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Posted: 9/14/2005 7:26:03 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/20/2005 4:29:15 PM EDT by RoyDamnMercer]
This is what my lovely bride of eleven plus years made for me. It's not funny. I thought she loved me, but now I'm not sure. What do you think?



I have a yellow pages lawyer on my speed dial or a shovel and a 50 pound bag of lime waiting for your input.


regards,


roy d
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:28:50 AM EDT
It's food, I'd eat it, 10+
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:29:27 AM EDT
Damn, what did she leave those in for an hour or so?
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:30:09 AM EDT
dude, it is chocolate chip with M&M's

eat it....
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:30:37 AM EDT
Do you have a dog?
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:30:45 AM EDT
Doh! it depends on how she makes up for it ...
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:31:11 AM EDT
crunch, crunch...eat 'em!
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:31:36 AM EDT
Looks like diahrrea with skittles mixed in....I'd pass on those dude.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:32:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LUGERMAN:
Do you have a dog?





oh man!!!!! I LOVE my dog WAAAAAY too much.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:46:18 AM EDT
What a wife... she baked you some reactive targets for the next trip to the range.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:47:17 AM EDT
odds are they'll taste pretty good. I'd eat them. Or at least give it a try.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 7:49:03 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 8:24:53 AM EDT
What should be my marital future?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ 2 ] Divorce the no-talent hag [ 11.76% ] <----- Not Married
[ 0 ] Kill the no-baking ho [ 0% ]
[ 1 ] go date Martha Stewart you ungrateful s.o.b. [ 5.88% ]
[ 2 ] Learn to bake yourself, loser [ 11.76% ]
[ 2 ] eat the damn cookies and say "yummy, dear" [ 11.76% ] <----- Married
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Total Votes :: 17

Link Posted: 9/14/2005 8:49:34 AM EDT
Put em in a clay pigeon thrower and blast away
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 8:50:29 AM EDT
I'd eat it
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 8:52:51 AM EDT
Jesus man, she can't bake AND she can't clean dishes for shit! That cookie sheet is filthy!

EPOCH
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 8:54:17 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/14/2005 8:54:41 AM EDT by KnobCreek]
Trix Cereal Cookies

How could you leave somebody that creative?
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 8:54:44 AM EDT
How do you Fuck up cookies that bad?
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 8:56:24 AM EDT
Get some vanilla ice cream and crumble them into it. Make the best of it.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:00:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By EPOCH96:
Jesus man, she can't bake AND she can't clean dishes for shit! That cookie sheet is filthy!

EPOCH



... the PAM goes under the cookies, not around the edge of the pan.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:02:12 AM EDT
My daughters are 100% in charge of cookie baking duty now. My wife's idea of cooking is, ... Well, hell, I don't know what it is.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:02:44 AM EDT
If she can make a decent sammich...I'd let her slide on the cookies.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:03:34 AM EDT
I am in charge off cookie cooking.

1. I am an fucking cookie master.
2. No one else here eats cookies.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:03:57 AM EDT
They look like shit biscuits
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:05:29 AM EDT
No gun. -5.
No stapler. -1
No napkin. -1
No knife. -1
No measuring device. -1
No alcohol. -3



Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:05:35 AM EDT
What is she really good for? My ex couldn't cook or bake fer shit.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:06:31 AM EDT



look man, everybody knows it's the thought that counts.

and judging by that picture it looks like she was thinking of melting and burning your ass.

rrruuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnn!!!



Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:08:07 AM EDT
Hey man, cookies are cookies.

She tried, sorry bro, no dice....



Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:10:33 AM EDT
www.ratemypuke.com

Leave link cold!!!
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:10:33 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:13:12 AM EDT
They look good! I'd eat 'em with some milk!

I know you are joking, but I hope you at least thanked her. Next time make them WITH her and show her how it's done. I like making cookies, despite being a guy. I always wind up eating like 1/4 of the cookie dough though.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:14:09 AM EDT
Post a pic of the wife so we can determine if you should dump her or not, if she is hot forget it, eat the cookies, take some Pepto and be happy!
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:15:42 AM EDT
Fruity Pebbles cookies?

Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:16:27 AM EDT
Take the cookies off the tray, shift them around and see if she'll eat one in front of you.
If she does, then feed one to the dog, one to the annoying kid next door and one to the cat.

If all four survive, try a nibble.

Kharn
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:18:05 AM EDT
Shut up and eat em'.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:21:45 AM EDT
Is that CORN in the middle?
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:22:05 AM EDT
Wait untill she is menopausal...

You will have a cookie sheet of carbon disks to eat.

Some how she remembers to make them and put them
in the oven.

For the life of her she can't remember to take them out

GM
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:29:24 AM EDT
Be a man and eat them cookies, and shut up..........she tried
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:33:43 AM EDT
UPDATE:

All you guys that responded with "eat the damn cookies"...thanks. JACKASSES!!!


My dog is dead....don't feed chocolate to a dog.

I've broken a tooth.

I've been on the toilet for hours.

My wife called to say that she is leaving me for a fellow AR15.com member who is short, fat, bald, wears an eye patch and claims to shoot sub-moa with his never-cleaned OLY using wolf ammo and a Leapers carry handle mounted scope. He also still lives at home with his mom, works part-time security at the Mall at nights, prefers 5.11 pants rather than jeans and practices the art of Rex-kwan-do.

I guess she loves him cuz he's soooo tactical.


BTW, she said she's taking everything but I can keep the Dodge Caravan.



As soon as I get off this toilet, I'm gonna go abuse myself while watching a Martha Stewart cooking show.



roy d
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:36:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RoyDamnMercer:
UPDATE:

All you guys that responded with "eat the damn cookies"...thanks. JACKASSES!!!


My dog is dead....don't feed chocolate to a dog.

I've broken a tooth.

I've been on the toilet for hours.

My wife called to say that she is leaving me for a fellow AR15.com member who is short, fat, bald, wears an eye patch and claims to shoot sub-moa with his never-cleaned OLY using wolf ammo and a Leapers carry handle mounted scope. He also still lives at home with his mom, works part-time security at the Mall at nights, prefers 5.11 pants rather than jeans and practices the art of Rex-kwan-do.

I guess she loves him cuz he's soooo tactical.


BTW, she said she's taking everything but I can keep the Dodge Caravan.



As soon as I get off this toilet, I'm gonna go abuse myself while watching a Martha Stewart cooking show.



roy d



Roy,
Congratulations. Since it's over, could you tell us what the colored thingies are on the Crispy Sugar Blobs.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:38:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By KnobCreek:
Trix Cereal Cookies

How could you leave somebody that creative?

I thought they were fruity pebbles
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:40:40 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/14/2005 9:43:19 AM EDT by Cleatus]
tell her to add baking soda AND powder next time and to follow the reciepe of mixing drys and liquids seperate.

and oh yeah...bothe tha above ingriediens are only good for like a year- shit can and get new after that-look for experation date.


BTW- that pan is probably permantley that way (ours are) from spraying with PAM and it bakes on harder than teflon AR15 coating.....hmmm maybe a new trend?
Get some silicone baking mats- they do work and ya dont need PAM
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:40:49 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/14/2005 9:41:18 AM EDT by KnobCreek]

Originally Posted By 52brandon:

Originally Posted By KnobCreek:
Trix Cereal Cookies

How could you leave somebody that creative?

I thought they were fruity pebbles



Well, that's why I asked Roy to clarify for us. Could be Fruity Pebbles. Looked a little round so I guess Trix. M&M would't have been in my top five pics, from the looks of it.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:42:51 AM EDT
Brother, she hates you!
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:43:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Cleatus:
tell her to add baking soda AND powder next time and to follow the reciepe of mixing drys and liquids seperate.



Listen to this guy. Cheeseheads, I being one for 10 years, know they're food well. God, how I miss Wisconsin for the good eats.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:44:50 AM EDT
Hey if I had to eat burnt toast with mayo and peanut butter on it [kids] washed down with pulpy OJ the least you can do is eat the dern cookies. Granted they look like they'll send anyone into diabetic shock.

Patty
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:50:56 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:
Hey if I had to eat burnt toast with mayo and peanut butter on it [kids] washed down with pulpy OJ the least you can do is eat the dern cookies. Granted they look like they'll send anyone into diabetic shock.

Patty



Patty,
Look more closely at the picture. That IS burnt toast with mayo and peanut butter. Only these have some sort of colored thingies in there as well.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 9:55:05 AM EDT
Even bad cookies are better then no cookies. You should send your lovely bride flowers for her efforts.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 10:02:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/14/2005 10:03:37 AM EDT by Admiral_Crunch]
My wife baked this last year. The dress and everything from the waist down is cake.



She makes good cookies too.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 10:04:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rkbar15:
Even bad cookies are better then no cookies. You should send your lovely bride flowers for her efforts.




Bad cookies are only better than no cookies if you have no Oreo's or Vanilla wafers in the pantry. Part of my in-house SHTF with desert go to snacks.
Link Posted: 9/14/2005 10:48:18 AM EDT
You better buck up, roydamnnnmercer.....or Ima gunna come up there an' give ya a asswhuppin'!!!

Wife done made you some cookies, see? Yer gonna enjoy e'm!!!!

Yer 'roydamnmercer, dammit...better be actin' like it

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