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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/28/2005 2:51:04 AM EDT
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally ! said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.


Link Posted: 9/28/2005 2:54:48 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:00:01 AM EDT


I'm single too
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:00:29 AM EDT
I think I'm gonna try that one.



Anybody care to let me sleep on your couch for a night or ten?
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:10:00 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:46:39 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:00:30 AM EDT


Bwa hah hah hah! More like no sex for a month, but that would be worth it!
There is always porn!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:04:44 AM EDT
That is too funny! God I could have used that one a few years ago!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:28:12 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:40:57 AM EDT


I'm glad I don't have a wife that thinks like that!

(She hates to spend money)
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:50:22 AM EDT
lol, awesome.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:53:10 AM EDT
I'd try that, but my couch is really uncomfortable to sleep on.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:57:34 AM EDT



Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:59:27 AM EDT
Holy shit, did you actually do that?
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:12:17 AM EDT
If this is true, that is one hell of a story.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:15:22 AM EDT
I wonder how many of you guys realize that WOMEN also get turned down for sex.

Just last night....

he rolled over, turned off the light, and that was that.

um...ok....

I mean, granted, we have sex ALOT. It's rare that we go more than 24 hours without. However..a willing woman in his bed, and that's what I get??

Maybe he had a headache. lol
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:20:17 AM EDT
Wow, that's damn funny.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:22:22 AM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
I wonder how many of you guys realize that WOMEN also get turned down for sex.

Just last night....

he rolled over, turned off the light, and that was that.

um...ok....

I mean, granted, we have sex ALOT. It's rare that we go more than 24 hours without. However..a willing woman in his bed, and that's what I get??

Maybe he had a headache. lol


You must not be married yet if you don't go more than 24 hours without, damnit
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:27:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DOW:
Holy shit, did you actually do that?



I wish I could take credit for that one but it was a joke an employee sent to me this morning
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:32:15 AM EDT

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:44:11 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 5:46:00 AM EDT by mayassa]

Originally Posted By daisywench:
I wonder how many of you guys realize that WOMEN also get turned down for sex.

Just last night....

he rolled over, turned off the light, and that was that.

um...ok....

I mean, granted, we have sex ALOT. It's rare that we go more than 24 hours without. However..a willing woman in his bed, and that's what I get??

Maybe he had a headache. lol



We (men) often endure our headaches and still find time(even if it is painfull) to service are spouses(a guy thing we don't tell the girls about, guy code stuff) opps let the cat out of the bag
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:50:54 AM EDT
That's too funny. I might try that on the hubby. Like this new tool dear? Cool jeep part eh? Patty
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 5:58:02 AM EDT
Patty,
stop posting I'm still trying to catch up!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:00:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By glk31:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
I wonder how many of you guys realize that WOMEN also get turned down for sex.

Just last night....

he rolled over, turned off the light, and that was that.

um...ok....

I mean, granted, we have sex ALOT. It's rare that we go more than 24 hours without. However..a willing woman in his bed, and that's what I get??

Maybe he had a headache. lol


You must not be married yet if you don't go more than 24 hours without, damnit



Maybe tonight I'll paint "Sig Sauer" on each of my breasts in whipped cream.
That should get his attention.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:02:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By mayassa:
Patty,
stop posting I'm still trying to catch up!



stop posting......<quick I can't breathe>.....someone hand me a paper bag......Don't say things like that, I have young children you know??!

Patty
PS Good luck
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:03:47 AM EDT
I saw the best quote the other day on zaadz.com (a cool quote sight)...

It was from the late, great Johnny Carson:

"It's true that married men live longer than single men, but they are much more willing to die..."

- AG
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:05:59 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 6:06:23 AM EDT by sydney7629]

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By glk31:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
I wonder how many of you guys realize that WOMEN also get turned down for sex.

Just last night....

he rolled over, turned off the light, and that was that.

um...ok....

I mean, granted, we have sex ALOT. It's rare that we go more than 24 hours without. However..a willing woman in his bed, and that's what I get??

Maybe he had a headache. lol


You must not be married yet if you don't go more than 24 hours without, damnit



Maybe tonight I'll paint "Sig Sauer" on each of my breasts in whipped cream.
That should get his attention.




This post is worthless without pics........
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:40:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By glk31:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
I wonder how many of you guys realize that WOMEN also get turned down for sex.

Just last night....

he rolled over, turned off the light, and that was that.

um...ok....

I mean, granted, we have sex ALOT. It's rare that we go more than 24 hours without. However..a willing woman in his bed, and that's what I get??

Maybe he had a headache. lol


You must not be married yet if you don't go more than 24 hours without, damnit



Maybe tonight I'll paint "Sig Sauer" on each of my breasts in whipped cream.
That should get his attention.




Or you can e-mail me the pics just for quality assurance(QA) check, I give you feedback make sure every thing looks good an all before you try it out on your hubby

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:43:01 AM EDT
Mayassa wrote:

Or you can e-mail me the pics just for quality assurance(QA) check, I give you feedback make sure every thing looks good an all before you try it out on your hubby


What, you can't wait for the Range Report?

lol
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:47:20 AM EDT
An oldie, but one of the best!!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:45:35 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:50:02 AM EDT
That was good....my wife laughed as hard as I did.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 12:40:35 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 12:55:12 PM EDT
That was great!
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