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6/2/2020 2:34:59 PM
Posted: 1/2/2003 1:02:57 PM EDT
With apologies to Abbott and Costello:

HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi!  Nice to see you.  What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George:  Great.  Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi:  That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you.  Who is the new leader of China?
Condi:  Yes.
George:  I mean the fellow's name.
Condi:  Hu.
George:  The guy in China.
Condi:  Hu.
George:  The new leader of China.
Condi:  Hu.
George:  The Chinaman!
Condi:  Hu is leading China.
George:  Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi:  I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George:  Well, I'm asking you.  Who is leading China?
Condi:  That's the man's name.
George:  That's who's name?
Condi:  Yes.
George:  Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George:  Yassir?  Yassir Arafat is in China?  I thought he was in the
Middle East.
Condi:  That's correct.
George:  Then who is in China?
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George:  Yassir is in China?
Condi:  No, sir.
George:  Then who is?
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George:  Yassir?
Condi:  No, sir.
George:  Look, Condi.  I need to know the name of the new leader of
China.  Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi:  Kofi?
George:  No, thanks.
Condi:  You want Kofi?
George:  No.
Condi:  You don't want Kofi.
George:  No.  But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George:  Not Yassir!  The guy at the U.N.
Condi:  Kofi?
George:  Milk!  Will you please make the call?
Condi:  And call who?
George:  Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi:  Hu is the guy in China.
George:  Will you stay out of China?!
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George:  And stay out of the Middle East!  Just get me the guy at the
U.N.
Condi:  Kofi.
George:  All right!  With cream and two sugars.   Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi:  Rice, here.
George: Rice?  Good idea.  And a couple of egg rolls, too.  Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China.  And the Middle East.  Can you get
Chinese food in the Middle East?



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