Alright ladies so who would figure? A guy going to a gun forum to ask for relationship help. I'll give you a brief overview of what is now a 3 month relationship. So the both of us are in Army ROTC, we are on scholarships and have both contracted meaning we have a year to decide whether or not we would like to stay in ROTC and make a future of the Army. I'm a Criminal Justice major and her, a nursing major. I've dated around before her, especially now that I'm in college but never had feelings for anyone the way I do for her. She is a military "brat" and has lived in Germany, Japan and visited many countries so she has definitely seen more than I have...with that said, her dad is a retired Marine, very easygoing guy and doesn't mind me being Army. She has dated a bit but not as much as I, so she says anyway but I have listened and from what I here that's the way it sounds. As much as I don't want to bring this up, she is not an alchoholic or smoker nor would she do anything sexually before marriage, as little as all those may have to do, I figured it should be mentioned. I set aside almost all of my freetime for her and she does the same. It's way too early to think down the road so I'm not going to freak her out over the big "M" but I could see myself settling down with her. She's extremely intellegent but sometimes lacks common sense, one part I love about her yet can't stand sometimes. We've taken it fairly slow up until a month ago, we went up to Ohio for a week to see her friends and after the whole trip we could still stand each other. I guess my question to you ladies is, how can I tell if she's as serious as myself? and how much effort should I put into the relation be it time that I could be at work or hanging out with the guys. Also, what is everyone's opinion on her going to a night club with friends who are also seeing people but are drunk? She said it was girl's night out and I smelt no alcohol on her breath but I'm wary about the whole idea of her going again.

My advice would be don't worry about it.  You can't control other people and from how you have described her, she seems like a good loyal person.   If you worry about her going out with friends then the problem is really about you and your insecurity.  This will eat you up and then you worry about her coworkers, and what if you are deployed to other duty stations?

What you have to do is be mature yourself and abide by everything that your have learned in ROTC,  such as courage, candor, competence, and commitment.  

I married the first woman who would date me......I don't know shit about this stuff.  

I think you need to slow down a bit.  You're young, she's young, you're both facing major decisions and life changes in the near future, and you've only been dating 3 months.  

You are obviously insecure, but marriage won't fix that.  If you are worried about her going out with the ladies and checking her breath for alcohol, I'd say that you have some trust issues that you need to work out.  

It's great to spend time with her and enjoy the feelings you have right now, but do take time to pursue your own interests.  Work, play, hang out with your friends, and focus on school work.  If she is the right girl for you to settle down with, then it will happen in time.  

That's all I got at 1:15 am under the influence of benadryl.  I'm sure the other ladies will add some great advice.

I am insecure I'll admit because she is overly kind to everyone even if she cant stand them. So if some random guy comes up to her and initiates a conversation then she'll talk to him. Again, this doesn't irritate me so much but then I see some of the guys that try talking to her and their intentions. Like the club situation, I didn't care but the older girl that took her out was completely drunk and the club is seriously located in a ghetto, I myself wouldn't go down there alone especially at night. Greenville has one of the highest crime rates in the state.

Okay, my advise is if you both are going to be in the military you really need to think long and hard.It is hard enough for one person being in the military, never mind both.
Before you say I don't know what I am talking about,yes I do. I am ex-mil and met hubby while I was in.
The Army may have gotten somewhat better about spouses both serving, but I am not holding my breath on that one. Air Force is definitely better at keeping spouses stationed together.
One of the things my husband and I did while we were both in was decided work would stay at work, and anything home related would stay at home. Granted we worked together in the same shop, but should still apply with both of you. Otherwise it will strain your relationship.
Also remember there will be schooling, deployments, and who knows how often you will actually get to spend time together. Hubby and I worked opposite shifts, but we also made the time for us,you have to.
It isn't easy, but it can be done. For us personally we decided that it was easier for one of us to be in than both.
Good luck, it won't be an easy road for either of you.

I'm not one of the women, but I'll give my opinion. I don't think you should get in any deeper with her unless you can completely work through your trust issues. You're already doing little sneaky check-ups on her, and if you get married you'll get bolder and be a control freak that makes both of you miserable. Right now it's just in your head, but if you go further then it becomes her problem too. I've seen guys do this, and though I've never understood it I can see the pattern.
 Slow down (actually hit "Pause" on the relationship) until you can progress with no apprehension.