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Posted: 10/4/2005 1:45:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 2:52:26 PM EDT by Jarhead_22]
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 1:49:31 PM EDT
Chevy Chase in the end of "Christmas Vacation"
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 1:52:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CFII:
Chevy Chase in the end of "Christmas Vacation"



.....Hallelujah, Holy Shit, Where's the Tylenol?
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 1:53:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CFII:
Chevy Chase in the end of "Christmas Vacation"



Oh god yes!
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 1:55:48 PM EDT
John Wayne in Ture Grit

"This is rat writ........."
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 1:56:32 PM EDT
+1 on Pacino in Devil's Advocate.

Michael Douglas in Wall Street was another good one.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 1:57:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 1:59:34 PM EDT by HLVascovich]
I am quite fond of the "To the Pain" speech on Princess Bride.

Westley: [slowly sitting up] No! To the pain!
Humperdink: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase?
Westley: I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to
understand. You wart-hog-faced buffoon!

Humperdink: [insulted] That may be the first time in my life a man has dared
insult me.Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will
be your your feet below the ankles, then your hands at your wrists.
Next, your nose.
Humperdink: Then my tongue, I suppose? I killed you too quickly the last
time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye
followed by your right!

Humperdink: And then my ears...I understand! Let's get on with it!
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why; so that every
shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness is yours to cherish.
Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman that cries out,
'dear god what is that thing!' will echo in your perfect ears. That is
what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in
freakish misery forever.

Humperdink: I think your bluffing!
Westley: It's possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable you
miserable vomitous mass, I'm only lying here because I lack the strength
to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength to stand after all.
[Slowly, Westley stands, his sword pointed at Humperdinck's chest]
Drop... your... sword.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 1:59:32 PM EDT
The Good, The Bad, the Ugly.
Tuco's tirade the first time he is taken in for the bounty.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:00:00 PM EDT
The courtroom scene in The Boondock Saints
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:03:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Alchemist:
The courtroom scene in The Boondock Saints

+1. "And shepherds we shall be..."
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:03:57 PM EDT
Gunny Hartman in the opening barracks scene in Full Metal Jacket.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:03:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Alchemist:
The courtroom scene in The Boondock Saints



How could I forget!


"Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost."
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:06:01 PM EDT
Bill Pullman, the POTUS, standing on an F-18, in Independance Day
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:06:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 2:40:51 PM EDT by Combatvet]
Samuel Jackson's Pulp Fiction..................
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:07:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sixgunsblazing:
Bill Pullman, the POTUS, standing on an F-18, in Independance Day



Still a horrible movie though. But good speech.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:11:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Combatvet:
Samuel Jackson's Pulp Fiction, for I am my brothers keeper..................



lots of good ones in Tarantino movies.

"madona's big dick"
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:15:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 2:16:29 PM EDT by Cape_hunter]
Gladiator -



"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.



Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:18:44 PM EDT
Braveheart


I AM William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my country men, here, in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?
Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:22:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 2:23:20 PM EDT by 53vortec]
Al Pacino addressing the college in Scent of a Woman....

"I'M JUST GETTIN' FIRED UP!"
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:26:54 PM EDT
Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman."


"If I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this place! Out of order? Who the hell do you think you're talkin' to?
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:28:42 PM EDT
That makes me want to pop in Gladiator now.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:29:01 PM EDT
Joe Pesci as "Leo Getz in "Lethal Weapon II":

"They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets fucked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a fuck! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?"

Al Pacino as "Arthur Kirkland" in "And Justice For All":

"You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he'd like to do it again! It's just a show! It's a show! It's "Let's Make A Deal"! "Let's Make A Deal"! Hey Frank, you wanna "Make A Deal"? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the shit out of women! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, 3 weeks probation?"

John Belushi as "Bluto" in "Animal House":

Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! "

"And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! "

"What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer..."

"We're just the guys to do it. "

"LET'S DO IT! "
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:40:20 PM EDT
"There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.' I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I just thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mothefucker' fore you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin', it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin' Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd."
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:44:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ironoxbows:

Originally Posted By CFII:
Chevy Chase in the end of "Christmas Vacation"



.....Hallelujah, Holy Shit, Where's the Tylenol?



+1
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 2:54:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 2:55:21 PM EDT by retrainthechimp]
The scene in the movie "25th hour" where ed norton is in the bathroom staring in the mirror going off on everyone in NYC
"fuck the arabs....................fuck the brothers...........fuck the homos...........fuck the italians.........fuck osama bin laden......."
its great. It damn near offends everyone.

edited to add the scene in "man on fire" when denzel tells the mother what he's gonna do to the guys that were involved.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:06:54 PM EDT
The speech at the beginning of Patton, uncensored version.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:12:49 PM EDT
Al Pacino as Tony Montana in "Scarface."

"Say goodnight to the bad guy!"
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:17:28 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 3:21:04 PM EDT by StonerStudent]
William Munny at the end of The Unforgiven


All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife. All his friends. Burn his damn house down.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:23:07 PM EDT


David Mills: Wait, I thought all you did was kill innocent people.
John Doe: Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the lawyer and I know you both must have been secretly thanking me for that one. This is a man who dedicated his life to making money by lying with every breath that he could muster to keeping murderers and rapists on the streets!

A woman... so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer, a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever.

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:23:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 3:26:12 PM EDT by texashark]


Clark: "If this isn't the biggest bag over the head, punch in the face I ever got. God damnit!"
Clark Sr.: "Son."
Clark: "(He tears up the Jelly of the month club membership aand drinks so egg nog.) That's good. That's good. That's good. Hey, if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here, tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head. And, I want to look him strait in the eye and tell him: what a cheap, lyiny, no good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:26:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 3:29:53 PM EDT by napalm]
Fight Club



Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.





Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.





Tyler Durden: We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Narrator: Martha Stewart.
Tyler Durden: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.






Tyler Durden: Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.





Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.





Narrator: [while brutally beating Angel Face] I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.




Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:28:46 PM EDT
Serenity or Firefly... If someone trys to kill you, you kill them back.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:38:01 PM EDT
Jack Nicholson, "As Good as it Gets"

"How do you write women so well? I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability ...

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:43:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By cduarte:
Jack Nicholson, "As Good as it Gets"

"How do you write women so well? I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability ...




That movie was full of one-liners because Nicholson's character was so good at blurting out the first thing that came to mind without thinking it through.
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 3:46:02 PM EDT
Deniro from Cape Fear:

"I ain't no white trash piece of shit; I'm better 'n you all. I can out read you. I can out think you. And I can out philosophize you. And I'm a gonna out last you. You think a couple whacks to my good ole' boy gut's goin' get me down? It'll take a helluva lot more'n that to prove yer better'n me, Counselor."
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 4:29:24 PM EDT
Another Pacino: When Tony Montana goes off at the swanky restaurant: "Say goodnight to the bad guy!"
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 4:36:09 PM EDT
The Spencer Tracy rant in Inherit the Wind.

The best out of everything!

on Genesis...

the Bible says it was a day...
"there wasn't any sun. How do you knwo how long it was?
The Bible says it was a day...
"a normal, a literal day, a twenty-four hour day?"
I don't know
"what do you think?"
I do not think about things that... I do not think about
"Do you ever think about things you do think about? Isn't it possible that first day was twenty-five hours long? there was no way to measure it, no way to tell! Could it have been twenty-five hours?"
It is ...possible...
"oh, you interpret that the first day recorded is the Book of Genesis could be of inderterminate lenght"
I mean to state that the day referred to is not necessarily a twenty-four hour day.
"it could have been thirty hours! or a month! or a year! or a hundred years! or ten million years!"
I protest! this is not only irrelevant, immaterial - - it is illegal!
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 4:39:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 4:40:26 PM EDT by miamilightning]
Howard Beale from Network :

I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's work, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. (shouting) You've got to say, 'I'm a human being, god-dammit! My life has value!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!...You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!'

Good Shit!
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 4:43:16 PM EDT
Christmas Vacation is great, but this one is pretty good.

Clark W. Griswold:
"I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! I've got to be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose!"
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 4:46:11 PM EDT
Colonel Nathan Jessup responding to Daniel McCaffey's request for answers and the truth. "Son, we live in a world with walls, and those walls need to be guarded by men with guns... ...I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

Blake
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 4:47:35 PM EDT
Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have more responsibility here than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I know deep down in places you dont talk about at parties, you don't want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand to post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You want answers?
Tom Cruise (Kaffee): I think I'm entitled.
Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You want answers?
Tom Cruise (Kaffee): I want the truth!
Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You can't handle the truth!

A few good men
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 4:48:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Blake:
Colonel Nathan Jessup responding to Daniel McCaffey's request for answers and the truth. "Son, we live in a world with walls, and those walls need to be guarded by men with guns... ...I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

Blake



beat me by a minute
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 4:57:26 PM EDT
There's no crying in baseball!!!
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 5:02:47 PM EDT
"When I get home people 'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do ya do it man? Why? Just some war junkie?" Ya know what I'll say? I won't say a goddamn word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is. "

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 5:08:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By xinflt:
Gunny Hartman in the opening barracks scene in Full Metal Jacket.




)"I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior Drill Instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of our filthy sewers will be 'sir'. Do you maggots understand that?" "Sir, yes sir." "Bullshit I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair." "Sir, yes sir!"




Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!




Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!



God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the Marine Corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps!

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 5:21:08 PM EDT
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"

Gunnery Sgt Hartman: "Who the fuck said that!? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here that just signed his own death warrant!? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk."

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Today... is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few marines! God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?"

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 5:25:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Fly-Navy:

Originally Posted By sixgunsblazing:
Bill Pullman, the POTUS, standing on an F-18, in Independance Day



Still a horrible movie though. But good speech.


yes, goofy movie, but a good speach:

President Thomas Whitmore: Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 5:38:21 PM EDT
I always liked this from "People Will Talk".

Delivered just as calmly as could be.

Shunderson (Finlay Currie) to Prof. Rodney Elwell (Hume Cronyn):

"Professor Elwell, you're a little man. It's not that you're short. You're...little, in the mind and in the heart. Tonight, you tried to make a man little whose boots you couldn't touch if you stood on tiptoe on top of the highest mountain in the world. And as it turned out...you're even littler than you were before."



PWNED!



Vul­can94
Link Posted: 10/4/2005 6:10:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By cduarte:
Jack Nicholson, "As Good as it Gets"

"How do you write women so well? I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability ...




Excellent. As was Helen Hunt's rant concerning HMOs.

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 6:26:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2005 6:27:48 PM EDT by CajunMojo]
From "The Shining"


Jack: Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me. (He hits his head with the palm of his hand and rips up his manuscript) And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. Understand?
Wendy: Yeah.
Jack: Fine. I'm gonna make a new rule. Whenever I'm in here, and you hear me typing (he types keys to demonstrate), whether you don't hear me typing, whatever the f--k you hear me doing in here, when I'm in here, that means that I am working. That means don't come in. Now do you think you can handle that?
Wendy: Yeah.
Jack: Fine. Why don't you start right now and get the f--k out of here?
Wendy: OK.

Link Posted: 10/4/2005 6:29:44 PM EDT
I'm the enemy because I like to think. I like to read, I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy that could sit in a greasy spoon and wonder gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs or the side order of gravy fries. I want high cholesterol. I would eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese. OK. I want to smoke Cuban cigars the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why, because I might suddenly feel the need to. OK? Pal, I've seen the future. Know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his pajamas, sipping a banana-broccoli shake, singing 'I'm the Oscar Meyer wiener'.
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