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Posted: 8/22/2004 3:06:40 PM EST
accused you of cheating when you didn't?
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:08:19 PM EST
Yup......

And she used it as an excuse to leave me.

I proved otherwise to her, but she left anyways.

Thats why I called it an excuse, and not a reason. I believe that she wanted to leave, came up with that excuse and then no amount of logic and reasoning afterwards would convince her. Hence why I think it was just an excuse.

She also has lots of other emotional and mental issues so I really am not supprised.

Chris
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:08:58 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/22/2004 3:09:36 PM EST by gaspasser]
Yes, all the time. It really pisses me off. The other days she found a pair of my underware in the guest bedroom. I have no idea how they got there. She asks who I've been with in there! I have all the stress of someone having an affair, without the sex! At least some sex would make it somewhat pleasurable.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:09:00 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/22/2004 3:09:13 PM EST by POWER03]
I only ask because I'm in the middle of this ridiculous BULLSHIT now!!!!!
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:12:49 PM EST
Grumpy - exact same story here.

Good riddence.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:14:54 PM EST
I broke up with a girl 3 years ago that to the best of my knowledge, still believes I left her for someone else, despite the fact that I didn't date anyone at all for well over a year after I broke up with her.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:18:24 PM EST
Had a girlfriend once who tried that shit.

Told her If I was going to be damed for guilty pretty soon I'd damn sure be guilty.

Damed if it wasn't long (about 2 hrs) before I WAS guilty.

The relationship didn't last and boy am I glad. I've been married to a great lady for 16 years now (my first and only wife) and she doesn't try that crap. I told her the story when we were dating.

Let her know then Make a decison.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:20:33 PM EST
Damnit, I don't even have a sig.

I'd prefer a Sig 220 tho. At least I can afford to feed that one

- BUCC_Guy
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:27:36 PM EST
My ex did that. She considered talking on the internet with girls that lived in other states that I'd been friends with for years "cheating". I signed up for a hotmail account to subscribe to an online mailing list for Sportsters, she accused me of cheating. I made friends with the secretary at work (a 200 lbs cuban girl that was married and had kids) and she accused me of cheating.

How ironic that she started emailing and chatting with a guy that she met at a wedding she was in (I was at this wedding and even met the prick). How ironic that after we broke up and she moved to Philly she moved in with him. How fucking entertaining when shit fell apart with him (he had serious rage issues and was dealing weed) she wanted to cry on my shoulder. How satisfying that I gave her the cold shoulder.

Bottom line? In my experience people accuse others of cheating because they are either doing it themselves, or are thinking of doing it. It's human nature to always assume that others have the same mindset/motivations/thoughts as you do.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:29:24 PM EST

Originally Posted By norman74:
My ex did that. She considered talking on the internet with girls that lived in other states that I'd been friends with for years "cheating". I signed up for a hotmail account to subscribe to an online mailing list for Sportsters, she accused me of cheating. I made friends with the secretary at work (a 200 lbs cuban girl that was married and had kids) and she accused me of cheating.

How ironic that she started emailing and chatting with a guy that she met at a wedding she was in (I was at this wedding and even met the prick). How ironic that after we broke up and she moved to Philly she moved in with him. How fucking entertaining when shit fell apart with him (he had serious rage issues and was dealing weed) she wanted to cry on my shoulder. How satisfying that I gave her the cold shoulder.

Bottom line? In my experience people accuse others of cheating because they are either doing it themselves, or are thinking of doing it. It's human nature to always assume that others have the same mindset/motivations/thoughts as you do.



Yup.....when you suspect someone else of something, for no real reason...look in the mirror. Look close enough, and you won't like what you see.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:31:36 PM EST
Mine accused me enough that I finally did.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:35:19 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/22/2004 3:36:15 PM EST by Ungwaha]
My girlfriend had a dream that I cheated one nite and smacked me in the back and woke me up.
I asked her WTF and she said I cheated on her. Next question "when and with who and did I look to be having fun?" Her answer "ASSHOLE!" I rolled over and went back to sleep. Told in the morning that she better trust me or leave. I am do damn loyal to cheat and I personaly don't condone it, but that is my feelings..

Ung.....out

PS. edited for bad grammar
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:39:36 PM EST

Originally Posted By inzane123:
Mine accused me enough that I finally did.


+1
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:43:05 PM EST
Nope, never. Neither I nor my wife have ever asked the other if we cheated. We never have either. I really do feel sorry for you guys that have gone thru this. My heart goes out to you.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:46:41 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 3:59:15 PM EST

Originally Posted By gaspasser:
Yes, all the time. It really pisses me off. The other days she found a pair of my underware in the guest bedroom. I have no idea how they got there. She asks who I've been with in there! I have all the stress of someone having an affair, without the sex! At least some sex would make it somewhat pleasurable.



Dude, that's seriously not good. If she's that insecure, she'll probably start cheating on you. BTDT.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:09:59 PM EST
Yeah, my wife has accused me of it. I barely have enought time to go to work and come home to take care of her. She is on disability and is home bound most of the time. Everything I do is for her, then she accuses me of this crap. It really pisses me off.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:16:22 PM EST

Originally Posted By POWER03:
I only ask because I'm in the middle of this ridiculous BULLSHIT now!!!!!




Yer not gonna like this but....

She prolly figgers if you'll bang her without making teh commitment of marriage, then commitment ain't nuthin' to you, and you'll prolly bang other women WHILE you are with her.

Admittedly, she's doin the same thing you are doing, but people NEVER think they are doing something wrong. Its always the OTHER GUY that's the dirtbag.

Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:19:31 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:23:29 PM EST

Originally Posted By POWER03:
accused you of cheating when you didn't?



No. Every time I was accused, I was guilty.


Seriously, no. We try to avoid situations that might make each other jealous; I think that helps.

Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:24:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By POWER03:
I only ask because I'm in the middle of this ridiculous BULLSHIT now!!!!!



Think that it is time to cut an run. Advise her that if she trusts you so little that you do not think that there is any where left to go in the relationship other than out. She will either shut up or go, either way you will be better off.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:25:47 PM EST
I do feel sorry for you guys. In the 20 years we have been married I have never accused my husband of that. He is very loyal and wouldn't even think of it.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:31:45 PM EST
Nope.


Step one: Find damn good woman.
Step two: Avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety.
Step three: Work 80-120 hours a week. Makes you focus on what's important.

Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:34:15 PM EST
I am too busy.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 4:40:05 PM EST

Originally Posted By MrsWildweasel:
I do feel sorry for you guys. In the 20 years we have been married I have never accused my husband of that. He is very loyal and wouldn't even think of it.




I am a loyal and very committed kind of guy too.

But that didn't stop my soon to be ex from accusing me of having an affair while she was in the middle of her own affair with one of her patients. (She is a registered nurse at a mental hospital by the way.)

We even faced some very hard times together where a lesser man would have left her. But I didn't. She was severely hurt during the birth of our daughter and was wheelchair bound for many months. Our family life took a dive, she withdrew, I withdrew, but I was still committed to her no matter what. I planned on growing old with her.

Look where my commitment and loyalty got me.

Trust is a hard thing for me to develop these days.

And suprisingly enough, I am not bitter about it. I now recognize that she did what she felt she had to do, and I am better off for it. Although our children are the ones who are really paying for her infidelity and poor decisions. I wish there was more I could do about it, but she and the courts won't let me.

Chris
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 5:42:16 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/22/2004 5:44:59 PM EST by inferno715]
my ex GF had jealousy issues. man, that pissed me off. she was the first to go out with someone new after we broke up this summer..even though she "loved me more than i loved her.." ,etc ad nauseum. fuck that looney tune bullshit. i would never have cheated on her but i was dumb enough to put up with her crap for a few years.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 6:45:19 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 8:12:55 PM EST
I have an opposite situation. I was engaged to a woman who went to visit a friend in NY and i had this feeling that she was gonna see an ex. Sure enough I was right. so I flew my ex out from NY and we screwed around. When my fiance came back she told me that she didnt know if she wanted the relationship anymore and she cant make up her mind. I told her that I was gonna make it easy for her, "Pack your stuff and leave the ring on the counter... Oh and while you were in NY, Maddy flew out and we screwed on the couch"

She didnt believe me..... BITCH!
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 8:15:14 PM EST
I learned that if they accuse you of something like that, they are more than likley guilty of it themselves
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 8:25:03 PM EST

Originally Posted By dpmmn:
I learned that if they accuse you of something like that, they are more than likley guilty of it themselves



Oh My God!!!

My wife accused me of cheating several times. It never happened. I had many chances, was hit on hard by several "friends", but I NEVER cheated.

My wife did.

Our divorce is final on 9/11.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 8:28:49 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/22/2004 8:30:11 PM EST by goodmedicine]
ETA Wrong post


GM
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 10:31:32 PM EST

Originally Posted By dpmmn:
I learned that if they accuse you of something like that, they are more than likley guilty of it themselves



isn't there a similar saying that goes "only liars expect others to be dishonest" ??? i said that to my ex when we were talking one night. i guess her mom had said the same thing to her.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 10:35:58 PM EST
I get accused all the tiem. It always makes for an interesting night. Have lots of friends that are women.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 10:51:47 PM EST
Yes. And no I wasn't.
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 11:26:14 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/23/2004 2:54:23 AM EST
ok now for the flip side. What is it that you are doing to make her think you are?
yes I accused my ex of this and he denied and denied so on and so on said I was crazy. Long story extreamly short. Well he was. So make her feel important do thoes little extra things for her that you used to do.
Link Posted: 8/23/2004 3:48:25 AM EST
Judging from my vast experience with women which has taught me absolutley nothing, I'd say she is either looking for an excuse to leave you, start an argument and leave you or she is seeing someone and thinks you're doing the same. There is one other possibility. That someone trying to come between you has planted that idea in her mind in order to split you up. Just my opinion.
Link Posted: 8/23/2004 3:49:59 AM EST
Nope.
Link Posted: 8/23/2004 3:52:50 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/23/2004 5:45:39 AM EST by Q3131A]
Link Posted: 8/23/2004 5:21:57 AM EST
I had a girlfriend and she suggested we car pool to work. Since I drove right past her office it was a fine idea, so I agreed. She would drive over to my house in the AM, I would drop her off on the way to work and pick her up on the way home.

A huge benifit for me was her wanting to please me while stuck in the normal stop and go traffic. She would slop the knob without out me even hinting just about EVERYDAY on the drive home. I was a happy camper and couldnt figure out why the sudden interest in road head. Well it turns out she was checking to see if I was banging my assistant at lunch time. The girlfriend thought she would taste or smell the other woman somehow. Although the girlfriend NEVER came right out and accused me she was did hint at it why she was happy to please.

Oh I did dump her after she cheated.............
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 6:39:36 AM EST
Grumpy..... Hopefully you will find someone that will return your loyalty just the same. I believed in the for better for worse part too. I took my marriage vows seriously,and we have had our times where our marriage has been tested,but we made it through and I think has made us stronger as a couple. Eventually you will be able to trust again, and find that it will be reciprocated. I wish you the best and just know that there are decent women out there.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 6:40:01 AM EST

Originally Posted By hielo:
Nope.

Link Posted: 8/25/2004 6:48:46 AM EST
I lived with a girl years ago and get this-she was a truly intelligent blonde-but had serious jealousy issues.

She'd accuse me of cheating if I came home 20-30minutes later than I said I would from hunting or fishing.

She NEVER had a good time if I took her out drinking with me and my friends, even though I went out of my way to pay attention to her and include her in our conversations. But if I went out without her, LOOK OUT when I came home.

Actually, in the final months of our relationship I DID cheat on her, but the writing was already on the wall and dried in regard to our relationship.

Shit, if it hadn't been for her ADMITTED jealousy problem I'd likely still be living in St. Louis, married with kids.

She was HOT and VERY UNINHIBITED between-or on top of-the sheets.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 7:12:04 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 7:29:45 AM EST
Never been accused and never made that accusation. I trust my hubby. I have dreamed that he cheated on me and woke up ready to kill him, but that was when I was pregnant. I was also aware that it was a dream.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 2:38:17 PM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
Never been accused and never made that accusation. I trust my hubby. I have dreamed that he cheated on me and woke up ready to kill him, but that was when I was pregnant. I was also aware that it was a dream.



LOL!!!

My ex slugged me after a dream like that!
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 2:45:32 PM EST
No never.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 3:02:28 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/25/2004 3:06:40 PM EST by Alacrity]

Originally Posted By gaspasser:
Yes, all the time. It really pisses me off. The other days she found a pair of my underware in the guest bedroom. I have no idea how they got there. She asks who I've been with in there! I have all the stress of someone having an affair, without the sex! At least some sex would make it somewhat pleasurable.



Heh - Try to explain some PANTIES in the guest room - PANTIES. She wasnt all that concerned with the "extramarital sex" per se, it was the fact that I concealed it from her. A trust issue. Odd heh - especially since there was no concealment - there was no goings on. I indicated I was as bewildered and kinda paranoid (dont like finding things I cant explain in my house) as she was. And that was it - we do trust each other since we are open and commited. /hallmarkmodeoff/

Turns out it was left over from our baby sitter the weekend before (dont get ideas - wife and I were out of town - together) She saw them in the mudroom couple of days later and claimed them. (NO idea WHY they were kept)

Turned out nicely. of course I lost all advantage, when I suggested, since she had so little issue with the "sex" part,as long as I cleared it with her, I could stray a bit.

How DO you prove a negative.

Luck
Alac
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 3:06:39 PM EST
Nope, but the oppisite has happened.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 3:07:45 PM EST

Originally Posted By POWER03:
I only ask because I'm in the middle of this ridiculous BULLSHIT now!!!!!




The SHE is the one probably doing the cheating.


I have learned that sometimes it is best to just laugh and walk away.

SGtar15
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 3:21:50 PM EST
My SIG accused me of cheating on it with the Beretta, but I could prove the Beretta had been locked in the safe the whole time.
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