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Posted: 9/18/2009 3:55:13 AM EST
Short story:

2 year relationship, very serious, committed. Broke up over a "nothing" fight. I said some cruel, horrible things to her. She called me the next day to say she thought we made a mistake in breaking up (I didn't know this until later)... instead of listening to her I just decided to be mean to her and tell her to fuck off.

Fast forward two weeks later. We are speaking again. She admits she still has feelings, but that the things I said to her cannot be forgiven (at least not in short time). I can tell you guys this because you are complete strangers and I'm not worried about someone thinking I'm acting like a little bitch about this. Yesterday she told me she loved me still but that she couldn't risk me hurting her again.

What can I do or say to this girl to get her to regain trust in me? I really feel like a changed man after all of the shit we've gone thru the past two weeks. Any of you bastards ever get the love of your life back? I told her last night that I understand why we broke up, I don't like it but I accept it, hope the best. She wants to remain friends, is this an opportunity for me to get back into her life? How do I conquer what her girlfriends are telling her... about how she should be alone, etc.?

Its hard to go from being intimate lovers to slamming on the brakes and being awkward friends.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 3:56:12 AM EST
You know the rules
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 3:56:44 AM EST
Have you tried hitting her?
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 3:57:58 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 3:58:17 AM EST
She wants to fuck you and continue to fuck who ever she is fucking now.

Link Posted: 9/18/2009 3:58:21 AM EST
Originally Posted By whatarippa:
You know the rules


!!!

Link Posted: 9/18/2009 3:58:42 AM EST
I said some cruel, horrible things to her.


Why?
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 3:59:19 AM EST
So what exactly did you say?

Odds are it was based in some true feelings that you'll have to deal with eventually if you get her back.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:00:47 AM EST
I mentioned the fact that she had an abortion.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:01:19 AM EST
If you feel like that then you don't want to be friends with her. Just eject and move on because you are really going to hate being around her and the new guy that is hitting it.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:01:51 AM EST
From what little information you've given, I think you two should go your separate ways.

You: You feel as though you changed? How exactly? You may be all regretful now, but odds are that will fly out the window the next time you get a "rage-head" on again.

Her: If what you did/said was really that awful, she should be done with you completely unless she's got poor self-esteem, co-dependency issues etc.

But, since I don't really care, other than for my own entertainment, here's some pragmatic advice. Tell her you want to be 'friends' too. And that you've learned a valulable lesson and are ready to treat the "next girl" better than you treated her. This might make her jealous and want you back fully.

Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:05:11 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2009 4:06:31 AM EST by PennsylvaniaExpat]
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I mentioned the fact that she had an abortion.


Ouch. Your only true way to regain her trust is to remain a true friend. Don't constantly bug her to get her back. And as contradictory as it sounds, you have to do it selflessly as much as possible.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:05:57 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2009 4:07:36 AM EST by fxntime]
Find someone else, once you say something [especially if you are trying to verbally hurt someone] you can't just retract it and expect them to forget about it. They won't and the relationship will never be the same again. Sometimes it's just better to walk away instead of saying spiteful things to hurt someone.

When you bring up things that happen in the past to "win" or hurt your SO/GF, it's time to step back and grow up some.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:06:00 AM EST
Originally Posted By SBCZILLA:
Have you tried hitting her?


THIS!

or maybe apologize if you're actually sorry. if you're not sorry, apologize anyways.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:06:45 AM EST
Originally Posted By AJ_Dual:
From what little information you've given, I think you two should go your separate ways.


QFT.

You two need to walk away from eachother.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:08:07 AM EST
Sounds to me like you've burned nuked from orbit that bridge.

If what you said is true, despite being harsh, do not run yourself through the wringer with guilt.

Learn from this. Move on.

Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:08:53 AM EST
Originally Posted By PennsylvaniaExpat:
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I mentioned the fact that she had an abortion.


Ouch.


Yep, yer toast. Move on. Do not be friends. Find a new girl.

I know this because I'm at least twice your age, and BTDT.

Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:09:00 AM EST
Originally Posted By SBCZILLA:
Have you tried hitting her?



[Sean Connery] Use an open hand , Lad. [ Sean Connery]





Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:11:43 AM EST
Originally Posted By SouthHoof:
Sounds to me like you've burned nuked from orbit that bridge.

If what you said is true, despite being harsh, do not run yourself through the wringer with guilt.

Learn from this. Move on.




Yeppers.....this man speaks the truth.

Woman do not forget and they sure as fuck dont forgive. You might find a way to wiggle back into her life but she will bury you one day for it. Like fucking elephants they are.

Move on.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:15:31 AM EST
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I mentioned the fact that she had an abortion.


That's a deal breaker right there. She will never forgive you for that, even if she eventually says she does it will always be in the back of her mind. She might even get back with you just to break your heart for saying that to her. It's over, you need to move on because she already has after you said that to her.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:15:59 AM EST
why do you want to be with a baby killer
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:20:04 AM EST
Go your separate ways.

if you still have feelings for her months from now, try it again, but chances are it wont go anywhere


the fight happened, mean things (based on truth) were said

not every couple is meant to be together
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:21:50 AM EST

Men and women can't be friends, especially if there was previous consensual banging involved.

Both of you handled this situation poorly.

Cut ties with her and move on.

Remember this episode and remind yourself to engage your brain before putting your mouth in gear.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:24:36 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2009 4:25:00 AM EST by sleepy56ace]
So she's the love of your life you say, yet you verbally abused her intentionally? She deserves better than that. Maybe with the next "love of your life" you might actually consider her feelings and not bring her down like that.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:29:43 AM EST
Tell her your sorry and give her your wallet including your mancard. Try to be friends so you can keep the "pie" on standby. Tell her you will start watching Oprah with her.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:44:54 AM EST
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:47:41 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2009 4:50:03 AM EST by Schadenfreuda]
Sounds like she is suffering from some long-term abandonment issues...or she is desperately ugly.

Attractive women don't act like that if there is nothing wrong in their heads.

So yeah, eject...that is what a mentally healthy woman would do in this situation.

Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I mentioned the fact that she had an abortion.

1 Dead, 1 wounded...permanently...see above advice.

Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.

...and this did NOT help.

Seriously, if you still want to date her, make sure gets some decent counseling.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:51:43 AM EST
You have to send me the nude pictures you have of her so I can edit them for the BOTD forum first.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:51:57 AM EST
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.


Damn! Sounds like you got some unresolved feelings about this, yes?

Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:53:07 AM EST
Originally Posted By Glockgirl26:
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.


Damn! Sounds like you got some unresolved feelings about this, yes?



I'd say so. Walk....keep walking. Stay freinds for pie only.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:56:10 AM EST
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
Short story:

2 year relationship, very serious, committed. Broke up over a "nothing" fight. I said some cruel, horrible things to her. She called me the next day to say she thought we made a mistake in breaking up (I didn't know this until later)... instead of listening to her I just decided to be mean to her and tell her to fuck off.

Fast forward two weeks later. We are speaking again. She admits she still has feelings, but that the things I said to her cannot be forgiven (at least not in short time). I can tell you guys this because you are complete strangers and I'm not worried about someone thinking I'm acting like a little bitch about this. Yesterday she told me she loved me still but that she couldn't risk me hurting her again.

What can I do or say to this girl to get her to regain trust in me? I really feel like a changed man after all of the shit we've gone thru the past two weeks. Any of you bastards ever get the love of your life back? I told her last night that I understand why we broke up, I don't like it but I accept it, hope the best. She wants to remain friends, is this an opportunity for me to get back into her life? How do I conquer what her girlfriends are telling her... about how she should be alone, etc.?

Its hard to go from being intimate lovers to slamming on the brakes and being awkward friends.


It's an opportunity to get hurt more than you already are. EJECT.

Additionally, the love of your life would not abort your child without at least consulting you first. Fuck Her.

Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:56:12 AM EST
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.


It's over - move on.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:56:14 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2009 4:57:18 AM EST by ihatespngbob]

Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.

If you were not in agreement with her doing it than I see no issue in throwing that up in her face, after all she killed your child. If you were all for it, then you are just as wrong and guilty for killing your child as she is.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:57:10 AM EST
You just need to move on. You obviously have some sort of negative feelings towards her. You can't fix what you broke, even if you turn into a little bitch for her. What you had is broken and will never be the same. Save both of you the trouble and just move on.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 4:58:46 AM EST

Originally Posted By ProudVeteran:
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I mentioned the fact that she had an abortion.


That's a deal breaker right there. She will never forgive you for that,......
And this is largely because she will never forgive herself.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:02:29 AM EST
Wow you guys are bigger losers than I am

you guys remember my nude photos thread from a few days ago, yeah....

Pretty ugly situation. This has really fucked me up.

I haaaave gotten two pieces of pie since the breakup though
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:03:15 AM EST
Hmmm...I'd use the time to get right with the Lord. I say this because my life mirrors many of the aspects of this thread. Gave up dating, made a commitment never to have pre-marital sex again, and got involved at church. A year later...I met my wife. We dated for a year and our first kiss was when the pastor said, "You may kiss the bride." That was 21 years ago.

God does honor and bless those who take Him at His word. Or, you can continue down this path and are in for a dumptruck full of pain and misery for the rest of your life. You decide.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:03:55 AM EST

Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.

Ouch!


You wanted your ass kicked. Here it is:

1. Never go full retard.

2. Move along. This relationship is toast and will never be the same. Never.

3. Grow up.

4. Learn when to keep your mouth shut. (I've learned that this is very useful in all aspects of life.)

4. Never go full retard.


Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:05:57 AM EST
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.


Oh dear God.

As far as you two being together, this situation is irreparable.

You may remain friends, but sooner or later she's going to meet and fall in love with someone else. And he's going to find out what you said, and be infuriated, and she'll pick him over you. Which in all honesty she should.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:07:03 AM EST

Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I asked her how it felt when they sucked it (our child) out of her.

offense meant, but your just awful. coc prevents me from saying my true feelings. if you were a man you would never ever go there. you should be just as tore up over something like that as she would be, your kid and all.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:07:06 AM EST
Originally Posted By Mazeman:

Originally Posted By ProudVeteran:
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
I mentioned the fact that she had an abortion.


That's a deal breaker right there. She will never forgive you for that,......
And this is largely because she will never forgive herself.


Correct. Even strongly pro choice women tend to suffer severe long term or permanent emotional trauma when they have an abortion.

There are the occasional exceptions for people with no conscience who have had 2, 3, or 4 abortions, but those exceptions are very rare.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:09:35 AM EST
go find a girl with less emotional baggage
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:10:23 AM EST
Originally Posted By SBCZILLA:
Have you tried hitting her?




Dirty bastard
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:18:09 AM EST
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
Wow you guys are bigger losers than I am

you guys remember my nude photos thread from a few days ago, yeah....

Pretty ugly situation. This has really fucked me up.

I haaaave gotten two pieces of pie since the breakup though


From previous GF or someone else?
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:23:48 AM EST
You just fail down the ladder.

She was fucking someone else within a day of you two breaking up.( more than likely a friend of yours)

She will use you for your friendship to get revenge.

Eject it's over, what has been done cannot be undone

And never go full retard, that was already pointed out.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:23:58 AM EST
From two new girls, once each. It's empty sex.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:25:22 AM EST
What does going full retard mean??
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:26:18 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2009 5:27:53 AM EST by Lacoochee]
I am going to give you the same advice I gave you a couple of days ago.

Walk away, tell her you are sorry and tell her the truth, that you will never get over her killing your child. How do you forgive and forget that?

By the way, you have already slept with two woman since? Really??!? The love of your life my ass... I think you have far bigger issues than just the baby killin' ex-gf.

Just some random advice from some guy on the internet, you need to to go see a counselor, pastor, priest and take some time out and figure out what the fuck you want from your life.

If it's a string of lays with the occasional, oops, I'm pregnant and I am getting an abortion, that's fine but don't fucking come here whining about it.

On the other hand there is another way, called developing committed relationships, I am not saying there is no pain down that path either but the chances are less and you will be able to hold your head up in the morning.


Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:26:54 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2009 5:33:04 AM EST by StraightShooter7]
Move on.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:28:02 AM EST
I thought you burned this bridge?

Didn't you publicly post her pics or something?

I didn't stay up with your last thread on this gf.

___________________________

Why are you even talking to her? Move on.
Link Posted: 9/18/2009 5:31:14 AM EST
Originally Posted By DaveyJonesLockerUSN:
From two new girls, once each. It's empty sex.


Do yourself a favor and move on, you've already proven to yourself that its over by having sex with somone else. Is she really going to want you back after you treated her like crap, and showed how much you loved her by sleeping with 2 people with in as many weeks of ending your relationship.
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