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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:30:20 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:45:11 AM EDT
#6. Never fight anyone uglier than you......they have nothing to loose
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:46:26 AM EDT
From experience, watch out for boxcutter wielding drunk girlfriends.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:47:26 AM EDT
I wish that Bas Rutten video was still up.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:48:16 AM EDT
Originally Posted By INI:
I wish that Bas Rutten video was still up.


I've got the DVD for comedic purposes. "you called my wife fat? Bam break your leg"

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:50:30 AM EDT
Rule 0) Don't hang out in bars where fights start
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:51:19 AM EDT
Originally Posted By INI:
I wish that Bas Rutten video was still up.


This one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:52:04 AM EDT
Shoulda just minded his own business, that's what the bouncers get paid for.

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:56:49 AM EDT
#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 9:58:21 AM EDT
Rule 0

If you're in a bar fight always remember "You're not a queer if you bite someone's dick off in a fight"
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:00:26 AM EDT
Originally Posted By crush_opposition:
#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.


Not anymore, where can you smoke in bars?  A headbutt is the most effective fight starter/ender, i've only had to follow through once and thats when I caught teeth with my head and fucked me up worse than him.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:00:32 AM EDT
Originally Posted By FatCat1:
Rule 0

If you're in a bar fight always remember "You're not a queer if you bite someone's dick off in a fight"






Oh, and always remember to...


Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:00:40 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2009 10:01:23 AM EDT by glockfan45]




Originally Posted By crush_opposition:

#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.




#8 A billards ball is better.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:01:00 AM EDT
Good stuff.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:02:10 AM EDT
iv seen many a tough guy get there ass kicked cause they thought they could knock the fellow out with one good punch only to end up fighting a fucking grizzly bear.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:02:24 AM EDT



Originally Posted By crush_opposition:


#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.


half full beer bottles, and broken pool cues are a lot handier, in case you forget the knife on your belt.



 
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:03:09 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 230grains:
Originally Posted By crush_opposition:
#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.


Not anymore, where can you smoke in bars?  A headbutt is the most effective fight starter/ender, i've only had to follow through once and thats when I caught teeth with my head and fucked me up worse than him.


Here in Vegas.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:04:13 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Torf:

Originally Posted By crush_opposition:
#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.

half full beer bottles, and broken pool cues are a lot handier, in case you forget the knife on your belt.
 


Pool ball is great as well. Throw it in a bandana or sock and you're GTG.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:05:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2009 10:05:35 AM EDT by Lord_Grey_Boots]
Originally Posted By glockfan45:

Originally Posted By crush_opposition:
#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.


#8 A billards ball is better.


Pool Cue. (ETA, as mentioned above)

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:05:52 AM EDT
Originally Posted By AKSig:
Originally Posted By INI:
I wish that Bas Rutten video was still up.


This one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y


Bas rules.

I want that muthufucku on my side in a bar fight, thats for sure.

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:06:32 AM EDT
1.  Strike First.

2.  Strike Hard.

3.  No Mercy.

4.  Sweep The Leg.

5.  Get Him A Body Bag.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:07:03 AM EDT
Originally Posted By AKSig:
Originally Posted By INI:
I wish that Bas Rutten video was still up.


This one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y


Holy shit.  I haven't seen that.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:07:28 AM EDT
Jesus Christ.

At least your friend got you involved in a bar fight this time instead of in an argument over pay with hookers in front of a strip club while the police are investigating and your friends are hassling the cops.

Seriously dude, how much of this stuff do you really want to post in a public forum?
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:07:36 AM EDT
there is only one rule in bar fights: do anything it takes to win
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:10:55 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Torf:

Originally Posted By crush_opposition:
#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.

half full beer bottles, and broken pool cues are a lot handier, in case you forget the knife on your belt.
 



And they make that cool "woop, woop, woop" noise as they sail past your ear.

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:11:45 AM EDT
Originally Posted By snakeshooter1:
there is only one rule in bar fights: do anything it takes to win


umm, or dont get into bar fights. I have been to hundreds of bars and clubs and have never been in a fight. Have I been a fight? absolutely, ive been in a few. Was it fueled by alcohol or some kind of bar drama? hell no
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:12:31 AM EDT
Originally Posted By jbombelli:
1.  Strike First.
2.  Strike Hard.
3.  No Mercy.
4.  Sweep The Leg.
5.  Get Him A Body Bag.


Always keep on e on your person just in case.

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:17:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2009 10:17:43 AM EDT by Tpalladium]
Rules for avoiding reconstructive surgery:

1. Don't drink in any place where they frisk people before entry.
2. Mind your own god damned business.
3. Running away isn't just good exercise, it leads to a long and unscarred life.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:19:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2009 10:20:15 AM EDT by AKSig]
Originally Posted By PUBBOY:
Originally Posted By AKSig:
Originally Posted By INI:
I wish that Bas Rutten video was still up.


This one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y


Bas rules.

I want that muthufucku on my side in a bar fight, thats for sure.



Fuck yeah.

Plus I think he would be a hilarious mofo to party with as well.

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to break your leg now."
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:20:22 AM EDT

Never try that with El Guapo.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:20:59 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Tpalladium:
Rules for avoiding reconstructive surgery:

1. Don't drink in any place where they frisk people before entry.
2. Mind your own god damned business.
3. Running away isn't just good exercise, it leads to a long and unscarred life.


THIS, also it will keep you off a first name basis with IAD...
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:24:09 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2009 10:25:00 AM EDT by DRhodes]
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:25:19 AM EDT



Originally Posted By INI:


I wish that Bas Rutten video was still up.




Next best thing



 
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:25:42 AM EDT
My one rule for avoiding bar fights, no one wants to fight the naked guy.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:26:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2009 10:27:07 AM EDT by wingnutx]



Originally Posted By crush_opposition:


#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.



One of those little steel hockey pucks in a sock is pretty good.





Hell, anything in a sock. Cue ball, newborn kitten, whatever.





 
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:30:44 AM EDT
Bas Rutten

"Everyone underestimates a kick to the groin."
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:39:27 AM EDT
Originally Posted By crush_opposition:
#7 A glass ashtray is the best weapon in the bar.


Pool stick FTMFW!

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:39:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By AKSig:
Originally Posted By INI:
I wish that Bas Rutten video was still up.


This one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y


"Never ever let him take that choke because if you're out, god knows what they're gonna do with you."

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:40:25 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Magurgle:
My one rule for avoiding bar fights, no one wants to fight the naked guy.


This man speaks the truth.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:40:51 AM EDT
Originally Posted By TrojanMan:
Rule 0) Don't hang out in bars where fights start


That's the rule I start with.  Never fails to keep me out of bar fights.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:42:59 AM EDT
The first rule of bar fights is don't get into bar fights.

The second rule of bar fights is don't get into bar fights.



If you can't avoid a bar fight, don't quit until everybody in the bar knows that it's over.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:48:44 AM EDT
Good universal advise.  

I miss SteyrAug.    He would have added a little zen to the discussion.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:49:33 AM EDT
My dad, a former Marine DI, gave me one pearl of wisdom when it comes to fighting.

The only fair fight is the one you win.  Rules just leave you on the floor bleeding.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:58:09 AM EDT
I won my last 10 fights by 15 yards!!!

Link Posted: 5/1/2009 10:59:05 AM EDT
#9 - if you win, take his wallet.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 11:03:33 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Magurgle:
My one rule for avoiding bar fights, no one wants to fight the naked guy.


Link Posted: 5/1/2009 11:05:42 AM EDT
My thing was sucker punch 'em, then hide behind my boyfriend.  


Jane
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 11:06:47 AM EDT
Originally Posted By dafabricata:
#6. Never fight anyone uglier than you......they have nothing to loose


Especially if they have a face like a goose!

Or their eyes are bulging out like they were hung with a noose.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 11:09:21 AM EDT



Originally Posted By FatCat1:


Rule 0



If you're in a bar fight always remember "You're not a queer if you bite someone's dick off in a fight"


I beg to differ, that's queer.



 
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 11:10:15 AM EDT
Never look away from your opponent.


I prefer to shit my pants and rub the shit on my face and scream at the guy.
Link Posted: 5/1/2009 11:18:45 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2009 11:19:33 AM EDT by 4v50]
Rule #1 - Stay out of bars.  That's where drunks get into fights.  

Read the book, Some Even Volunteered.  It's written by a Wolfhound officer who became a professor after the war.  He describes a barfight he witnessed from the floor of a bar.  As it was breaking out, he leaned his chair against the wall and letting it slide down, feigned drunkeness.  With several quick blinks of the eye he saw: barfight start; MPs rush in, MPs getting beaten, MP lieutenant trying to assert control, MP lieutenant on the ground, MP lieutenant getting his teeth stomped out.  During a lull, our hero gets up and runs free of the bar, unscathed.
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