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Posted: 6/3/2010 4:33:22 PM EDT
Tonight's lineup at our local theater:

- Iron Man 2
- Letters to Juliet
- MacGruber
- Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
- Robin Hood
- Sex and the City 2
- Shrek Forever After
- Shrek Forever After: 3D
- Shrek Forever After: The IMAX 3D Experience

Or, in other words:

- Sequel
- Same chick-flick, new dress
- More crap spawned out of the SNL abyss
- Another video game movie
- Remake #3 (excluding TV shows, foreign films, and comedies based on the same character)
- Sequel
- Sequel
- Sequel with nausea-inducing glasses
- Sequel with nausea-inducing glasses on a really fucking huge screen

So, just in case you wanted to know, Hollywood, THIS is why nobody is going to movies anymore.

Not the recession.  Not unemployment.  Not less expendable money.  Not home theater systems.  Not sticky floors.  Not over-priced popcorn.  Not yappy teenie-boppers.  Not $10+ tickets.

It is because finding an enjoyable movie that doesn't assume I'm a mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, slanted-forehead simpleton of Paleozoic-origin has become as rare as finding a 17-leaf clover in the middle of winter on the frozen tundra of Antarctica.

Make better products, or go out of business.

Thank you.

_MaH
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:35:07 PM EDT
+1. Hard to argue.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:36:38 PM EDT
I enjoyed Iron Man 2.






But you are right on everything else. They really need to start coming up with decent crap.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:36:43 PM EDT
I saw Iron Man 2....it was alright
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:37:41 PM EDT
Hollywood has been out of talent and ideas for years now. You are just seeing a pinacle of 'I have no idea how to write a script'.

Google the next 50 movies for release or in process...something like that...you'll find the list.

It's all sequels, old TV shows, remakes of movies only 20 years old, etc.

You get the idea...

Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:39:00 PM EDT
I went to the theater for the first time in ten years to see Sherlock Holmes.  I quickly remembered why I don't go to the theater.

Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:39:10 PM EDT
Originally Posted By PaperStreet:
Hollywood has been out of talent and ideas for years now. You are just seeing a pinacle of 'I have no idea how to write a script'.

Google the next 50 movies for release or in process...something like that...you'll find the list.

It's all sequels, old TV shows, remakes of movies only 20 years old, etc.

You get the idea...



Remake, prequel, sequel.

This is the formula.

_MaH
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:39:47 PM EDT
Ironman 2 reminded me a lot of Robocop 2. Shift some stuff around, change some details and it's pretty close.



Crap, crap and more crap.



BTW: They're remaking Robocop. Yay.

Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:39:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2010 4:40:43 PM EDT by hollywoodhatesyou]
Dr Mr. Mhoffman,

Do you think we give a FUCK about the domestic audience? LOL

Sincerely,

Hollywood


PS: We have a new US is evil movie just for you!
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:39:50 PM EDT
Shrek was decent.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:40:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By hollywoodhatesyou:
Dr Mr. Mhoffman,

Do you think we give a FUCK about the domestic audience? LOL

Sincerely,

Hollywood


PS: FU!




I love this post with all my heart.

_MaH
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:43:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ApacheScout:
+1. Hard to argue.


Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:45:14 PM EDT
This is why I enjoy independent films.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:46:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2010 4:49:11 PM EDT by brentwal]
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:50:59 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ApacheScout:
+1. Hard to argue.


Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:51:13 PM EDT
Yep. Agree 100%
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:51:24 PM EDT
Agreed, lots of the movies are pure garbage. Hollywood is smart in going after Generation X. See Transformers, GI Joe, and stuff along those lines that was popular when I was a kid.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:52:23 PM EDT
When you think you're seeing a great new Hollywood movie, 9 times out of 10 it's a direct remake of a foreign film that was better anyway.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:53:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By mhoffman:
Originally Posted By hollywoodhatesyou:
Dr Mr. Mhoffman,

Do you think we give a FUCK about the domestic audience? LOL

Sincerely,

Hollywood


PS: FU!




I love this post with all my heart.

_MaH


The username really brings it all together!
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 4:56:07 PM EDT
When is "The A Team" coming out?

Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:05:47 PM EDT



Needs more zombies.


Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:06:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2010 5:09:22 PM EDT by Angelshare1]
Go check out your local artsy fartsy theater.

Edit:

Landmark theater Denver

Shit on second thought, don't bother.  You're artsy fartsy theater is showing the same crap as the multiplexes.

Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:08:50 PM EDT



Originally Posted By Angelshare1:


Go check out your local artsy fartsy theater.





And see what? the human centipede?



 
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:20:49 PM EDT
I would love to go to the theater and watch a good movie..........
How about this......"The fall of the messiah"  

.........a epic battle of capitalism and socialism.  Find out how lies and corruption brings down one of America's Socialist Presidents.  A dark time in American history were the Lady Liberty's torch fades, but will not be snuffed out.   Watch to see how the basic freedoms in the constitution beat back the regime from within America's borders.  
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:23:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2010 5:23:30 PM EDT by Jinxsters]
Originally Posted By larkinmusic:
I went to the theater for the first time in ten years to see Sherlock Holmes.  I quickly remembered why I don't go to the theater.


I thought Sherlock Holmes was okay.

Edit: But then again I watched it on Blu-ray.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:33:58 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Gripy:
And see what? the human centipede?
 


Uhhhh.....yeah. First I've heard of this. Google did not let me down.


Wow.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:34:53 PM EDT
Prince of Persia was good. Jerry Bruckhiemer knows his action films.

IM2 is supposed to be good, and supports capitalism  –– good for something in this day and age.....and though I didn't want to see Robin Hood, after reading this, I may go see it:

http://www.cato-at-liberty.org/2010/06/02/robin-hood-and-the-tea-party-haters
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:38:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By N1Rampage:
Ironman 2 reminded me a lot of Robocop 2. Shift some stuff around, change some details and it's pretty close.

Crap, crap and more crap.

BTW: They're remaking Robocop. Yay.


Someone drop a NUKE on Hollywood, PLEEEEAASSEEEEEEE.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:43:42 PM EDT
It was MAE WEST in I think'66 or'67, playboy mag, "All the plots have been done".  Of course now we can "chop people up" and stuff, while they are still breathing. You know "technical advancements"
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:49:31 PM EDT
I don't mind video game movies so long as they're not Uwe Boll garbage.

Then again the only halfway decent video game movie in recent memory is Hitman.





I'll give the Prince of Persia film a shot, but only on Netflix.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:56:26 PM EDT
agreed 100%
I doubt I've been to the movies a half dozen times over the past 20 years. Nothing worth watching.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 5:57:42 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ApacheScout:
+1. Hard to argue.


Very hard to argue.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:08:25 PM EDT
What is Shrek?
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:10:40 PM EDT



Originally Posted By hollywoodhatesyou:


Dr Mr. Mhoffman,



Do you think we give a FUCK about the domestic audience? LOL



Sincerely,



Hollywood





PS: We have a new US is evil movie just for you!


Wow, perfect name too!



 
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:15:29 PM EDT
This is why I almost exclusively go to my local independent/foreign film theater

Seen such excellent films as Pan's Labyrinth, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Run Lola Run, The Lives of Others, and so on.

Price is <$20 for my wife and I too include flavored coffees, a huge cup of frozen yogurt and various pastries made by the bakery next door. In the last year I have noticed an increase in people going to this theater- asked the owner about it and he said he has had a 20% increase in sales since last year. He said people want value combined with quality films.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:18:42 PM EDT
Just hold on...I hear they have some remakes of some good movies in the works.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:22:16 PM EDT
IMAX films are usually shorter due to the film process.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:23:26 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:24:33 PM EDT
I am not sticking up for Hollywood but how many stories can they make up? Girl gets guy, guy gets girl, guy saves planet, and so on. It will always be the same shit over and over just with different faces and names.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:26:21 PM EDT
heres my movie theaters line up.

-date night. starring steve carel and tina fey.

so trust me, your life could suck much harder.

Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:30:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2010 6:34:37 PM EDT by bulldog1967]







Originally Posted By swingset:




When you think you're seeing a great new Hollywood movie, 9 times out of 10 it's a direct remake of a foreign film that was better anyway.




aka "The Professional".


 






And Hollywood sucks.

 
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:31:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2010 6:35:41 PM EDT by Deech]
sequels do not mean bad.

its the beginning of summer, a particularly off summer for movies.

next summer is going to be good. its the beginning of comic book movies TAKING OVER (YESH)

captain america
green hornet
green lantern
thor
batman 3
spiderman 4
wonderwoman


also, the reason food and shit is expensive at a theater is because movie theaters make $0.and pennies for every ticket sold. basically, the movie companies get it all, and the theatre will get some, barely enough to pay for the paper its printed on.

concessions is where its all at. thats why its 5 bucks for a soda. thats ALL the movie theater makes for profit. thats how it survives. thats why you get asked to buy an addition 5 different things by the cashier. they want you to buy!!

wait wait wait, what about the advertisements?

thats a contract deal from advertisement agencies. they provide the SEPERATE projector that screens the advertisements, movie trivia, and SCREENVISION bs you see before the movie. the theatre doesnt make money for the ads; the advertisement agency does. the ad agency in turn provides us with a projector and mtnce for it so we can advertise your brains out, and give you some movie trivia.


Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:33:41 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ecgRN:
Originally Posted By Gripy:
And see what? the human centipede?
 


Uhhhh.....yeah. First I've heard of this. Google did not let me down.


Wow.


+1
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:36:02 PM EDT
+1

I'm getting SO tired of rehashed bullshit.  

The sequels I can deal with, sometimes a trilogy is simply what the story calls for.  What really kills me are the derivatives and reboots.  They make me want to claw my eyeballs out.  

It's tragic because there is so much original IP out there that has done well even recently.  I don't see why they need to dig through the dumpster of old ideas to come up with new movies.

Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:36:11 PM EDT



Originally Posted By Deech:
also, the reason food and shit is expensive at a theater is because movie theaters make $0.and pennies for every ticket sold. basically, the movie companies get it all, and the theatre will get some, barely enough to pay for the paper its printed on.








That is only true during the first week or two that the movie premieres.





 
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:36:27 PM EDT
Originally Posted By bulldog1967:

Originally Posted By swingset:
When you think you're seeing a great new Hollywood movie, 9 times out of 10 it's a direct remake of a foreign film that was better anyway.

aka "The Professional".  

And Hollywood sucks.
 


Pretty much. Last good movie I saw in theaters was "The Departed". Realized it was based off of a Japanese film a few days later.

Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:42:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2010 6:42:52 PM EDT by Deech]
Originally Posted By satellite:
Originally Posted By bulldog1967:

Originally Posted By swingset:
When you think you're seeing a great new Hollywood movie, 9 times out of 10 it's a direct remake of a foreign film that was better anyway.

aka "The Professional".  

And Hollywood sucks.
 


Pretty much. Last good movie I saw in theaters was "The Departed". Realized it was based off of a Japanese film a few days later.



doesnt mean it sucks.

if all of a sudden you realize a movie you really like was based off something else, why would you be disappointed and change your mind?
the departed is still a good film.

the original could have sucked dick


and by the way ALL MOVIES HAVE BEEN DONE BEFORE IN ANOTHER FORM

before there was xxxxx, the director read xxxxx novel, was inspired and wrote a script

there are no true original ideas now. unless its super fucked up, chances are its been done before in some way or another, in similar fashion

even if the director had never seen the "original material" and the movie resembled it, it doesnt matter. so many fucking books, short stories, short films, comic books, etc have been written that finding something that doesnt resemble another will never happen.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:47:00 PM EDT
best movie I've seen in a while? Warlords, with Jet Li.  it's in Chinese, with English subtitles, awesome movie.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:54:56 PM EDT
They don't make them like "Joe Dirt" and "Dumb and Dumber" any more.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:57:11 PM EDT
It sure isn't 1984 in Holywood.  The Top 50 from that year:



1.

Beverly Hills Cop

Paramount

$234,760,478

2.

Ghostbusters

Columbia
Pictures

$229,242,989

3.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Paramount

$179,870,271

4.

Gremlins

Warner
Bros.

$148,168,459

5.

The Karate Kid

Columbia Pictures

$90,815,558

6.

Police
Academy

Warner Bros.

$81,198,894

7.

Footloose

Paramount

$80,035,402

8.

Romancing
the Stone

20th Century Fox

$76,572,238

9.

Star Trek III:
The Search for Spock

Paramount

$76,471,046

10.

Splash

Buena
Vista

$69,821,334

11.

Purple Rain

Warner Bros.

$68,392,977

12.

Amadeus

Orion
Pictures

$51,564,280

13.

Tightrope

Warner Bros.

$48,143,579

14.

The
Natural

TriStar Pictures

$47,951,979

15.

Greystoke: The
Legend of Tarzan

Warner Bros.

$45,858,563

16.

Revenge of the
Nerds

20th Century Fox

$40,874,452

17.

2010

MGM

$40,400,657

18.

Breakin'

Cannon
Pictures

$38,682,707

19.

Bachelor Party

20th Century Fox

$38,435,947

20.

Red
Dawn

MGM

$38,376,497

21.

The Terminator

Orion Pictures

$38,371,200

22.

City
Heat

Warner Bros.

$38,348,988

23.

All of Me

Universal

$36,403,064

24.

Places
in the Heart

TriStar Pictures

$34,901,614

25.

The Killing
Fields

Warner Bros.

$34,700,291

26.

Friday the 13th — The
Final Chapter

Paramount

$32,980,880

27.

Conan the Destroyer

Universal

$31,042,035

28.

Dune

Universal

$30,925,690

29.

The
Gods Must Be Crazy

20th Century Fox

$30,031,783

30.

Starman

Columbia
Pictures

$28,744,356

31.

The Last Starfighter

Universal

$28,733,290

32.

Cannonball
Run II

Warner Bros.

$28,078,073

33.

Teachers

MGM

$27,774,237

34.

A
Passage to India

Columbia Pictures

$27,187,653

35.

Pinocchio

Buena
Vista

$26,414,038

36.

Protocol

Warner Bros.

$26,186,631

37.

Micki
& Maude

Columbia Pictures

$26,080,861

38.

The Cotton
Club

Orion Pictures

$25,928,721

39.

The Muppets Take
Manhattan

TriStar Pictures

$25,534,703

40.

A Nightmare on
Elm Street

New Line Pictures

$25,504,513

41.

The Woman in
Red

Orion Pictures

$25,308,147

42.

Moscow on the Hudson

Columbia
Pictures

$25,068,724

43.

The Flamingo Kid

20th Century Fox

$23,859,382

44.

Sixteen
Candles

Universal

$23,686,027

45.

The Jungle Book

Buena
Vista

$23,456,945

46.

Missing in Action

Cannon Pictures

$22,812,411

47.

A
Soldier's Story

Columbia Pictures

$21,821,347

48.

Against
All Odds

Columbia Pictures

$21,689,062

49.

Oh God! You Devil

Warner
Bros.

$21,538,850

50.

Rhinestone

20th Century Fox

$21,435,321





-p.
Link Posted: 6/3/2010 6:58:56 PM EDT
We're going to gamble on SPLICE this weekend.

It's probably gonna suck but what the hell.
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