Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Posted: 10/10/2004 6:18:57 PM EST
So, my mother sent my father over to safeway to pick up some frozen strawberries (she likes smoothies). He asks if we need anything, so yea, a case of diet MD and a thing of jam. After he leaves, my mother tries to call him on his cell to get him to get something else. Three times. I say, "uh, mom, you know he left his cell phone here, don't you?"

"no, I didn't know that."

"well, he did."

So when he gets back, she says she tried calling him three times to ask him to get something else.

"Well, what was it? I'll go back out," he says.

"Oh, it was nothing. I wouldn't make you go out again."

"No, what was it? I'm volunteering."

"It was nothing."

This repeats a couple times. So, my father just utters one of his daily "I hate my life" statements. Which I can understand. Shitty job with a shitty commute through shitty traffic, waking up at a shitty hour, and half of his money is taken by taxes for shitty socialist programs and the shittily high mortgage. She shouts "FUCK YOU! I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF YOU! FUCK YOU!" Did I mention his shitty wife who goes batshit insane when she gets drunk, like she was now?

I, naturally, come downstairs to see what's going on.

"Well, I just came back and she said she wanted me to-"

"FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING COCK!"

"-to get something else-"

"YOU FUCKING LIAR! YOU LYING SHITHEAD!"

"-for her, and I say I'll go get it, but she-"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! YOU FUCKING LIAR!"

"-won't tell me what it is, and so I said 'I-"

"STOP TELLING THESE CHILDREN LIES! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

"- hate my life.'"

Anyway, all this time she was punching and kicking him, but she's got rheumatoid arthritis, so she's pretty weak, but I pull her off of him anyway. More screaming, and then she goes into the kitchen and throws the jar of jam at the window. Fortunately, the jar lost. More screaming, and she tosses a big bottle of mustard on the ground, spreading it all the way to the nice oriental rug in the foyer. I sigh, get a mop and bucket while they scream, and go outside to fill it up. Once I finish, I bend down to turn off the faucet, stand up, and get a nasty ding on the side of my head from the flag holder. Anyway, I go in, mop it up while they scream, and go outside and dump the water.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT! YOU DUMPED IT ON THE FUCKING STEPS!"

"They're concrete," I reply.

"BUT ITS GOT FUCKING MUSTARD AND SHIT, YOU FUCKING MORON! IT'LL GET TRACKED INTO THE HOUSE!"

"Yeah, except you missed the part where they dry overnight. Nobody's going to be walking over those before dawn."

"YOU FUCKING ASS! IT'LL GET TRACKED INTO THE HOUSE, YOU DIPSHIT!"

"Look, here's an easy solution." I turn on the hose and wash off the steps.

"YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DO THAT IF YOU HAD DUMPED THE WATER IN THE HERB BED, YOU FUCKING MORON!"

"It had mustard. It would have killed the herbs."

Extend this for five more minutes, whereupon she goes into her room and slams the door.

Please, for the love of god, parents out there, tell me that this isn't normal. If somehow it turns out my family isn't completely screwed up, I'm gonna have to go suck-start a shotgun out of terror for the coming years.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:23:07 PM EST
Thinking of moving out?
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:23:17 PM EST
sounds stable.


Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:23:30 PM EST
Your parents are exceptionally disfunctional.


I thought I was the only one around here who used the term "suck start a shotgun".
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:24:02 PM EST


First of all, NO, that's not how "normal" people interact.

My parents were married 50 years and the most they ever fought was 5 minutes and then a day of "pouting" to follow up. That was IT.

Second, how old are you? This is a totally unacceptable way of living your life.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:26:48 PM EST
Wow, your family sounds pretty nice compared to what I had to grow up with.

As for you, get the hell out.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:27:12 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2004 6:27:32 PM EST by _Ugly_]
"Did I mention his shitty wife who goes batshit insane when she gets drunk, like she was now"

To be honest... this is usually what I think about when I hear of bullshit family fights.

Get her off the booze.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:27:16 PM EST
It's not normal. You need to go out with your ole dad for a beer and tell him to keep his chin up.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:27:37 PM EST

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:
Your parents are exceptionally disfunctional.


I thought I was the only one around here who used the term "suck start a shotgun".



He's not talking about doing it for fun though.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:27:59 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:28:09 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2004 6:29:57 PM EST by dave223]
Damn. Hang in there. I cant imagine growing up with that.

Edit to add......I mean "hang in there" as in keep your chin up. Obviously you need to find a way to get out of that disfunctional situation.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:28:50 PM EST
Yeah,dude...listen to Airwolf.

Depending on the circumstances and how old you are,either "mom" needs to go to detox or a home,or you need to get the hell out.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:28:58 PM EST

Originally Posted By Phil_in_Seattle:

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:
Your parents are exceptionally disfunctional.


I thought I was the only one around here who used the term "suck start a shotgun".



He's not talking about doing it for fun though.



I'm aware, i'm just commenting on the term.

Lots of crazy things on the boards tonight, BTW.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:29:37 PM EST

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
That is extremely dysfunctional. Get out while you are still able to relate with normal people on a normal level, if you still can.




Yeah, or else you're liable to use internet discussion boards as a primary means of social interaction.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:30:31 PM EST
I would had told the bitch off LOL

I think you handled it maturely, I have a fucked up family to so your not alone
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:32:10 PM EST
Always blame the drunk one.

You'll be right 99.9% of the time.

Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:32:26 PM EST
Sorry man, but I will eventualy see you all on "COPS".
Or Court TV.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:32:56 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:34:59 PM EST
why on earth did I get called out on this one?
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:35:07 PM EST
If this tory is truthful You are a young man and HAVE to deal
with this madness. If so,
Deal with it till you can Leave.
Then get out and dont look back until YOU have shed the
responsability of being "a part of the situation" Go away and find
you OWN way in life. DO NOT try and fix things. It WONT help them,
It will only HURT you.
As a man that spent my Teen years Trying to Parent my Parents I can say
Its NOT YOUR JOB!
I know you love em, I know the world is a scary place, But staying
there will not help ANYONE!

If this story is BS then...
FU it isnt funny
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:36:07 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2004 6:42:56 PM EST by thebeekeeper1]
<Personal attack removed>
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:36:40 PM EST
You and your dad go join the foreign legion .......and quick
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:37:12 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:37:22 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2004 6:43:28 PM EST by thebeekeeper1]
<Personal attack removed.>
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:37:26 PM EST

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:
I thought I was the only one around here who used the term "suck start a shotgun".



I got it from you.


Originally Posted By nightstalker:
Thinking of moving out?



One year, eleven months till I start college. Guess who'll be opting to live on campus?


Originally Posted By _Ugly_:
"Did I mention his shitty wife who goes batshit insane when she gets drunk, like she was now"

To be honest... this is usually what I think about when I hear of bullshit family fights.

Get her off the booze.



We've tried. She's tried. Actually, she developed diabetes, and she opted to use a pill instead of insulin injections. The doctor said since the pill would weaken her liver, she needed to stop drinking. She lasted a week and a half, yer longest yet of at least ten tries.


Originally Posted By Airwolf:
Second, how old are you?



And therein lies the problem. Sixteen, broke, unable to get a job, and thus unable to get the fuck out of here in any way that would last.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:40:31 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2004 6:44:34 PM EST by thebeekeeper1]
<Personal attack removed>
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:42:04 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2004 6:45:18 PM EST by thebeekeeper1]
<Personal attack removed. Knock it off!>
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:42:19 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:45:48 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:49:01 PM EST

Did I mention his shitty wife who goes batshit insane when she gets drunk, like she was now?

Normal drinkers don't behave this way.

Here is my suggestion. Look in the phone book for the local AA office and ask where the Alanon and/or Alateen meetings are. The people there are learning how to deal with the problem drinker and can help you with her.

If that doesn't appeal to you, here is another. When she throws and breaks stuff, don't clean it up. She did it, she can fix it. Sounds like you and your dad are trying to do anything and everything to 'help' her.
It is too long a story, but if I ever had a wife like that, I hope I'd have the guts to give her two options. One: Get help for the alcoholism, and I would do all I could for her, or
Two: Get out.

Good luck.


Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:55:13 PM EST
Get a very large life insurance policy on your mom!!

­

<­BR>

"Go Fishing!!"
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:57:21 PM EST

"no, I didn't know that."
"well, he did."
So when he gets back, she says she tried calling him three times to ask him to get something else.
"Well, what was it? I'll go back out," he says.
"Oh, it was nothing. I wouldn't make you go out again."
"No, what was it? I'm volunteering."
"It was nothing."
<begin rant>



Sounds like an Italian family!
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 6:57:46 PM EST
Hang in there, MagKnight. And stay close to your Dad after you leave, he'll need you. You'll need each other. I suspect he is going to stick with your Mom thru thick and thin. Class Act. Hopefully it won't bring him down too far before your mother kills herself from the booze. That, sadly is the reality and if she is having liver failure it could be making her psychotic, not to mention vitamin deficiencies which are almost certain, and insults to her pancreas which will result in her requiring insulin injections. Does her belly swell yet? Does she shake? She needs to see a doctor for some lab and exam, and she needs vitamin replacement with Thiamine, folate and B12. But do not expect her to live long with what you are describing. Just trying to prepare you a little, just in case.

You must live your own life though, always remember that, and try to succeed in spite of it. Plenty have.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:00:58 PM EST

Originally Posted By Airwolf:


First of all, NO, that's not how "normal" people interact.

My parents were married 50 years and the most they ever fought was 5 minutes and then a day of "pouting" to follow up. That was IT.

Second, how old are you? This is a totally unacceptable way of living your life.



Calm down Airwolf, there are kids in Angola and Rwanda that see their parents gutted and cut down with machettes and they still go on with life.

Everyone has shit to deal with... it's just that the way that you deal with it determines the person you are.

---------
A man... can be an artist... in anything. In food, whatever... it depends on how good he is... at it. Creasey's art is death... he's about to paint his masterpiece. I don't have anything else to say.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:03:21 PM EST

Originally Posted By drjarhead:
Hang in there, MagKnight. And stay close to your Dad after you leave, he'll need you. You'll need each other. I suspect he is going to stick with your Mom thru thick and thin. Class Act. Hopefully it won't bring him down too far before your mother kills herself from the booze. That, sadly is the reality and if she is having liver failure it could be making her psychotic, not to mention vitamin deficiencies which are almost certain, and insults to her pancreas which will result in her requiring insulin injections. Does her belly swell yet? Does she shake? She needs to see a doctor for some lab and exam, and she needs vitamin replacement with Thiamine, folate and B12. But do not expect her to live long with what you are describing. Just trying to prepare you a little, just in case.

You must live your own life though, always remember that, and try to succeed in spite of it. Plenty have.



Belly swelling, I dunno. She got her diabetes from obesity, so it is hard to tell, and that's not meant as an insult. As for shaking, not really.

She sees doctors all the time because she has a shitload of problems. Not the least of which are her obesity and diabetes, blood pressure, rheumatoid, smoking, drinking, and inactivity. So far, though, none of them have seen anything related to vitamine deficiencies, yet.

Almost everybody related to me that's died has died of alcohol problems. My grandfather on my father's side drank himself to death after my grandmother died from mixing whiskey with sleeping pills. My great-grandmother on my mother's side died of liver failure. And everybody related to me of drinking age, everybody, has ended up as an alcoholic, although my father is the least addicted.

You can maybe see why I don't particularly want to touch the stuff.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:03:26 PM EST

Originally Posted By Tallbob:

Did I mention his shitty wife who goes batshit insane when she gets drunk, like she was now?

Normal drinkers don't behave this way.

Here is my suggestion. Look in the phone book for the local AA office and ask where the Alanon and/or Alateen meetings are. The people there are learning how to deal with the problem drinker and can help you with her.

If that doesn't appeal to you, here is another. When she throws and breaks stuff, don't clean it up. She did it, she can fix it. Sounds like you and your dad are trying to do anything and everything to 'help' her.
It is too long a story, but if I ever had a wife like that, I hope I'd have the guts to give her two options. One: Get help for the alcoholism, and I would do all I could for her, or
Two: Get out.

Good luck.






as far as the Not cleaning up after her goes a big +1

Everything else is BS.

ITS NOT YOUR JOB and dont think it is...
Your father and his wife are the ones with the problem NOT YOU!!!
Operate on your own level and Do NOT get caught up trying to
policeThier Problems.
Dont try and talk her into AA.
Dont try to console Dad.
Dont try to be the Mediator.

Its NOT your Job
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:19:39 PM EST

Originally Posted By MagKnightX:

Originally Posted By drjarhead:
Hang in there, MagKnight. And stay close to your Dad after you leave, he'll need you. You'll need each other. I suspect he is going to stick with your Mom thru thick and thin. Class Act. Hopefully it won't bring him down too far before your mother kills herself from the booze. That, sadly is the reality and if she is having liver failure it could be making her psychotic, not to mention vitamin deficiencies which are almost certain, and insults to her pancreas which will result in her requiring insulin injections. Does her belly swell yet? Does she shake? She needs to see a doctor for some lab and exam, and she needs vitamin replacement with Thiamine, folate and B12. But do not expect her to live long with what you are describing. Just trying to prepare you a little, just in case.

You must live your own life though, always remember that, and try to succeed in spite of it. Plenty have.



Belly swelling, I dunno. She got her diabetes from obesity, so it is hard to tell, and that's not meant as an insult. As for shaking, not really.



That is useful to know.
The drinking will make it worse, count on it.


She sees doctors all the time because she has a shitload of problems. Not the least of which are her obesity and diabetes, blood pressure, rheumatoid, smoking, drinking, and inactivity. So far, though, none of them have seen anything related to vitamine deficiencies, yet.


Drinkers tend to become deficient in the vitamins I mentioned and this can lead to psychosis, memory problems, peripheral nerve problems, anemia, etc. Think about it if there has been a change in her behavior or if it is bizarre.
If your Mom is acting out at the Doc or is uncooperative she will not get the proper care. Just a thought. We can't make patients do what they don't want to do. I quit holding everybody's little hand along time ago. Total waste of time for both of us.


Almost everybody related to me that's died has died of alcohol problems. My grandfather on my father's side drank himself to death after my grandmother died from mixing whiskey with sleeping pills. My great-grandmother on my mother's side died of liver failure. And everybody related to me of drinking age, everybody, has ended up as an alcoholic, although my father is the least addicted.

You can maybe see why I don't particularly want to touch the stuff.



I wsa going to say that but I didn't want to sound preachy and it ain't my call. But you are probably someone who should never have a single drink. To be honest you ain't missing all that much.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:22:40 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2004 7:23:57 PM EST by sum-rifle]
First you call her your "Mom" then you say "his wife" I am guessing she is not your mother so I will say "Get you and your dad the hell away from that psycho bitch" ie DIVORCE

Does she not realize she threw a fucking jar of mustard in the house and made a mess that you cleaned up and she is yelling at you because "someone might track it into the house"?
I would have let her clean the shit up while I was on the phone to the police to have her arrested for Domestic Violence" (Spousal battery) on your father. Fuck her.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:23:13 PM EST
Sounds similar to my life at home.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:29:59 PM EST
If she is being treated for rheumatiod arthritis, she shouldn't be drinking. What I take (methotrexate) can cause bad liver problems if you drink. All the other RA drugs I have heard of are the same. Sounds like she is an alcoholic, if you get drunk enough to raise hell like that, it isn't social drinking. She needs help, but until she decides to get it, nobody can force her.

Good luck...sounds like you are handeling the situation as best you can.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:38:59 PM EST

Originally Posted By sum-rifle:
First you call her your "Mom" then you say "his wife" I am guessing she is not your mother so I will say "Get you and your dad the hell away from that psycho bitch" ie DIVORCE

Does she not realize she threw a fucking jar of mustard in the house and made a mess that you cleaned up and she is yelling at you because "someone might track it into the house"?
I would have let her clean the shit up while I was on the phone to the police to have her arrested for Domestic Violence" (Spousal battery) on your father. Fuck her.



+1. No matter what the cost, you and your dad get out. It is not helping either of you. I would call the police next time she is abusive like that as well. It will make things go easier when you and your dad decide to leave. Sometimes we feel stuck in situations and can't see that there is a way out. Help your dad see that he can choose to make things how he wants them. You guys can have freedom simply by making the decision to do so.

I too was the victim of an unbroken home. Both my parents were crazy (literally) though. Made it really hard to develop relationships while growing up. Still suffering from some of the after effects at 38. Try and surround your self with good role models (friends parents, good friends) so you can see what a relationship is supposed to look like. That was my big problem. I grew up seeing no affection between my parents. When I first got into relationships I had no idea how to act. Try to learn these things when you are as young as possible.

Good luck and best wishes. You can feel free to PM me anytime you need to vent.

And Norman- He mentioned you because of your comments in SGTars thread about losers at home on Friday night.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:41:00 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:41:45 PM EST
Is your mother going through menopause? Mine talked like that when she was going through the change. The difference between you and me is that I finally told my mother if she ever talked like that to me again I'd rip her head off. She never talked to me like that again. You don't have to take that crap from ANYONE.

It was a shame I was forced to get that way with my mother but I snapped and couldn't take it any longer. Apparently she realized I snapped and changed her demeanor from then on. Now she's a nice old lady who you would never believe could have been that way. (That happened long, long ago when I was about 18 years old.)
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:47:39 PM EST

Good point to consider RDak. Certainly could be a contributor. Might be tough to pin down though without labwork as her other issues could affect her typical menstrual cycle.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 7:54:57 PM EST
No that is not a normal home life. Although it seems that it is the 'norm' for a lot of kids, unfortunately. I'm sorry you have to go thru this.
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 8:09:20 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/10/2004 8:12:13 PM EST by Paul]
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 8:25:59 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/11/2004 6:10:59 AM EST by jblachly]

Originally Posted By drjarhead:

She sees doctors all the time because she has a shitload of problems. Not the least of which are her obesity and diabetes, blood pressure, rheumatoid, smoking, drinking, and inactivity. So far, though, none of them have seen anything related to vitamine deficiencies, yet.


Drinkers tend to become deficient in the vitamins I mentioned and this can lead to psychosis, memory problems, peripheral nerve problems, anemia, etc. Think about it if there has been a change in her behavior or if it is bizarre.



Don't forget, B12 deficiency can also cause CENTRAL ns problems not just pns!

edited to say: cobra-AK I like your avatar, looks kinda like mine, but different gun ;)
Link Posted: 10/10/2004 8:26:21 PM EST
No matter how old you are you gotta explain that highly charged emotions gets nothing done only rational calm behavior will get things done right. Screaming and yelling get nothing done, explain that to both of them before things get really outta hand.....
Top Top