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Posted: 1/2/2003 1:42:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 1:51:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2003 1:52:03 PM EDT by bunghole]
I'm going to put one in my guest bathroom that says, "You piss on my seat, I shit in your mouth!" [shock]
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 1:54:26 PM EDT
I've always been partial to:

"Do not eat the big white breath mint"

posted above the urinal.
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 1:57:36 PM EDT
I was taking a whiz at a place called the Rockledge one night and written on the wall was the phrase "I'd like to make love to a jellified corpse."

Right below it someone had written "Grape or Strawberry?"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 1:59:48 PM EDT
"Do not play in, on, or climb this container for any purpose"

-sticker on the urinal at work
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:02:02 PM EDT
Please don't throw toothpicks in the urinal, crabs can pole vault.
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:02:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2003 2:05:15 PM EDT by osprey21]
[b]Please Dont Throw [blue]Ice[/blue] In The Urinal.[/b] [;)]

[b]We Aim To Please..You Aim Too Please.

[b]Thank You[/b] [:D]
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:03:16 PM EDT
"If there is a shortage of hose, please step forward."
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:06:39 PM EDT
"No reading during peak hours."
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:10:23 PM EDT
"All you steers with short horns stand close; the next fellow might be barefoot."
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:10:41 PM EDT
Does anyone have pictures of these?
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:14:13 PM EDT
One I saw Long Ago in a not so clean restroom.

I have Sh@t in England
I have Sh@t in France
But before I Sh@t here again..... I'll Sh@t in my Pants!


Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:17:53 PM EDT

Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:34:21 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2003 2:41:35 PM EDT by 82ndAbn]
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:37:21 PM EDT
We have a sign in a warehouse facility:


I photocopied it and hung it up in my office.

Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:37:39 PM EDT
"Do not shoot up in our bathroom.  Find somewhere else to OD"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:37:45 PM EDT
My favorite was on one of those hot air hand dryers.  Our local Congressman was a guy named Jack Brooks.

Someone had scratched on the air machine: "Push botton for a message from Congressman Brooks."
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:41:01 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 2:57:29 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 3:04:41 PM EDT
"Toilet camera is for research use only"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 3:15:31 PM EDT
I use to use a restroom where someone had written "Flush twice, it's a long way to Cavellini's."  I never know what that meant until I stopped in the town of Cle Elum, about 15 miles away to eat lunch one time.  There was Cavellini's Restaurant.  That was by far the worst food I had (or every have) eaten.  
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 3:24:34 PM EDT
Here I sit broken hearted...tried to shit but only farted.
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 3:45:03 PM EDT
"The guys in 2nd Infantry Company are studly men and great lovers

..... (signed) Achmed, 12 years old"

Things like that were written in the bars the regiment used to frequent.  If you didn't already have to piss, you'd piss yourself reading it.


"It's no use standing on the seat, the crabs in here can jump ten feet"  [;D]
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 4:00:18 PM EDT

"Silly Faggot!, Dicks are for Chicks!"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 4:00:22 PM EDT
Scribbled on a condom machine...

"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 4:03:40 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 4:07:32 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 4:14:09 PM EDT
At Emory in Atlanta over a urinal..... "The power to control rape is in your hands"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 4:31:47 PM EDT
Ok, One more that I've seen.

Those that write on Sh@thouse walls roll their sh@t into tiny balls.

Those who read their word of wit eat those tiny ball of Sh@t.

Link Posted: 1/2/2003 5:09:16 PM EDT
In a subway along with all the other stickers with a easy to understand universal diagram.

"Employees must wash their genetals before returning to work"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 5:43:11 PM EDT
At a outhouse in Philmont while backpacking
"All turds weighing more than 3 pounds most be lowered by rope"

"In days of old when when knights were bold and condoms weren't invented, we slipped a sock upon our cock and that's how children were prevented"

Then there was a two seater side by side with one labeled Pilot the other Copilot and a two seater back to back Pilot and Bombadier.
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 6:32:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2003 6:34:57 PM EDT by PeteCO]
[b]From Spectre: "Here I sit, broken hearted, came to shit but only farted".
I've seen the second verse, which is "Then one day I took a chance, blew a fart and shit my pants."
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 6:48:25 PM EDT
"Stand Closer, It's not as long as you think it is."
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 6:58:21 PM EDT
At the U fo M we had these great urinal mats, you know, the things that usually hold the urinal pucks. They had this black square that upon being showered with urine would reveal the words "Go Gophers!" Those things kicked ass.
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 7:09:36 PM EDT
"Here I sit, cheeks a flexin', givin' birth to another Texan".[:D]



Link Posted: 1/2/2003 7:11:32 PM EDT
"Roses are red, violets are blue, if you're reading this you're pissin on your shoe"

"If brown is beautiful I just sh@it you a masterpiece"

Link Posted: 1/2/2003 7:13:44 PM EDT
"please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal --- It makes them hard to light"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 7:25:54 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/2/2003 7:28:28 PM EDT by The_Emu]
At the airport.

Those with short stacks or low manifold pressure please taxi closer to the defueling pit.

edited because GB took away the spell checker.
(the check for bronze is in the mail)
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 7:32:34 PM EDT
"Stand closer, it's shorter than you think"  

Link Posted: 1/2/2003 7:41:25 PM EDT
In a bar one time: Any little boy can pee on the floor but it takes a man to sh!t on the ceiling. [And on the ceiling there was a turd smashed into a ceiling tile]      And in a      porta-pot  above the urinal it says please wash hands before returning to work, with an arrow pointing down.
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 7:44:14 PM EDT
My mother has one in her bathroom that she has had forever, it says:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be so sweet and wipe the seat.
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 7:45:34 PM EDT
One I saw on one of those hot air dryers:

1)  Push button
2)  Rub hands briskly under hot air.

Then handwritten

3)  Wipe hands on pants.

Link Posted: 1/2/2003 8:31:16 PM EDT
"worse part of being a dick your best friends a pussy,your neigbors a asshole and somebody comes by every now and then and beats ya till you puke"
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 8:53:40 PM EDT
"I've fu*ked women from all over the world, but someday I hope to fu*k the Air Force the way the Air Force fu*ked me."

-Toilet at Prince Sultan Air Base, Saudi Arabia
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 8:59:08 PM EDT
Scrawled in large script, "I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!"

Beneath it in neat handwriting, "Go home Dad, you're drunk."
Link Posted: 1/2/2003 9:00:43 PM EDT
"If its Yellow its Mellow, if its Brown it goes down."

-At some nasty hippies house

They really did it too, to save water.
Link Posted: 1/3/2003 12:26:26 AM EDT
On the only door:

Link Posted: 1/3/2003 2:21:48 AM EDT
"Objects in mirror are smaller than they appear"
Link Posted: 1/3/2003 3:02:44 AM EDT
"You don't buy the beer here, you rent it."  --over a urinal.

"Please do not eat the big white mint"
---scribbled under it, somebody wrote "Yeah. It tastes like urine soaked mothballs!"

And under that, someone else had scribbled, "How would you know what moth balls taste like?"

To which the (apparently, by comparing handwriting) first responder replied, "You just have to know how to get them to spread their tiny little legs."

In a sleazy dive of a bar and grill:

"Please do not flush more than once a minute or the kitchen sink will overflow."  [puke]

Best joke yet seen over a toilet or urinal:

"Why did the (insert ethnic group) wedding come to such an abrupt end?...

...Somebody flushed the punch bowl."


Link Posted: 1/3/2003 3:08:11 AM EDT
Seen at a bar in Aberdeen, Md.:

"If your hose is too short, or your pump is too weak, stand a little closer or you'll piss on your feet."
Link Posted: 1/3/2003 3:11:15 AM EDT
Originally Posted By raven:
"Do not shoot up in our bathroom.  Find somewhere else to OD"
View Quote

I flew through the Minneaapolis-St. Paul airport today, and they were sharps (biohazard) drop boxes in the restrooms. This was BEHIND the security checkpoint.
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