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Posted: 9/4/2009 4:36:24 AM EST
I was talking to a co-worker after hearing a commercial for one of the "colon cleansing products"on the XM radio. We were wondering if these were scams, if they were safe to use, and if they would really work. We were talking about the rumor that has gone around: "John Wayne had about 40 something lbs in him when he died." If that was real, Damn it seems like it would be better to get that packed stuff out.

Has anyone here tried one of these, and are you willing to admit you tried it?

I remember getting a case of the squirts one time, and losing a ton of belly weight, so much my pants were loose in the waist. When I came back to work, everyone asked if I'd tried one of the above mentioned products, since my gut was noticeably flatter. So, if it actually works like this, I could understand. I felt a ton better, and I had energy too. It was soon fouled with burgers, and other stuff that's bad for you...........




Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:37:20 AM EST
Cheaper and quicker to go to McDonalds for a large coffee and Sausage McTimeBomb
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:38:25 AM EST

Originally Posted By Merrell:
Cheaper and quicker to go to McDonalds for a large coffee and Sausage McTimeBomb

I was going to suggest Taco Bell...




Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:38:40 AM EST
Vindaloo
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:38:41 AM EST
That many people in California can't be wrong...


Oh, wait a minute.....
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:38:45 AM EST
I just eat a whole head of raw cabbage - WHOOOOOOSH.......
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:39:21 AM EST
It is a scam.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:39:52 AM EST
Collard greens do the same thing.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:40:55 AM EST
Burger King Onion Rings


The original and best colon cleanser.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:41:40 AM EST
great big bowl of soup beans, onions, and corn bread.....


really thourogh cleansing of all that is ugly from the backside
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:44:41 AM EST
Just go for a colonoscopy. That will clean shit out of you that you didn't know you ate!
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:45:35 AM EST
I heard if you go to the doctor and they do it, you can lose 10lbs or more
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:46:02 AM EST
I ate some bad chicken once, that was a fuckin colon clensing
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:47:24 AM EST
Right along the lines of wearing the "MAGIC HEALING MAGNETIC BRACELETS". You Polish?
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:48:30 AM EST
Originally Posted By SplintNicket:
Collard greens do the same thing.


Everyone responds differently for different food items. Your body produces enzymes that breaks the food down. If you don't have the enzyme, such as lactose intolerance, eating that forbidden fruit (food) can have explosive results. Ask someone who knows.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:50:00 AM EST
there is a mexican food place at what we call the Y.... sweet christ that place will clean you out.... so yeah, almost weekly
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:50:20 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/4/2009 7:34:09 AM EST by Harvster]
The radio commercials actually understate the case. Most people have about 80-100 lbs stuck to the walls of there their intestines like spackle or paste.

ETA: There are some sarcasm meters here in serious need of recalibration.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:50:44 AM EST
If you use this EVERYTHING that isnt guts will come out of your ass......... Guaranteed!


Its about $3.00
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:50:45 AM EST
Scam.

Just buy some generic metamucil if you don't have enough fiber in your diet.

If there really was "stuff stuck to your intestinal walls like spackle" you would be in a lot of pain, very sick, and eventually die without medical treatment. Otherwise, your GI tract constantly engages in peristalis (muscle contractions to keep everything moving) and secretes mucus and various digestive substances from it's walls so things aren't sticking to them.

There is a condition called diverticulitis where you can get a bump or pocket on the sides of your GI tract where food/feces can get stuck, and that can cause pain and illness. It's controled through having a high-fiber diet, and avoiding foods with seeds or nuts that can pass through the GI tract whole and further irritate the diverticuli (the pockets). If they're bad enough, they get corrected with surgery.

The colon cleanse products are generaly just a huge overdose of psyllium fiber or similar products. This irritates the bowel, and the psyllium and extra mucus your bowel makes turns brown from bile and the normal digestive products, and then you get this huge slimy fiber-gel casting of your colon, and people think the fiber they ate from the cleaning product is the junk that it cleaned out.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:51:48 AM EST
Originally Posted By SplintNicket:
Collard greens do the same thing.


Nothin' in the world cleans you out better than a big ole batch of collard or mustard greens.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:52:39 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/4/2009 4:53:19 AM EST by TC6969]
Originally Posted By Harvster:
The radio commercials actually understate the case. Most people have about 80-100 lbs stuck to the walls of there intestines like spackle or paste.


Never mind. I'll let someone else tell you.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:53:05 AM EST
Originally Posted By PowerSlave:
I was talking to a co-worker after hearing a commercial for one of the "colon cleansing products"on the XM radio. We were wondering if these were scams, if they were safe to use, and if they would really work. We were talking about the rumor that has gone around: "John Wayne had about 40 something lbs in him when he died." If that was real, Damn it seems like it would be better to get that packed stuff out.




Colon Cleanse doesn't work on tumors.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:53:13 AM EST
Pringles lite

Eat the whole can (Can and all if you wish)

Wait a few hours, wait for it, waaaait!!


WHOOSH!
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:53:36 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:54:47 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/4/2009 4:56:09 AM EST by oulufinn]
Simply adding more fiber to your regular diet will help more than an occasional attempt to purge past neglect. A bowl of High Fiber Bran Cereal per day is a good start. Then work in something like MODERATE amounts of Psyllium Husk. Don't try too much at once. If you do, take video!
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:55:20 AM EST
They tell you to quit eating and drink their magic juice for a couple of days. Eventually you crap out a horrid ass demon. You think to yourself 'I didn't eat anything where did this ass demon come from??!?!?? This stuff really works!'

When really the magic juice was full of clay and psyllium which is what the ass demon is made of, nothing that was 'stuck to your colon walls like spackle or paste.'

It is bullshit for the gullible. It is a pretty good guideline if someome talks to you about 'toxins' or any kind of ass cleaner that they are full of shit and retarded.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:55:39 AM EST
Originally Posted By dirtface:
there is a mexican food place at what we call the Y.... sweet christ that place will clean you out.... so yeah, almost weekly


Ruidoso?
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:56:08 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/4/2009 4:56:53 AM EST by dirtface]
yes sir^
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:56:14 AM EST
Quaker oatmeal FTW
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 4:58:04 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/4/2009 5:05:05 AM EST by reconBYfire]
I did a body detox at the recommendation of my doc. Went through another Doc that specializes in war veteran detox and health. The first 2 days I shit duraflame logs. Big poop and lots of it. Lost some unneeded weight and felt better after the 30 day detox.

edit: If you are near Kalamazoo, Mich...I would be happy to give you her info. Send me a PM.
One of the issues they have found is that some folks serving in the desert are getting parasites in their body. The VA never told me that but an independent study by Docs and scientists did. Her son served overseas, had issues, & detoxed too.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:11:50 AM EST
Originally Posted By TC6969:
If you use this EVERYTHING that isnt guts will come out of your ass......... Guaranteed!
http://www.pmslb.com/system/images/products/phospho%20soda.gif

Its about $3.00


this one may cause kidney failure
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:12:25 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/4/2009 5:19:28 AM EST by 1Bigdog]
Here is the simple answer......

Most of the cleansing product that you consume with these kits is a combination of bentonite and abrasive fillers like ground up corn cob husks. When you mix this stuff with water and drink it, it solidifies in your intestines and forms a "rope" like bowel movement.

The scam part is they try to convince you that this "rope" was actually originally in your intestines....which it was not.



Now that aside........

As this rope travels through your small and large intestines, the "rope" brings out with it a lot of God awful rancid slime that has been in the pockets of your small intestine thereby providing a good and needed cleansing of your system.

Final answer........What you think is happening is a scam......but what is also taking place is very beneficial.

Do it.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:13:00 AM EST
like spackel or paste..........
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:16:56 AM EST
Originally Posted By Gloftoe:
Originally Posted By Harvster:
The radio commercials actually understate the case. Most people have about 80-100 lbs stuck to the walls of there intestines like spackle or paste.




You don't actually BUY that bullshit fact, do you?





Whadda ya mean bullshit?

I took a shot of colon cleanser and lost 142 pounds!


Really!


Would I lie to you?




To the OP.

Try Ex-Lax. It's so strong it can beat the shit out of Superman!

Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:20:03 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:23:17 AM EST
Originally Posted By B-O-A-T-S:
Just go for a colonoscopy. That will clean shit out of you that you didn't know you ate!





That's what I told my brother-in-law when he was talking about doing it... just get some of the meds they give you to clean you out, why waste 10 days. Now the dude wants to get a handgun, lives right across the street from an elementary school, and already bought these freak-ass looking .40 cal hollow point bullets for relaoding.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:25:13 AM EST
my colon is self-cleansing, no product needed
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:29:02 AM EST
Originally Posted By TC6969:
If you use this EVERYTHING that isnt guts will come out of your ass......... Guaranteed!
http://www.pmslb.com/system/images/products/phospho%20soda.gif

Its about $3.00


THIS!!
There is also a prescription that the Dr gives when you get a colonoscopy that will clear any and everything out.

The colon cleanse is a scam.

Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:35:22 AM EST

Originally Posted By Harvster:
The radio commercials actually understate the case. Most people have about 80-100 lbs stuck to the walls of there intestines like spackle or paste.

LOL!!!

i'm in GI medical sales and I asked on of my GI docs who's been a specialist for almost 30 years and 50k scopes, never is their such a thing or even 5 lbs of impacted fecal matter.

and those kinds of cleansers claims all natural - but the senna crap is bad for you long term.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:37:34 AM EST
Poop threads stink !
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:39:33 AM EST
Originally Posted By SplintNicket:
Collard greens do the same thing.





So do prunes.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:41:24 AM EST

Originally Posted By CletusRoundbelly:
Burger King Onion Rings


The original and best colon cleanser room clearer.


Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:42:18 AM EST
Originally Posted By armoredsaint:

Originally Posted By Harvster:
The radio commercials actually understate the case. Most people have about 80-100 lbs stuck to the walls of there intestines like spackle or paste.

LOL!!!

i'm in GI medical sales and I asked on of my GI docs who's been a specialist for almost 30 years and 50k scopes, never is their such a thing or even 5 lbs of impacted fecal matter.

and those kinds of cleansers claims all natural - but the senna crap is bad for you long term.


Yep, even a few pounds of something "stuck" would be a bowel obstruction and you'd be getting hospitalized with pains/fever pretty quickly.

It's complete bullshit.

A really big bowel movment and complete evacuation of your bowels *might" be beneficial because it could cause high turnover in your intestinal flora, and it could come back at a better balance of bacteria that improves your GI function. However, there's just as much chance that you could get more of the less desireable bacteria, and get constipated etc...

Just eat lots of fruit/vegetables, whole grains/bran, or take a big heaping spoonful of psyllium powder every day, and some yogurt to up the number of good bugs in your gut.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:43:44 AM EST
You'd be better off eating a box of raisin bran and wiping your ass with the money you would have spent on that snake oil.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:45:14 AM EST
Originally Posted By TC6969:
If you use this EVERYTHING that isnt guts will come out of your ass......... Guaranteed!
http://www.pmslb.com/system/images/products/phospho%20soda.gif

Its about $3.00


That or a bottle of Magnesium Citrate, or as I like to call it "Shitrate". It's in the same spot in the store where they keep the other laxatives.



Yeah you'll lose weight on this stuff- about 5 pounds of water and shit that you'll gain right back in a few days.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:45:17 AM EST
Jiminy Christmas this place has more interest in their stool samples than the dame Germans!
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 5:57:19 AM EST
Any amount of meat rotting inside you would kill you in short order. There is no 40lbs of red meat blah blah blah. It's marketing bullshit.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 6:03:52 AM EST

Originally Posted By Harvster:
The radio commercials actually understate the case. Most people have about 80-100 lbs stuck to the walls of there intestines like spackle or paste.

So I'm really not going to weigh 130lbs after my super colon blow?
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 6:09:35 AM EST

Originally Posted By Gloftoe:
Originally Posted By Harvster:
The radio commercials actually understate the case. Most people have about 80-100 lbs stuck to the walls of there intestines like spackle or paste.




You don't actually BUY that bullshit fact, do you?


Pretty sure there are a couple erroneous zeros in there. I'd go with 8 to 10 in a worst case scenario.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 6:10:37 AM EST

Originally Posted By teamroper:
Originally Posted By TC6969:
If you use this EVERYTHING that isnt guts will come out of your ass......... Guaranteed!
http://www.pmslb.com/system/images/products/phospho%20soda.gif

Its about $3.00


this one may cause kidney failure

That's why God gave you a spare.
Link Posted: 9/4/2009 6:13:03 AM EST

Originally Posted By Torqued:

Originally Posted By Merrell:
Cheaper and quicker to go to McDonalds for a large coffee and Sausage McTimeBomb

I was going to suggest Taco Bell...

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r253/Torqued713/62df31ff0888f250afb15d3ro3.gif



Oh man, that's full of fail.
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