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Posted: 12/15/2005 7:06:30 AM EDT
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 7:07:45 AM EDT
That's pretty funny.   I think it was here 6 months ago... so it is good for another go around!
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 7:12:14 AM EDT
And as a side note, I am German and  English, so I am only making fun of myself.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 7:22:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/15/2005 7:22:56 AM EDT by rjroberts]
Actually, it's a good issue.  If they want a uniform currency and no borders, then why not a uniform language?  Ah, but national prides will get in the way.  Why French and not German, or vice versa?  English actually would be a good choice because so many other people in the world speak it.  But, I favo(u)r that because I'm lazy.  The French parts of English spellings need to be corrected, though.

Fun for language.  There have been disputes in the EU about what to call certain commodities.  An amusing one was "potato."  The Germans call them Kartoffel(add n for plural).  In certain parts of Austria, they are called Erdaepfel (n).  The Germans insisted on their word, but the Austrian word is an exact translation of the French Pommes de terre.

Maybe the next European war will be over languages.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 7:50:54 AM EDT
Im of German and English descent nd that got hard to read
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 8:12:07 AM EDT
Y due u wan gna chain'gd inglesch spel'n four?  Xzip fore a fuel werds, itz werken weal well oveh hare and wood calz massiv conphusshun ahmung uz awe.  Duz this meen the spellchequer n Werd ore Werdpurfick awso hastabe chaing'd tue?  
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 8:24:53 AM EDT
That is hilarious.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 8:27:36 AM EDT
hahahaha zehr gut!
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 9:05:26 AM EDT
Koanscht net Hoachdeitsch redn?
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 9:07:48 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 9:15:31 AM EDT
Das ist sehr gut
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 9:54:17 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DeadSled:
Das ist sehr gut

I thought so.
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