Funny Signs Posted in the Restroom

General » General Discussion

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Funny Signs Posted in the Restroom (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 1/2/2003 1:42:46 PM EDT

Have you seen any?

I got a laugh out of this one:

"Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand!"

Posted: 1/2/2003 1:51:34 PM EDT

[#1]

I'm going to put one in my guest bathroom that says, "You piss on my seat, I shit in your mouth!" [shock]

Posted: 1/2/2003 1:54:26 PM EDT

[#2]

I've always been partial to:

"Do not eat the big white breath mint"

posted above the urinal.

Posted: 1/2/2003 1:57:36 PM EDT

[#3]

I was taking a whiz at a place called the Rockledge one night and written on the wall was the phrase "I'd like to make love to a jellified corpse."

Right below it someone had written "Grape or Strawberry?"

Posted: 1/2/2003 1:59:48 PM EDT

[#4]

"Do not play in, on, or climb this container for any purpose"

-sticker on the urinal at work

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:02:02 PM EDT

[#5]

Please don't throw toothpicks in the urinal, crabs can pole vault.

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:02:53 PM EDT

[#6]

[b]Please Dont Throw [blue]Ice[/blue] In The Urinal.[/b] [;)]

[b]We Aim To Please..You Aim Too Please.

[b]Thank You[/b] [:D]

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:03:16 PM EDT

[#7]

"If there is a shortage of hose, please step forward."

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:06:39 PM EDT

[#8]

"No reading during peak hours."

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:10:23 PM EDT

[#9]

"All you steers with short horns stand close; the next fellow might be barefoot."

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:10:41 PM EDT

[#10]

Does anyone have pictures of these?

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:14:13 PM EDT

[#11]

One I saw Long Ago in a not so clean restroom.

I have Sh@t in England
I have Sh@t in France
But before I Sh@t here again..... I'll Sh@t in my Pants!

MM419

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:17:53 PM EDT

[#12]

[img]http://www.allowe.com/images/bathroom%20signs.jpg[/img]

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:34:21 PM EDT

[#13]

To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

-On a faucet in a Finnish restroom

Notice in the toilet of Nariman Point office, Bombay:

"This urinal is out of order - please use the floor below."

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:37:21 PM EDT

[#14]

We have a sign in a warehouse facility:

"IF YOU URINATE ON THE FLOOR, PLEASE CLEAN IT UP! "

I photocopied it and hung it up in my office.

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:37:39 PM EDT

[#15]

"Do not shoot up in our bathroom. Find somewhere else to OD"

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:37:45 PM EDT

[#16]

My favorite was on one of those hot air hand dryers. Our local Congressman was a guy named Jack Brooks.

Someone had scratched on the air machine: "Push botton for a message from Congressman Brooks."

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:41:01 PM EDT

[#17]

No wonder you always go home alone.

---Sign over mirror in Men's rest room, Ed
Debevic's,Beverly Hills, CA

Express Lane: Five beers or less.

---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's,Beverly
Hills, CA

Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers

---Inside toilet stall door, Men's rest room

Posted: 1/2/2003 2:57:29 PM EDT

[#18]

"Beer Rental Return Station" Outback Steakhouse.

Posted: 1/2/2003 3:04:41 PM EDT

[#19]

"Toilet camera is for research use only"

Posted: 1/2/2003 3:15:31 PM EDT

[#20]

I use to use a restroom where someone had written "Flush twice, it's a long way to Cavellini's." I never know what that meant until I stopped in the town of Cle Elum, about 15 miles away to eat lunch one time. There was Cavellini's Restaurant. That was by far the worst food I had (or every have) eaten.

Posted: 1/2/2003 3:24:34 PM EDT

[#21]

Here I sit broken hearted...tried to shit but only farted.

Posted: 1/2/2003 3:45:03 PM EDT

[#22]

"The guys in 2nd Infantry Company are studly men and great lovers

..... (signed) Achmed, 12 years old"

Things like that were written in the bars the regiment used to frequent. If you didn't already have to piss, you'd piss yourself reading it.

Alternatively:

"It's no use standing on the seat, the crabs in here can jump ten feet" [;D]

Posted: 1/2/2003 4:00:18 PM EDT

[#23]

"Silly Faggot!, Dicks are for Chicks!"

Posted: 1/2/2003 4:00:22 PM EDT

[#24]

Scribbled on a condom machine...

"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber"

Posted: 1/2/2003 4:03:40 PM EDT

[#25]

"My mother made me a homosexual!"

Written underneath

"If I buy the yarn will she make me one too?"

Posted: 1/2/2003 4:07:32 PM EDT

[#26]

Similar to the one above...

Flush twice, its a long way to the galley.

Posted: 1/2/2003 4:14:09 PM EDT

[#27]

At Emory in Atlanta over a urinal..... "The power to control rape is in your hands"

Posted: 1/2/2003 4:31:47 PM EDT

[#28]

Ok, One more that I've seen.

Those that write on Sh@thouse walls roll their sh@t into tiny balls.

Those who read their word of wit eat those tiny ball of Sh@t.

MM419

Posted: 1/2/2003 5:09:16 PM EDT

[#29]

In a subway along with all the other stickers with a easy to understand universal diagram.

"Employees must wash their genetals before returning to work"

Posted: 1/2/2003 5:43:11 PM EDT

[#30]

At a outhouse in Philmont while backpacking
"All turds weighing more than 3 pounds most be lowered by rope"

"In days of old when when knights were bold and condoms weren't invented, we slipped a sock upon our cock and that's how children were prevented"

Then there was a two seater side by side with one labeled Pilot the other Copilot and a two seater back to back Pilot and Bombadier.

Posted: 1/2/2003 6:32:06 PM EDT

[#31]

[b]From Spectre: "Here I sit, broken hearted, came to shit but only farted".
[/b]
I've seen the second verse, which is "Then one day I took a chance, blew a fart and shit my pants."

Posted: 1/2/2003 6:48:25 PM EDT

[#32]

"Stand Closer, It's not as long as you think it is."

Posted: 1/2/2003 6:58:21 PM EDT

[#33]

At the U fo M we had these great urinal mats, you know, the things that usually hold the urinal pucks. They had this black square that upon being showered with urine would reveal the words "Go Gophers!" Those things kicked ass.

Posted: 1/2/2003 7:09:36 PM EDT

[#34]

"Here I sit, cheeks a flexin', givin' birth to another Texan".[:D]

[peep]

-T.

Posted: 1/2/2003 7:11:32 PM EDT

[#35]

"Roses are red, violets are blue, if you're reading this you're pissin on your shoe"

"If brown is beautiful I just sh@it you a masterpiece"

Posted: 1/2/2003 7:13:44 PM EDT

[#36]

"please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal --- It makes them hard to light"

Posted: 1/2/2003 7:25:54 PM EDT

[#37]

At the airport.

Those with short stacks or low manifold pressure please taxi closer to the defueling pit.

edited because GB took away the spell checker.
(the check for bronze is in the mail)

Posted: 1/2/2003 7:32:34 PM EDT

[#38]

"Stand closer, it's shorter than you think"

Posted: 1/2/2003 7:41:25 PM EDT

[#39]

In a bar one time: Any little boy can pee on the floor but it takes a man to sh!t on the ceiling. [And on the ceiling there was a turd smashed into a ceiling tile] And in a porta-pot above the urinal it says please wash hands before returning to work, with an arrow pointing down.

Posted: 1/2/2003 7:44:14 PM EDT

[#40]

My mother has one in her bathroom that she has had forever, it says:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be so sweet and wipe the seat.

Posted: 1/2/2003 7:45:34 PM EDT

[#41]

One I saw on one of those hot air dryers:

1) Push button
2) Rub hands briskly under hot air.

Then handwritten

3) Wipe hands on pants.

Posted: 1/2/2003 8:31:16 PM EDT

[#42]

"worse part of being a dick your best friends a pussy,your neigbors a asshole and somebody comes by every now and then and beats ya till you puke"

Posted: 1/2/2003 8:53:40 PM EDT

[#43]

"I've fu*ked women from all over the world, but someday I hope to fu*k the Air Force the way the Air Force fu*ked me."

-Toilet at Prince Sultan Air Base, Saudi Arabia

Posted: 1/2/2003 8:59:08 PM EDT

[#44]

Scrawled in large script, "I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!"

Beneath it in neat handwriting, "Go home Dad, you're drunk."

Posted: 1/2/2003 9:00:43 PM EDT

[#45]

"If its Yellow its Mellow, if its Brown it goes down."

-At some nasty hippies house

They really did it too, to save water.

Posted: 1/3/2003 12:26:26 AM EDT

[#46]

On the only door:

"EXIT"

Posted: 1/3/2003 2:21:48 AM EDT

[#47]

"Objects in mirror are smaller than they appear"

Posted: 1/3/2003 3:02:44 AM EDT

[#48]

"You don't buy the beer here, you rent it." --over a urinal.

"Please do not eat the big white mint"
---scribbled under it, somebody wrote "Yeah. It tastes like urine soaked mothballs!"

And under that, someone else had scribbled, "How would you know what moth balls taste like?"

To which the (apparently, by comparing handwriting) first responder replied, "You just have to know how to get them to spread their tiny little legs."

In a sleazy dive of a bar and grill:

"Please do not flush more than once a minute or the kitchen sink will overflow." [puke]

Best joke yet seen over a toilet or urinal:

"Why did the (insert ethnic group) wedding come to such an abrupt end?...

...Somebody flushed the punch bowl."

CJ

Posted: 1/3/2003 3:08:11 AM EDT

[#49]

Seen at a bar in Aberdeen, Md.:

"If your hose is too short, or your pump is too weak, stand a little closer or you'll piss on your feet."

Posted: 1/3/2003 3:11:15 AM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
"Do not shoot up in our bathroom. Find somewhere else to OD"

View Quote

I flew through the Minneaapolis-St. Paul airport today, and they were sharps (biohazard) drop boxes in the restrooms. This was BEHIND the security checkpoint.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Funny Signs Posted in the Restroom (Page 1 of 2)

General » General Discussion

Warning

Confirm Action

About AR15.COM

Stay Connected

Newsletter

Contact Us