3 women were chosen to visit a new "husband" shop.
They were told that the shop contained five floors. Once they had moved up a floor they were not allowed to return to any of the lower floors other than the exit.
Off they went to shop for a husband. At the first floor they were greeted with a notice that read "1st floor, have jobs and love children."
"Mmm, not bad" they thought, "but I want more from my man".
So up to the 2nd floor. The notice read "well paid jobs, good looking and love children".
"Yeah thats better" the women said "but lets see whats on the next floor".
At the 3rd floor the notice read "Well paid, love children good looking, and help with the house work".
"Now this is more like it" they said, "it can only get better, lets go up".
At the 4th floor the sign read "Extremely good looking, very high salarries, love children, help around the house and have strong romantic streeks".
"Oh wow, this is just great, just imagine whats on the next floor" they said.
Up to the 5th floor. The sign read "This floor is empty. It was only provided to prove that women are fucking impossible to please. The exit is on the left, hope you fall down the stairs on your way out."

it's funny because it is true

Quoted: it's funny because it is true

Yup...and all are hard to please not just some of them.

My wife left me...



My wife left me... And I don't understand.

After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on
expenses - I had to give up drinking beer.

I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack a day.

Anyway, I gave it up, but I noticed the other day when she came home
from grocery shopping, the receipt included $45 for makeup.

I said, "Wait a minute - I've given up beer, and you haven't given up
anything!"

She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."

I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"

I don't think she'll be back.

Quoted: My wife left me... My wife left me... And I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses - I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack a day. Anyway, I gave it up, but I noticed the other day when she came home from grocery shopping, the receipt included $45 for makeup. I said, "Wait a minute - I've given up beer, and you haven't given up anything!" She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you." I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!" I don't think she'll be back.

Nothing liek the wife looking at me weird because I start laughing at the computer

they only kept going because they hoped to find someone who could fucking spell.  

That's pretty good.

There is a wife shop version of that joke.  I forget most of it, but it goes something like this:

First floor the women are beautiful and like sex
Second floor  The women are beautiful, like sex, and are rich.

Floors 3, 4 and 5 have never been visited

Quoted: A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat". The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday. Her trial is on Monday.

OMG!!!