I have read many Idiot on the range posts, now lets hear some of the funny things you have seen. Here's mine.
One day as I was stepping out the door to shoot on my own personal range, I saw a ground hog running across the top of my RR tie back stop.
That's not the funny part. The funny part is, I was only 50 yds away using the rail on my porch as a rest,,, AND I MISSED IT... And if that ain't the kicker, it jumped down to the ground and was just standing there next to my target stand when I missed it with the second follow up shot.
The reason I missed it twice was because I was going to resight it in from 69 gr ammo to 55 gr ammo. It was shooting the 55 gr ammo too high and I was too much in disbelief to think about it because of Mr. Groundhog.

not really a range story but when i was a little kid my dad had planted a garden in the backyard and worked is butt of getting the soil just right. any way one day he goes out to check on the corn and flop it falls over. he then sees a damn Gopher poking his head out
so he went in side got his 1911 locked and loaded and sat out waiting for that little SOB and BAM killes his deader than a door nail of cousre my mom juust hapens to pull up and starts Screaming at him wth were u thinking?
. course now we look back and laught at it

First notable thing that comes to mind is at  Camp Grayling we were shooting the 300 rapid, prone.  You're kind of in a zone when shooting but I remember hearing a different sound.  You usually don't pay much attention to the noise (you have hearing protection on) but I heard what sounded like a a round hitting a frying pan.  I finished my string and as I leaned over to see what I could see through my spotting scope I saw the fellow 2 targets to the left with an M1A with a shattered stock and the op rod hanging grotesquely down.

It was a borrowed rifle.

Second thing, was at Camp Grayling also, maybe even the same weekend. We got done shooting one of the strings and we were given permission to police brass.  I'm out front of the berm picking up brass and I'm looking very intently for .223 brass when I see something that looks like a big lizard tail.  I get right up close to it and I'm trying to figure out which way his head is when I notice his tail ends in about 5 rows of pairs of little buttons.  HOLY SON'S O' BEACHES IT'S A FREAKING RATTLE SNAKE!...HERE IN MICHIGAN....AND I'M STANDING WITH MY NOSE ABOUT 18 INCHES FROM IT.

One more thing not range related.

I was just a teenager over to my girl freinds house for supper one week end.  her family had just moved out into the country from the city and they all just reveled in all the nature.

They had also just put in a beautiful garden and as we sat in the family room waiting for dinner I noticed a rabbit in the garden.  Someone said shoo it away.  Well trying to impress my lady and her parents I said let me tag him with the BB gun (they had one in the garage).  I said I'll just put one pump in it and sting him in the arse.  

They said OK.

I put just one pump in it and I swear to God that I was aiming for his rear, but when I touched it off the poor critter flopped over and started doing the death twitch.

I got him right in the eye.

It was a very, long quiet dinner.

The rattler's not gonna hurt you.  He'd rather leave you alone than provoke you.  I slipped at the lake once and put my hand in a bush (on accident) my hand landed right on a rattle snake.  That bush came alive and my brother and I (drunk) went running down the side of a mountain in the dark (not a smart thing to do).  We couldn't shoot the snake because it's a state park.

Here is my one funny story. I was at a local range on a Tuesday afternoon. The range has three different sections, the rifle range, pistol range and the tac range. They are divided by a large concrete wall about 12' high on either side. I was the only person on the rifle range shooting my 10/22. I had just purchased a couple of 50rd mags and I was running one of them through the paces to make sure it would hold up to rapid fire. Now there is no rules regarding rapid fire on the range, they even rent full autos there.

About 1/2 way into the second mag of 50rds I hear someone yelling at me. It was the newly hired 19 year old range nazi (cleanup boy) telling me to quit shooting so fast. He was followed by some guy that was on the pistol range that I had disturbed because of my rapid fire with a .22 LR. He didn't even have the courtesy to come next door to the rifle range to speak to me personally, he went straight and whined to mgmt. To say the least I was hacked at such a tattletail attitude and the little jackass's unwillingness to listen to my side of the story.

I promptly packed up my stuff and took it to my car. I then went straight into the shop and told them I would like to rent the M16A2 and I bought $100 worth of ammo. I proceded to the TAC range, which is positioned on the opposite side of the pistol range from the rifle range, and I began to load mags. As you may have guessed, I stayed for about 30min dumping full auto bursts downrange. After all the ammo was gone I picked up the brass, checked on the pistol range to make sure I had ran that guy off, turned in the M16 and I haven't been back since. I wish I could have seen the look on his face when I started with the fullauto though....

Michael

One of the officers in my old gunclub got a call from a neighbor near the range, reporting gun shots coming from the (private) range, AT NIGHT.  He jumped into his truck and drove over to the range.

He found two non-members sighting in their Winchester 338 Magnums, so they could leave for Idaho the next morning on a hunt.  They had climbed over the fence, and one clown was on the 25 yard firing point shooting the Mag, WHILE HIS BUDDY STOOD BESIDE THE TARGET WITH A FLASHLIGHT.

Went to the range last year, pulled up, and low and behold there was a rabbit at the 50yd line. Well we thought, *#%$, he is a brave bunny, must be bullet proof. Well we walked past him while he was eating and set up some targets at the 100 yrd berm. That little basturd didn't move the entire time we were shooting. HE JUST SAT THERE AND ATE! We just left him there enjoying his lunch. I hope no one else decided to shoot him after we left as that rabbit had a HUGE set a balls!

I guess I have one more funny range story. During the range session of my CHL class I was shooting next to a little old lady who I would guess was about 70. I was shooting a 9mm and the old lady was shooting an old GI 1911. I put all of my rounds squarely in the center except for one flyer about a half an inch out at 15yds. The old lady put three rounds into the bottom/left of MY target. She barely had enough points to qualify, but she did get her CHL. I hope Im never around if she ever has to draw down on somebody....

Michael

 At the range shooting my Bushmaster shorty when a man and his 2 sons set up at the end of the firing line with a portable trap. Got out their shotguns, load clay on the trap. One son got in position, Dad pulled cord and the clay flew straight into the side of the storage building on their right at the end of the range. Several of us, our interest piqued now, decided to watch. Dad cocked the trap , put in a clay. Son got ready, Dad pulled cord; clay flew into the side of the building, again! It wouldn't have been so bad but they did this 5 more times before they tried moving the trap! I later found out that the Dad was a respected heart surgeon. Just hope I never need his services!

 Bushman556

steve: your rabbit story reminds me when i was in ukia at a cowboy match and was shooting then a damn rabbit started runing across the range so i said F*ck it im gonna take the 5 second miss and nail that little SOB missed him by a mile with my 45 lc marlin

I was at a range down in San Diego County, about a mile from the Mexico boarder.
I went there on a Tuesday morning so I could have the range to myself.
When I arrived there were three other people there, no rangemaster.
After the range went hot we started shooting. Not more than 20 seconds later an illegal comes running back behind the 300 yard berm backstop!!
We all stopped shooting and looked at each other in total amazment. We waited to see if any INS or Boarder Patrol were following. None were.
Too funny.

There is actually a it of a lesson to this one.

I was an active firearms instructor with my PD up until last year.

Several years ago my self and another instructor were on the line with a group of officers in a quarterly qualification run.

We watched in amazement as a new officer dropped his mag, from Sig Sauer P226, and pulled his walkie talkie from his belt and tried to stuff it in his pistol, for a reload.

We pulled him off the line and found what had happened. At the police academy he positioned his spare mags where he could get to them easily. Once back "home" he loaded his belt with all the necessary gear. You guessed it by now - the WT was situated in the same place as his mag was during the firearms training at the academy.
His reflexive habit developed at the academy caused him to reach to the same place. Being somewhat young and inexperienced he was a little stressed wanting to do well in the qualification.

Lesson - under stress we will almost always revert to what we have learned and developed as a habit - good or bad.

At the 100 yard range, my shooting partner and I were sighting in our recently assembled FAL kits when two separate groups of smallbore shooters began setting up.  I've never seen smallbore shooters before and watched them bring out little rifles with tiny (almost cute) bipods and set up anemometers.  The trio to our right included two men and a woman.  All three gave us disapproving looks as they put down mats slightly ahead of our benches (you know, because of our EBR's).  My partner comments that it looks like the bowling league is here.

The line was called safe while they all put out targets.  When everyone is done, we call the line hot and take a quick check; the guys on the left put on ears and start tinkering with their rifles.  The trio on the right start tinkering but the woman hasn't got her ears on.  My partner and I both call out "Line is hot" and "Ears!"  Again she just looks at us without taking any action.  Okay, fine.  I chamber a .308 round in a muzzle braked rifle.  My partner says "but she doesn't have her ears on."  I say "Well, not for long!" and light one off.  Blam!!!  A .308 sure seems loud from an 18" muzzle braked rifle.  The woman quickly put on her earmuffs.  

P.S.  What did she think I had?  An air rifle?

I was sitting at the range one day, shooting my AR-15, my GF's father was at the next bench shooting his -15, and my GF was behind me using binoculars to call our shots.  We had just gotten our AR-15s about two months ago, so we were still new to them.

My GF's dad went from using only his hands to hold his AR15 on the last range trip, to sticking it on the surface of the bench, clamping the handguard to the bench with one hand and aiming/firing with the other on this trip.  Of course, his shots no longer hit where he aimed (I think he flipped to the <200m sight instead of the 300m sight) and he decided he had to do something after only shooting 10 shots (He's a pretty bad shot to start, so it could have been him, and my GF was the one who sighted his gun in for him, as he was too busy assembling our clay thrower on the last trip).  He pulls out his trusty cleaning kit and starts cleaning the lower, he never touches the upper.  He does everything but remove the pistol grip while cleaning the gun, before I realized what he was doing.  I tell him that cleaning the hammer wont do jack for accuracy, so he puts it all back together and shoots some more, like 5 rounds.  

Of course, he STILL isnt hitting where he wanted.  So, he sees a guy down the range boresighting his bolt gun.  He takes his upper off, pulls the bolt and carrier and places the handguard on the surface of the bench.  At this time, I'm off in La-La land talking to the RO about my -15 and his Colt 1911 and watching my GF shoot a borrowed S&W .22, I never realized what crime could be occuring to that poor AR15.  GF's dad starts boresighting the rifle by EYE, he'd take off his glasses, look down the barrel from the back of the upper, put his glasses back on and then adjust the sights so it pointed the same place as the barrel appeared to point.  

After about half an hour of trying out all the different guns on the range, I realized what he was doing and asked what his results were.  He shot about 5 more rounds, and a ceasefire was called.  We went out to the targets and pulled them down as we had a previous engagement to go to.  His group was unchanged, up and to the left with about 20 rounds on paper were still in about a 4" circle, which was most likely due to his poor choice of clamping the handguard to the bench with his left hand while shooting.  On the way home, I handed him my copy of the TM and told him it was required reading before we went to the range again.

He still shoots horribly with his Ar15 and still invents his own practices for getting the gun to do what he wants.  I dont think he read the TM...

Kharn

I once had a guy on a 4 wheeler ride out of the woods and across the berm at our local rifle range. He left in a hurry when it dawned on him where he was (and how many rifles were pointed his direction)!

Once, the guy two lanes down from me went downrange to check/change his targets while the range was hot and the bullets were a-blazin'.  He got about 25 yards downrange before anyone noticed and a cease fire was hastily called.

At camp Perry in the leg match last year, a lady shooter was waiting for the targets to come up at 300 rapid. She did not notice the 2' garter snake that had slithered up on her mat. When the targets popped up and she looked down she went "aiyeeee"! The snake took off, and she flopped down and managed to shoot a high-90 score with a couple Xs. [:D]

A couple weeks ago at Oak Ridge, three turkeys came out and fed on the 300 yd line while we shot at 600 and 1000. They were all in my scope when I was trying to dope the wind and spot my hits - I was tempted, but an out-of-season hen turkey is not worth a DQ or a wildlife violation. There have been lots of critters at that range, including deer running across during matches.

At another highpower match, a "chunky" friend of mine was sitting on his Creedmore aluminum stool, scoring another shooter. This line has a bit of back-slope to it. Suddenly his stool legs buckled & gave way and he rolled over bassackwards, ass over tea kettle LOL!

I also heard of a guy who used his carbide lamp to black his sights, then threw it into his stool in a hurry and went up to the line for rapids. Suddenly, a cease fire was called and he smelled smoke - his stool was totally on fire LOL! [BD]

Michigan Rattlers are supposed to be non-toxic. I say supposed to be because I have not been bit, neither has anyone I know.

true story..
friend of mine gets girl pregnant ...not married... a few weeks later he goes shootin out in the boonies with her dad(not very smart)... dad and friend laying on a burm dad sights in with his 30-06 and fries a turtle about 150 yrds away...looks over to my friend and says"he one fatal mistake was he moved too slow." next weekend my friend had a lovly wedding...

About three or four weeks ago I took my nephew (age 11) to shoot for the first time. I pumped the 4 rules into him, and the whole thing when people are down range. He knew the rules.
We set up on one end, a guy breaking in a bolt w/ scope is on the other end. He shoots/cleans, and he has a chrono set up.
My nephew is getting into it, doing a great job, shooting tight and safe. Loving it.
I guess the other guy got tired of looking through his scope at the numbers, and thought my nephew was shooting good too, because he wanders downrange to read the chrono whilst not only is the range hot, BUT MY NEPHEW IS SHOOTING A STRING!
I yell to stop firing. My nephew stops and gets scared. Thinks he did something wrong. It takes a while to explain that the other guy had violated a serious rule, and was being very rude to us in doing so. Just took him back out this weekend, he was shooting great groups, and having a blast.

Hmm, this is a two parter.  I shoot at a 50yd indoor range out in the swamps south of New Orleans.  Sighting in the Propoint on my M4gery Bushie with some home made 11x14 paper targets.  All of a sudden the rangemaster/owner comes trotting in and yells that I can't shoot targets that small because I'll hit and damage the target frame/floor/ceiling etc.  So I returned the target into which I just finished a 30 rounder and showed him the 2 in group.  His eyes got big and he just said damn and told me to have fun. Said he was used to all the homeys coming by and their lack of marksmanship.  Which brings me to part two later in the day.  Three of those homeys (underprivileged, minority urban dwellers) showed up with a brandnew AK.  After loading two 30 round mags it took them about 5 minutes to figure out how to insert one into the gun.  Then they ran a lifesize target to the 25 yd mark and started blasting away.  By that time I had thrown all my stuff into the bag and was keeping low heading to the door.  Walking out I heard 'shoo damn, bro, kill'ed 'em good'.  The target had 4 holes in it out of 60 rounds.  Man, I could hardly keep from laughing until I was out of earshot.  Then I told the rangemaster that I now understood his earlier concern about small targets.

Fritz

I was shooting yesterday @ on Lake Kellogg Road in Sultan. We arrived (3 of us) parked my truck, and began to set up targets and load som magazines. I always carry a whistle when I shoot in groups to signal a start and a stop. I blew the whistle 3 short bursts to signal all clear and lets start, my buddies and I all have AR's we proceeded to shoot, I suddenly saw out of the corner of my eye two teenagers emerging from a trail. I blew my whistle to stop firing. The teenagers thanked us for stopping and said hi, the female looked flushed, probably due to hiking as they walked away, we noticed her underwear slipping down her pants leg and falling out down by her shoe. Nice.


[sex]

I live in Southern Arizona and shoot at the Tucson Rifle Club.  One afternoon while I was testing some new loads in my Swedish Mauser, somebody on the range shouted "Hey!  There's people behind the berm!"  Sure enough, on the hills downrange behind the 100 yard berms were a bunch of Mexicans coming up from the border.  Why these people decided to move TOWARD the sound of gunfire is beyond me, but we stopped firing on all of the ranges and called the Border Patrol.  

It seems that about 350 people came across the border that morning and the Border Patrol was busier than a one-armed paper hanger.  They were rounding them up as fast as they could, and the round-up had driven them in the direction of the range.  They were really lucky that no one caught a stray round.

Shooting skeet on station 7. Two shells in my 12 gauge autoloader. I call for my high house, out comes the bird, broken, about 75% intact. Its flying an erratic path coming directly at me. I decide to shoot it anyway, first shot misses, second shoot misses, I finally had to step off the damn station so I wouldn't get hit in head by my own target. The rest my squad just about died laughing.

I finally got even though, cause the  next round I got to shoot 2 at low-8. [:D]

About 4 years ago I was at the range and during the cease fire, this guy starts to set up a chrony in front of his bench.  Everyone is back behind the firing line patiently waiting for this guy to finish up so we can get back to shooting. He takes the bolt out of the gun and sights down the bore, goes out and moves the crony, he repeats this about 7 or 8 times and now we're all getting pretty pissed of since the cease fire is going on for 15 minutes because of this guy. Finally, he decides that he's all lined up and the range goes hot.  All eyes are on the guy as he touches off his first shot and blows the shit out of his chrony, you should have heard the collective cheer from everybody on the line was deafening!

Proof ONCE AGAIN that there IS a Santa Clause!!!!!

Blue207 should appreciate this. About two years ago I was shooting a tactical match with covering garment. First couple of stages go good. Third stage is supposed to represent being attacked by a pack of dogs. I get the buzzer, start shooting, go to my belt for a fresh mag and grab my pager instead. I slid my hand around and got a mag, but I now carry my pager on my strong side.

Another time I watched a guy shoot a custom 357 S&W with scope at an USPSA indoor match. He is banging along when suddenly the gun makes a funny noise. I see a chunk of metal come flying my way which embeds itself in the wall. The cylinder was ruptured, the top strap bent, and the scope is nowhere to be found. The guy was stunned, but otherwise unhurt. We looked for the scope and someone finally chinned themselves on a support and found the scope sitting on top of the ceiling deflector panels.

A friend and I were at the pistol range a few years back when the Dirty Harry movies had just introduced the .44 Magnum to the rest of the free world.  We noticed a young fellow a few points down from us with his brand new 8" S&W 29.  

At 25 yards he couldn't hit the paper.  Frustrated, he asked if we would take a look at his new 29 to see if there was a problem. My friend, Ed, asked the owner if the gun had been sighted in.  He said he wasn't sure how to do it and asked Ed if he would mind shooting it to see if he could detect any problems.  

Ed, who prefers .45 LC in single action,
reluctantly agreed.  He took the 29 and fired one shot into the target.  Knowing he was at least somewhere in the black, we preceded down to the target to check the hit.  The bullet hole just managed to cut the lower left leg of the "X", a near perfect shot.

With a straight face, Ed told the new owner something to this effect, "It does seem to shoot a little low and to the left, of course it could just be me".  Staring at the hole in utter disbelief, the new owner asked, "wanna buy it?"

not funny haha but funny sad...I have a big thing about being at the range and letting anyone play with my toys....If they look twice they get to shoot it....One day as I was shooting on the thirty yard with my trick 10/22, a couple of girls were shooting near me with a winchester....I asked if either would like to try my beauty...one said she wouldn't shoot a rifle with a scope because her daddy said it was
a bad habit........her girlfriend did though and she liked it....

Funniest thing I ever saw at the range was a blind guy and his seeing-eye dog. Seems that the blind guy was practicing to get a CCW. I got out of there in a hurry. Yikes blind man with a gun.

When I first qualified for my CHL in 96, we had probably 18 on the range at a time. One guy (musceled up body builder type) also has his GF taking the course with a Colt Pony. This doll is wearing her shortest white shorts, little tennis top and white tennys with those socks with the little balls on the back. Don't get me wrong, all the guys on the range appreciated her presence tremendously. As the instructor is going through his safety talk, I notice her slapping a clip in and managing to rack the slide on the Pony (a NO NO at this time). Before I can say anything, the instructor is moving down the range to correct the situation when the FIRE ANT bed she has been standing in decides its had enough, and as if on cue, they all bit, she spun, and pointed the cocked,(NOT LOCKED) loaded .380 at all of us and the instructor before he managed to wrestle it away from her. He later made her qualify by herself. Mr. Atlas was duely embarrased also.
ps: PONYBOY, My mom just requalified with her sigma with a 246 out of 250, and she's 76. But I know what you mean too.

I've got a couple.........

When were in college, my buddy and I would regulary go shoot at a public range north of town about 10 miles.  One afternoon we had this high school kid shooting next to us.  He was decked out in camo from head to toe, and even had the camo do-rag on.  He was shooting a .270 with a cheap Tasco scope on top.  After he would shoot a few rounds he would beat on his scope.  Whack!  Whack! Whack!  After watching this several times, we asked him what he was doing.  He declared that he was 'getting the cross hairs to settle in'.  Finally, after about a half hour of this, he got frustrated and left 'because he couldn't get the damn thing to sight in'.

Another time at the same range, a dad had his two young sons out shooting their .22LR bolt guns.  Both boys had a rifle and were taking turns shooting at hedgeapples that were lined up about 25 yards our.  They had 13 hedgeapples in the row.  When they packed up to leave, I asked if they were finished with their targets.  When they said yes, I slipped a 20 round mag into my M-1A, started on the left end of the hedgeapple line, and started rapid fire.  Each shot hit an apple, and their were apple remains flying 20 feet in their air.  When I finished I turned around, and both boys had eyes the size of silver dollars.  

Last one.
My buddy and I regularly hunt prarie dogs together.  When we were still in high school, we were hunting a town near his home after school one day.  After shooting a couple, we moved in closer to inspect the damage.  We found one dog who was still showing faint signs of life.  My buddy was 10 feet from the dog when he raised his .270.  Before I could yell 'Don't do it', he fired.  When he turned around, he had prarie dog shit and intestines all over his face and his glasses.  It was nasty.

When I was in college in West Virginia I went shooting with a friend and his AR and his .300 Win Mag. Our normal range (the Sherrif's range) was not available, so my friend tells me he knows this old man who lives up a holler that has a trash dump he lets people shoot in. We head up to the old guys house, ask politely to use his dump, and away we go. There's old refrigerators, stoves, cars, all kinds of steel stuff we're just blasting the crap out of, not to mention our shoulders. We start digging around for fresh stuff to shoot and find a couple of these BIG gallon size mason jars filled with what looked like sauerkraut. We propped them up on a car hood and backed off only about 50 yards. I hit one of them with the .300 and it disappeared for a second, then this rotten, foul crap starts raining down on us, we're getting pelted. We're both ready to spew and decided to not shoot the other one. The the old man noticed our splattered appearance as we passed his house, and told him about the jars. Said his wife set those back in the dump close to ten years before. [puke]

Three of us went out to the desert today to do some 1000yrd shooting.  We were there for a little while and my friend says, "I wonder how far a .45acp will shoot?"  Needless to say, we chose the 800yrd 36"x36" steel plate as the target.  8 rounds later, we were rolling on the ground!!!  Out of a 1911, we hit the steel plate.  I didn't think that would be possible... I know what your thinking, but I have three witnesses.

... and yes, the gun was nearly straight up!

fuatos

I was the range officer of the combo event,at a Chevyn sportsmans team challange.It had rained the whole night before.It being a new range there was plenty of mud.a lot of straw was spread around.I told everyone before they started that if you fell it counted.This team had a pretty big fella on it.When he ran back to the start box he kinda slid all the way through it.On his butt!Since he was the last of the three shooters I ruled it counted even if he didnt stay in the box for long.

Quite a few years back,my wife an i went to visit my parents on the farm. I had brought along a .22 revolver and a shotgun to teach my wife how to shoot. We set up a bunch of cans in the treeline behind my folks house and proceeded to blast holes in all of them. We set the guns down and went to check the targets.  What we had not noticed, was a open area in the woods that my dad had planted watermelons and muskmelons. Well, there were only a couple of surviving melons in the whole patch.  Felt about two inches tall, my dad dearly loved muskmelon.  Ben

My two friends and I were trying desperately to kill some groundhogs in the farm we were visiting.  It seemed that everytime we looked for them, they would disappear, but when we went inside we would see them come out again.  Finally I tried low crawling up to one with a single shot .22, my friend had a 10/22.  Neither rifle was sighted in.  From a distance of 30 feet we opened up, me one shot, him 10.  Not a single hit on the bastard, who ran into a hole.  Later, when we had given up and taken showers to go out and get drunk, we saw the groundhog again.  We looked at him, looked at our nice clothes and said "f@ck it!"  All three of us ran inside to get 12 gauge shotguns, ran outside and unloaded from close range again.  No hits, and I am beginning to think those guys are bulletproof.