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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:32:32 PM EDT
It's 11:30, I'm about to head to bed, and I start hearing a bassline coming through the walls. I live near a moderately busy street, and across from a park, and figure it might be coming from one of those. Nope. It's the new neighbors who have just moved in. Or should I say, are in the process of moving in.
Hopefully this will not become a trend with these assholes. I am somewhat leary of people without a car in South Florida, and there are a guy and a girl over there unpacking boxes & such, and there is no car in the driveway. The old neighbor was awesome. He was a pothead redneck boatplumber that built RC trucks out of go-kart engines. He was home all the damn time and really kept an eye on the place. He was also quiet as hell. If these new fucks want to make a habit of this, I guess they have no idea what a Harley cranked up in the living room can do to ruin your morning when you thought you'd be sleeping in. 
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:37:01 PM EDT
[#1]
Nothing welcomes a new neighbor better than a naked tatooed man running down the street while shooting an AR in the air.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:37:32 PM EDT
[#2]
So you went from a drug addict to a low income basshead? Have you considered moving to a better area?
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:46:04 PM EDT
[#3]
I would hardly call a pothead a drug addict. He was just about the ideal neighbor. Ironically this area IS nice. Homes here sell for $300k+ for a 2/1 "cottage"(last time I checked, I'm sure they're up by now) and these folks have got to be paying close to $1k/month in rent. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:48:08 PM EDT
[#4]
Blast some bluegrass
- BG |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:56:09 PM EDT
[#5]
Water your front lawn in your underwear and dress shoes. Wear a John Deere hat along and have a half smoked cigar between your teeth.
This is especially effective when the neighbor's relatives / friends come to visit. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 7:58:07 PM EDT
[#6]
Don't forget to put a couch in your front lawn, and sit in it wearing just you (barely closed) stained bathrobe.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:00:02 PM EDT
[#7]
Sounds like it's time to start setting dry ice bombs at their front door.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:01:20 PM EDT
[#8]
 
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:03:59 PM EDT
[#9]
Well get an old big block car with headers, just headers, its abit more effective then the bike.
Get some annoying music, start it playing then leave |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:05:02 PM EDT
[#10]
attach a fishtank piston type air pump to the wall and leave it running, those things are friggen annoying
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:11:44 PM EDT
[#11]
... Few things in life are overlooked as much as great neighbors. That is until you have a bad one. Been super-fortunate except for the occasional weekend teenie-bopper party. Even still, the kids have the courtesy (genuine or not) to come over and invite me.
... Hell, come to think of it, some of the parties I throw could be obnoxious to others, but they only come around 4 or 5 times a year. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:13:52 PM EDT
[#12]
Details please |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:16:28 PM EDT
[#13]
The Water Fall: A college dorm trick. If he gets on your nerves fill a plastic garbage can with water and lean it on his door. Knock and run. This will fuckup downstairs though.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:45:29 PM EDT
[#14]
Buy a chipper shredder.
When loud music comes from neighbors house... wheel the chipper/shredder to the edge of the property and fire it up. Just let it run 'til it's outta gas.
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Posted: 9/29/2004 9:52:41 PM EDT
[#15]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Details please You get some Dry Ice and spoon about 3-4 table spoon full in a two liter empty soda container. Srew on cap really tight and place wher you want it to explode. Vary length of timing by amount of Dry Ice. Pretty loud and there is not much left of container. |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 11:24:27 PM EDT
[#16]
Note: ATF has successfully prosecuted at least 3 people for making "dry ice bombs".
-Troy |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 11:25:27 PM EDT
[#17]
Damn you whine alot.
I ahte people that whine about others all the time. SGatr15 |
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Posted: 9/29/2004 11:26:33 PM EDT
[#18]
Seems like all the crazed rednecks around here are feauding with their neighbors
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Posted: 9/29/2004 11:56:27 PM EDT
[#19]
Crush it, crush it now.
On the rare occasion a house within line of site to ours goes up for sale, has an Open House, I make damned sure to parade my weapons and/or muscle car as blatantly as possible. Figure any potential neighbors who can't tolerate these things will not make an offer. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 1:33:51 AM EDT
[#20]
Don't you have a tattoo that needs correcting? |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 1:40:16 AM EDT
[#21]
I guess I should point out that this is a duplex, and I'm renting too. I'm hoping to buy in a few months when my project is over and I can use my bonus money as a downpayment on a house.
At any rate..... Around about sometime after midnight I was awoken by the sound of the vacuum. That's right folks, the vacuum. It's pretty clear that these people aren't being malicious, they're just inconsiderate as fuck. Being the direct kinda guy that I am, I'll certainly be having a "the walls are damn thin around here" talk with them. If that doesn't work I'll move my bed against the shared wall and invite over some of the tramps I know. Tile floors and a bed on wheels makes for some great wall banging. There were two people in there when I went over last night, a guy and a girl. When I knocked a dude came and looked out the window, and then had his girl open the door. WTF? Granted I doubt I was looking very threatening standing there at 11:30 in my flipflops & glasses, but then neither did Ted Bundy or Danny Rolling. What kind of punk bitch lets his girl open the door for a stranger at 11:30 at night? Oh well, hopefully I'll run into one or both of them when I get off work tonight. We'll try starting off with the polite "I have to get up at 5AM and the walls are pretty thin 'round here" and see where we get to from there. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 1:48:42 AM EDT
[#22]
I had a kid across the street who liked to play his music for the entire neighborhood. I placed a pair of A7's powered by a 1000 watt rms amp in the driveway and gave him a nice dose of bagpipe music for about 30 minutes. Amazing Grace through those horns felt like someone stuck an icepick in your forehead.
I never heard his music again. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 1:53:42 AM EDT
[#23]
You just described Hawkey Pierce. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 2:17:12 AM EDT
[#24]
The one holding the shotgun behind the door. or the one flushing the drugs down the toilet |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 2:20:33 AM EDT
[#25]
Trust me, if you saw this guy you'd know better than that. When he looked out the window he was looking like a scared fucking rabbit. And he can have that shotgun all day long, if Rolling stuck a knife in his old lady's gullet she'd still be just as dead. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 2:54:56 AM EDT
[#26]
Women are like buses, there's one along every 10 minutes or so.
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Posted: 9/30/2004 3:35:57 AM EDT
[#27]
I laughed out loud after reading this. 
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Posted: 9/30/2004 3:44:43 AM EDT
[#28]
Don't forget to post pics.
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Posted: 9/30/2004 4:14:33 AM EDT
[#29]
Maybe...just maybe, mind you...a naked guy with a Japanese Officer's sword chasing the garbage-plundering dog down the street at 3AM screaming "I'll cut your damned head off!!!" Do not ask me how I know this.
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Posted: 9/30/2004 6:13:58 AM EDT
[#30]
You're into naked tattooed guys? Dude, seek help.
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Posted: 9/30/2004 6:21:37 AM EDT
[#31]
I own a wood chipper. I would rather stick my head in the intake of a jet engine then listen to a wood chipper all day. 
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Posted: 9/30/2004 6:30:48 AM EDT
[#32]
Knock, Knock............Hi, I live next door and was just wondering if you could keep it down a little? Thanks.
First and only chance, everything is fair game after that! 
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Posted: 9/30/2004 6:39:29 AM EDT
[#33]
In this situation it's prety much just a flip of the coin as to who ya gotta share the building with. Good luck. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 7:18:23 AM EDT
[#34]
A pair of big Cerwin-Vegas and a copy of the 1812 Overture (with cannon) works nicely to get the point across. Trust me. It's quite a wake up call at 5AM.
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Posted: 9/30/2004 7:49:14 AM EDT
[#35]
And thats exactly what I did. In the words of Barney Fife "Nip it. You've got to nip it, in the bud." I'm generally not one of those passive agressive "pour gasoline on their lawn" kind of guys. I've always found that when neighbors know each other by first name, talk when they see each other out, and try to get along as best they can, they usually are much more considerate. It's actually the best thing I learned from being on the BOD of my old townhouse community. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 8:52:05 AM EDT
[#36]
Dude, no shit. WTF? Ask nice at first, if it keeps up, Black Flag+Harley+Naked+AR. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 3:33:00 PM EDT
[#37]
Use calcium chloride. Its the salt that is dissolved in the water in tires on tractors. It will kill the ground till the rain washes it out in a few years. No smell or other tattle tails. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 4:02:01 PM EDT
[#38]
Well, when I got home today I think I figured out why no car. There's a scooter parked in front of the neighbor's door. A scooter. Like a Vespa but not as cool.
How on earth does someone afford $1k/month rent +/- and not think that having a motor vehicle is a good thing? Ya know, sometimes I love South Florida, but sometimes I really start to wonder about these people. Now back to 24 hours of polka music at casa de norm. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 4:08:03 PM EDT
[#39]
 You don't know Norman, do you? Think EVIL punk!
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Posted: 9/30/2004 4:11:31 PM EDT
[#40]
Wait a minute! All the SH!T I've been going through this year and you didn't think to introduce me to one? DAMN, man! I thought we were friends!
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Posted: 9/30/2004 5:02:44 PM EDT
[#41]
I dunno if they'd like you, I think you might be too clean cut. Plus I think some of these girls might hurt you. 
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Posted: 9/30/2004 5:03:36 PM EDT
[#42]
You'd be surprised how quickly Johnny Cash's greatest hits will drive a neighbor to suicide, while warming the cockles of this old punk-rocker's heart. |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 5:03:54 PM EDT
[#43]
And they are all made to ride ....
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Posted: 9/30/2004 5:12:23 PM EDT
[#44]
There's water in tires on tractors? They dissolve salt in it? Why? |
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Posted: 9/30/2004 6:45:03 PM EDT
[#45]
They put water in tractor tires for more weight to get more traction. The salt? I dunno edit: the salt is to add additonal weight and is also an anti-freeze agent |
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