there is this  who is in my school, but as most of you know i am 17 almost 18, and she likes me. the problem is, she is 14.  if she were older, i would most defenatly go out with her, but i have a problem going out with such a young person. How do i let her know i am not interested with out crushing her like a bug?

Screw her older sister.

Date her.  Don't dump her.

Is dating that girl worth being charged as a sex offender for statuory rape, being branded a sex offened for life, losing your 2nd Amendment rights, and putting  a serious damper on your ability to get liscenced at anything and have a decent life? If you think that inexperienced poon tang is worth being Jaamal's boyfriend for a year or two in some concrete hotel, then by all means follow raven's advice.

Remember that the 'indecency with a minor', or what is known as 'statutory rape' is defensible if you're three years or less older than she is.

Don't ask me why I know this... LOL

do you want to date her? what for, sex or company? youre probably better off with someone closr to your age. your life is going to change a lot in the next 2 years, dont drag her in to it unless youre serious.

be honest, tell her you think she's too young, and to come looking for you when she's 18.

The difference between 14 and 18 is huge.  What do her parents think of it?  If they think she's mature enough to hang-out with you, then it's probably ok.  If not, they probably know best.  If she'd have to keep it a secret from her parents, then run!  You don't want to tangle with a father over his little girl if he found-out.  They're larger and meaner than you.


Blame it on the parents if they won't allow it, introduce her to one of your younger friends, or make her not want to go out with you are a few ideas.z

If you don't want to date her, just be honest with her....you are uncomfortable with her age. For what it's worth though, I know plenty of 17 year olds that date 14 year olds. If her parents are ok with it then it shouldn't be that much of an issue. But just use good judgement and don't get yourself into trouble whatever you decide.

I should stay out of this, because if you follow my advice, you'll probably go to the house ( and I don't mean the Spice House)


P.S. Walk down the hill and F**k 'em all

P.S.S. God, I love stippers

At both of your ages, it seems like if you don't do something immediately that the world will end... ::dramatic sigh::  

I suggest this... be honest with her.  Tell her she is too young but that you want to be her friend.  And by "friend" I don't mean hanging out all the time so that it seems like you're dating but you just haven't officially said so.  Too much hanging out could also lead to temptation... and handcuffs... and not in the good way.... [}:D]  

Go on with your life and date other, older girls and let her grow up.  In a few years, see if you two are still in contact and feel the same way... you never know.

The WORST thing you could do is start something knowing you can't finish it and knowing it will end badly.  You two won't even be on speaking terms after that.

Just be honest with her. Even if she is hurt, it will pass and you will have done the right thing.

its not what her parents feel if its ok or not.  I dont think it is.  There for instead of "screwing her older sister"  (which she doesnt have), or getting busted for 'statutory , i am going to not go out with her, because i think it is wrong to have that huge age gap.  it is a good idea to blame it on my parents.  i will use that maybe, or maybe i will just tell her, "its just not right." therefore i will tell her to find someone her own age.  

Ummm.. you DO realize that most strippers have incredibly sad histories, yes?  Almost every single one of them has been molested, raped and/or beaten.  

I used to think it wasn't that big of a deal... guys going to strip bars.  My opinion has changed as of late.  [:(]

Tell her that you are gay....and show her this picture of your boyfriend.

[img]http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/Imagezz/font_bunny.jpg[/img]

ONLY MissMagnum came close.


NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Throw away perfectly good female opportunities. Feamles in high school network and you can destroy 10 opportunities with every female you toss.

Now I am NOT saying you should nail a 14 year old. What I am saying is when you are 22, she will be 18.

If you like her at all, tell her you "really like her" but just can't because she is too young. It will make her feel wanted and tell her freinds how great you are, including her older friends.

If you have ZERO interest in her, tell her "maybe is she was older but she is way too young right now", you still will come off clean. And in 4 years she may just grow a body you would be interested in.

But once again...


NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Throw away perfectly good female opportunities.

I can't stress that point enough.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Throw away perfectly good female opportunities.

In ten years you will kick your own ass if you do.

New perspective.
I have a daughter soon to be 14.

If her Dad is anything like me....I'd suggest that you date someone else.

As someone said, if she still has the warms for you when she's 18 (if it's my little girl, when she's 32 or I'm dead), then you can proceed with a legal legitimate courtship.....

Cheers

Steyr has it right on this one...she'll be 18 before you know it [:D]

where did you find these super gay pictures!  

14'll get you 20....

However, Never underestimate the value of early training and proper breaking in.

Dude, DUDE!  14 years old!  That's one year over the legal limit in Japan.  If you don't do this, you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life.  

Case for sleeping with her:

When you were 14 did you tell your parents about everything?  IE  "Hey Mom, I totally popped a boner watching that work-out video with Anna Kournikova"  No, you wouldn't say that, expecially at 14.  Maybe now you would, but that's between you and your mother.  

This chick isn't going to run to her mom and dad and tell them that she "just got buggered by this guy 4 years older than me"  She's going to keep it secret.  

Point 2:

Keep your mouth shut and you'll get away with it.  Imagine you ruining this girl for life!  Being her "first" one, I'm sure you can think of mean/funny things to tell her during sex to really mess with her head.  IE:

During one really mean "grudge fuck" say in a loud voice:

"The power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you"

or:

"Hey, Mike my buddy wants to try a DP! I'll let you come over and watch the Brittney Spears concert on HBO if you do"

"Two girls are better than one, especially if those two are your older sister and your mom"

"You're Fat" (this one is good to keep her around, the more you keep her self-esteem low the longer she'll stay.  Mean but effective.)

"Will it hurt?  Sure it will!  With that small frame of yours I'll be lucky if you don't snap in half"

From one man to another, just do it.

14 is way to young for you.  She's really too young to even be dating in my opinion.  All she's really ready for is a little hand holding in a movie theater (preferably watching a Disney movie, but that's just my "inner Daddy" talking.

Here's some practical advice:

You are 17 going on 18, a senior or a junior in high school.  You are gonna be outta that school and likely out of that town before too long, either in college or working in the real world (boy won't you miss school then.) Once you get out of high school your priorities and interests are going to realign a bit and  frankly, the interests of a high school girl 3 years younger than you aren't gonna matter much...especially if you go to college.

Maturity levels:  A 14 year old is a 12 year old who graduated out of the training bra.  Barbie dolls and even Barney aren't all that far behind her.  Emotional maturity?  She ain't even begun to build that up yet.  She's still getting thrown for a loop big-time by the monthly visitor and her hormones are all out of whack. You really don't need to deal with that no matter how cute she is. Not that older women are any easier to cope with, but at least they hide it better.

Sexual politics: She doesn't even begin to understand that.  Most girls in that age range pretty much just want to hang out with boys, hold hands and put on the airs of dating and romance.  Sex is only a theoretical concept to them that may hold some excitement, but I really, really hope they aren't truly interested in getting involved with it.  You on the other hand, if you are a normal 17 year old boy, pretty much wanna have sex.  Frankly neither of you are really ready for that, but you'll likely ignore that statement anyhow.

Parents:  Kncok up their daughter and the girl's parents are gonna be looking for blood. If it were my daughter, you wouldn't even know where it was coming from, just one day while walking down the street, things would go black and next thing you knew you'd be in hell. No muss, no fuss, no bother. But then I'm a cold blooded bastard and am overly protective of my kids. ;))

Find someone older who you actually have more in common with than each of you looking good to one another at the moment.

Let her down easy to be certain.  Be nice, be kind, be flattering, but be clear. Don't blame it on your parents, because then you become a challenge and the whole fruit of the forbidden tree thing comes into it. Just make it plain that you think she is too young, but that if she looks you up when she hits 18, all bets are off.  You'll look better to everyone that way.

Girls can be catty when their feelings get hurt, however, at 14 years old, who does she know that can hurt you romantically speaking?  If you are looking at girls in the 17-18 year old range, what does it matter if this girl does manage to get hurt, despite your best efforts and starts whining to her friends?  All her friends are 14 and 17 and 18 year old girls don't pay them too much mind.

He is totally right.

[url]http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/[/url]

When in doubt, double tap.

Yes.  Like I said before, go for it.  I was in a similar situation when I was a senior in high school.  It's unusual for senior guys to date freshman, but not so unusual anyone really says anything about it to your face.  Her parents might not like it, but do you really care about that?  Do you want to be their friends or something?

Unless you have immediate prospects in your age range, go with this chick.

Miss Magnum,
With all due respect, I have known a few "ecdysiasts" and not a one had a crappy self image. Most simply never got over that toddler stage where they would strip off their clothes and run around public places. They were well paid exhibitionists. I wouldn't think to raise a hand to any woman, but to these girls? Most were armed due to past experiences with s**thead patrons. I don't know if they were raped perviously, but pity the man who tries next. And if they were beaten, the scars and bruises didn't show. If they were molested, then theye were getting revenge, because it is a torture to see heaven inches from your hands and to be forbidden to touch it. Just my .02

How are things in the Diocese Father?

Mis Magnum, you are right... I used to do the intake questions for woman prisoners. Do you have a job? I am an exotic dancer/stripper/ junky/hooker.

Kid in 5 years you will regret not going out with the 14 year old....don't be a dope, and miss an oppurtunity. Don't you realize when you were 14 and could not get a date it was because the 14 yo girls were going out with the 17 yo guys.....fair is fair, now it is your turn.

You said it... YOU DON'T KNOW what happened to them before.  And, believe me when I say that women can hide, lie about and fake much more that you men will ever catch on to.  Just because someone carries themselves like they are all that doesn't mean they believe it.  

Stripping has NOTHING to do with sex... it has to do with the ILLUSION of sex.  You are paying these women to pretend that you are the sexy stud of their dreams... and convince you of it, too.  

A lot of the women don't enjoy sex... many don't even like men.  

The industry is not all about dressing up and playing exhibitionist and having fun.  There is another side that is not so movie-set perfect.

All I'm saying is that before I had only seen one side and I didn't think it was a big deal.  Now, having seen the whole picture (and, NO, I was not stripping), I think it is a horrible business.    

I can't help it, I still love strippers

dude, from someone who's pretty close to your age, i'm telling ya, don't date her.  say something like "our age difference is a little too significant right now" (for your sake make it sound a little more smooth than that), and then just drop the matter.  don't be afraid to keep in touch (although it needs to be somewhat distant)  but don't let yourself get too close to her.  my .02

MissMagnum,

I think strippers are a different type of person... I used to live with one... talk about psycho bitch!  LOL.   Until about a couple months ago (I'm 25 now, mind you), I had never been to a 'tittybar'.  I went with a buddy for his birthday.

Although some of those women were damn hot... I wouldn't care to touch them with my buddy's d&*(.

1.  Be honest for crying out loud!  Good habit to get into now and healthy women appreciate it more than anything except maybe not being the "jealous type" (maybe not in teenage years though).  
Just tell her that although you're diggin' her you are uncomfortable about the age factor.  If you try and pass it off on your parents, you are skirting the issue.  Grow some sack.

2.  At that age, you are taking a risk.  I would advise against it, but keep the option open!  You never know what could happen down the road.  Hang with her a bit, and dig a little further, see what she is really like, assess the risks vs. rewards.  Sex is not something you have to get into either.  Also, keep in the back of your mind that if you lead her on too much, she may get vengeful and claim statutory on your ass to get back at you for some percieved slight.  NOT GOOD!  This is why you should talk this over with your parents.  Depending on how cool they are, they may have some insight that would be more relevant to you than AR15.com musings.

3.  If all else fails, just forget about the girls for a couple months and concentrate on your homework.   Something I wish I had done!!!

My $.02 FWIW.

P.S.  The one stripper I knew "beyond the bar" was divorced from a man who beat her and had the same when she was young from her family.  But that's only one...not much of a statistical model.

I think MM is right, stripping is about the illusion of sex. It's just not real. I'm not against stripping per se because some people obviously enjoy it a great deal, but I just don't think of it very highly.

If you put it in perspective, sex without some emotional component is just repetitive mechanical motion, much like me typing right now. It's all just physics.

Instead of a strip bar, why don't you get a nice girlfriend?

Listen to what SteyrAUG said.  He has obviously went through that experience, as several of US have.  Never let an opportunity pass.  Put it on the back burner, yes, but don't let it go.

Known a few "dancers". All they wanted was money. Hated men. Disliked sex. Used drugs to get through the night. Sad people. I'd never date one. Ever.

As for the 14 Y/O..... Do yourself a favor and call one of your Ex's for a quickie. With a postcoital perspective you'll think a lot less about that kid. Don't make a big deal of it, for petes sake. She likes you just because you're a cool older man. Stay cool. She'll adjust. Maybe in a few years... :')

And it should be  "Chicken blood. Chicken blood!"

Ok, here's my take. I have to agree a little with Steyer (we live in the same area after all, but that's just how it is here).  NEVER miss an opportunity to hang with a chick. The only problem with that is if you don't handle it correctly, at 14, she's got years to trash you to everyone she knows, and everyone they know.  If you live in a small area, don't even bother coming home from school (if you choose college) because you're just wasting your time. Your rep will suck.  

In all seriousness, a girl 14 years old is really too young for any serious relationship, especially a sexual one (if it comes to that, don't take that for granted that she'll be up for that). She needs time to grow and experience life, to find out who she is, and to develop, mentally and physically.  If you hold off now, be cool about things and make her feel good about herself while telling her truthfully what's going on, at 18 or 19 (if someone else doesn't have your morals, and screws her up) she may be REAL girlfriend material.  Stay in touch, stay friends, but don't cross that line until she's older.  Anyway, at your age you should be practicing on older girls (read college girls or older). You'll learn much about being a man (the right kind of man, not the kind of guy that girls complain about), and an "older" girl for you is still pretty young. Your friends will also be impressed at how mature you are.  

Hope this advice helped, at least a little.

Shoot-n-Fish    

This is my story and I'm sticking to it. Been there, done that. I started dating a girl that was 14, me 18. It was love at first sight (in heat at first sight?) About a year later, she was pregnant and we got married. We'll celebrate 30 years of marriage in August. I'm not saying all will be roses, but she may just be Miss Right.

Fred

If you don't want to hurt her feelings, do not tell her that she is too young. Tell her you are too old . I think this way would hurt her feelings less.

ARH

It's only three years... I would call a lawyer and find out what the age of concent laws are in your area...
Just be nice/kind to the girl whatever happens.

Have to agree with ARH, tell her that you are too old for her at the present time.  This will hurt her feelings less, but leaves open the possibility that you might like to date her in the future when she's of legal age.  If you like her, stay friends with her and see what happens when she's older. 14 to 17 is a big age gap, but 18 to 22 isn't such a big age gap.

Many woman pornographic movie "actors," are victims of sexual abuse.
 


I have been to a top less bar once because a friend worked the door there.  

The women that worked there didn't seem to be chained to the poles.  I bet they were there by CHOICE and are well compensated for their "labors."

 As matter of fact it was a slow day and some came over and chatted for awhile.

why does this remind me of Pokemons? It's like, hey, I'm going to collect underaged girls and train them to do battle in the sack. Don't you wish you can just store them? If you ever have a dryspell just pop one out and get your fix.

Train 'em, Trade 'em, Gotta catch'em all, right?

Edited to say that I'm not a misogynist. This was done in spirit of satire.

Dude,
Date a 30 year old.   Let her teach you the way.
Skip the 20 year old head cases.  Go straight to Nirvana.
Then when your little princess turns 18 she will really think you are special.
She will think you are the NINJA with the most smooth moves.
Besides, if she were my daughter you would be looking down the wrong end of a black rifle.

What he said!!  Older women rule!!

Tell her that you're gay and that ought to do it.  ROTFLMAO

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER tell a girl you are gay.

MrsMattja, please refrain from dispensing advice on any topic while we review your credentials...

Not being so far out of Drafatable age myself, I realize that today's kids are sexually active much earlier in life (try 12?  GOOD LORD!).  However this does not make it right or legal.

My friend, you have the right idea...keep her in the friends/hang out category, but that's where it stops, for safety.  I agree with growing some nads and taking the responsiblity for the decision upon your own shoulders, which, from seeing your posts, I don't think is such a far stretch.  You've got the strength of character to make a decision amid the heady rush of sweet young poontang.  Stick to your decision and it may pay off in a couple of years, OR...you may find out in those two years that she was looking for a sucker to knock her up and some other poor bastard is now lookin down both barrels of daddy's shotgun at the altar and you might find yourself saying "My God I'm SO glad that's not ME!"

Just my .02

And for the record, I almost went to work as a doorman (read bouncer) at a strip bar, until I found out what they were paying.  I guess a guy isn't there for the money, they think, but as a professional I guess I saw it differently.  The girls...well, let's just say that they were nice on the eyes, but I didn't need the baggage.  Almost dated one once.

Once.

Again, just my .02

Panz
[bounce]