 PM EDT
What's it made of, plastic?
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:33:54 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/3/2012 8:34:08 PM EDT by SouthEndXGF]
Originally Posted By eastshane:
Sounds like an awesome midnight snack when you don't really need the calories but your stomach is calling 'moar"


A little tobasco and I bet it would be alright. If I see it I will buy it and let y'all know if its any good.


it's just something to give that tabasco a little body.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:36:49 PM EDT
Originally Posted By eastshane:
Sounds like an awesome midnight snack when you don't really need the calories but your stomach is calling 'moar"


A little tobasco and I bet it would be alright. If I see it I will buy it and let y'all know if its any good.


you read my mind.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:41:06 PM EDT
It could be a good filler so your cal's and carbs stay low.

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:41:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SouthEndXGF:
Originally Posted By eastshane:
Sounds like an awesome midnight snack when you don't really need the calories but your stomach is calling 'moar"


A little tobasco and I bet it would be alright. If I see it I will buy it and let y'all know if its any good.


it's just something to give that tabasco a little body.
This is what I do with regular rice, but I use Franks.

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:41:55 PM EDT
Dice a carrot, egg, onion. A little soy,some butter, scramble an egg in there, bet it's not half bad.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:42:31 PM EDT
The wrapper is probably the tastiest part of the meal.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:43:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/3/2012 8:45:44 PM EDT by Tekka]
What the fuck? Rice without the normal 4.5 calories per gram. How the fuck did that do that shit?

Update... Ok its not rice. Its some crap made from the devils tongue plant.

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:44:51 PM EDT
Originally Posted By JakeThePimp:
Dice a carrot, egg, onion. A little soy,some butter, scramble an egg in there, bet it's not half bad.


Sounds good, would be even better with nutritious brown rice.

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:45:38 PM EDT
I'm reading this thread while stuffing my hand into a 42 oz. bag of M&Ms.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:45:49 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:46:17 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
whole brown rice for $2


+1

Or, pretty much 'whole' any vegetable.

Inventing new ways to eat poorly
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:46:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tekka:
What the fuck? Rice without the normal 4.5 calories per gram. How the fuck did that do that shit?

Check the ingredients. It's not rice.

It's fake food. Probably originated in China.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:48:40 PM EDT
Why not just eat toilet paper or Styrofoam?
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:52:26 PM EDT
Originally Posted By cedjunior:
I'm reading this thread while stuffing my hand into a 42 oz. bag of M&Ms.


The dark chocolate ones are the best.

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:54:40 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By LOW2000:
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.


Serious reply - but really? I ask because my Panasonic Rice steamer was like $25 or $30 and I like the brown rice I make in it. How would one of the $150 jobs do better?


MAybe i need to look into one. My brown rice explodes when i follow the directions and use a pan.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:57:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/3/2012 8:58:53 PM EDT by Eazy_E]
It's fucking shirataki noodles cut into small pieces. Jesus Christ, some of you guys are just . I've had shiritaki before. On it's own, it doesn't really have much of a taste, but it absorbs flavor well from whatever you cook with it.

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:58:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Gosu:

Originally Posted By Tekka:
What the fuck? Rice without the normal 4.5 calories per gram. How the fuck did that do that shit?

Check the ingredients. It's not rice.

It's fake food. Probably originated in China.

If you had read my updated post you'd have seen I'd figured out it was a fucked up Japanese food product.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 8:58:04 PM EDT
Originally Posted By junkxp:
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By LOW2000:
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.


Serious reply - but really? I ask because my Panasonic Rice steamer was like $25 or $30 and I like the brown rice I make in it. How would one of the $150 jobs do better?


MAybe i need to look into one. My brown rice explodes when i follow the directions and use a pan.


I went on amazon and read reviews. I wanted one that was inexpensive, easy to clean, and had decent reviews. I came up with this.

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 9:32:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By junkxp:
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By LOW2000:
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.


Serious reply - but really? I ask because my Panasonic Rice steamer was like $25 or $30 and I like the brown rice I make in it. How would one of the $150 jobs do better?


MAybe i need to look into one. My brown rice explodes when i follow the directions and use a pan.


I went on amazon and read reviews. I wanted one that was inexpensive, easy to clean, and had decent reviews. I came up with this.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41VDKe5ZQML._SS400_.jpg

Brown rice should generally soak longer and cook longer, with more water than you would use for white rice.

Most economical cookers (I have one, and yeah, they make bangin white rice) are going to leave you with really undercooked brown rice.

Something like a Zojirushi with a GABA setting will soak the rice for 2 hours, then cook it for 1.5-2 hrs. It is awesome if you eat a ton of brown rice but super overkill if you usually eat white rice, or eat rice infrequently.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 9:35:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/3/2012 9:38:25 PM EDT by junkxp]
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By junkxp:
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By LOW2000:
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.


Serious reply - but really? I ask because my Panasonic Rice steamer was like $25 or $30 and I like the brown rice I make in it. How would one of the $150 jobs do better?


MAybe i need to look into one. My brown rice explodes when i follow the directions and use a pan.


I went on amazon and read reviews. I wanted one that was inexpensive, easy to clean, and had decent reviews. I came up with this.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41VDKe5ZQML._SS400_.jpg


I'll have to look into these. My problem is i only cook a 1/4-1/2 cup at a time so would need a small one.
Still haven't figured out a good seasoning other than butter which is a no. Been trying new stuff like turmeric i've read online but being edible is about all i can say.

ETA after next post: I tried the soaking and noticed they explode more. Maybe not bringing it to a full boil before shutting the heat off and covering would work.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 9:36:52 PM EDT
I know a lot of people with Diabetes who avoid the carbs in Rice. Like me.



My Wife was chasing some zero or low carb pasta.....until we read the amazon reviews it tasted like anus. Literally.


Link Posted: 1/3/2012 9:38:05 PM EDT
Originally Posted By RustedAce:
Why not just eat toilet paper or Styrofoam?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE03VAxRGs4

Link Posted: 1/3/2012 9:39:34 PM EDT
http://holdthetoast.com/content/column-reprint-shirataki


Description made me want to gag.....gelatinous fake nor rice in fish smelling liquid.....
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 9:50:23 PM EDT
intredasting
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 9:53:29 PM EDT
praise the Lord....it's a miracle
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 9:58:28 PM EDT
Glucomannan is also the main ingredient in shirataki noodles and konnyaku which are traditional Japanese foods. These products are made from the ground corm of the konjac plant. These natural products have been eaten in Japan for centuries. Because of the fiber content and health benefits, they are known as the "broom of the intestine" in Japan



poop thread....

I may actually try some of this for my ritual cleansing
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 10:29:39 PM EDT
konnyaku is a traditional Japanese jelly-like health food made from a kind of potato called "Konnyaku potato" and calcium hydroxide or oxide calcium extracted from eggshells. Noodle type of Konnyaku is called Shirataki. Shirataki is sometimes called as "Miracle Noodle". The Konnyaku potato is native to Indonesia and is a kind of herbaceous perennial plant called "Amorphophallus Konjac"(K. Koch). Konnyaku potatoes are cultivated for food only in Japan, but wild forms grow naturally in Southeast Asia and China.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 10:31:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By junkxp:
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By LOW2000:
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.


Serious reply - but really? I ask because my Panasonic Rice steamer was like $25 or $30 and I like the brown rice I make in it. How would one of the $150 jobs do better?


MAybe i need to look into one. My brown rice explodes when i follow the directions and use a pan.


I went on amazon and read reviews. I wanted one that was inexpensive, easy to clean, and had decent reviews. I came up with this.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41VDKe5ZQML._SS400_.jpg

You need a Zojirushi
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 10:39:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/3/2012 10:43:47 PM EDT by S-28]
Half the Goddamned world is fucking starving or nutrient deficient, so obviously some genious in a lab hatched a variety of almost rice, that has zero nutritional value.

The next big craze-Zero nutrient vitamins and Dry water! Pre-buy yours now!

I love it. Somewhere in Los Angeles is an emaciated blonde model puking her guts out after eating a riceball, and she's thinking...hmmmm now I can eat twice as much.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 10:47:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 10:59:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Eazy_E:
It's fucking shirataki noodles cut into small pieces. Jesus Christ, some of you guys are just . I've had shiritaki before. On it's own, it doesn't really have much of a taste, but it absorbs flavor well from whatever you cook with it.


No taste whatsoever. None. Nada. Actually, strike that: it has negative taste. That's right, NEGATIVE taste. In order to actually eat the stuff, you have the daunting task of first overcoming the blandness. Then when your frustrated monkey ass arrives at the neutral taste line, then you may begin crafting some semblance of flavor without screwing up the precariously balanced no-taste / taste blend.


Link Posted: 1/3/2012 11:09:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By LOW2000:
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.


Serious reply - but really? I ask because my Panasonic Rice steamer was like $25 or $30 and I like the brown rice I make in it. How would one of the $150 jobs do better?

I have a pretty nice one from Korea that was worth every dollar.
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 11:11:05 PM EDT
I would be scared to try it. Has anyone accepted the challenge yet?
Link Posted: 1/3/2012 11:12:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/3/2012 11:18:12 PM EDT by LowBeta]
My GF was into Shirataki nooder for a while. Meh. They're not toxic. Whatever. She's not eating them now, they fell out of her rotation, so the weren't all "MOAR".

Anyway, it's not the rice so much, it's what you put on it. Kinda like Homer Simpson and his 10 calorie rice cakes. :-)

FOR BROWN RICE COOKING
1. I do NOT use my very fancy Sanyo 4-cup fuzzy rogic rice cooker(pic, not mine) for brown rice. I only use it for white rices. It takes toooooo long for brown rice.

2. I use an electric pressure cooker for brown rice and other whole grains. MUCH FASTER. I use it more than any other electric gizmo in the kitchen. If you're Korea-aware, I cook a lot of ogokbap (my kitchen*) that i add other grains to. I eat horse chow i guess.


*my colon is, indeed, healthy.
Link Posted: 1/4/2012 3:27:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Archtaan:
I would be scared to try it. Has anyone accepted the challenge yet?

I'm your huckleberry. Off to the store this morning. I'll try anything once.
Link Posted: 1/4/2012 3:47:35 AM EDT
How many millions die of hunger every year...


and ze Americans find a need for zero-calorie RICE?

ror.
Link Posted: 1/4/2012 4:04:41 AM EDT
I'm a diabetic so regular rice has too many carbs and spikes my blood sugar so if it tastes good in gumbo i'm all for it !!

Rice , bread and potatoes I eat very little now.....
Link Posted: 1/4/2012 2:32:47 PM EDT
I could not find the Miracle rice or noodles but I did find other Shirataki noodles (made from the same yam fiber stuff). The tofu ones do have a bit of tofu so there are 40 calories in the whole package. The ones in the right-hand picture have some added seaweed flakes in the noodles. $1.89 per bag.

When you open the package they do indeed smell like fish. I rinsed them in a colander under hot tap water for a few minutes and the smell was mostly gone. Trying them at this stage, plain, they didn't have a fishy flavor and didn't taste like anything really. Their texture is interesting. Not gummy as I expected but more like very soft rubber. That may not sound appealing but it isn't bad at all.

I made a stir fry of sorts with the noodles, chicken, bean sprouts, water chestnuts, red pepper, broccoli, green onions and cilantro. Added some soy, vinegar, sesame oil, cock sauce and lime juice. It was very good and the noodles just became part of the dish. Assuming there are no digestive issues I'll try these again as a low calorie addition to my Asian dishes.




Link Posted: 1/4/2012 2:34:21 PM EDT
Damn that looks pretty tasty and really healthy
Link Posted: 1/4/2012 5:57:21 PM EDT
Imagine being a survivor in the post apocalypse with little food to eat and coming across a warehouse filled with nothing but this rice and 12packs of Coke Zero.
Link Posted: 1/4/2012 6:26:00 PM EDT
Originally Posted By junkxp:
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By junkxp:
Originally Posted By Justa_TXguy:
Originally Posted By LOW2000:
$25 steamers cook shitty brown rice.


Serious reply - but really? I ask because my Panasonic Rice steamer was like $25 or $30 and I like the brown rice I make in it. How would one of the $150 jobs do better?


MAybe i need to look into one. My brown rice explodes when i follow the directions and use a pan.


I went on amazon and read reviews. I wanted one that was inexpensive, easy to clean, and had decent reviews. I came up with this.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41VDKe5ZQML._SS400_.jpg


I'll have to look into these. My problem is i only cook a 1/4-1/2 cup at a time so would need a small one.
Still haven't figured out a good seasoning other than butter which is a no. Been trying new stuff like turmeric i've read online but being edible is about all i can say.

ETA after next post: I tried the soaking and noticed they explode more. Maybe not bringing it to a full boil before shutting the heat off and covering would work.


I just make a batch of brown rice. I tried soaking them for like 45 minutes before turning it on. They were bigger, fluffier, and tastier that way. Had a light brown crust on the bottom as well.

The bag of brown rice cost me $1.47 and I used half of it. For 75 cents, I have three days worth of rice.
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