No shit, this really happened. . . .

[url]http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=180655[/url]

[i]Published on Monday, March 18, 2002[/i]
[b]Man Wins Miss Harvard Title[/b]

[i]By LAUREN R. DORGAN
Crimson Staff Writer[/i]

Self-proclaimed "queen" William L. Adams '04 won the Miss Harvard title -- silver crown and crimson sash included -- and along the way garnered several standing ovations, roses and even articles of clothing from a capacity crowd at Leverett House dining hall Friday night.

The audience raucously applauded the evening's varied entertainment, which ranged from flamenco-inspired Spanish dance and a Tae Kwon Do combat scene to an interpretative painting with roller skates, among many other humorous and unusual segments.

The pageant took place beneath a rainbow-colored "Miss Harvard" banner decorated with "VANITAS" seals. After introducing themselves in a "First Impressions" segment, contestants strutted their stuff in the beachwear portion and faced off in a talent show. The three finalists also endured short interviews.

Four women and four men competed for two awards -- the Miss Harvard title, which was judged by four University administrators, and a Miss Congeniality distinction that the contestants voted on themselves.

The men were clearly the winners of the evening. They swept both awards, and only one of the three finalists for Miss Harvard was, in fact, a woman.

And the women might not get another chance. Adams, who competed under the pseudonym "Anita Mann," could be the first and last holder of the Miss Harvard title.

The pageant's sponsors, IMPACT -- a group that raises funds for children in developing nations -- say that the $970 profit they earned might not make up for the amount of work that went into making Miss Harvard happen.

"We tend to repeat successful events, but this was very taxing in terms of work for planning, much more so than say, our dance, which garnered more profits," IMPACT President Laura P. Perry '04 wrote in an e-mail. "It will depend on the feeling of the board next year."

W. Lucien Smith '03, a veteran of the Immediate Gratification Players improv troupe, emceed the pageant. Although he said he is a novice to the beauty pageant scene, he won the crowd early with an uncanny impression of President Bill Clinton.

"Throughout my career, public and private, there have been two things I have had an unwavering commitment to," the Mississippi native began in flawless Southern drawl, giving a Clinton-esque thumbs-up. "One is underdeveloped nations. The other is women in tight little dresses."

Though the eventual Miss Harvard winner was originally not one of the eight undergraduates IMPACT selected as contestants, Adams was asked to compete early last week after another contestant dropped out.

"I only had half as much time as the other contestants to prepare," he said.

So Adams, who is also a Crimson editor, said he had a midterm, an essay, a response paper and a quiz last week, recruited fans and assistants to help with the execution of his role. He sent his friends a mass e-mail pleading for their help with clothes, coaching and shopping.

The Fayetteville, Ga., native said he had experience with drag beauty pageants, in the form of mock high school "Miss Tiger" competitions, which he said he won twice.

Most of all, Adams and the contestants mocked typically vapid, fluffy beauty pageants.

"I grew up biracial," Adams told the crowd. "A vote for me would improve Asian-American relations and send a message to the world that race doesn't define beauty -- I do."

Poking fun at the glib answers to typical beauty pageant questions, several of the contestants told the judges they were competing on behalf of "Harvard peace" and "world peace."

The judges, a panel of four administrators -- including a community relations official, a senior tutor, and a House master --laughed along with the audience.

Adams Master Judith Palfrey '67 said that she had no qualms about judging the performance.

"I know about the IMPACT group," Palfrey said. "This is both fun but they're also very serious about the fact that they're raising money for children."

The judges and audience both shook with laughter during Adams' baton-twirling routine to the tune of "It's Raining Men." Adams dropped his batons midway through but shrugged and went on dancing -- and the audience went on laughing even harder.

In a burst of enthusiasm, Adams' friend Jim L. Stillwell '04 tore off his shirt and threw it on the stage.

"I just wanted to support my man in his hour of need," Stillwell said during the pageant's intermission. "But based on the swimwear competition, he doesn't need it."

Contestant Joseph S. Linhart '03, who left the pricetags dangling from his plus-sized dresses from Oona's costume shop, said the pageant gave him a new "appreciation for maternity wear," won the "Miss Congeniality" award by vote of the other contestants.

Stillwell attributed the men's success to the fact that the male contestants worked hard to be women.

"[Girls] are so used to being girls. They don't have to try," Stillwell said. "But when you're up against Will Adams, you'd better be good, because he definitely is."

--Staff writer Lauren R. Dorgan can be reached at [email protected]

I can sum this story up in one sentance:

[b]HARVARD DRAG QUEENS DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN![/b]

Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)

Black Betty had a child (bam-ba-lam)
The damn thing gone wild (bam-ba-lam)
She said' "I'm worryin' outta mind" (bam-ba-lam)
The damn thing gone blind (bam-ba-lam)
I said oh, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)

Oh, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)

She really gets me high (bam-ba-lam)
You know that's no lie (bam-ba-lam)
She's so rock steady (bam-ba-lam)
And she's always ready (bam-ba-lam)

Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)

(solo)

Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)

She's from Birmingham (bam-ba-lam)
Way down in Alabam' (bam-ba-lam)
Well, she's shakin' that thing (bam-ba-lam)
Boy, she makes me sing (bam-ba-lam)

Whoa, Black Betty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Black Betty BAM-BA-LAM


By Ram Jam

[img]http://www.lpconnect.com/pb2/chips.jpg[/img]

That's sad.  The prettiest girl at Harvard, is a guy!  I feel sorry for the male students there.z

Just another prime example that education has nothing to do with intelligence.

I can't imagine this happening at a more appropriate locale - Harvard.

Eric The(IsThatADiplomaMiss,OrAreYouJustHappyToSeeMe?)Hun[>]:)]

True, true.  Back in school, I realized that the more I learned the less I knew.  I just figured when I was done, I'd know nothing.  Turned out to be pretty much true... [:D]

[rolleyes][rolleyes][rolleyes]

[img]http://www.thecrimson.com/media/3-18-2002/thumb-pic-777.jpg[/img]
The crowning moment, as WILLIAM L. ADAMS '04 (third from l) is announced to be the winner of the 2002 Miss Harvard Pageant.

A motley crew of dudes

With the probable discontinuation of the pageant, a MALE Miss Harvard will be a fitting and deserving end to a Harvard tradition.

No wonder these little crap hole countries believe they can take us. After all, Harvard which is supposed to be one of our finest institutions has crap like this going on...

He won because he had the best rack.  Always happens that way.