YOU MAY BE A REDNECK ENGINEER IF YOU CAN ANSWER THE FOLLOWING:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or 64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 60 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine  employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift.  How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

[shock]

11. Sorry, I can't fix your $APPLIANCE, we're all out of duct tape.

Q 3.

A3. There isn't a privately owned still in this country that will put out 60 gph!

A 20 gallon wash still takes about 2 hours at 190 degrees and a chilled worm to put out a gallon. Thats with a double 5/8" worm. I hope that helps.

(the above tutorial is purely hypothetical and should not be construed as first hand knowledge)[;)]

YOU MAY BE A REDNECK ENGINEER IF YOU CAN ANSWER THE FOLLOWING:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.  

3 cans of beer + 1 Brother in Law + 2 feet of baling wire = .5 inch diameter limb

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or 64 Pontiac GTO.

FORD - First One Rusted, Dude!  

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 60 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

Ah, trick Question.  Import or domestic cars?  Import = 12, domestic = 6.

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys will it take to cut the trees?  

12 + a shade tree.  I hate sitting in the sun watching my wife cut firewood.

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

Decrease?  I thought areosol was good for the planet?  Guess I gotta quit poppin r12 cans for handheld AC...

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

3 + plus two neighborhood kids hiding under it trying to look up the neighborhood hottie's skirt

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

All of them.  The corrolary is how many mother's do the kids have in common?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

Man, in that case, my underware would need a muffler!

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine  employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift.  How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

37.  The second question, is "From which bottom did hte gas originate?  The mine or the miners?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

9 months