Family problem opinions needed

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Family problem opinions needed

Posted: 1/5/2002 2:04:03 PM EDT

This is really just a problem with one familly member but I think it concerns everyone. My sister is 20 years old and her birthday is coming up soon. She has asked for a gun and wants me to teach her how to shoot. Great right? Except my sister isn't exactly a stable person. She has talked about ending it all before and has had other mental problems. At the time she was going through some tough financial problems but thats still a pretty serious thing to say. She has been on drugs before(don't know if she currently is). This is tough for me to figure out. On one hand I'm very Pro-gun/ Pro-rights and think she should be able to own a gun but on the other hand I wouldn't want to be partially responsible IF she does something stupid. I understand that I can't stop her from buying a gun and getting a permit but if I help her get there I would feel at fault in the event of a screw up. What should I do?

littlemarine

Posted: 1/5/2002 2:13:37 PM EDT

[#1]

You have answered your own question. It should not even be a question for a responsible gun owner.[V]

Posted: 1/5/2002 2:55:11 PM EDT

[#2]

In this case don't help her do something you may later regret.

Posted: 1/5/2002 3:00:28 PM EDT

[#3]

Yeah, go with your gut instinct. If you bothered enough to post here, you must have some doubts in your mind. Why the sudden interest in shooting? Who knows, maybe she just wants attention. However, the prior mental instability accompanied by the drug usage and relatively young age seem to raise some serious red flags. I know all this is hard to balance with your pro-gun beliefs, but some things are obviously more important than that. Take your time and I hope you can make the right decision. Good luck.

PS-If it came down to it, I think you could actually prevent her from getting a gun or a permit due to her past history. All it would take is a call to the proper authorities. I know this seems like a low thing to do, but only family will actually go out of their way to get this involved. Family first, public opinion---well, last...

Posted: 1/5/2002 3:04:40 PM EDT

[#4]

i say dont help her get it, but if she does her self, it would maybe be in everyones intrest to teach her some gun safety.

Posted: 1/5/2002 3:12:30 PM EDT

[#5]

Remember, even though it is rarely enforced, it is a violation of federal law to provide a weapon to some one who is a drug/alcohol addict or is mentally unstable. If you have any doubts, don't do it.

Posted: 1/5/2002 3:44:27 PM EDT

[#6]

Thanks guys. I did have doubts and your answers have made up my mind. Hopefully she won't do it on her own but if she does I'll definently try to teach her basic saftey.

Posted: 1/5/2002 3:47:37 PM EDT

[#7]

How about you offer to take her shooting for awhile and then maybe you will purchase a gun for her. That way she won't find someone else to buy her a gun, you will be the person she comes to when it comes to the issues of firearms, you can teach her and see if she is stable, and if she isn't then she never gets a gun, if she is stable then we have another pro-gun female. I think that is better than telling her no and hoping she doesn't do something horrible.

Posted: 1/5/2002 3:55:10 PM EDT

[#8]

Littlemarine:

I'd recommend against it. She could turn the gun on herself or others at the range, even if you were with her. And if she did seem stable and got a gun, then she might relapse at some point.

It's kinda cruel, but I think it's the prudent course, given her history. I wish both of you well, but a gun probably isn't the gift for your sister.

Posted: 1/5/2002 3:55:21 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
How about you offer to take her shooting for awhile and then maybe you will purchase a gun for her. That way she won't find someone else to buy her a gun, you will be the person she comes to when it comes to the issues of firearms, you can teach her and see if she is stable, and if she isn't then she never gets a gun, if she is stable then we have another pro-gun female. I think that is better than telling her no and hoping she doesn't do something horrible.

View Quote

That may be best... teach, but don't buy her one yet and let her know she can come to you. Good luck....

Posted: 1/5/2002 5:35:01 PM EDT

[#10]

I suggest a can of the hottest peper spray made and perhaps one of the shocking stun guns. Let here know exactly why you chose these over a firearm.

Posted: 1/5/2002 5:38:33 PM EDT

[#11]

I would NOT assist her in the purchase. As someone else has stated, perhaps a less lethal defense weapon may be in order?

Good luck.

Posted: 1/5/2002 6:05:08 PM EDT

[#12]

I never thought of less than lethal. I think shes interested in guns more because she wants to feel like she has power and that could be dangerous. SWIRE, I think thats a great idea. I'd also feel much better if I had a way of knowing if shes still on drugs. Is there anyone that would do a drug test for an individual?

Posted: 1/5/2002 6:13:02 PM EDT

[#13]

There are lots of commercial labs that do pre-employment drug screening. Cost is approx. $30 and they can test full spectrum. I believe consent of the person being tested is required.
Good luck and I hope everything works out.

Posted: 1/5/2002 6:27:06 PM EDT

[#14]

lm,

you mean you are considering teaching your sister to shoot, but you cant trust her, or talk to her, about whether she is taking any drugs?

maybe she would benefit from a closer relationship with you? perhaps that could even come about through shooting. maybe she is even reaching out to you that way.

if she really is contemplating suicide, there are a lot of options available to her.

Posted: 1/5/2002 11:04:59 PM EDT

[#15]

Less than lethal is probably a good idea. If she is seeking empowerment by possessing a gun, she is headed for trouble.

As far as the drug test goes, you can have one done from a hair sample.

Posted: 1/6/2002 1:00:27 AM EDT

[#16]

1-800-DR-LAURA

Seriously though, littlemarine, have you even ASKED her in all earnestness WHY is it she has the interest in shooting???

I think this would be the first prerequisite step before even contemplating whether you should or should not do for her.

Listen to the answer, read the face, the expressions, the body language. Pass judgment upon the character and sincerity....you get the idea.
HTH
Good Luck.

Posted: 1/6/2002 3:45:16 AM EDT

[#17]

You need to talk with your sister about a lot of things before you discuss firearms with her!

Try and figure out what's on her mind, why she's doing what she's doing, etc.

You owe it to her, to yourself, and to your whole family!

Remember, she'll be the aunt to [u]your[/u] children one day. Will they know her as a loving and trusting aunt, or will they have to be warned about their 'crazy aunt'?

Eric The(HelpMakeHerAFriendToYourChildren)Hun[>]:)]

Posted: 1/6/2002 4:19:08 AM EDT

[#18]

It is only a Federal crime to purchase a gun if you have been ADJUDICATED mentally ill. I am also pretty sure the term is ADDICTED to drugs on the 4473 form.

I don't think she or you would be breaking the law if she purchased a gun.

However, from what you have described, and considering her age, I would probably not get her a gun.

Posted: 1/6/2002 5:12:29 AM EDT

[#19]

Excellant advice has been offered in all posts. All I can say is take it.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Family problem opinions needed

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