Should have stayed in bed today. Woke up with a severe head cold, then had to take an ice cold shower as the pilot light had went out on the water heater sometime last night. Then by mistake I take the medicine that puts you in a coma rather than the non-drowsy medicine, didn't realize it until after I swallowed and then I looked at the pillbox.
On the drive to work, the top to my coffee mug was loose and I ended up pouring 16 ounces of steaming hot coffee into my crotch, got a nice burn on the frank and beans and ass. Have to turn around go back home and change clothes to realize that I had no clean work clothes left. Have to dig through the dirty laundry to find something that does not look too dirty (have to wear company logo shirt). I put some towels on the car seat and drive back to work.
So I show up to work an hour late, in a wrinkled up shirt, feeling like crap and have yet to have any coffee. My hair is full of static and is standing straight up because I laid too many towels on the wet car seat so my head was rubbing on the car roof. I then realize that I should have been in the executive meeting that started 35 minutes ago. I rush to the meeting and everyone stares at me, I apologise for my tardyness and have a seat.
Then I remember that I was to make a presentation to the board about a new product we are offering, so I take out my notebook computer to refresh myself on the details as it's been a few weeks since I've looked at it. The damn computer will not boot up - the batteries are dead, just at that point, I say "God fucking dammit" under my breath, but realized it was not under my breath at all and that I had shouted it, so now the board of directors, senior management are all staring at me again. I apologize and mumble something about computer problems. The president is giving me the evil eye at that point. Then I realize that everyone is still staring at me and noone is talking.
An associate sitting next to me whispers to me that it's my turn. Fine I'll just wing it, go to the front of the room and my mind goes blank, the coma inducing medication has kicked in and I can't think of anything to say, can't even think of the product name. People are starting to get impatient. So I start out with "You ever have one of those days...." and recount the story of how my day has gone on so far, the people are in tears laughing at how shitty my day has been so far.
I make my apologies and promise a brillant presentation at the next meeting and say that I am now going to the hospital to have my burns looked at. They laugh more and I exit the room, then my assistant whispers "Fly", and I'm thinking I don't see any flies, WTF? Then I look down and realize that my zipper was open the whole time, great!
I'm home now and feel better. My burns aren't too bad, nothing to go to the hospital over, but will my ego ever heal? Damn what a day!