I'm not LEO, but I plan on becoming one after I retire from the Air Force in a couple of years. In the meantime, I'm taking some classes. One of them is AJS-260, Community Policing. We have to do a group presentation on the stresses of being LEO. My group chose a scenario about a rookie cop who's friends treat him differently about 6 months after becoming an LEO. Has this ever happened to any of you?

Did they ask if you can get rid of a ticket/citation?

Did they ask if they can smoke pot in front of you?

Do most of your friends now include LEOs?

It would be great to get some info to present to my group/class. All info, names, states, cities, departments...if named...will  be kept between me and this thread. I will not divulge any of this info to outsiders in my class. Thanks for any help.

yes



yes



and



yes

Spot on

HAHA. OK. Was there anything else they asked of you? Or tried to get you to do?

Just a little elaboration.

You will lose all of most of you're "friends". I had a few friends (one in the Military, and one a cop for another jurisdiction I knew before we became police officers). The only reason they're still my friends is because they're mature and have common sense.

1.) Yes, they also say a bunch of dumb stuff like just arresting people they don't like, shooting people, vehicle pursuits, etc.
It's funny at first, but after a while of them saying they'd bust everyones ass, and shoot people for..., etc it gets annoying.

2.) Yes, they ask a lot of what if I did..... questions. What if I stole something in front of you, etc. I had my buddys little brother try to shoplift while I was with them. No one else saw anything wrong with it. That was the last time I went out with them. Going to the bar with friends is impossible to do as well. I don't drink when I go out cause I usually carry, and being the only sober one is usually hard enough. With the added bonus of being a armed police officer makes it damn near impossible.

3.) Well kinda, I don't talk to most of them outside of work. A few I hangout with that were in my same academy. But I spend most of my time on my hobbies which consist of sleeping, shooting, and video games (I do play cod with cop buddies)

Just a fyi, I will have no problem with testifying in court against someone that commits a crime even if we (were/are) so called friends.

I work in a town with approximately 200,000 people, and it's a fairly active area. I have >1 year of experience.

1) Yes

2) They know better

3) Yes, but I make an effort to have non cop friends. Sometimes it's nice to not end up talking about "cop stuff" when away from work.

Anyone run into this yet? This question came up in class one night. I'm taking Criminal Procedure and Community Policing. This one came up in Procedure.

Not a problem for me. I don't work where I grew up and I really don't have any "friends" in the city I work in.

I am a career LEO, 26 yrs so far.
As another poster put down, I am not working where I grew up, so it does not matter.
I have very few close friends, and those I do are all mature adults.
We hunt together, fish together, and ride OHV's together.

My friends here know that I like to sit in corners with my back to the wall, as I am usually carrying, I don't drink in public if at all, and I stay out of large crowds.
They respect my job, and do not ask foolish questions.

If they are true friends, they will stick by you, and not ask ridiculous questions.
The ones that do ask the odd stuff, they do not count.

Oh, have I been asked the same stupid questions as other LEO's? Hell yeah.

Be prepared for neighbors who were friendly before, now they don't want to know you.  the exception is when they want you to handle a beef between them and some other person up the street.

Get the right friends and they won't. I've got a couple of friends who are popos and I treat them with the same level of general disrespect I always did. I'm told it's refreshing too, so I don't plan to change.

I had to charge an Army buddy I deployed with. It was a misdemeanor, and his cooperation in being interviewed allowed two endangered juveniles to be found. I made sure to speak up for him to the prosecutor.

This is pretty insightful for me, but I don't have any friends as it is and I plan on keeping it that way.

I'm asking what you LEO folks have experienced yourselves. It's gonna be a couple of years before I retire and make the transition to LEO myself.

This isn't directed from the class itself...I'm doing independent research myself so I can relay some findings during my group presentation.

Got ya beat on that one, I had to arrest my squad leader I had in Iraq...he turned himself in for a traffic warrant he never paid the fine on.

I've always wanted to work in my home town ever since I was like 2 or 3. I've always wanted to be a deputy sheriff and even today I really have no interest in anything else. How do you handle it if people you arrest knew you in high school and they like to bring up things you did? I'm lucky in that I never did anything stupid too terrible bad but I did drink on a handful of occasions. Enough to realize that it was stupid.

Man, these instances suck. Knowing you have to arrest/charge a combat buddy or squad leader.

Absolutely not. Off duty cops are the last group of people I want to hang out with. If I want to hear people complain constantly about work, I'll go to work. That, and numerous other reasons.

In the past I had people ask to get rid of tickets. Its not possible now with the E tickets, so they're wasting their time by asking

I don't associate with anyone who does illicit drugs; never have.

LEOs tend to become your primary social circle because they're the only ones who tend to work the same crazy shifts.

That being said, its changed a lot in my 23 years. We used to hang out several nights a week after work. Now everyone in the new generation tends to go home after work. Guys still hunt together, play softball together, etc, but its different than the old generation of guys.

first post every time.

I have very few friends that stuck around from before I became a cop.

J-

1.  Unless you work for a one-man PD, you can always get somebody else to handle a job involving someone you know, and you're better off avoiding any potential "conflict of interest" accusation anyway.
 If the friend complains because he was hoping you'd handle it (and take care of him), tell him that's the policy.

2.  The main reason you lose touch with your non-police friends (and non-immediate family, for that matter) is the scheduling.  It's difficult to stay connected to people when you never seem to be off at the same time.
 The only guys that will have the same schedule as you are the ones you work with.

That right there is one of the reasons cops tend to hang with other cops.  A real friend wouldn't bring up ancient history in an attempt to influence your decisions regarding current events.  One has no bearing on the other.  

"So we shared a six pack in high school, big fuckin' deal.  I suppose you think that should give you a free pass to act like an ass for all eternity then, huh?  Grow up."  

That would be my response to the situation you describe.  I got plenty of other friends that don't put me in the position of having to arrest them.

I work in the county I grew up in and currently live in.  We have a rather large un-incorparated city that I graduated high school from, which most of our patrol assets are assigned to.  I have worked there for a few shift rotations, but prefer to work out in the rural parts, where I am less likely to run into friends, high school aquintances, or people I may see when I am shopping, as I live in that un-incorparated city too.  I have however ran into people I went to high school with and have had to arrest some.  It has yet to be a real problem for me.  The few friends I chose to keep after high school, are still my friends, though I will admit that list is short.  Most of my friends are other cops.  That is the nature of this job.  People will treat ya differently, that is a fact!  Prior to LE I worked for a grocery store as a produce manager.....I had never been introduced as such....after becoming a cop, you are now either introduced as this is my cop friend, or this is my friend SMPrider112, he's a cop.  In social gatherings you will get to listen to everyone bitch about every bad experience they had with a cop, or every ticket they had ever received.  When someone does get a ticket, you are the first person they call to try and find out how to "Beat" it.....I always tell them the same answer, you probably committed the violation, why not just pay yer fine?  Or plead guilty and hope the judge lowers the fine.

I was dispatched to a crash several years ago where the drunk idiot that ran a red light and hit a family going home (no injuries) was a high school buddy of mine. I arrested him for DWI and about 4 other charges. He has not talked to him since and I have not lost any sleep over it. I've got my 20 year high school reunion coming up so I guess I'll see if he is still mad.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes for a while, but as I've in the business longer I've tried to change that, and now I only really associate with a few officers when I'm off.  Hanging out with police (at least in this town,) is a recipe for trouble, or at least for developing even greater cynicism than would otherwise be the case.

Yeah, but at the same time, some neighbors who wouldn't give you the time of day suddenly want to be your best friend.  (Or at least that was my experience back when I started.)

From my perspective, I have  quite a few LEO & FLEO friends.   Their job doesn't make them any different than they were beforehand.  

I act the same as much as they do.  

Not yet in law enforcement, but may have something to contribute.

While I'm getting my degree, all of my friends equate a Criminal Justice major as being a cop. (I correct this false conclusion!) All the same, they know that is what I will eventually be. I've come to realize I have few real friends but a number of acquaintances. Of my best friends, they view my intended future career with considerable respect. Most of them are going to be civil/aerospace engineers, nurses, doctors, and teachers. They appreciate civil service and have a considerable respect for law enforcement. The don't ask stupid question or engage in stupid activities. If they did, they probably wouldn't be my friends.

I do get some stupid questions from the friends of my friends. We sometimes are at the same house and they eventually want to talk about cops. (no matter how many times I tell them I'm not one yet... they just keep going.) The most popular topics are: marijuana, speeding tickets, use of force, and "knowing the law". I say it is illegal to possess or sell marijuana in Texas. They rant about it. I nod my head, bemused, and conclude that it is still illegal. They talk about a speeding ticket they got, the cop was a jerk, he couldn't have clocked them speeding, their radar detector didn't go off, and the cop searched their car for no reason... I respond, "Well.. did they find anything?" "NO!" "Did you get to your destination quickly?" "NO!" "I bet you didn't speed after that either..." "Not the point!".

You can imagine the anti-LEO sentiment. I just sit and let them rant. It doesn't last too long and it only frustrates them. When they finally give up I remind them I'm not a cop, but suggest they go ahead and obey the laws.

With each passing year, I find myself with fewer 'friends' and spend less time with the friends-of-friends. No cop friends, but I'm not a cop yet...

Been an LEO more then 12 years since I retired from the USCG.  Been in the same neighborhood the whole time.  That may have happened in your situation, but not in mine.

Not been a problem, just an observation.  I don't tend to hang around after hours with my co-workers.  

Several retired military in my immediate area.  That's where most of my social activity takes place.

I've been a cop for 20 years. In the beginning the friends who knew what I wanted to do didn't change much. After time went on we went our different ways. I see that it would have happened anyway. I've done many things with in Law Enforcement that has seen friendships change too. We all change. Some change more then others.

So military people are a differnet breed then LEO? Coming up on 20 myself. I tend to lean towards military people. Put me in a room with 30 people and if I know one is/was military, I'll gravitate towards them more often then not.

I lost contact with many of my high school buddies after I went in the military. Seems it would have happened any. Not many of them had any goals or ambitions in life.

Some folks have no goals. Some have no clue. Life moves on.

+1

Within 1 week of being sworn in too..

Nurses...

Yeah, don't bug be any. Been almost 20 years. I'm over it.

My friends now are other LEO or .mil,  a couple hose-draggers and a couple who owns the gunshop down the way.  Thats it.  Don't care to make any more friends.

That by choice or because of the job?

Mostly by choice, i'm sort of anti-social beyond just normal coppishness (made that one up).  But really, I dont have time to spend with my family between the military and work, i'm not out looking to socialize or get involved with anything.  Finally, i pretty much write people off who upon finding out i'm the cops ask me not to arrest them, or to arrest someone else.

I do the same in regards to military.

I'm not in LE but most of my coworkers were and I deal with LE quite frequently (in a good way - not getting free rides in the back or testing tazers), many of my friends are LE also.  I treat them the same and they treat me the same, no difference, just different jobs.  If anything, my LE friend are bigger hell raisers than anyone I know.

Yes please

Let's not forget EMS.



 

Yes.  I had a female neighbor who would occasionally ask for advice.  One day she did the exact opposite of what I suggested, and ended up arrested.  Since I'd spoken to her by phone during the incident, she thought she could wrangle me into court and twist what I said.  She did not win.

Few EMS girls I know are bordering on the line between whale or hippo.

Nurses though...

Yes to all.



Fortunately my spouse and I had a talk about this a few years ago.  She doesn't "out" me in front of new aquainances anymore...

"OUT" you? "This is my hubby...he's a cop"?

How does it get handled now?

Yeah, I mean, she didn't mean to do it, but she was proud that I was.  Now.. OPSEC....  She is a good woman, married 19 years, so I cannot complain. (No pics guys, sorry)

tag

Maybe yes, maybe no.

After the Corps of Cadets, I had another half year to do. I decided to have a civilian roomie in an apartment instead of someone I knew in the Corps. Why? Because I didn't want each day to be "Hey, remember when we were in the Corps and ............,".

I don't have that kind of comraderie, play together, spirit. For me, "I'm there to do a job". I recognize the value of things, I thrill at memories of being part of a team and carrying logs, but to me, such were tools that have enabled me to tackle problems successfully later on in life. To me, it's tools and mission, not a game. Further, my attitudes have not always been in agreement with the pack for they have not been totally gunho. For example, I think Oliver North was a jerk (putting it nicely) for lying to his government leaders. And then there are my views on just seeing the ship as a piece of steel and nothing immortal. Hence, I wonder if I might be detected in a room as being ex military. When people find out I'm ex-Navy, they are usually surprised but that may be because I possess a very youthful look. Plus, over the years, I've intentionally influxed my dance moves to obscure my military signatures.

The other veterans I know in this region are perhaps a handful. Moreso, most have been Viet Nam veterans while I was Late Cold War (mid 80's). I participated in the assembly of the memorial here from point 0, but otherwise, there has not been much. Of the friend who was in during my era, she was Army, I was Navy, and we both tend to hold to both wanting to talk of the present and not the past...........and being mute on things we shouldn't be talking about, anyhow. A further difference between us, the other veterans is that I was an officer and they were enlisted.

But on the other side, there is one of those veterans who I value much as a friend, have worked for him for years, that if society goes down the tubes, will not trust me because of my cop background. At that point, I am persona non grata in his territory.
__________________________________________________________________________
("How many are in your group?"––Cylon Interrogator
"I travel alone. I've always been..................anti social."––captured Thane, (w,stte), BSG (classic), "The Gun on Ice Planet Zero")