Ever wake up humping the mattress?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Ever wake up humping the mattress? (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:43:45 AM EDT

I did this morning and my GF was looking at me with a WTF look on her face. I told her I was dreaming about her but in reality I have no idea what my dream was about. Am I alone in this phenomena?

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:45:10 AM EDT

[#1]

every day...

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:45:58 AM EDT

[#2]

Yes you are And having wet dreams about Obama is fucking gross

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:46:09 AM EDT

[#3]

No, you're not alone. It's pretty common. Be careful though about rolling over on that certain part of your anatomy when it is erect; you can actually BREAK it.

I know a guy who had this happen. He had to have surgery. To this day, we still call him "broke dick Joe".

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:49:44 AM EDT

[#4]

Nope, haven't woken up to humping the matress...

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:51:11 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
Nope, haven't woken up to humping the matress...

Weirdo!

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:52:18 AM EDT

[#6]

I plead the fifth!

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:53:17 AM EDT

[#7]

I've deployed 4 times... so yes, I sure as hell have.

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:54:03 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Yes you are And having wet dreams about Obama is fucking gross

I agree with this statement.

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:55:02 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
I plead the fifth!

Posted: 1/24/2009 2:56:30 AM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I plead the fifth!

IBSSPP

In Before Someone Says Post Pics

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:00:41 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I plead the fifth!

IBSSPP

In Before Someone Says Post Pics

Beat me to it.

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:07:44 AM EDT

[#12]

In...

Potential to be epic, this has

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:10:30 AM EDT

[#13]

Sucks getting stuck to the sheets. Asked my wife if we had sex, she said no.

Must of been a great dream.

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:18:16 AM EDT

[#14]

I have woke up humping the mattress before but the wife was always between the mattress and me.

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:20:07 AM EDT

[#15]

no

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:20:25 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I plead the fifth!

IBSSPP

In Before Someone Says Post Pics

I found pics! WOWZA!!!! No, I won't give a link.

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:23:06 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I plead the fifth!

IBSSPP

In Before Someone Says Post Pics

I found pics! WOWZA!!!! No, I won't give a link.

Thanks!

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:33:31 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
no

Liar

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:36:13 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I plead the fifth!

IBSSPP

In Before Someone Says Post Pics

I found pics! WOWZA!!!! No, I won't give a link.

Thanks!

Thanks? Har har, I've done that so many times.

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:36:48 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Yes you are And having wet dreams about Obama's wife is fucking gross

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:37:39 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
No, you're not alone. It's pretty common. Be careful though about rolling over on that certain part of your anatomy when it is erect; you can actually BREAK it.

I know a guy who had this happen. He had to have surgery. To this day, we still call him "broke dick Joe".

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:38:38 AM EDT

[#22]

Haha yes!

My girlfriend hit me because of it one morning. It's not often, but i've been known every couple of months get caught doing that.

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:41:13 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Haha yes!

My girlfriend hit me because of it one morning. It's not often, but i've been known every couple of months get caught doing that.

Well, tell her that if she provided you with more pie, your subconscious wouldn't feel the need to have sex with the mattress !

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:46:21 AM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
I have woke up humping the mattress before but the wife was always between the mattress and me.

Happened to me this morning!

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:50:05 AM EDT

[#25]

I should show her this, it'll help.

Quoted:

Quoted:

Haha yes!

My girlfriend hit me because of it one morning. It's not often, but i've been known every couple of months get caught doing that.

Well, tell her that if she provided you with more pie, your subconscious wouldn't feel the need to have sex with the mattress !

Posted: 1/24/2009 3:50:07 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I have woke up humping the mattress before but the wife was always between the mattress and me.

Happened to me this morning!

lucky bastages. my little 3 yo charlie bravo has eliminated my chances of pie as of late.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:04:10 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
I've deployed 4 times... so yes, I sure as hell have.

Hmmm.. I dont think I want to know just how you define 'deployed' in that sentence..

Brian

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:06:03 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I've deployed 4 times... so yes, I sure as hell have.

Hmmm.. I dont think I want to know just how you define 'deployed' in that sentence..

Brian

how's about extended vacations to a place where the spiders scare us more than much else?

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:15:22 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I plead the fifth!

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:16:09 AM EDT

[#30]

Oh yeah done that.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:16:43 AM EDT

[#31]

VECTOR, you worry me.

It seems like every time I read a WTF thread title it has you listed as the author.

I have never, in over 12 years of marriage, ever seen my husband do that. He has, however, fallen out of the bed multiple times and ALWAYS because he's fighting his brother in his dreams.

He's 35.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:19:01 AM EDT

[#32]

I have yet to hump a matress.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:19:02 AM EDT

[#33]

Mattress, lamp, wife, pillow, cat, dog....

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:20:03 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
VECTOR, you worry me.

It seems like every time I read a WTF thread title it has you listed as the author.

I have never, in over 12 years of marriage, ever seen my husband do that. He has, however, fallen out of the bed multiple times and ALWAYS because he's fighting his brother in his dreams.

He's 35.

I guess I'm just a WTF type of guy. I talk about things most people don't I suppose. Plus I live in Florida.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:24:56 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:

Quoted:
VECTOR, you worry me.

It seems like every time I read a WTF thread title it has you listed as the author.

I have never, in over 12 years of marriage, ever seen my husband do that. He has, however, fallen out of the bed multiple times and ALWAYS because he's fighting his brother in his dreams.

He's 35.

I guess I'm just a WTF type of guy. I talk about things most people don't I suppose. Plus I live in Florida.

I guess it's no worse than falling/jumping out of the bed because your 38-year old brother pissed you off in your dreams. We all have our own things, I guess.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:25:45 AM EDT

[#36]

Originally Posted By OnlineAllTheTime:
VECTOR, you worry me.

Oh the irony...

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:39:05 AM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:

Originally Posted By OnlineAllTheTime:
VECTOR, you worry me.

Oh the irony...

There's a reason for that.

I'm a long-time member of a parenting website and for years you could change your screenname anytime you wanted. One day they sprung on us that we had a deadline and our screenname would be permanent. I really wanted something profound that said who "I" was but I cracked under pressure and went with the first thing I thought of that didn't involve my kids. It was easier to just carry that name over here too.

So, I'm not HERE all the time.........but I do spend a lot of time on the computer.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:43:09 AM EDT

[#38]

In Soviet Russia, the mattress humps you.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:45:06 AM EDT

[#39]

Is your dog named Mattress?

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:46:09 AM EDT

[#40]

I clicked this thing it said humping a waitress. 'Xcuse me while I get some coffee to wash my face with.

Posted: 1/24/2009 4:58:35 AM EDT

[#41]

It's not as bad as falling asleep while humping the mattress.

Posted: 1/24/2009 5:07:11 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Mattress, lamp, wife, pillow, cat, dog....

its all good.

Posted: 1/24/2009 5:07:32 AM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
It's not as bad as falling asleep while humping the mattress.

thats funny as hell!

Posted: 1/24/2009 5:12:03 AM EDT

[#44]

I can't remember specifically humping the mattress, but I grope my wife all the time in my sleep and occasionally hump her. I never remember it and I'm always legitimately asleep. It annoys her and amuses the hell out of me!