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Posted: 1/25/2002 7:38:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2002 12:01:44 PM EDT by ARlady]
i just wanted to share this with somebody. my grandpa has been in the hospital for a week and the prognosis doesn't look good. long story short, kidney failure and heart failure. surgery was successful, but that's relative because there are so many more hurdles ahead in the journey. he's strong, but i also think he wants to go. so he's not fighting as hard as he could. i just want peace for him, and i know that would come with death. is it bad to kind of wish for that? anyhow, for those so inclined, words of encouragement or prayer would be nice. it's just me and my mom (his daughter) here in indy. so we have to be each other's strength. i'm not sure i can do it alone. it helps knowing i have a family out there of some sorts to count on for sympathy and kind words. i probably wont' be able to check the boards much (heck, i'm surprised this site wasn't blocked from the hospital's interent acccess). but i will be able to occassionally. thanks, jenn
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:41:55 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:45:01 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:45:16 AM EDT
I wish the best for you and your family, Jenn. He's lucky to have both of you there, and you to have each other. Take good care...
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:46:54 AM EDT
for yourself, be strong. for him, wish for peace, however it comes.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:47:22 AM EDT
My condolences. We just lost my wife's dad under almost identical circumstances, so I'm going to say, no, it's not "bad to kind of wish for that". We told him, "It's okay to let go, we don't want you to stay and hurt just for our sakes" .... and I'm glad we did. We're with you. Celt & Mrs Celt
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:51:21 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:52:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ARlady: he's strong, but i also think he wants to go. so he's not fighting as hard as he could. i just want peace for him, and i know that would come with death. is it bad to kind of wish for that? jenn
View Quote
So long as that wish is "pure" and I certainly believe it is, how can desiring peace for one whom you love be bad ? Grandfather will find his "Way." Simply continue to be there with love and caring.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:55:05 AM EDT
ARLady, My thoughts and my prayers go out to you, your Mom and your Grandfather. In my opinion one of the greatest gifts of compassion that we as humans can extend is to understand that person who is suffering must ultimately decide what is the best course for them. I watched my Father slowly die for 6 years after my Mother's death and no amount of love, support or acts on intervention could convince him of the need to go forward. He had lost his life companion and was no longer interested in life as we know it without her. Be strong.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:57:19 AM EDT
Draw your strength from your extended family. My prayers are with you and your grandfather. God bless both of you and keep you.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:00:31 AM EDT
ARlady, We will also be praying for all of you! Take care and God Bless.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:01:45 AM EDT
ARlady, our thoughts are with you. Waiting for a loved one to die...puts things in perspective. It is not wrong to wish peace for your grandpa.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:03:58 AM EDT
I am so sorry to hear of your Grandfather's illness, ARlady, all our best thoughts are with you, him, and your Mom at this awful time. If it is any help, I had to make the call to cease further medical treatment on my Dad, right before he died a few years back. No matter what treatment they tried, it was making it worse, and prolonging his passing. Since I had some medical background, my Mom and brother looked to me to make that decision. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I believe it brought him to peace faster, and with less pain. Stay with him now, talk to him, soothe him as best you can, and know that he will be at peace soon. Stay strong for your Mom, and remember the good times you all shared.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:12:45 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:15:18 AM EDT
My condolences and best wishes are with you and your family Jenn. Eric
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:15:54 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:36:24 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/27/2002 12:00:58 PM EDT
just an update: he made it through the surgery friday with only minor complications (blood pressure related). was a little groggy and disoriented yesterday (saturday), but the ICU nurse that it was not uncommon for ICU patients just a day or two after surgery to suffer from what she called "ICU psychosis". she said it would clear up in a day or two. called the ICU unit this morning before we came in this afternoon, nurse said he was doing fine, had snapped out of his "psychosis", and she made the comment "he's really a sharp guy". so things seemed to be looking up. when we arrived, he wasn't responding to anything. no pinching, no talking, no lights in the eyes. totally unresponsive. they decided to do a CAT scan (i think that's what they did). still waiting for the results. as they were preparing for the scan, mom went to his bedside and said, "I love you, Daddy." he replied, "I love you, too." it was the only time since we've been here today that he has been "aware". even then, i'm not sure. they're afraid he might have had a blood clot to the brain as he's been off an medication that thins his blood since the surgery. will know more later. thank you all for your kind words and thoughts, and especially your prayers. my mom was overcome. and i am comforted to know that you all are there. thank you again.
Link Posted: 1/27/2002 12:04:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2002 12:05:19 PM EDT by ColonelKlink]
Link Posted: 1/27/2002 12:28:48 PM EDT
You and your mom hang in the Jenn. Grandpa and his girls are still in our thoughts and prayers.
Link Posted: 1/27/2002 12:29:48 PM EDT
ARlady, my best wishes and prayers go out to you, your mom, and your grandfather in this trying time. I've been through this sort of thing myself and my heart goes out to you. This is going to be an emotional and exhausting time for everyone involved. Just remember to take comfort in your family and be there for them as best you can. They need you as much as you need them. Just don't forget your friends here and know that our collective best wishes go out to you and yours, Jenn. Good luck and God bless.
Link Posted: 1/27/2002 12:39:30 PM EDT
ARlady, I lost my grandpa last Sunday after he battled liver cancer for several months. He died at home and was surrounded by the family. He simply gave up and didn't want to fight anymore. He was alert to the end though and it seemed he almost willed himself out. We buried him on Wednesday. The hardest part for me is my mom. Gramma died 8 years ago so she is now the matriarch of her family. I think that fact scares her a lot since she is the oldest of five brothers and sisters and she always took care of them when they were younger. I love my moms a bunch and it kills me to see her so hurt. But she has accepted things and surprisingly has a real positive outlook. I lit a candle today for your grandpa.
Link Posted: 1/27/2002 12:54:44 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/27/2002 5:03:08 PM EDT
ARLady, Hope it all turns out for the best for all who are involved. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. Stay strong.
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