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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/10/2005 9:40:49 AM EDT
I'm a blonde...so no offense intended to blondes....


A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unphazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any."

"But I always buy it here." says the blonde,

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,

"This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM"



Link Posted: 8/10/2005 9:43:16 AM EDT


That was pretty good.......


How can you tell a blonde has been putting on makeup?



There's lipstick all over her mirror.......
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 9:47:37 AM EDT
A GOOD BLONDE JOKE, I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT A GOLDEN RETRIEVER

why do you always see blondes standing in the frozen food section staring at cans of frozen oj??

it says, concentrate
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 9:49:34 AM EDT
What goes "Vroom-screech. Vroom-screech"?
A blonde driving through a flashing red light.

What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever.

Why do blondes wear pony tails?
To hide the valve stem.

What does a blonde say after sex?
"Are you all on the same team?"

What do blondes and computers have in common?
You really don't appreciate them until they go down on you.

Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
So they'll have somewhere to rest their ankles.

How do you get a blonde to laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Thursday.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out on the screen.

Why did the blonde have square boobs?
She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.

What do you call a row of blondes?
A wind tunnel.

The blonde gold medalist is so proud of her medal she's having it bronzed.

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
Because they can't fit all that water in that little packet.

How do you keep a blonde in the bathroom all day long?
Give her a bottle of shampoo that says "rinse and repeat."

Why do blondes stare at orange juice cartons?
Because they say concentrate

Why was the blonde a bad farmer?
She couldn't keep her calves together!

How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her M&M's a tell her to alphabetise them

How can you tell if a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
The M&M shells on the floor

What is the similarity between a Blonde and a 747 Jet?
They both have a "Black Box".


WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A BLONDE THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE GOLFER WITH AN IQ OF 125
a foursome.

WHAT DO YOU GIVE THE BLONDE WHO HAS EVERYTHING?
Penicillin.



Link Posted: 8/10/2005 10:03:10 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 10:32:04 AM EDT
What do you call a blonde that wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the "loo" and suddenly is blinded by the flash from a hidden camera?



SP1Grrl!!!!!

<--------- [moves back to miss a right hook from SP1Grrl]
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:43:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 55Kingpin:
What do you call a an armed blonde that wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the "loo" and suddenly is blinded by the flash from a hidden camera?



SP1Grrl!!!!!

<--------- [moves back to miss a right hook from SP1Grrl]



Fixed it for ya.

[runs away quickly]
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:45:20 PM EDT
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A BLONDE THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.



Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:04:49 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:24:45 PM EDT
Good Ones! Patty
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 6:41:15 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 8:02:13 PM EDT
That's cause you look so cute and adorable when you're mad!



Link Posted: 8/10/2005 9:31:35 PM EDT
Why did the blonde snort NutraSweet?



She thought it was diet coke.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 6:53:17 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:


Now what have I ever done to you?!?



It's what you haven't done to me.....nevermind.

Lord I apologize, and please be with the starvin' pygmies down in New Guinea.....

That was wrong of me, but please take it light-hearted, hopefully you'll get a laugh.

I ran a few of these by a blonde girl that works with me, and she was dyin' laughin'. Then she said "do you have a piece of paper that I can write that one down on?"......quickly interupting me, she then said "nevermind, surely I can remember one!" I cracked up.....
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 12:48:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 55Kingpin:
What do you call a blonde that wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the "loo" and suddenly is blinded by the flash from a hidden camera?



SP1Grrl!!!!!

<--------- [moves back to miss a right hook from SP1Grrl]




Link Posted: 8/11/2005 12:52:23 PM EDT
Lump:

Are you leaving when your post count reaches 25k?? (in regards to your new "end of days" line....

See ya on the other side (site) bro.......

[end hijack/]
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 12:53:30 PM EDT
I think my account automatically gets cancelled at 25K
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 1:07:17 PM EDT
Why can't blondes ride in convertables?

It makes their heads whistle.

Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:33:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I think my account automatically gets cancelled at 25K



Serious.....do you have to reg. a new username......I thought sarge was over 25k..... unless you're playin' around.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:21:51 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:52:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
Yep, you have to register a new one when you hit 25K.
If something doesn't make sense, decide upon the set of facts which makes the most sense.



hmmm....you have over 26k.....I am officially a dumbass.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 6:24:19 PM EDT
Red head goes to the doctor. He asks her what's the problem? She says it causes her terrible pain everywhere she touches herself. She proceeds to take her finger and press in 3 or 4 places around her body producing screams and tears. She is obviously in signficant pain.

The doctor looks at her for a couple of minutes and then says "You're not really a red head are you?"

She says no.

He says, your finger is broken.

Also, remember blondestar?

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