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Posted: 2/5/2005 7:03:06 PM EST
Thought you guys might like this. I found it pretty truthful and accurate. Hope this is not a dupe.

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:04:40 PM EST
[Last Edit: 2/5/2005 7:14:33 PM EST by ARDOC]
You forgot to pee. Oops you did pee.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:06:10 PM EST
[Last Edit: 2/5/2005 7:06:32 PM EST by giacutter]

Originally Posted By bubba99:
How To Shower Like a Woman:

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.



Yep
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:07:16 PM EST
No, what do you think I do after making my shampoo mohawk, re-read.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:07:51 PM EST

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
You forgot to pee.




Nope he got that, or you could pee in the sink while admiring your weiner size in the mirror.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:08:22 PM EST
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:11:08 PM EST

Originally Posted By MrClean4Hire:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
You forgot to pee.




Nope he got that, or you could pee in the sink while admiring your weiner size in the mirror.



Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:17:23 PM EST


That's great
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:19:14 PM EST
You're missing one major part of the whole shower experience. Soap is such a slut.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:19:47 PM EST
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:21:57 PM EST
Hilarious.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:31:36 PM EST

Originally Posted By MrClean4Hire:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
You forgot to pee.




Nope he got that, or you could pee in the sink while admiring your weiner size in the mirror.



My room mate last year did that on a regular basis. I made a mental note to always rinse the sink before brushing my teeth.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:32:01 PM EST
That was great.

Laughed out loud.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 7:49:52 PM EST
If I saw this like 4 years ago, can I yell "DUPE!"?
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 8:08:53 PM EST
[Last Edit: 2/5/2005 8:09:55 PM EST by CAR-10]
You forgot: "shave balls and associated area to enhance size of wiener."
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 8:26:49 PM EST
Thanks. Very funny. Printing off a copy for Mrs. FLAL1A.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 10:28:22 PM EST

Originally Posted By bubba99:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.



Hmmmm......I do that.

Except I have separate baskets:

Dark clothes.
Light clothes.
Bleach, white socks.
Military clothes.
Work clothes.
Towels.
Wash cloths.
Sheets.
Blankets.
New clothes, separate first wash in case they bleed.

I have OCD.

My wife throws clothes all over the house. I fell on my face this morning. Walking down the hall my feet got tangled up in a bra.
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 10:33:50 PM EST

Originally Posted By CAR-10:
You forgot: "shave balls and associated area to enhance size of wiener."



....

That was kinda disturbing....
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 10:41:07 PM EST
You should retitle the thread, "Disgusting Male Shower Habits"
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 10:51:10 PM EST
Oh man, i think i broke a rib. Best thread of the night.

- BG
Link Posted: 2/5/2005 11:59:23 PM EST
Indeed, Indeed.
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 2:36:59 AM EST
You forgot the part where the woman puts the shower head between her legs and sets it on massage or pulse.
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 2:41:59 AM EST
[Last Edit: 2/6/2005 2:42:11 AM EST by HeldHostage]

Originally Posted By SUPERSPORT:

<snip>.....
My wife throws clothes all over the house. I fell on my face this morning. Walking down the hall my feet got tangled up in a bra.




Link Posted: 2/6/2005 4:59:02 AM EST
It's a good thing the wimminz won't see this...it's too true!
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 5:10:41 AM EST

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.


Hahahah, so true!
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 5:48:16 AM EST

Originally Posted By bubba99:

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.



Shake, hell. That situation call for the "helicopter".

HELICOPTER! HELICOPTER! HELICOPTER!
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 10:16:24 AM EST
Good post!
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 10:21:18 AM EST
Yeah, it's the truth and funny. The coarse butt hairs on the soap bar is SOOOOO True
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 10:45:33 AM EST
Oh crap that is some funny stuff. That is the way it goes down in my house.

+1 for shaving the area to make your weiner look bigger.
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 10:51:36 AM EST
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 5:37:31 PM EST
.
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 5:51:37 PM EST

Originally Posted By SUPERSPORT:
[stuff]
My wife throws clothes all over the house. I fell on my face this morning. Walking down the hall my feet got tangled up in a bra.



and i shower more like the 2nd one...LOL
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 5:54:36 PM EST
[Last Edit: 2/6/2005 5:54:54 PM EST by UmpaLumpa]
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 6:01:28 PM EST
lame.
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 6:32:28 PM EST
Has someone been looking in my bathroom window?
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 6:34:14 PM EST
haha......
Link Posted: 2/6/2005 6:47:40 PM EST


Extremely true!
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:22:45 AM EST
.
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:26:45 AM EST
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:31:12 AM EST
*In Asian accent*

"You want watch Lo Wang wash wang, or you want help Lo Wang wash Wang?"

That's how I take showers... it gets lonely in there, just me and the penis. We like company ;)
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:32:31 AM EST

Originally Posted By BBQMAN:
That's true except that I can't stand to have wet towels on the bed. Especially when they stay wet all day and then you try to sleep with a wet blanket or a huge wet spot on the bed.



yea but it's ok for her ass to leave a (little) wet spot
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:32:42 AM EST
I am crying so hard right now!

Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:34:56 AM EST

-Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
-Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.





Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:43:47 AM EST
oh how true
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:46:49 AM EST
Dupe
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:49:11 AM EST

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.


Do a lot of people actually wash themselves with the bar? I rub the bar on my washcloth and wash with the cloth. No hairs on bar.
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:51:36 AM EST
dupety dupe dupe
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:52:35 AM EST
[Last Edit: 3/14/2005 8:53:06 AM EST by rifleman2000]

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
Dupe



Damn, with 17835 posts you can probably "dupe" every thread.




Link Posted: 3/14/2005 8:56:19 AM EST
[Last Edit: 3/14/2005 8:56:36 AM EST by grywlf52]

Originally Posted By rifleman2000:

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
Dupe



Damn, with 17835 posts you probably "dupe"'d every thread.




Fixed it for you
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 9:07:40 AM EST
I'm happy to say the towels in my house are not that large for either me or my wife.
Link Posted: 3/14/2005 9:12:31 AM EST
Say, I saw no mention of men's built-in towel rack.

You know you've done it.
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