I Am Canadian!
I am a minority in Vancouver, Banff, and every casino in this county
I was born in 1972, yet I am responsible for some Native's great great
grandfather who screwed himself out of his land in the 1800's.
I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.
I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a seat
All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes.
I live and work among people who believe Americans are ignorant.
These same people cannot name this country's new Territory.
Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft Dinner, and don't have a pot
to piss in, I sleep well, knowing that I've helped purchase a nice six
figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled Chinese refugee.
Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate, Quebec still
provides my nation's Prime Ministers.
95percent of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.
I'm supposed to call black people African Canadians. Although I'm sure none
of them have ever been to Africa, or east of Halifax for that matter.
I believe that paying a 200 percent tax on alcohol is fair.
Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave
me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.
I DO know Jeff from Toronto.
I often badmouth the United States, and then vacation there three times a
I'm led to believe that some lazy ass unionized broom pusher who makes 30
dollars an hour is underpaid and therefore must go on strike, but paying 10
dollars an hour to someone who works 12 hour shifts at 40 below on an
oil rig is fair.
I believe that paying 30 million for 3 stripes (The Voice of Fire) by the
National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99 percent of this
country didn't want it. Or will ever see it.
When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of what I
actually make. I say "Oh well, at least we have better health care than the
I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry, because I
control the rain.
My National Anthem has versions in both official languages. And I don't know
either of them.
Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest military
buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing
I am not an angry white male.
I am an angry broke taxpayer.
My name is Bob, and I AM CANADIAN.
Yea, my wife is Canadian. Soon to become an American citizen! I wonder why?
Could be worse...you could be FRENCH-CANADIAN!
My best friend's girlfriend was a Canadian med student. As soon as she completed her cheap subsidized education, the plan was to marry my friend and move to the US.