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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:40:46 PM EDT
[#1]
I think men understand that it's a normal function so it's accepted and funny when someone decides to bark it out.
Women like to act like they never even take dumps or pick there nose cause they can't accept it's just human nature. That is until a baby farts or picks it's nose, then it's "AWWW HE/SHE's soooo cute". My wife still acts like she doesn't take shits or farts. You want to know how to get to a women? When your talking about farts to your women, tell her she farts in her sleep. OMG its awesome to see how each women reacts to that. 
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:40:52 PM EDT
[#2]
IBT
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:41:45 PM EDT
[#3]
It's a guy thing.
Even when my boys were 18 months and younger, they would laugh when they farted or I farted around them. edit for piss poor spelling. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:42:46 PM EDT
[#4]
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:42:59 PM EDT
[#5]
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:43:07 PM EDT
[#6]
My son is 18 months and when he cuts a big one, he looks at me to see if I heard it, then starts laughing hard.
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:46:07 PM EDT
[#7]
 now that's funny. Seriously though - would you want a woman who ran around saying "Here, pull my finger?"Appreciate what you have. Patty |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:46:23 PM EDT
[#8]
Sorry man, but I don't understand either. After age 6, what's the fascination with bodily functions? |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:46:43 PM EDT
[#9]
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:47:42 PM EDT
[#10]
Apparently, you have not met my wife |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:47:54 PM EDT
[#11]
They understand, they're just not as proud.
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:48:49 PM EDT
[#12]
OK farts are funny. Pretty universally funny.
But I'm glad that my wife and I don't fart around each other and with the exception of an occasional "Do you think you could have sprayed a little air freshener?" I'm fine with not knowing about her bowel movements. HOWEVER I am keeping the "Did you know you fart in your sleep" line for a rainy day... 
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:49:06 PM EDT
[#13]
Maybe in private. In public though? Low brow humor. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:50:20 PM EDT
[#14]
This thread has potential
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:51:41 PM EDT
[#15]
Is a couple of guys hanging out "public"? Cause its saying "we had a farting contest" that gets indignant wtf looks from people and caused this thread. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:54:00 PM EDT
[#16]
If they are hanging out IN public and around other peopel than yes, they are in public. If all a couple of guys hanging out can think to do is have a farting contest, I think they need to expand their horizons. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:56:25 PM EDT
[#17]
Don't forget to tell her she practically sends the blanket flying. I got a girlfriend so embarrassed telling her she farts like a marine in her sleep, I couldn't stay over for weeks. I highly recommend cutting one that will take the paint off the wall, wake her up and blame her. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 1:56:33 PM EDT
[#18]
Walking in the woods hunting. No one else around. Squirrels not to be found anywhere, gave up and started farting. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:02:41 PM EDT
[#19]
When I want to make my wife mad, I tell her that she left the bathroom smelling really foul. She can't stand it that her poop stinks.
We have a two girls (2 and 4). They can almost fart on demand. One will fart, the other will laugh and within 30 seconds the other one farts. I'm so proud. R. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:33:08 PM EDT
[#20]
 I will try that |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:40:40 PM EDT
[#21]
A womans fart can usually peel paint...a byproduct of holding it in too long.
Mine? not so bad...hell when I pull the covers over my girlfriend's head at night after ripping a good one she only fights it for a couple minutes. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:41:32 PM EDT
[#22]
Heheh, now that's good. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:42:46 PM EDT
[#23]
Why am I reminded of that scene in "Mallrats" when Brody explains why his girlfriend left him for farting?
"she left you for farting in front of her" "Yeah, but she was going down on me at the time" "You're lucky all she did was leave you" "Waht can i say I was relaxed" |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:45:04 PM EDT
[#24]
I farted once.
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:45:32 PM EDT
[#25]
A minute or two passed, and so did a small bubble of my gas. I then lifted the covers discreetly, took a whiff, recognized it as the previously offending odor, smiled, and said "Sorry." She then punched me. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:47:23 PM EDT
[#26]
My wife complains about my farts, yet she lets loose first thing on waking up and it sounds like ripping burlap bags. Then she denies it.
Who knows why they do what they do. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:49:37 PM EDT
[#27]
I love giving the wife the "Dutch Oven" treatment 
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Posted: 9/26/2005 2:51:57 PM EDT
[#28]
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Posted: 9/26/2005 3:07:29 PM EDT
[#29]
My wife always tries to sneak them out (SBD's) and hits me with a dutch oven every now and again. Yet she give's me a hard time when I fart when I'm in the bathroom; something's not right there. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 3:10:24 PM EDT
[#30]
Yeah, the cat did it. I've heard that one before. 
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:13:53 AM EDT
[#31]
Someone needs to post the video. |
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:17:01 AM EDT
[#32]
I'm just going on a hunch, but is gas passing a big thing in your life? 
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:20:42 AM EDT
[#33]
 Oh NO! I've seen pictures. She is too much of a lady [covers ears and runs away] Patty
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:30:28 AM EDT
[#34]
desertmoon claws out his own EYES!!!! NO...not THAT woman,....anyone but her!!! I deny it!! It is not possible!!! I refuse to believe DKPROF.....!!!!! |
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:42:06 AM EDT
[#35]
Not all women hate them. Somebody on the now deceased pre-ban.com linked a video of women that loved to fart while nude into other women’s faces and like sniff and inhale them.
 
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:42:21 AM EDT
[#36]
Only my farts are funny.
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:52:10 AM EDT
[#37]
me and my girl were goofing around a few weeks back. this usually escalates from poking and generally annoying eachother to wrestling. well, to make a long story short, i got her in a figure-four arond the mid section and squeezed a little. the resulting noise, blast of heat, and eye-watering fumes i managed to squeeze out of this cute little 95lb. female almost put me in a coma. needless to say, she was a bit embarrased. i don't know why though, we both had a good laugh, and my sinuses were now clear. |
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:56:04 AM EDT
[#38]
Everyone does it whether they admit it or not. The only difference is that some people choose to silence the fair warning that God intended. I would rather have an audible warning so I can avoid the smell.
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Posted: 9/27/2005 7:57:43 AM EDT
[#39]
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Posted: 9/27/2005 10:25:43 AM EDT
[#40]
Around her, it's not your EARS you need to be covering! 
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Posted: 9/27/2005 10:42:02 AM EDT
[#41]
Everytime you fart a little bit of your soul seeps out.
Remember this. Use them wisely. |
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Posted: 9/27/2005 10:55:07 AM EDT
[#42]
If that is true, then I was soul-less by the time I was 7. |
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Posted: 9/27/2005 11:02:16 AM EDT
[#43]
This thread was intensely difficult to masturbate to.
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Posted: 9/27/2005 11:29:16 AM EDT
[#44]
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Posted: 9/27/2005 11:32:19 AM EDT
[#45]
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Posted: 9/27/2005 12:37:52 PM EDT
[#46]
I would never do that.
I want to live to be much older than I am now. (My Dad, 85 says, "When I go, I hope I am shot to death by a jealous husband.") |
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Posted: 9/27/2005 12:50:30 PM EDT
[#47]
was? was? damn |
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Posted: 9/27/2005 2:58:18 PM EDT
[#48]
It gets cold here. Very cold. |
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Posted: 9/27/2005 3:14:38 PM EDT
[#49]
Reminds me of this photo:
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Posted: 9/27/2005 3:23:51 PM EDT
[#50]
All I know is: be careful who you try to Dutch oven. It could horrendously backfire.
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