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Posted: 8/21/2004 4:54:58 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/21/2004 5:10:49 PM EDT
Not a female here. But just a thought. Why not ask for her phone number and arrange a time to call? Women like to talk so this would be a good way to get to know her better.
Link Posted: 8/21/2004 5:17:25 PM EDT
+1, good advice. I've met several ladies online, after a few emails, if you aren't chatting yet, just get the phone number. And get several pics, trust me on that one.
Link Posted: 8/21/2004 5:18:56 PM EDT
Goto www.doubleyourdating.com and order the guys eBook. It will answer all your questions. Seriously.
Pg 78 is Meeting Women ONline.
Pg. 79 is Getting Them Interested In You.
Pg 80 is Getting Phone Numbers and Email.
Pg. 82 is How To Get The First Meeting.
Pg. 82 is also Two Ways Women Think About Men and How You Control This.

Send me an IM for more information.
Link Posted: 8/21/2004 5:25:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
How often should I send her messages, and how many times do you think I should chat
with her via email before going to online chats with her? And what do you think I should
look for her to do or say when she's ready to signal that she wants to meet me in person?

This cyber-courting thing is new to me. Any advice you can give me that will help me to
meet this great young lady and leave a favorable impression on her would be greatly appreciated.

Can I ask why you are worried about how this lady will respond to you? Do you not have your own personality? Do you think she is thinking "how many times should I email this guy"? No. She's going about her day and communicating with you as her schedule sees fit.

From your short paragraph I can tell that you have already "fallen" for this girl that you have never even met in person. When you put too much focus on getting this one particular girl you start to get nervous, you question yourself, you become a wuss and try to make everything "perfect" for her so that she will some how magically and instantly have feelings for you just as intense as you have feelings for her. Sorry but it doesn't work that way. You will come across as nervous and then frustrated when things don't work and it will make you look weak. What you need to do is carry on with your normal life, be yourself, and fit this girl in as you find time. Being obsessive about "doing everything right" will not help you reach the goal you want.
Link Posted: 8/21/2004 5:34:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/21/2004 5:35:15 PM EDT by Donna]
I've been through this - in fact my current boyfriend was/is an internet connection, although we hooked up via our high school alumni website. At first I thought he was a really nice guy but since he lived a few thousand miles away, eventually the contact via email would fizzle out. What ended up happening was we would actually EMAIL each other around the same time of day, so it was like we were IMing only we were emailing back and forth. It was totally a "friend" thing at first, but eventually things warmed up... we went to IM - although he wasn't too keen on it at first. Some people are not used to having to put things in writing that fast! The IM thing went great and I started to realize there was something there... I also used to send him text messages from my cell phone. The first time we talked on the phone it was pretty weird! It was clear that we were interested in each other, and because we went to the same High School it wasn't like we were COMPLETE strangers (although we weren't friends then!). It was still like [in fact I think he really said this] "now what?" when we talked on the phone the first time. I think I said "well, let's just get used to each others' voices!" Now we talk DAILY. [Thank God for flat rate long distance packages!!]

Hopefully you and she live closer together than opposite coasts!!??

I'm not sure what help this will be, but it sounds like it's starting out sort of the same. I tend to agree with the earlier posts - talk on the phone sooner rather than later. I think the longer you wait, the more awkward it could be...

Oh - also - you could just let her know that you like her long emails and that you are on line more often - let her know about the different "styles" in case she wonders why you are emailing her "so much"?


Link Posted: 8/21/2004 5:41:04 PM EDT
show 'er yer weddin' tackle?
Link Posted: 8/21/2004 5:43:41 PM EDT
What ever happened to being comfortable enough about yourself to just BE yourself and attract someone who is actually interested in you for who you really are?

How's about just saying "hey, you want to chat? I'm xyz on pdq"

Or "hey, here's my # call me some time, I'm usually home between #:## and #:##. You seem like a pretty cool chick and I'd really like to talk". (ok, some chicks don't like being called chicks, but you know what I mean...)

Come on CJ, I know you of all people can handle this. If not, what ya gonna do when it comes time to ask to her on a real date??
Link Posted: 8/21/2004 5:47:09 PM EDT
<---thought HE had it bad.......
Link Posted: 8/21/2004 6:06:27 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/22/2004 6:12:47 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/22/2004 6:14:52 PM EDT by corwin1968]
Also not a female (I just HAD to visit this forum to see LauraCroft's infamous locked survey) but I've done the cyber-dating thing.

I would say the biggest danger, and I think it's HUGE, is that if you have any imagination at all it's very easy to form a picture in your mind (not talking physical but overall as a person) that is very little like the person in real life. I find it extremely difficult to truly get to know someone unless it's face-to-face. If you are both interested and are comfortable with it I'd go for a meeting fairly quickly.

....back to GD where I belong!
Link Posted: 8/23/2004 4:11:17 AM EDT
CJ you find yourself in a very touchy place here. Cyber dating is sometimes one of the hardest things to do. Hubby and I cyberdated, but it wasn't an easy thing. For us, I would e-mail, get nothing back. All our time was spent in a chat room. For some reason he just wouldn't e-mail, some people are like that though, maybe she is a once a day e-mailer.
I had his phone # for a good 2-3 weeks before I would even use it. I never gave him mine until he got it when it popped up on caller id for him. The chat room seemed a good place to start for me. No personal info was shared, I was allowed to go at my speed. I would just ask her in an email if you could possibly meet in a room to talk there. If she says no, or not yet, give her the space she needs. The one thing in cyberdating, even if set up by someone, you truely never know who you are talking to and for a woman this can be a very scary situation.
I wish you luck, from my own personal experience, I know it can be a wonderful thing. I hope you find that same experience.
Link Posted: 8/23/2004 4:17:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/23/2004 4:21:07 AM EDT by chapperjoe]
GHB, duct tape, videocamera, post here.

In all seriousness, I'm only 24 and I've screwed up twice. two "best friends" of mine have married other guys. For one of them, the number of emails is too much, and another one my emails were not enough. Go figure. I think I have to start CALLING people again.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 6:17:55 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/30/2004 11:18:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
And I'm taking pains to ensure that I'm doing the RIGHT thing all the time, and not giving in to the occasional foolish impulse. Maturity helps with that.

So what you are saying is that you are already pussy whipped, stopped being yourself, and given all the control of your life over to this girl...to make sure you don't mess it up.


Again I'll ask, why does it seem you have fallen for this girl shortly after meeting her?

I learned the hard way that when you fall for someone too soon, get too clingy, and spend time "doing the right thing" that you are really selling yourself short and it will create more problems further down the road.

My advice is to back off just a little and slowly get into things. If you fear making a mistake on anything then how happy, relaxed, and fun can you really be?
Link Posted: 8/30/2004 12:33:20 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/30/2004 5:09:51 PM EDT

Do you believe in destiny?


Hope it works out for you!
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