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Posted: 10/11/2007 12:10:17 PM EST
Scenario: You awake to find yourself in a strange room. The room is sparsely furnished with a bed, a walk-in refridgerator containing enough food and drinks to keep you alive for decades, a small sink, and a toilet. The bed, toilet, sink, and fridge are bolted down/too heavy to move and cannot be disassembled without tools, which you lack. The only other objects in the room are a pillow and blankets on the bed and a wooden baseball bat.

There are two doors, both marked EXIT. Behind one is a large room full of headcrabs from the Half-Life games. Behind the other is a large room full of facehuggers from the Aliens series. At the far end of each room is a door leading to freedom.

You have the means to survive alone in the room for many years, but it's gonna suck being alone, with poor hygeine, and no entertainment. Alternatively, you can try to make a break for it by entering either room and trying to escape.



So, what do you do and how do you do it? Get creative.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:12:53 PM EST
Open the door and skeet skeet skeet everywhere.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:13:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/11/2007 12:13:34 PM EST by kitwulfen]
How about a twist? There's a third room to go through. It's filled with fursuiters, dressers, and geese. Which do you choose?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:14:29 PM EST
remove toilet from floor. wear on head. walk through facehugger door.



What do I win?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:14:33 PM EST
I would open both doors, and let them fight each other.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:14:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By justinwb:
Open the door and skeet skeet skeet everywhere.


Huh?

You're armed only with a baseball bat, a pillow and blankets, food from the fridge, and toilet paper.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:15:14 PM EST
Head Crabs are much easier to deal with then face huggers. They are slow to turn around, and easy to dodge because of their long jumps, it would make it almost to easy.

Head crabs do very little damage, while a facehugger will latch on and not let go. Hitting it will a baseball bat when its attached to your face could be potentially harmful.

In the worst case scenario I get to become a zombie!
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:15:19 PM EST

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:

Originally Posted By justinwb:
Open the door and skeet skeet skeet everywhere.


Huh?

You're armed only with a baseball bat, a pillow and blankets, food from the fridge, and toilet paper.

you just turned my simple joke into something so much more hilarious.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:15:21 PM EST

Originally Posted By rob78:
remove toilet from floor. wear on head. walk through facehugger door.



What do I win?


You can't. As I said in the original post, everything is either bolted down or too heavy move and cannot be disassembled without tools, which you lack.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:15:29 PM EST
wipe crap all over yourself? maybe then they won't want to eat you?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:16:14 PM EST

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:

Originally Posted By justinwb:
Open the door and skeet skeet skeet everywhere.


Huh?

You're armed only with a baseball bat, a pillow and blankets, food from the fridge, and toilet paper.


can't ...... stop......... laughing
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:17:14 PM EST
Flood the room. open face hugger door, wash them away.

What do I win?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:17:48 PM EST

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:

Originally Posted By rob78:
remove toilet from floor. wear on head. walk through facehugger door.



What do I win?


You can't. As I said in the original post, everything is either bolted down or too heavy move and cannot be disassembled without tools, which you lack.


Use the bat to break the porcelain around the bottom of the toilet. Leave base of toilet bolted to floor. Put toilet on head, walk through facehugger door.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:18:46 PM EST

Originally Posted By jrkarp:

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:

Originally Posted By rob78:
remove toilet from floor. wear on head. walk through facehugger door.



What do I win?


You can't. As I said in the original post, everything is either bolted down or too heavy move and cannot be disassembled without tools, which you lack.


Use the bat to break the porcelain around the bottom of the toilet. Leave base of toilet bolted to floor. Put toilet on head, walk through facehugger door.


aw man, you stole mine
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:20:29 PM EST

Originally Posted By rob78:
Flood the room. open face hugger door, wash them away.

What do I win?


1) How do you know the plumbing is sufficient to flood the entire room?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:20:44 PM EST
Easy. Facehuggers don't last long outside the egg. Their shelf life on their own is about 1 week.

If the facehuggers are all in eggs, run quickly through the room. If you are fast enough, by the time the eggs open you will already be out of the room. If they are scrambling around on the floor. wait two weeks then just walk through. It might help to carry the bat with you, but they cant jump that fast.

What do i win?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:22:30 PM EST

Originally Posted By rob78:
Flood the room. open face hugger door, wash them away.

What do I win?


ETA: Frigging thing posted itself while I was writing.

1) How do you know the plumbing is sufficient to flood the entire room?

2) If it flooded the room, how would you keep from drowning?

3) Wash the facehuggers WHERE? The only place to go is the door at the far end leading to freedom, and it's closed until you run over and open it.

4) Aliens can get by just fine underwater.



Originally Posted By jrkarp:

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:

Originally Posted By rob78:
remove toilet from floor. wear on head. walk through facehugger door.



What do I win?


You can't. As I said in the original post, everything is either bolted down or too heavy move and cannot be disassembled without tools, which you lack.


Use the bat to break the porcelain around the bottom of the toilet. Leave base of toilet bolted to floor. Put toilet on head, walk through facehugger door.


Stainless steel prison toilet, not porcelain.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:25:27 PM EST
Open both doors, shut yourself in the fridge with your supplies and blanket, pillows, etc. Wait a while and they aliens will have wiped themselves out. Unless of course the aliens can infect the headcrabs and make alien headcrab hybrids.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:27:30 PM EST
I think your scenario would be better if the two rooms contained treehuggers and crackheads instead.

More realistic.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:30:04 PM EST

Originally Posted By LOW2000:
Open both doors, shut yourself in the fridge with your supplies and blanket, pillows, etc. Wait a while and they aliens will have wiped themselves out. Unless of course the aliens can infect the headcrabs and make alien headcrab hybrids.


You'd either freeze to death or suffocate. And who knows if facehuggers and headcrabs have any interest in each other? Maybe they'll just scurry into your room and wander around randomly. When you open the fridge, you'd have BOTH to deal with.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:36:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By Conju:
Easy. Facehuggers don't last long outside the egg. Their shelf life on their own is about 1 week.

If the facehuggers are all in eggs, run quickly through the room. If you are fast enough, by the time the eggs open you will already be out of the room. If they are scrambling around on the floor. wait two weeks then just walk through. It might help to carry the bat with you, but they cant jump that fast.


What do i win?


What are you basing this on? They die once they deposit their egg. I have never heard they have a short lifespan.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:36:46 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/11/2007 12:38:08 PM EST by cluster]

Originally Posted By FightingHellfish:
I think your scenario would be better if the two rooms contained treehuggers and crackheads instead.

More realistic.


in that case.. use the bat on the tree huggers..

then instead of walking to freedom.. go back to my little room..

every once in awhile open tree hugger door again and start the beating again ..


after I felt ive taken enough time off of work. I would go to the door of freedom, locking it from the outside..

and when the everyday stresses of life got to me.. I would return to the treehugger room and beat them till i felt better ,




Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:38:06 PM EST
Fashion a head covering from the blanket and pillow case. Kinda like armor.

Run through the headcrab room to freedom.

All you need is something thick enough to keep them from getting to your brain for about 30 seconds and you're home free.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:38:07 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/11/2007 12:39:03 PM EST by XCRmonger]
height=8
contained treehuggers

hock.gif
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:39:14 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/11/2007 5:29:08 PM EST by shogun187]
Open door to headcrab room and let one in at a time, while simultaneously smashing it with your baseball bat. Repeat.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:40:44 PM EST
Take off and nuke the whole site from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:41:13 PM EST
Pie
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:42:33 PM EST
Take the bat and put the knob and shaft in your mouth and bite down hard. Now face huggers cant latch onto your face in the correct position and insert their toung/penis/little alien injector, into your mouth. Then open the door and run like hell. What do I win?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:44:09 PM EST

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
Scenario: You awake to find yourself in a strange room. The room is sparsely furnished with a bed, a walk-in refridgerator containing enough food and drinks to keep you alive for decades, a small sink, and a toilet. The bed, toilet, sink, and fridge are bolted down/too heavy to move and cannot be disassembled without tools, which you lack. The only other objects in the room are a pillow and blankets on the bed and a wooden baseball bat.

There are two doors, both marked EXIT. Behind one is a large room full of headcrabs from the Half-Life games. Behind the other is a large room full of facehuggers from the Aliens series. At the far end of each room is a door leading to freedom.

You have the means to survive alone in the room for many years, but it's gonna suck being alone, with poor hygeine, and no entertainment. Alternatively, you can try to make a break for it by entering either room and trying to escape.




Your bat has begun to glow very brightly.
The facehugger swings his axe, but it misses.

>swing bat
Whoosh!
The facehugger swings, you parry, but the force of his blow knocks your bat away.

>get bat
Taken.

The facehugger hits you with a glancing blow, and you are momentarily stunned.

>kill facehugger with bat
The facehugger is staggered, and drops to his knees.
The facehugger slowly regains his feet.

>AGAIN
A quick stroke, but the facehugger is on guard. The facehugger swings his axe, but
it misses.

>AGAIN
A good slash, but it misses the facehugger by a mile. The axe crashes against
the rock, throwing sparks!

>AGAIN
The facehugger is disarmed by a subtle feint past his guard. The facehugger, now
worried about this encounter, recovers his bloody axe.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:46:16 PM EST

Originally Posted By spartacus2002:

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:

Originally Posted By justinwb:
Open the door and skeet skeet skeet everywhere.


Huh?

You're armed only with a baseball bat, a pillow and blankets, food from the fridge, and toilet paper.


can't ...... stop......... laughing


Superman that ho!!!
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:47:57 PM EST
Watching Aliens now on DVD.

"I'm Hudson, Sir. He's Hicks".

I don't see any baseball bats, only M41A pulse rifles.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:51:03 PM EST
I would go with head crabs. I would make the pillow into a helmet and make armour out of food/drink containers then make a run for it.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:52:18 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:53:46 PM EST
I choose face huggers

Depending on the food. Esp fruit.

Frement the fruit and gather the alchol. Shread the mattress and peel apart the fridge for raw materials. Use the sheets soaked in the alchol blending with your stool or other gel like foods to make sticky fire balls. Use the raw metals to then make a housing for a compression bomb. Secure the sides as best you can. Depending on the plastics that are supplied with the foods they can be melted around the edges. Build up enough to gain about 1-2 inch layer on all exposed edges for a good seal. Basically make a series of small depthcharges. For detination you can use the electrical wires and trips from the fridge unit. you can also allow the food to ferment inside the bombs causing them to pressurize for a bigger concussion. In all actuality you have a variety of weapons at your disposal. Time is on your side so use it. Remember aliens explode when you use fire on them. Source of ignition is simple electricity supplied with the fridge. Use the weather stripping wrapped around the bat with some of the sticky sheets and mattress parts. This will slow the burning of your tourch. Use one wired explosive to set the chain off. Enough heat and fire will cause it to blow. If covered heavily with the sticky fire bonbs then they will fly all over the room sticking on many things bruning everything they touch. Make your way snd move quickly.

Honestly I would go into much greater detail but it would fill this thread to the point that ir would be unreadable. You actually have many things in that room you can use to make explosives and weapons with. The bat for me would just be a tool for furthur developing better more efficent weapons.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:55:08 PM EST

Originally Posted By Fister:
I choose face huggers

Depending on the food. Esp fruit.

Frement the fruit and gather the alchol. Shread the mattress and peel apart the fridge for raw materials. Use the sheets soaked in the alchol blending with your stool or other gel like foods to make sticky fire balls. Use the raw metals to then make a housing for a compression bomb. Secure the sides as best you can. Depending on the plastics that are supplied with the foods they can be melted around the edges. Build up enough to gain about 1-2 inch layer on all exposed edges for a good seal. Basically make a series of small depthcharges. For detination you can use the electrical wires and trips from the fridge unit. you can also allow the food to ferment inside the bombs causing them to pressurize for a bigger concussion. In all actuality you have a variety of weapons at your disposal. Time is on your side so use it. Remember aliens explode when you use fire on them. Source of ignition is simple electricity supplied with the fridge. Use the weather stripping wrapped around the bat with some of the sticky sheets and mattress parts. This will slow the burning of your tourch. Use one wired explosive to set the chain off. Enough heat and fire will cause it to blow. If covered heavily with the sticky fire bonbs then they will fly all over the room sticking on many things bruning everything they touch. Make your way snd move quickly.

Honestly I would go into much greater detail but it would fill this thread to the point that ir would be unreadable. You actually have many things in that room you can use to make explosives and weapons with. The bat for me would just be a tool for furthur developing better more efficent weapons.


Nice, but OP specified that you can't get into/disassemble anything in the room without tools. So your post is full of fail! Stay within parameters.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:55:12 PM EST

Originally Posted By Fister:
I choose face huggers

Depending on the food. Esp fruit.

Frement the fruit and gather the alchol. Shread the mattress and peel apart the fridge for raw materials. Use the sheets soaked in the alchol blending with your stool or other gel like foods to make sticky fire balls. Use the raw metals to then make a housing for a compression bomb. Secure the sides as best you can. Depending on the plastics that are supplied with the foods they can be melted around the edges. Build up enough to gain about 1-2 inch layer on all exposed edges for a good seal. Basically make a series of small depthcharges. For detination you can use the electrical wires and trips from the fridge unit. you can also allow the food to ferment inside the bombs causing them to pressurize for a bigger concussion. In all actuality you have a variety of weapons at your disposal. Time is on your side so use it. Remember aliens explode when you use fire on them. Source of ignition is simple electricity supplied with the fridge. Use the weather stripping wrapped around the bat with some of the sticky sheets and mattress parts. This will slow the burning of your tourch. Use one wired explosive to set the chain off. Enough heat and fire will cause it to blow. If covered heavily with the sticky fire bonbs then they will fly all over the room sticking on many things bruning everything they touch. Make your way snd move quickly.

Honestly I would go into much greater detail but it would fill this thread to the point that ir would be unreadable. You actually have many things in that room you can use to make explosives and weapons with. The bat for me would just be a tool for furthur developing better more efficent weapons.


That sure is a lot of trouble when all you have to do is wrap the blanket and pillow on your head and run.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:55:22 PM EST
KN wins the thread by a country mile.

Zork references FTW.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:58:32 PM EST

Originally Posted By TGMoore:

Originally Posted By Fister:
I choose face huggers

snip . . . .


Nice, but OP specified that you can't get into/disassemble anything in the room without tools. So your post is full of fail! Stay within parameters.


You have a bat. Bat + metal door = open edges. Pry it apart and use the bat as a blunt object to bend to shape.

You dont need tools. OP stated that tools were needed for removal of bolts etc.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 12:59:09 PM EST
I bet if the room had highspeed internet access, a nice wireless laptop and the fridge was filled with a self replenishing supply of Pizza flavor Hot Pockets and Diet Mountain Dew then 83.5% of Arfcommers would never even try or want to leave.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:00:59 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/11/2007 1:01:30 PM EST by wesmerc]

Originally Posted By Fister:

Originally Posted By TGMoore:

Originally Posted By Fister:
I choose face huggers

snip . . . .


Nice, but OP specified that you can't get into/disassemble anything in the room without tools. So your post is full of fail! Stay within parameters.


You have a bat. Bat + metal door = open edges. Pry it apart and use the bat as a blunt object to bend to shape.

You dont need tools. OP stated that tools were needed for removal of bolts etc.


this is ridiculous for the purpose of the experiment pretend that the firdge is a giant industrial one that you cant even peel apart or a walk in one where the entire interior is cement you cannot break

ETA: mine(above on pg 2) wins by the way
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:03:50 PM EST

Originally Posted By FightingHellfish:
I bet if the room had highspeed internet access, a nice wireless laptop and the fridge was filled with a self replenishing supply of Pizza flavor Hot Pockets and Diet Mountain Dew then 83.5% of Arfcommers would never even try or want to leave.


more like 87%
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:03:56 PM EST

Originally Posted By FightingHellfish:
I bet if the room had highspeed internet access, a nice wireless laptop and the fridge was filled with a self replenishing supply of Pizza flavor Hot Pockets and Diet Mountain Dew then 83.5% of Arfcommers would never even try or want to leave.




You forgot the fleshlight...



Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:04:37 PM EST
Feed the headcrabs with food from the freezer util they become your friend, like the scientist dude in HL2. Then walk out.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:05:36 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:07:50 PM EST
Head crabs are pretty freaking slow but can launch themselves at you. Facehuggers are extremely quick, can leap, and are very strong. I'd take my chances with the headcrabs after I make a turbine out of my blanket.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:08:11 PM EST

Originally Posted By Fister:
I choose face huggers

Depending on the food. Esp fruit.

Frement the fruit and gather the alchol. Shread the mattress and peel apart the fridge for raw materials. Use the sheets soaked in the alchol blending with your stool or other gel like foods to make sticky fire balls. Use the raw metals to then make a housing for a compression bomb. Secure the sides as best you can. Depending on the plastics that are supplied with the foods they can be melted around the edges. Build up enough to gain about 1-2 inch layer on all exposed edges for a good seal. Basically make a series of small depthcharges. For detination you can use the electrical wires and trips from the fridge unit. you can also allow the food to ferment inside the bombs causing them to pressurize for a bigger concussion. In all actuality you have a variety of weapons at your disposal. Time is on your side so use it. Remember aliens explode when you use fire on them. Source of ignition is simple electricity supplied with the fridge. Use the weather stripping wrapped around the bat with some of the sticky sheets and mattress parts. This will slow the burning of your tourch. Use one wired explosive to set the chain off. Enough heat and fire will cause it to blow. If covered heavily with the sticky fire bonbs then they will fly all over the room sticking on many things bruning everything they touch. Make your way snd move quickly.

Honestly I would go into much greater detail but it would fill this thread to the point that ir would be unreadable. You actually have many things in that room you can use to make explosives and weapons with. The bat for me would just be a tool for furthur developing better more efficent weapons.


1) You can't disassemble things without tools.

2) Unless you keep a still in your ass, the most you're going to get fermenting juice is the amount of alcohol in beer or wine. Not conducive to molotov cocktails, much less explosives.

3) At no point did Aliens explode while on fire. In fact, we have one that went for a swim in MOLTEN LEAD and did just fine, though it was a little pissed off.

Here is your prize
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:08:49 PM EST

Originally Posted By Alien:
Head crabs are pretty freaking slow but can launch themselves at you. Facehuggers are extremely quick, can leap, and are very strong. I'd take my chances with the headcrabs after I make a turbine out of my blanket.


planning on building a jet fighter out of that baseball bat, sheets, and toilet paper?
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:08:58 PM EST

Originally Posted By T-Ray:

Originally Posted By FightingHellfish:
I bet if the room had highspeed internet access, a nice wireless laptop and the fridge was filled with a self replenishing supply of Pizza flavor Hot Pockets and Diet Mountain Dew then 83.5% of Arfcommers would never even try or want to leave.




You forgot the fleshlight...





You just bumped the percent up into the low 90s.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:11:16 PM EST
Definitely going to take my chances with the headcrabs here. You could probably throw together some makeshift head covering that might give you enough time to get one off your melon as you run for the door. They're alot slower too. Facehuggers can choke you out even if you do get your hands up in time to block.

Most importantly, because of this:
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:12:42 PM EST
Can I trade the bat for a crowbar? Because if so, I know for sure that I will end up being the baddest man in any known universe.
Link Posted: 10/11/2007 1:13:28 PM EST

Originally Posted By spartacus2002:

Originally Posted By Alien:
Head crabs are pretty freaking slow but can launch themselves at you. Facehuggers are extremely quick, can leap, and are very strong. I'd take my chances with the headcrabs after I make a turbine out of my blanket.


planning on building a jet fighter out of that baseball bat, sheets, and toilet paper?


I put turbin but the spell checker corrected it to turbine.
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