I was just killing some time and surfing the net and actually found an [url=http://www.msha.gov/FATALS/1998/FTL98C25.HTM]incident report [/url] on the next to last call I ever ran! (The last was about an hour later and was a code blue in a SNF) Talk about a weird feeling. I was on that scene from about 5:45 (first truck) to about 1:30 when I left for the hospital. I found a cold side to myself that day that I never want to see again (I thought and said things while we waited that day that no caregiver should ever say or feel), after that I decided I was too young to be as jaded as I was and have no more remorse than I did, so I quit. I still occasional visit the guys I used to work with while at they are at work (they were my second family) and I am getting ready to instruct an EMT-B class. Will I ever run again? I doubt it. Do I miss it? Everyday!

Jake

[red]Those who can, run. Those who can't, teach.[/red]

A psychologist friend of mine once told me that fear and anger are two sides of the same coin. When the time came that I didn't know one from the other I knew my EMS time was up. "Cold, callous and uncaring demeanor" read the paperwork on one of my least favorite calls. That about summed me up.

Teaching is good, if you can live on the pay. Most can't. Think about ER/OR Tech or going back to school for X-Ray Tech or that big payday, Cardiac Pump Tech. Run a heart/lung machine.

Anyway, good luck.

Tough call GSG9, sorry to hear about it. It's a tough call to realize that you've "seen enough", I respect your decision and having the nerve to make it. There's a lot of guys/gals out there who should make the same decision and just keep on going. The pt. care they give shows it to.

Give it time, if you ever feel like riding again, take it slow and easy.

Be safe.

Ed