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Posted: 3/15/2011 1:40:16 PM EDT
And the Lord did say unto Adam, "Here I have created Eve, to be your
comfort and strength.  I have made her pleasing to the eye so that you
would protect her beauty, soft to the touch so that you may hold her
close and fertile so that you may multiply."





So Adam looked closly upon Eve and then back to the Lord and said "Lord,
I find her to be all you say, but I beg ask one question.  Why didst
thou give her lumps upon her chest?"





The Lord looked at Adam and replied, "Deem tits is fer motorboating ya dumb bastard."
Link Posted: 3/15/2011 1:45:14 PM EDT
[#1]
Meh.

IBTBT (In Before The Bible Thumpers)....

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 3/15/2011 1:46:10 PM EDT
[#2]


Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. God
asked him, "What is wrong with you?” Adam replied that he was lonely and
didn’t have anyone to talk to.



God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would
be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for
you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will
always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children
and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of
them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was
wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache
and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.



Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?”



God replied,  "An arm and a leg.”



Adam thought a moment and asked, "What can I get for a rib?”

Link Posted: 3/15/2011 1:46:50 PM EDT
[#3]
Thou shall spend an eternity in hellfire for such blasphemy.
Link Posted: 3/15/2011 1:47:28 PM EDT
[#4]



Quoted:


Thou shall spend an eternity in hellfire for such blasphemy.


Nah.  I'm Catholic.



 
Link Posted: 3/15/2011 1:48:29 PM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. God asked him, "What is wrong with you?” Adam replied that he was lonely and didn’t have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?”

God replied,  "An arm and a leg.”

Adam thought a moment and asked, "What can I get for a rib?”



Link Posted: 3/15/2011 1:49:05 PM EDT
[#6]



Quoted:


Meh.



IBTBT (In Before The Bible Thumpers)....



Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


Hey, I was drunk last night when I thought of it.



 
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