I nearly had to go to the hospital just making chicken fried steak. Damn, oil gets pretty freakin hot when applied to the torso.

ETA: Anybody got a good recipe for chicken fried steak? Mine came out kind of bland.

Yep, been there.  I never fry without using one of those splatter screens now.

ETA:  Good old Lawry's Seasoned Salt does wonders if you don't want to take the time to make your own salt mix.  Sprinkle it on just prior to flouring the meat.  Avoid the McCormick version BTW.

If I want Chicken Fried Steak I yell at my Wyminz to go make it. Make me a sammich woman

when i used to work in a kitchen, i had a day where i shouldnt have been in there.  it was a friday or saturday night (very busy) and i was in charge of the saute line, oven, etc... i was in the process of making chicken marsala, and  the pan was in the oven ( around 350-400) when it was time to pull it out, i wasnt thinking (because i had about fifty thousand other things going at the same time) and i grabbed the metal handle with my bare hand.  ouch.  luckily, it turned out to be not so bad, but it certainly hurt like hell.  

CHICKEN FRIED STEAK The Good Old Way My Mom Taught Me
(a guaranteed artery clogger)
Meat
Flour
Salt
Pepper
Crisco
Milk

small ceramic plate
big bowl
cast iron skillet

Take meat, place on cutting board and POUND it sharply with the edge of the small ceramic plate.  Southern and Western women got out a lot of frustration this way.  I do not know if a man can do it correctly.  Perhaps you should put on a girdle, a hoop skirt and lipstick first to inflict the proper degree of frustration upon yourself.

Really pound that meat until you can see holes in it.

Put a whole bunch of flour in a big bowl, maybe 1/3 full.  NEVER measure anything!  It really doen't matter.

Now add salt and pepper to the flour.  However much you think you'll want.  Just remember you can always add more, but you can't take it out.

Heat oil in cast iron skillet.  Probably about 3/4 of a high flame.  It is hot enough when a droplet of water makes a big sizzle.

CAUTION.  Now you enter the death zone.  Insert the meat into the hot oil.  No cowering or whining aloowed.  Millions of women have done this for centuries.  DO IT.  (kind of sliiiide it in, don't drop it in, thinking you can cower faster than hot grease splatters)

Cook until nice and crispy.  Take the meat out. Turn off fire.

GRAVY:

Use a fork to sort of scramble and dislodge the "crispies".  Stir in some of the seasoned flour mixture.  Stir like all git out  .  Sir as though your very life depended upon it.  Now turn th eheat on low.  Sloooowly add milk to thicken.

Now your have authentic chicken fried steak with gravy!

I have many days when I'm so damn clumsy I should stay out of the kitchen, but unfortunately that's not an option for me.

Don't know about chicken fried steak (what is it?), but when shallow frying, you should gently place the meat into the fat with the movement going away from your body.

Hurts like a mofo don't it?

Cooking in the nude is a no, no.