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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:04:12 PM EDT
[#1]
I should think it's obvious. You're gay. Sorry.  
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:04:57 PM EDT
[#2]
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:06:23 PM EDT
[#3]
I guess I should bring up, I played a prank on a friend of mine today, a girl-friend of mine. I jsut wet my hands and grabbed her chest so everyone knows she was previously violated. But, she responds with, "Wow! Now I know you're not gay!"
I don't have a lisp, I don't cross my legs, I love guns and I wear gear swag all day, with a Tac-Bag. That's got straight all fucking over it. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:06:24 PM EDT
[#4]
Yep 
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:06:42 PM EDT
[#5]
Found your problem. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:07:21 PM EDT
[#6]
ETA- Oh, you're gay?
You are a "Nice guy"? Just checking. I bet I'm right. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:07:42 PM EDT
[#7]
Try blowing your load on their face every now and then. That is usually pretty clear sign of heterosexuality and quite a few ladies appreciate it.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:08:52 PM EDT
[#8]
In denial 
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:09:12 PM EDT
[#9]
There are few girls that want guys to be nice at first. They want you to be an ass grabber and a ass kicker. Then once they own you and have taken your man-juice, they can tell you to hold their purse. Ever notice how gay guys are male friends. Know why? Cause they aren't after that Wang Dang Sweet Poontang! Sorry, I've got a little Uncle Ted in my head tonight. I had some girls try to spill their life stories to me and I act interested for about 30 secs, then give them the "shit happens" routine. Their speech goes something like this in my head...
"Yeah, so Josh said he really wanted to go out some...5.56mm...time and he thought...I wonder if Wal-Mart has any more 100 packs of 9mm...that I was really cool and pretty but...Man, I really need to stock up on ammo, I don't have more than 1000 rounds of mix and match...he didn't know if he was looking for a girlfriend or whatever...CMMG...so what do you think?" "Yeah, shit happens." |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:09:45 PM EDT
[#10]
Fuckers.
I love vagina. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:09:46 PM EDT
[#11]
www.intellectualwhores.com/ You're on the wrong ladder.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:09:46 PM EDT
[#12]
They think you are not interested because you did not play grab ass.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:10:40 PM EDT
[#13]
Nice guy = no backbone.
Sorry, that's how chicks see it. Want to not be viewed as a "nice guy"? Don't let yourself be a doormat. Otherwise they'll keep up the "he's just a friend, such a nice guy" crap. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:12:40 PM EDT
[#14]
That's bullshit though. I've got to let go of my class and grab their ass, instead of just fucking telling them that I like them?
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:13:23 PM EDT
[#15]
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:14:06 PM EDT
[#16]
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:18:48 PM EDT
[#17]
Dude face it. They see you as a safe limped dicked faggot.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:20:39 PM EDT
[#18]
Youre making our case. Girls dont like nice guys at the age and stage you are in. Why are the asshats getting their pussy and you are left holding their purses while they get laid? Where is Eric Estrada and the homo thing when you need it! |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:22:09 PM EDT
[#19]
I always find topics like these funny. Whenever somebody post asking how to get women everyone always says "just be yourself". Then someone post a topic like this and everyone says "don't be yourself".
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:22:28 PM EDT
[#20]
I didn't say that. The trick is to have the confidence of an asshole without actually being one. Just don't let yourself get walked on. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:22:43 PM EDT
[#21]
Ok, fuck it. Next time I see the "of legal age" one I like, she's getting her tits squished like sponges. It's fucking over.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:23:17 PM EDT
[#22]
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:23:48 PM EDT
[#23]
That just chilled me to the core. It's one thing to know it... It's another to hear it. i mean, from somone other than Mrs Goon 
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:24:26 PM EDT
[#24]
+1. If you follow ladder theory, I just made a staggering jump from the "friend" ladder to the "sex potential" ladder by generally ass-grabbing and being an asshole. I had been on the "friend" ladder for a little over six months. Be more of an asshole, the girls will love you for it. Sad but true. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:25:59 PM EDT
[#25]
More proof you're gay. A sraight guy would have said pussy. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:26:14 PM EDT
[#26]
 I'm sorry......Did ANYONE want to know the key to getting hot chicks? It's all in this thread. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:26:55 PM EDT
[#27]
Then your girlfriends will just feel pity for your obvious and desperate attempts to deny your latent homosexuality. just kidding - but I don't think your new approach is going to work either.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:27:56 PM EDT
[#28]
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:28:45 PM EDT
[#29]
In college I used the friend thing to the max. I called it the fungus technique. Basically I grew on them until I got some. There wasnt a "gal-friend" that I did not get any from.
Once they know and trust you, you are in. But confidence is a must and be a nice guy. Confidence will make them wetter faster then any big dick. The only exception is a large wallet. Then all bets are off. Large wallet will win eventually everytime. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:30:04 PM EDT
[#30]
you had powerful mojo, doc. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:30:20 PM EDT
[#31]
I dont know why, maybe its what I do for a living, but that has to be one of the funniest things I have read in a while! And you are CORRECT! This guy has gay tendencies, not that there is anything wrong with that.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:30:31 PM EDT
[#32]
 Tequila! Use it wisely...
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:32:36 PM EDT
[#33]
Or a roofie.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:34:39 PM EDT
[#34]
I prefer Pavulon, I always get some then. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:38:16 PM EDT
[#35]
You like limp squid women? Its a muscle relaxant and the will melt into a puddle on the floor! |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:39:28 PM EDT
[#36]
Where the fuck did you find a picture like that? No fuck that.. keep it to (or for) yourself. Damn, ardoc. Best advice yet! |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:42:09 PM EDT
[#37]
I guess thats why chick struggle to say they get weak in the knees around me before they hit the floor. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:43:32 PM EDT
[#38]
classic ladder theory.
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:47:23 PM EDT
[#39]
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:50:00 PM EDT
[#40]
That really is disturbing. 
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:50:25 PM EDT
[#41]
[Chef]Find the clitoris[/Chef]
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Posted: 3/10/2006 9:58:49 PM EDT
[#42]
Whatever you do, don't be yourself.
And if you want to drive a woman crazy, pay a shitload of attention to her slightly less attractive friend, and almost none to her. Won't necessarily get you laid but can incite a riot. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 10:00:27 PM EDT
[#43]
Need a friend? 
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Posted: 3/10/2006 10:05:46 PM EDT
[#44]
I was going to ask her friend (Whom is attractive, and older) to prom, since we're all 'JUST FRIENDS' But, she's got a boyfriend. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 10:11:19 PM EDT
[#45]
Oh damned! 
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Posted: 3/10/2006 10:20:37 PM EDT
[#46]
Ok. Got it. So, next time I meet a girl at a good restaurant, I write on a napkin..
"Hey. I was wondering if you wanted to bang uglies some time. My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX Fuck me, -Nate |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 10:26:13 PM EDT
[#47]
No freak. That's the whole "confident without asshole" thing. THAT'S an asshole thing. Simply say: "Hey there, thought you had a pretty smile. Maybe take ya to lunch sometime? If not, no big deal. Gimme a call if you want too. Nate" Then, if that doesnt get one or two, THEN do the "nice shoes, wanna fuck" routine. |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 10:28:02 PM EDT
[#48]
This one went downhill pretty quick
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Posted: 3/10/2006 10:30:04 PM EDT
[#49]
Um...no.  That would SO not work with me, or really...anybody that I know. How about just being you, and sending the signal that you are interested...and let the chips fall where they may. Sounds like you might stick around too long after the "we aren't clicking" signal has been sent, and end up with lots of "friends." If the connection isn't there, just move on. Just trying to help here.  |
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Posted: 3/10/2006 10:32:53 PM EDT
[#50]
No shit man. Studdermonkey, you've got to learn the differance between the confidence of an asshole and being an asshole. They are not the same. Oh, and it's Bump Uglies, not bang. EDIT: In more recent years when I get to the point of making my romantical interest known (I don't wait as long as I used to either) and I hear the, "Oh, I just started dating somebody" lie or the, "I just want to be friends" BS line I have begun responding that they should have told me that earlier so I would stop wasting my time on them. I have plenty of friends already. Nice meeting you. Then I walk away and stop calling them. More often then not they call me back in a day or two and ask me out. Go figure, eh? |
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