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Posted: 6/16/2009 11:14:36 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/17/2009 12:57:11 PM EST by Wave]
It's a co-worker's wedding reception that I was invited to. We're just friends thru work. Known her for about 7 years(no I never "hit it", don't care to either!). Yes, I'm bringing a date.

Well ARFCOM, how bad do I dent my "I'd much rather be buying guns" slush fund?

No poll coming. No MS paint diagram either.

EDITED TO CLARIFY - The cash will be given inside a wedding card and is being given in lieu of a wedding gift. Hope that clears things up.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:15:37 AM EST
$50?

Hell, I dunno.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:15:49 AM EST
open bar?

$50
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:16:40 AM EST
Depends on how close you are.

$50 or so and I'd call it a day.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:17:33 AM EST
All we give is $25.00. Not rich and don't drink. YMMV
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:17:41 AM EST
Open bar? It's a cop on cop wedding so I can safely assume hells yes!
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:18:26 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:19:03 AM EST
Open Bar + Real Food = 50ish

Finger Food + Open Bar = 40ish

Finger Food + No Alcohol = $12.50
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:19:08 AM EST
Give them an inactivated $100 gift card, play dumb when they say it doesn't work.

Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:19:19 AM EST
Are they registered somewhere? I'd just give the average cost of the stuff they registered for.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:20:01 AM EST
Depends on what the reception is costing per plate. I usually give about $200.

I'd be able to give a more accurate response if you posted pictures of said date.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:21:02 AM EST
The general rule is to give about how much per head the wedding reception costs. In your case X2 because of your date.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:21:20 AM EST
People I know well and associate with regularly... $100

Family or anybody else who are just inviting me to pad the gift table... A hearty handshake and best wishes.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:21:23 AM EST
Originally Posted By mag162:
where is the reception


Staten Island. I believe its being held at Alice Austen House
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:23:12 AM EST
In my life circumstances: I would give a co-worker $50. I would give a friend $100. Figure out who she is to you.
(also, if it is a co-worker I'd subtract travel expenses (ie. gas for long car trip, hotel.)
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:24:17 AM EST
Originally Posted By Wave:
Open bar? It's a cop on cop wedding so I can safely assume hells yes!

In New York, you have to pay $10 to see that kind of action.

Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:29:25 AM EST
Open bar - $100

Cash bar - $50


Your welcome.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:41:18 AM EST
Originally Posted By kcr121:
Depends on what the reception is costing per plate. I usually give about $200.

I'd be able to give a more accurate response if you posted pictures of said date.


Heed this man's words. If they're paying $200 a head, a $50 gift makes you look like a cheapskate.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:45:22 AM EST
You want to at least cover the cost of yours and your dates dinners. Average cost is usually $50 - $75 per plate, so I would say that $100 - $150 would be acceptable.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:48:14 AM EST

Originally Posted By kcr121:
Depends on what the reception is costing per plate. I usually give about $200.

I'd be able to give a more accurate response if you posted pictures of said date.

Your invite to my wedding is in the mail.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:48:57 AM EST
About tree fiddy...

or 87 bucks.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:49:31 AM EST
Oh come on...


$87
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:52:55 AM EST
$150

I wouldn't even go to a reception without an open bar.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:55:19 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:57:53 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/16/2009 11:59:36 AM EST by TrojanMan]
Originally Posted By dcs12345:
Open Bar + Real Food = 50ish per person

Finger Food + Open Bar = 40ishper person

Finger Food + No Alcohol = $12.50 All the booze you can carry


Fixed it for you. Adjust values to match the cost of the reception, BTW. (an "average" reception is currently around $60-70/person)



I showed up at a wedding one time and there was a sign on the bar that listed several soft drinks and their prices. This concerned me for two obvious reasons.

Since I'm proactive about this sort of thing, I asked the bartender what was the deal. He said he didn't know, you have to ask the manager. So I did. He said I'd have to ask the bride's father.

Perhaps not the best idea to bother a guy before his daughter gets married about whether there'll be booze or not, but I needed to know. It turned out to be left over from the previous party and we had plenty of booze on hand, but I was *this* close to running out before the ceremony and filling up my car with beer and wine.


If I'm invited to a wedding, there's only two reasons I'll go:
1) If it's open bar
or
2) If I'm allowed to make it open bar

Jesus didn't stand for it and neither will I.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 11:58:03 AM EST
This really shows how insular I am.

I am from the school you don't give the couple money nor do you request money (a la the money dance or whatever it's called). If you want to take a gift, great. When my wife and I invited people to our wedding, weren't thinking "wow, we could pay for the honeymoon if X number of people give us money". We invited people to share in the joy. Ok, I take that back, SHE invited people to share in our joy. I, on the other hand, invited my buddies to drink with me.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 12:46:54 PM EST
Originally Posted By mag162:
you cant give them 50 or even 100 bro. this is a NY wedding $300 minimum, Not some hic hall wedding somewhere


I was going to say it must be a regional thing because some of you guys are sounding downright cheap to me.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 12:55:41 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/16/2009 1:04:34 PM EST by zeekh]
I'm going to a co-workers wedding this fall. I'm figuring on giving $200.

Reception is Albany NY area. Cost per plate is about $75

My wife nor myself drink
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 12:58:48 PM EST
$100 per person
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 1:14:27 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wave:
Originally Posted By mag162:
you cant give them 50 or even 100 bro. this is a NY wedding $300 minimum, Not some hic hall wedding somewhere


I was going to say it must be a regional thing because some of you guys are sounding downright cheap to me.


I'm also from NY and I always give a minimum of $300. I actually got married 2 weeks ago and would say somewhere around $400 was the average.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 1:42:19 PM EST
My wife and I get something off their registry around $50. Then we give a cash gift that depends on the reception. We try to ballpark the cost of a plate per person. We'll do the price of the plate +30%. We're not big drinkers so an open bar doesn't really come into how we figure food costs.

We found out from our wedding stuff that many places the couple registers at gives the couple a 10% discount on the items on their registry that weren't bought. So we throw some cash their way to help them get the things that others didn't pick off the registry.

If it's a wedding we don't attend we get something off the registry around $100 and ship the item to them.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:10:05 PM EST
Originally Posted By JABS:
Originally Posted By Wave:
Originally Posted By mag162:
you cant give them 50 or even 100 bro. this is a NY wedding $300 minimum, Not some hic hall wedding somewhere


I was going to say it must be a regional thing because some of you guys are sounding downright cheap to me.


I'm also from NY and I always give a minimum of $300. I actually got married 2 weeks ago and would say somewhere around $400 was the average.


I was thinking $400.00 too but DAMN, that's almost the price of an LE Glock!

Link Posted: 6/17/2009 6:54:14 AM EST
morning bump
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 6:59:10 AM EST
What ever it cost them to have you at the reception OR if they attended your wedding whatever they gave (adjust for inflation if it was a long time ago)
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 6:59:10 AM EST
Our reception was about $75 a head. We had an open bar and served filet. Most guests that gave money, gave $50 for the couple. We paid $150 for them to be there. You do the math.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:12:08 AM EST
Threads like this make me glad DH and I got married on the cheap.

That said, depending on my relationship to the person and whether I go or DH and I go, anywhere from $25 to $200.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:15:38 AM EST
that location?

$200ish
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:22:04 AM EST
I'd say about tree fiddy.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:23:00 AM EST
None––- we are in a recession.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:38:23 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:43:44 AM EST
Originally Posted By Wave:
Originally Posted By mag162:
where is the reception


Staten Island. I believe its being held at Alice Austen House


Just call the joint and ask how much to host a head to host a wedding reception. As others said, you gotta at least cover the cost. Problem solved.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:44:33 AM EST
I throw a fifty and get hammered. Or you can go and berate the groom all night for ruining his life.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:45:02 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/17/2009 7:46:14 AM EST by AeroE]
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:45:33 AM EST
NY?

$150-$250 per person. Weddings in NY aren't cheap. You should at least cover your plate cost, and you're looking at a min of $75/pp
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:46:32 AM EST
50 or 100
depends on how drunk you plan on getting and how much of an asshole your going to be.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 7:50:07 AM EST
Originally Posted By Wave:
Originally Posted By JABS:
Originally Posted By Wave:
Originally Posted By mag162:
you cant give them 50 or even 100 bro. this is a NY wedding $300 minimum, Not some hic hall wedding somewhere


I was going to say it must be a regional thing because some of you guys are sounding downright cheap to me.


I'm also from NY and I always give a minimum of $300. I actually got married 2 weeks ago and would say somewhere around $400 was the average.


I was thinking $400.00 too but DAMN, that's almost the price of an LE Glock!



It is a regional thing. I need to only go to weddings outside of NYC! Anyway, I live in NYC and my deal is around $150-$200/head. You can base the final on things like Saturday night vs. Sunday afternoon etc. I think some other posts got it right, try and cover the plate.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 8:12:26 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/17/2009 8:14:13 AM EST by Kharn]
They've asked for you to be their guest, they didnt solicit a venture capitalist to help fund the wedding in return for a seat.
$50 each is good enough.
Originally Posted By 9mm4me:
Our reception was about $75 a head. We had an open bar and served filet. Most guests that gave money, gave $50 for the couple. We paid $150 for them to be there. You do the math.
You should've sold tickets rather than mailed invitations with that attitude.

Kharn
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 8:27:26 AM EST
Originally Posted By Kharn:
They've asked for you to be their guest, they didnt solicit a venture capitalist to help fund the wedding in return for a seat.
$50 each is good enough.
Originally Posted By 9mm4me:
Our reception was about $75 a head. We had an open bar and served filet. Most guests that gave money, gave $50 for the couple. We paid $150 for them to be there. You do the math.
You should've sold tickets rather than mailed invitations with that attitude.

Kharn


Trust me, I would have rather taken that money and put it down on a nicer house than have a wedding. Convincing the little woman of that option was an exercise in futility.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 8:30:13 AM EST
A few boxes of ammo from the dispensary should do

Link Posted: 6/17/2009 8:31:02 AM EST
Originally Posted By Wave:
Yes, I'm bringing a date.


fail.
Link Posted: 6/17/2009 8:31:58 AM EST
Originally Posted By FrankSL:
Originally Posted By Wave:
Yes, I'm bringing a date.


fail.


Yep...like bringing sand to the beach.

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