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1/22/2020 12:12:56 PM
Posted: 10/11/2007 1:05:26 PM EST
Sorry if this is a dupe, a good friend sent it to me today, & it's the 1st time I've seen it.


Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the
summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in
the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention
of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to
get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization
and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals; and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the
beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for
them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of
what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and
doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of
the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest
became known as girliemen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of
cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept
of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard
liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women
have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter
rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still
provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the
liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of
trying to get more for nothing.


Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:23:55 PM EST
I like it
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:27:53 PM EST

Originally Posted By Searcherfortruth:
Sorry if this is a dupe, a good friend sent it to me today, & it's the 1st time I've seen it.


Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the
summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in
the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention
of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to
get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization
and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals; and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the
beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for
them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of
what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and
doing the sewing, felching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of
the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest
became known as girliemen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of
cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept
of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard
liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women
have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter
rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still
provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the
liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of
trying to get more for nothing.









Link Posted: 10/11/2007 3:41:58 PM EST
So what is felching?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 3:42:41 PM EST

Originally Posted By Searcherfortruth:
So what is felching?


Do you really want to search for the truth?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 3:47:07 PM EST

Originally Posted By Searcherfortruth:
So what is felching?


Here ya go!

Felching
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 4:35:03 PM EST
Who is this Finley? What has he told you?

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