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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 5/5/2004 6:15:37 AM EDT
i have a "buddy" wanting to sell me his pistol. He is in finacial problems because of some really STUPID decisions on his part. He is one of those guys that always needs money if you know what i am talking about.

2 years ago he bought a STAR firestar 45 for 275.00 at a gun show. now he wants to sell it to me for cash. The pistol is pretty rough. left rubber grip panel is cut and needs to be replaced. finish is worn <starvel stainless>. he brought it to me to look over yesterday and i cleaned it up. mechanicaly it's in good shape but i would rate it about 80-85%. It's obviously seen some usage and not been well maintained.

I don't really want it or need it. He wanted to sell it for 325 <i told him he will never get it>. Blue book is 185 at best. I considered loaning him the cash and keeping the pistol until he could buy it back but that would never happen.

Should i buy it to help this guy out? If i decide to do it i considered offering him 200.00 <yea i know above book>. I he needs the cash but i also think he will be right back next month broke and depressed again. I have the money and 200.00 wouldn't kill me. I am torn between wanting to help the guy out and not wanting bail him out again.

He is not what i consider a close friend but is a good guy.

Any suggestions?

mike
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:21:50 AM EDT

Neither a borrower, nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend


-Polonius in Hamlet-

If he really is a "good guy" but will be "back next month broke and depressed" then you owe it to him not to be an enabler of his patterns.

Tough love.
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:21:57 AM EDT
Give him $150 with an agreement that he has 6 months to buy it back, and don't tell anyone you've got that ugly thing in your safe.
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:24:07 AM EDT
bayeagle thats kinda the way i am thinking.

arowner he won't take that for it and if he did i'd just end up stuck with it anyway.

mike

ps.... anyone want a firestar?
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:25:48 AM EDT
If you give him the cash donn't expect it back. If it will cause trouble for you freindship if he don't pay it back don't give him the money. I would go ahead and take the pistol if you take the money. My .02
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:28:35 AM EDT
man, these people are depressing, the ones that are always broke that is.

I have had friends like that in the past.Always broke, rent late, car payment late, etc.

Tell him to get a second job.

These people are sick!
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:41:56 AM EDT
That's a toughy and could be a never ending cycle.
If it were a decent gun, maybe.
I'm almost always broke...from loaning out money and only getting hard luck stories in return.
If you do "help" him, don't let it get to deep as you will only lose the money anyway.
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:45:15 AM EDT
If you dont want it dont buy it. . Why buy something you dont have a use for or want unless you want to buy then just sell it. Have him go to the pawn shop and get the normal ass rape price they will give him and then your 150.00 offer wont sound so bad. Sell for 250.00 on the EE
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:46:19 AM EDT
In cases like this, I live by these words of advice:


Friends stop at the wallet
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 6:57:15 AM EDT
I understand, it is difficult to say no to a friend, especially when things like losing their car or getting kicked out of their house is concerned. I suppose that it is all based on the situation.

If I have the money, and a friend is in trouble with no fault of their own, I would gladly loan whatever I could. I have a friend who is one of the best guys I have ever known. He was laid off about two years ago, and when he couldn't find another job he started a contracting business and built it up himself, eventually hiring two other employees, making decks and other home improvement projects. He finally met a woman that I approved of, which is important because he's my best friend and has been screwed royally in the past, and got engaged, set to marry this June. Put himself through school, was a foster child bouncing around from house to house until his 18th birthday. He's an amazing man, and he never gives up. Then last summer he was blindsided by a semi driven and owned by a mexican company, and the "insurance" has disappeared somewhere. He can't work, and has lost his business, so I and some friends have loaned him some money to get buy until he can work again, hopefully this summer. In this case, I'd give a friend whatever I could.

On the other hand, I USED to have a girl friend who was always in trouble. I've bailed her out of so many scrapes, got her car out of impound twice, and my boyfriend has also bailed her out. The last straw for me was when her car was impounded for the third time due to parking in a restricted area, and she asked me to give her the $300 to get her car out. I finally put my foot down and said no, and she went behind my back and tried to get another friend of mine, whom she had only met once, to help her. In her case, I was enabling her, which made it impossible for her to shape up on her own, she just assumed that I would always be there to bail her out. We are no longer friends, but hey, I am not made of money myself!

Basically, if this guy is a really good friend, and you really want to help him out and can afford it, then buy the gun, but never expect to get the money back. Let him know that this is the last time you will bail him out, and tell him that you think he has a serious problem. I have found that friendship means not only being there for the good times, but I also let my friends know when I think that they are screwing up. I appreciate it when MY friends give me a reality check. It could really be that no one has sit him down, and told him that he's got a serious probem that will only get worse, and that is destroying his friendships because they don't want to bail him out anymore. If he's really a good guy, he'll get the message and shape up. If not, he wasn't worth helping out in the first place.
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 7:05:46 AM EDT
he is in a bad situation because of his wife. She talked him into taking out multiple loans to "PAY BILLS" she in turn took the money and used it to finance her internet sex flings. Traveled around "business trips" screwing guys in other states. He has caught her 11 times in the last 10 years. His financial life is ruined and he won't put the bitch on the curb no matter how many people tell him to.

This shit just burns my ass. i hate to see him hungry but it is all his own fault.

mike
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 7:15:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer:
he is in a bad situation because of his wife. She talked him into taking out multiple loans to "PAY BILLS" she in turn took the money and used it to finance her internet sex flings. Traveled around "business trips" screwing guys in other states. He has caught her 11 times in the last 10 years. His financial life is ruined and he won't put the bitch on the curb no matter how many people tell him to.

This shit just burns my ass. i hate to see him hungry but it is all his own fault.

mike



Dang. Maybe you better get the gun off him just to keep him from offing himself.
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 7:21:01 AM EDT
If you're buying a gun you really don't want and have no use for, you are essentially just giving him the money, which is fine, if that's what you want to do.

My opinion is that you do not LEND money to friends. If they need it, and you want to help (and can afford to) you GIVE it to them - that way, if they pay it back later, that great (and says a lot about them), but the second you let go of the money, you have to assume it is gone forever, or it can poison a relationship.



You could always offer to sell it for him on gunbroker or some other gun auction site - that way you are still helping out, but you're not directly invovled or responsible.
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 7:23:56 AM EDT

Originally Posted By BayEagle:

Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer:
he is in a bad situation because of his wife. She talked him into taking out multiple loans to "PAY BILLS" she in turn took the money and used it to finance her internet sex flings. Traveled around "business trips" screwing guys in other states. He has caught her 11 times in the last 10 years. His financial life is ruined and he won't put the bitch on the curb no matter how many people tell him to.

This shit just burns my ass. i hate to see him hungry but it is all his own fault.

mike



Dang. Maybe you better get the gun off him just to keep him from offing himself.



thats what im thinking
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 7:34:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/5/2004 7:40:42 AM EDT by Kar98]
If you "buy it" from him now, he will be back next month with a Jennings he wants to sell to you for $400, and upon your refusing to purchase said item will resent your "greedy, backstabbing, traitorous false friend" ass with all his might.
The same might happen if you /do/ buy it, but then he will hate you because you cheated him out of one of the finest firearms ever made. Might as well get it over with and save your money.
Link Posted: 5/5/2004 7:51:55 AM EDT
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