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Posted: 9/20/2005 9:39:45 PM EDT
What are some of the funniest sex sounds you or your partner have ever made?

Let's call her girlfrind #2: "AYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:40:56 PM EDT
Cunt farts always crack me up.
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:42:16 PM EDT
I Don't like sounds when i'm "working" it kills the mood. F&^%ed a screamer and didnt like it. Love it when there is no noise except breathing
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:44:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.




You have a way with words.


- BG
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:44:48 PM EDT
A nice fart when she comes will always make me bust out laughing, shame I don't get any for a few weeks when that happens.
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:44:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.



yea.. minimal laughing always ensues thereafter.. its funny
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:45:58 PM EDT
fwap, fwap, fwap, fwap
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:46:03 PM EDT
Baaaaaaaaaaa...
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:46:17 PM EDT
I hate it when in the middle of it all, she yelled "SHOVE THE LAMP UP MY ASS!!!"
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:47:23 PM EDT
I happen to know that the funniest sound my friend makes when she's fucking her bf is "hey RYAN!!!!! look at me!!!". Followed by me looking over and asking "WTF are you doing it on my couch!!"
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:48:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/20/2005 9:49:24 PM EDT by TKoProductions]
"oy oy oy oy!"

ETA: Her, not me. And I'm no longer with her.
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 9:50:02 PM EDT
[voice of her kid]What are you guys doing.[/voice of her kid]
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 10:02:42 PM EDT
" AHhh....You like my big (@{* don't you? Oh YEEEah" says the man.

Guys crack me up. Pardon the pun. I know I should avoid these silly ass threads, I am a bad Lady.

Oh, and SOoo IBTL Or not.
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 10:03:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.



oh damn i just snarffed yoo hoo all over the place.
Link Posted: 9/20/2005 10:51:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By netwt12:

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.



oh damn i just snarffed yoo hoo all over the place.



Link Posted: 9/20/2005 11:02:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By syntax:
" AHhh....You like my big (@{* don't you? Oh YEEEah" says the man.

Guys crack me up. Pardon the pun. I know I should avoid these silly ass threads, I am a bad Lady.

Oh, and SOoo IBTL Or not.



That was you friday night.... damn I was REALLY drunk.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 2:51:07 AM EDT
I don't like it when I'm having sex and I hear my 'ol lady say: "Honey, I'm Home!"

Dave
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 2:59:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.




those are called quiefs or queefs. I don't know how to spell it, but I do know how to make it happen
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 3:19:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/21/2005 3:19:57 AM EDT by DLMan123]


I think its funny when my girl says push, push while she is climaxing... but she has her legs rapped around me and I can't move.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 4:26:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DLMan123:

I think its funny when my girl says push, push while she is climaxing... but she has her legs rapped around me and I can't move.



Ahhh yes, the venus clam trap.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 4:28:41 AM EDT
I hate it when she yells "damn it you woke me up again"
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 4:38:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:
I happen to know that the funniest sound my friend makes when she's fucking her bf is "hey RYAN!!!!! look at me!!!". Followed by me looking over and asking "WTF are you doing it on my couch!!"



IMHO, that sounds more like an invite to participate.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 4:55:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.



Laugh a little bit and them tell them only the "tight" girls can do that....great results
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:01:56 AM EDT
When I was stationed at FT Hood, I went on rotation to Darnell Hospital from my unit for four months. One of the medics on the ward I worked on had a room mate. Stacked redhead. Turned out she was psyco, like all readhead girls, but, she loved to knock boots.

I got her back to my apt, wich was, in a bouilding with four three other apartments around it. Everything was squeezed close, and, my AC had gone out, so I had the windows open. I nailed her and, she started making the high pitched whineing sounds like the chick in Porky's.......OMG, they were so loud I could hear them echoing outside!

I reached aroud her and smacked my hand over her mouth, so, all there was after that was "mmmpfh, mmpfh, mmphf!"

It was all I could do to keep from laughing, but, I finished the deal

Only hit it once, but, all my neighbors greeted me with some varietn of "Stud monster" for a few months after that

Kicked her to the curb after I felt my rabbit was going to be boiled.

Redheads are nutty.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:03:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
I hate it when in the middle of it all, she yelled "SHOVE THE LAMP UP MY ASS!!!"





Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:06:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Illinigunner21:

Let's call her girlfrind #2: "AYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"



... A Hispanic girl I see
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:12:28 AM EDT
I hate it when she says, "Is that video camera on"?

Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:17:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
I hate it when in the middle of it all, she yelled "SHOVE THE LAMP UP MY ASS!!!"



John Fox?
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:19:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By jmzd4:

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.



those are called quiefs or queefs. I don't know how to spell it, but I do know how to make it happen



Queef defined
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:19:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By syntax:
" AHhh....You like my big (@{* don't you? Oh YEEEah" says the man.

Guys crack me up. Pardon the pun. I know I should avoid these silly ass threads, I am a bad Lady.

Oh, and SOoo IBTL Or not.


One of my former female coworkers used to share the intimate details of her sex life with us ,and she used to say she had to make sure she told every guy she was with that it was the bbiigggeesssttt one she'd EVER had, or the guy would get all upset. Kinda funny in retrospect, and since that discussion with her all those years ago, I have always wondered just how forthright my female partners have been as far as how happy they've been afterwards............
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:20:23 AM EDT
Dated a real screamer for awhile, screamed at the top of her lungs.

My buddy who was living in my basement would get so pissed he would come up and pound on my door.

"Shut the fuck up"
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:29:05 AM EDT
"I'm your sister! I'm your sister! I'm your sister!"
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:44:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By kissfan:

Originally Posted By jmzd4:

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.



those are called quiefs or queefs. I don't know how to spell it, but I do know how to make it happen



Queef defined



Air expulsion from the vaginal area usually after sex. In the eighteenth century, it was common practice for small groups of well-to-do Southern women to each lift up their corsets and "queef" at their leisure on warm, summer afternoons. Typically performed on balconies or porches, these women would insert various large objects in their TOOTS and slowly pull them out to create the desired sound. These "porch parties" would provide hours of fun for the ladies while the men were away, and, from a practical standpoint, at times, enough air circulation as a respite from the brutal summer heat. Small wagers were often placed with the winner going to longest continuous queef, highest pitch, lowest pitch, smelliest, and wettest. There was also the queef sing-a-long; and a special prize was given to any women whose queef could attract wildlife.Annabelle tried to conceal her queef at the governors ball but to no avail.



Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:50:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By akethan:
Dated a real screamer for awhile, screamed at the top of her lungs.

My buddy who was living in my basement would get so pissed he would come up and pound on my door.

"Shut the fuck up"


He was just mad he wasn't getting any.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 5:57:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By JustinOK34:
"I'm your sister! I'm your sister! I'm your sister!"



LoL
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:08:59 AM EDT
"Sir! This is animal control! Open up!"
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:15:50 AM EDT
I'M WASHING MY HANDS
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:32:38 AM EDT
Wrong hole !!!! Wrong hole!!!!
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:42:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.


Ewww... those are gross!
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:43:28 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
I hate it when in the middle of it all, she yelled "SHOVE THE LAMP UP MY ASS!!!"



Worry when she asks you to flip the switch after!
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:45:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Wrong hole !!!! Wrong hole!!!!



That's where you say, "Ha! This is a 3 hole course, baby! FOUR"!
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:47:52 AM EDT
I always laugh at that suction sound that happens during the dismount sometimes.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:49:00 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/21/2005 6:50:45 AM EDT by five2one]

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.



we call those queefs.


edited to add: I see someone already provided a definition -- I love the south.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:51:06 AM EDT
A few years back a friend was seeing this incredibly attractive gal. After 6 or 8 weeks he started to hint around that she might be a touch crazy. I wasn't surprised since I believe that all women are crazy it's just to degrees.

"Dude, she likes it rough." he says.
"Heh, no kidding" I said.

"I don't mean just some ass slappin', hair pullin', neck bitin' rough either." he said.
"Umm, ok." was all I could come up with.

So we left it at that, and I didn't see him for a few days.
Friday night rolled around and I found myself somewhere between a cork and a bottle.
My friend and his girl show up and we have a few more drinks. Just before last call my friend approaches me....
"Ironoxbows, she was wondering if you'd come home with us"
Not quite putting 2 & 2 together I replied "Cool, I"ll cook breakfast for you guys"
"That's not really what she had in mind"
"Oh, okay, that's cool....." At this point my alcohol clouded mind kicked into gear and I finally got it.
"Umm, dude, we're pals and all, but I'm not real comfortable with f$%&ing your girl."

"Oh no" he said "she doesn't want you to f$%& her, she wants you to beat the shit outta her while I f$%& her"

Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:51:39 AM EDT
I was stationed in Florida and my brother came down and was doing one of my female roomates.
What she said was NOT too funny:
He was doing her doggy and noticed she was crying....ha asked why, and she said "you remind me of my daddy".
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 6:53:01 AM EDT
One girl I was with, who was awesome in bed, but would ruin it every time when she would say "GOLLY JEEZE" over and over again. WTF does that even mean?
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 8:30:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pv74:

Originally Posted By kissfan:

Originally Posted By jmzd4:

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.



those are called quiefs or queefs. I don't know how to spell it, but I do know how to make it happen



Queef defined



Air expulsion from the vaginal area usually after sex. In the eighteenth century, it was common practice for small groups of well-to-do Southern women to each lift up their corsets and "queef" at their leisure on warm, summer afternoons. Typically performed on balconies or porches, these women would insert various large objects in their TOOTS and slowly pull them out to create the desired sound. These "porch parties" would provide hours of fun for the ladies while the men were away, and, from a practical standpoint, at times, enough air circulation as a respite from the brutal summer heat. Small wagers were often placed with the winner going to longest continuous queef, highest pitch, lowest pitch, smelliest, and wettest. There was also the queef sing-a-long; and a special prize was given to any women whose queef could attract wildlife.Annabelle tried to conceal her queef at the governors ball but to no avail.







QUEEF PARTY
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 8:31:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By michaelj1978:
One girl I was with, who was awesome in bed, but would ruin it every time when she would say "GOLLY JEEZE" over and over again. WTF does that even mean?



probably Mormon
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 8:31:24 AM EDT


Queef definition......

2: A new brand of snack cracker.Hey, Bill!! I do believe that delicate flower of a wife ya got there expelled a gaseous queef o' airy goodness from her vulvic nether region! It may be a result of the continuous banging of my wanger-doodle in said wife's snapper hole.
Gosh, Don! All this scientific sex talk is making me hungry! Hand me that box of Nabisco Queefs or I will bludgen your head with this solid aluminum replica of a baby's arm holding an apple.



Nabisco brand Queefs......in the "Snack section" at your supermarket.

I'd agree with all the rest of ya on the Queef as being the funniest sound I've ever encountered.
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 8:42:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Confederate:
Cunt farts always crack me up.




Me: What the hell was that?
Her: She's talkin to you ,baby !
Me : Well, shut her the hell up already ,I cant concentrate !
Link Posted: 9/21/2005 8:44:05 AM EDT
Peruvian girl I dated for a while would scream "Oh 'jess', oh 'jess'' at the moment of shangri-la...she reverted back to saying "j" instead of "y", kind of like Charo. I found it pretty comical.
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